I'll Be Yours If You'll Be Mine by NelyafinweFeanorion

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Chapter 33

Sorry for the long interval between updates. Real life has gotten crazy. . Hope you enjoy the update and are still with me on this modern version of the Silmarillion.
Thanks for all the support of this fic and again thanks to Cheekybeak for her input on this chapter.

"I'm falling, the ice below me cracking with the weight of all that came before.

But you catch me.

The cold unravels me. All my insecurities exposed.

But all you say as you hold me is 'This is where I've wanted to be.'

And I realize that this is where I always want to be."

Maglor ripped the sheet of paper out of his notebook, crumpling it irritably before he tossing into the already overflowing wastebasket under his desk.

He couldn't get the damn lyrics to work. They sounded stupid, no matter what he did. Those two lines were perfect—just as he'd heard Maedhros say them last week but he had been wrestling with them since then, trying to make them fit, trying to make them convey the emotions he knew they represented.

The framing just didn't do them ice imagery kept creeping in, thanks to Maedhros and his day with Fingon.

He was glaring at the blank page in front of him when his phone chimed with a text. From the ringtone he knew it was Maedhros.

He'd gotten a brief message from him last night, letting him know that Maedhros was staying over at Fingon's. That had done much to settle Maglor—things had to be going well if his brother was actually going to risk spending the night away from home.

He glanced down at the text.

MAEDHROS: your offer to work for me today still open?

Maglor's eyes flicked to the time above the message. 9:52. He had more than enough time to shower, eat and drive to Formenos by noon.

He couldn't help the grin that came over his face. Things must be going quite well for Maedhros to even consider skipping work.

MAGLOR: yes. Happy to do it. Song writing is sucking mightily right now so a change of venue would be most welcome.

MAEDHROS: Thanks. Appreciate it. So does Fingon. -)

Maglor stared at his phone. Maedhros had seriously just typed that? So matter of fact? He'd thanked the Valar before today for Fingon. He did it again now as he typed his response.

MAGLOR: TMI. Save that for Tyelko. I don't even want to know why you can't go to work.

MAEDHROS: :)

MAGLOR: Maybe you should just get back to Fingon.

MAEDHROS: On it. Or him, I should say.

MAGLOR: SHUT UP. Do you not understand what TMI stands for?

MAEDHROS: Thanks again. I'll make sure you get a Xmas bonus for this.

MAGLOR: I was hoping for time and a half. Holiday pay, you know.

MAEDHROS: Nice try.

MAGLOR: Stop texting me. I've got to get ready to go do your job and I'm sure you've got "things" to do.

MAEDHROS: since you mention it . . .

MAGLOR: SHUT UP AND GO DO FINGON!

Maglor put his phone down with a laugh. There were no more responses from Maedhros.

If anyone deserved a little happiness it was his older brother.

Not long after, showered and dressed, Maglor made his way to the kitchen.

He was not particularly surprised to find his mother seated at the table, the newspaper in front of her and a mug of coffee in her hand. He was a bit surprised to find her alone.

"Good morning," she greeted him brightly. "The coffee's still hot and I've got muffins on the counter."

"Thanks, Mom," Maglor said, kissing her cheek as he walked by her. "Anyone else up?"

"Curvo's in the shed with your father, tinkering with something. Tyelko's out for a run." She leaned back in her chair, both hands wrapped around her mug. "It snowed again so I sent the Ambarussa out to shovel." Her eyes softened as she smiled at him. "So only Moryo and Maedhros unaccounted for."

"I'm sure Moryo's hiding out until everyone else is out and about," Maglor responded.

"Maedhros can't still be asleep?" she asked, her eyebrows drawing together. "That's not like him." Her frown deepened. "Did he not sleep well?" she asked, her voice dropping lower.

Maglor shook his head as he filled his mug and grabbed one of his mother's pumpkin muffins. "Nothing like that," he reassured her, gratified that her expression softened again at his words. "He just decided to spend the night at Fingon's."

Her eyebrows shot up this time and she leaned forward. "He did? That's good. I'm surprised but it's a good sign, I'm sure." She sighed as she met Maglor's eyes. "Are we going to meet this mysterious Fingon anytime over the holidays, you think?"

Maglor thought back to the girls he had brought home to meet the family over the years. His relatives meant well, really. Well, most of them did, he amended. He wasn't so sure about the Ambarussa.

His family was just so intense. It often made for awkward first meetings. At least it had for everyone he had brought home.

But somehow Maglor couldn't see Fingon being so easily intimidated. He and Tyelko certainly hadn't fazed him one bit. Maglor hoped to be in attendance when Fëanor met Fingon. That would be worth seeing.

He realized his mother was still looking at him expectantly. "Sorry. Thoughts just got away from me. I'm sure Maedhros will bring him by sometime before Fingon's internship starts next month." He tilted his head and smiled at Nerdanel. "I'm sure you'll like him, Mom. He's a great guy and he's really good with Maedhros."

Nerdanel's face relaxed and her eyes crinkled in the corners as her smile widened. She pushed back the wisps of unruly hair that had escaped her messy bun. "I'm glad to hear that. Maedhros hasn't said much but what he has mentioned, he's said in such a way that I knew this was different."

Maglor was seated across from her now, munching on his muffin as he spoke. "It is different. I haven't seen him this happy in awhile." He paused to sip some coffee before continuing. "I mean, he was happy when he opened the bookstore but this . . . this goes beyond that." He frowned as he searched for the right word. "He seems content, although I don't think that's even a strong enough word to describe it."

Nerdanel nodded, her eyes taking on a fond look. "Content is good, Maglor. It's so much better than . . ." she let her words trail off.

Maglor couldn't agree more. He glanced at his watch. Probably time to get on the road.

"Where are you off to today? Not staying home?" Nerdanel asked, noticing his motion. Mom didn't miss much, he knew that.

"Shift at the bookstore. I'll be back by 6:30, as long as the roads are clear and we don't get more snow."

She nodded. "I'll hold dinner for you. I don't get all of you here at home together often enough," she said wistfully, as she stood up to hug him goodbye.

Aredhel had made tentative plans with Tyelko for Saturday night but she had still been far too irritated at the whole Turgon incident so she had begged off, offering to meet him for lunch or coffee today instead.

In truth she was still troubled by Maedhros' behavior the day before and Fingon's apparent lack of concern. She knew Fingon hadn't come home last night. She had texted him late in the evening, receiving a curt reply that he was at his apartment and intended to say there for the night.

It was so rare that she and Fingon were at odds with one another. She didn't like it.

She brushed her hair, her strokes fast and hard, her hair bearing the brunt of her bad mood. She would be no good meeting Tyelko in this frame of mind. It wasn't like any of this was his fault.

She put the brush down and took a deep breath. She was upset but Aredhel knew Turgon had hit fairly close to the mark when he brought up her ex. There was no question some of her disquiet stemmed from that experience of her own.

And from what she had witnessed of Fingon and Maedhros' relationship so far Maedhros wasn't like that. Fingon looked so happy when he was with him and Maedhros looked the same. She rubbed her forehead. Maybe Turko was right. Maybe she was projecting a little bit.

Tyelko wasn't like that either; even this early in their relationship she could just tell.

She had never dated someone who made her laugh as much as Tyelko did, who treated her like Tyelko did. She could be herself with him and he reveled in it. He just got her—her irreverent sense of humor, her fierce competitiveness, her focus on her independence. It was just so easy to be with him.

She made a face at herself in the mirror then rolled her shoulders to release the tension. This really didn't have to be so hard. She wanted to see Tyelko and maybe, just maybe, he'd put her mind at ease about all this.

Tyelko pulled up in front of the house and ran a hand through his hair. This was the first time he had felt even a twinge of apprehension about a date with Aredhel.

He had been disappointed at the change of plans the night before. Her texts had seemed a bit more perfunctory than usual too.

Ugh. He needed to stop over thinking this. He was getting to be as bad as Maglor and that was a really terrible sign. Enough. Yesterday had ended up been a shitty day for everyone involved but it was over and done with now.

Tyelko got out of the car. He would be fine. They would be fine.

He crunched through the newly fallen snow on the sidewalk and made his way to the front door. It opened quite rapidly after he rang the bell and he looked up at a man who unquestionably was Aredhel's father.

He looked uncannily like Fingon—same intense blue eyes and black hair, just cut shorter.

It had always been Aredhel's mother or Aredhel herself who had answered the door previously. Well, he knew he was going to meet her father sometime.

"Hi. I'm Tyelko. I'm here for Aredhel. Nice to meet you." Tyelko reached his hand out to the man.

A firm grip met his handshake and the force of the gaze only increased. It surprisingly reminded Tyelko of his father.

"I'm Fingolfin, Aredhel's father. Nice to finally meet you." He paused, squeezing Tyelko's hand one more time before letting go. "I knew your parents at Cuivienen," he added, the intensity of the eyes meeting Tyelko's sharpening even further.

Tyelko grinned in response. "You must have some good stories, I assume. Mom says Dad was a handful back then."

Fingolfin's eyes widened and he found himself unexpectedly returning Tyelko's grin. "You could say that," he said, with a wry look. "I certainly won't be passing any of them on to you though. I know your father too well to risk that."

Tyelko laughed.

"Come in," Fingolfin said, his gaze softening as he motioned Tyelko into the house. "I'm sure Aredhel will be down in a minute."

Tyelko scraped his wet shoes on the mat, avoiding the hardwood floor. "I hope Turgon's feeling better," he said, deciding his best option was to face that uncomfortable subject right away.

Fingolfin raised his eyebrows. "He's looked better but we'll always know which Christmas these photos are from."

"I heard my name," a voice said as Turgon wandered into the foyer. He nodded at their guest. "Hey, Tyelko."

His face was still swollen and there were shadowy bruises under his eyes but he actually looked far better than Tyelko had expected. "Hey, man, I'm so sorry," Tyelko apologized. "Someone always gets an elbow or a fist in the wrong place when we play but the face hits really suck."

"No worries. It was actually a blast until this happened. Just make sure you put me on Maedhros' team next time, ok?" Turgon said.

"Next time you can pick your own team, Turgon, seriously. Just to make up for this time," Tyelko said earnestly.

Aredhel was standing at the top of the stairs. None of them had noticed her yet but she was actually gratified they hadn't. Watching Tyelko interact so easily with her family was soothing her far more than the pep talk she had given herself while she was getting ready.

She took a deep breath. This was between Fingon and Maedhros. And Fingon and her, if she was going to be candid about it. There was no reason to taint what she had with Tyelko with her concerns or with her own troubled memories.

"I certainly don't want to be on your team next time, Tyelko," she said as she came down the stairs, her heart beating faster as she saw Tyelko's face light up at the sound of her voice. He turned his head up to give her his sparkling gaze. "I still owe you an ass-whipping next time around." She flashed her own grin at him as she reached the bottom of the stairs, her hand darting out to lightly touch his forearm.

He shifted his arm to grasp her hand, his fingers interlacing with her own.

"Have fun, you two," Turgon said, with a wave of his hand as he moved off to the family room.

Aredhel went on tiptoe to kiss her father on the cheek. "I'll be back later," she said.

"Home by dinnertime," he admonished. "Your Mom's trying some new recipe tonight and she expects you all here."

"I'll have her home on time," Tyelko promised.

Fingolfin turned to him. "It was nice to meet you, Tyelko," he said, and then hesitated, his face taking on a more serious expression. "Tell your father I said hello."

"Will do!" Tyelko grinned again. "Hope you change your mind on sharing some of your stories sometime," he added with a wink.

Aredhel snorted. "Good luck with that. You forget what my dad does for a living. He's not big on 'disclosure.'"

Fingolfin rolled his eyes and shook his head as he watched them go out the door. He leaned against the wall, his eyes still on them. Tyelko seemed like a nice kid. He had lit up when Aredhel had made her appearance and Fingolfin had caught the answering regard in his daughter's face.

They had decided there was no good reason to leave the bed, now that Maglor was covering the bookstore shift. Languid and relaxed after their morning exertions they were content to hold each other close, gently exploring the bare skin beneath their fingertips, exchanging soft kisses that grew more heated with time.

Maedhros pulled back a few moments later, a crease on his forehead. "What?" Fingon asked, running his fingers along it to smooth it out. He had wanted to do just that since the first time he had seen it on Maedhros' face, months earlier.

"What about this Finno business? I've made it creepy now. I don't want to be thinking about your sister when I call you that."

"I don't want to be thinking about my sister either," Fingon said, smoothing his hand back from Maedhros' forehead to tangle in his hair. "I guess you'll just have to think of something on your own."

"Do you have a middle name or something?" Maedhros asked. He did not expect Fingon to look flustered again. "You do, don't you?" Maedhros half sat up, resting his head on his arm as he looked down at Fingon. "You know you have to tell me now."

"How did this suddenly get worse?" Fingon complained. He frowned at Maedhros. "Ok, I know you are going to laugh. It's what I get for having parents who married young and were too influenced by their college majors."

"I am utterly intrigued now, having been plagued by parents who married early and made some questionable decisions about their offsprings names as well," Maedhros replied, an amused look on his face.

"Did they give you names from an obscure, dead language?" Fingon questioned.

"Well, yes, as a matter of fact they did."

"What? Your name isn't some ridiculous Quenya relic!" Fingon argued.

"Well, no, Maedhros isn't. But my birth certificate has more than one name on it," Maedhros confided.

"Spill."

"I asked you first."

Fingon huffed in annoyance, crossed his arms over his chest and leveled a severe look at Maedhros.

"Fine. It's Nelyafinwë," Maedhros said.

"You're not serious."

"Would I make that up?" Maedhros answered. "Your turn."

"Findekanó," came the whispered response.

Maedhros couldn't help it. The laugh just bubbled out of him and he flopped back on the bed, giving himself up to the mirth.

Fingon sat up and leaned back on the headboard, giving him a stern look, arms crossed over his chest aggressively. "I never should have told you." He kicked Maedhros' leg under the covers. "They did it to all four of us. That's what I get for having a dad who majored in Classics and a mom who majored in Art History."

Maedhros had recovered himself and struggled to compose his features. "I'm not laughing at you."

"You could have fooled me."

"Guess what Maglor's Quenya name is."

"How am I supposed to guess that? I don't know any Quenya—just some bits and pieces, prefixes and suffixes I've picked up from listening to Finrod drone on about it."

"Ok, fine I'll tell you. His name is Kanafinwë." Maedhros looked up at him, suppressed mirth in his eyes and a grin on his face again.

"Ok?"

"Kanafinwe. Findekano." Maedhros raised his eyebrows. "You guys practically have the same name. Linguistically speaking."

Fingon just stared at him. This was just like Mom and Dad. That was something they would find just as amusing. He had not quite realized how well Maedhros was going to get along with his parents. He had charmed his mother already, that day at the bookstore, but Fingon hadn't really given much thought to all the interests he shared with his father.

"Oh." Fingon frowned down at him. "Won't it be all weird now, if my name is like your brother's?"

Maedhros shook his head. "No one uses that name, not even Mom and Dad." Maedhros scooted closer to Fingon and moved up the bed to rest his head on Fingon's shoulder and drape an arm across his chest. He regarded Fingon for a moment before speaking again. "Names don't matter. All I know is that I want you." His arm tightened and he reached up to catch Fingon's lips with his own, deepening the kiss as Fingon finally relaxed and slid down to meet his mouth.

"My Kanó," Maedhros whispered against his lips. Fingon shivered at the sound of his voice, aroused and intrigued by this new nickname. He definitely wanted to hear it again. He knew just how to make that happen, he thought, as his hands roamed lower, his lips trailing heat down Maedhros' body.

Fingon could get used to this.

"Kanó!"

Aredhel wrapped her hands around her coffee mug and leaned forward towards Tyelko. "I'm sorry about cancelling last night."

He shook his head. "I get it," he said. "It was kind of a fucked up day."

"No kidding."

"Turgon didn't look too bad," Tyelko said.

"Argon's been torturing him with the ice packs. It's helping with the swelling but it's sometimes a real pain in the ass having a little brother who's a wannabe doctor," Aredhel said.

"You'll be grateful someday, when you can just call him instead of going to a clinic to get things checked out," Tyelko said. He took a drink of his coffee and then looked at her, his face far more serious than it had been a moment before. "Listen, I'm really sorry things ended like that yesterday." He frowned and then continued. "I should have told Turgon not to try that with Maedhros. He doesn't do well getting confined like that." Tyelko looked uncomfortable as he spoke.

"Has that happened before?" Aredhel asked.

The look of discomfort on Tyelko's face intensified. "Listen I can't really talk about it. It's not my place to. But I can tell you Maedhros has had some rough times in the past and he's over it but they've left a mark on him, that's really all I can say." He shifted in his seat. "He's really not like that, you know. You've met him. He didn't mean to hurt Turgon—I hope you realize that."

Aredhel met his eyes. "I guess I do. I wasn't really sure what to think yesterday and I really don't like the idea of my brother being with someone that volatile."

Tyelko frowned at her. "He's not volatile," he said, his tone a little sharper than it had been previously. "Maedhros isn't like that at all. Turgon just startled him and he lashed out. That's all it is."

"If you say so."

Tyelko's frown deepened. "Listen, Aredhel. I don't quite know what you're getting at but Maedhros doesn't do stuff like that out of the blue. Turgon grabbing him just triggered something. He's got his reasons, and as I said, I'm not going to lay it all out for you. It's not my place." His eyes focused on hers intently. "Fingon's not in any danger, if that's what you're worried about. He knows there's a history there and he's fine with it."

"I guess I'll have to hear it from him to know that for sure," Aredhel said.

Tyelko looked frustrated. "You don't believe me then?"

It was Aredhel's turn to shift in her seat. "I'm not saying that."

"Then what are you saying?"

"That I'd like to hear directly from my brother that he's not concerned about this."

"You didn't talk to him about it yesterday? If you are so concerned? He was planning on meeting Maedhros out for dinner, you know." Tyelko said.

"I know that," Aredhel snapped. "That's why I didn't have a lot of time to talk to him about it."

"So you did talk to him about it," Tyelko persisted.

"I did. He said he wasn't concerned," Aredhel admitted.

"But you don't believe him?"

"I didn't say that." It was her turn to frown at Tyelko. This really wasn't going well. She had promised herself not to do this but here she was, doing it. This was between her and Fingon, Aredhel reminded herself. "Listen, I just want more than five minutes with him to hash this out." She sighed. "He's totally crazy about your brother and I really don't want him to get hurt. And I don't just mean physically."

"You think Maedhros isn't just as into him? He is. I've never seen him care about anyone like this. You haven't been around the two of them as much as I have, Aredhel, but I can tell you this—they're really good together. I mean it. I'm no expert but from where I sit this is the real deal." He reached across and took her hand in his. "I'm being completely serious. I've never seen my brother like this with anyone else and I've never been happier to see him like this. Your brother is amazing with him and I'm so grateful he's part of Maedhros' life."

"You really mean that," Aredhel said, tilting her head as she studied Tyelko.

"I do. I've hoped he'd find something like this but I was skeptical it would happen. But it's not just Maedhros. Talk to Fingon. I think you'll see he feels the same way. Maedhros is one of the most caring, conscientious, kind people l know. I don't tell him often enough but he's been the best older brother to me and the rest of my brothers."

Tyelko sighed. "Things weren't easy for any on us for awhile but Maedhros always made sure we were ok—no matter how crappy things were with Mom and Dad—he was always there for us." He looked at her and squeezed her hand. "I couldn't ask for a better brother and Fingon's lucky to have him. Just as Maedhros is fortunate to have Fingon."

She squeezed back. "I'll talk to him. I feel better talking to you about it." She hesitated, looked down at her coffee and gripped the mug tighter. "I didn't mean to do this to you. I told myself I'd hash it out with Fingon and wouldn't put you in the middle of it."

"Hey," Tyelko said. She looked up at him and was gratified to see a soft, fond look on his face. "You needed to talk about it. I could tell something was bothering you and I assumed it was probably this." He leaned forward. "I love my brother. I trust my brother. I would never lie to you about that. I care about you and respect you too much for that." He reached out and took her other hand. "I don't want this to get in the way of what I've got with you but I can't let you think about Maedhros that way and not say anything."

She squeezed back and then gave a short laugh. "I'd be doing the same thing for Fingon, if things were the other way around. I get it."

"We're ok then? You and me?" There was a look of concern in his eyes that made her stomach clench. Had she really made him doubt that?

She laced her fingers into his. "We are more than ok," she whispered then scooted her chair closer to his. "More than ok," she repeated and leaned in to kiss him.

He sighed into the kiss as he returned it and she felt the tension drain out of him. He pulled back a little, pressed his forehead to hers and looked deep into her eyes. "You mean a lot to me, Aredhel," he said. "You really do. I said I haven't seen Maedhros like this before . . ." he paused and closed his eyes tightly for a moment before opening them and continuing. "But I haven't felt this way about anyone before myself and I don't want to mess this up."

Her lips curved into a smile as she leaned in to kiss him again. "You aren't messing anything up," she said, her lips brushing his as she spoke.

My sincerest apologies to Maglor for the incredibly crappy lyrics I saddled him with at the start of this chapter. He's having a bit of writers block at the moment. The person writing him isn't helping him much either

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