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This is absolutely lovely. It seems entirely realistic that in the absence of Feanor and his sons, some of those left behind in Valinor would seek to blame Nerdanel and that she might even seek to blame herself. I like the realization that her children made their own choices and that she's strong enough to continue living. Really, really lovely!

History, even in my family sadly enough, has shown that those who are left behind are the first victims to blame when something goes wrong. I think especially the period after the first kinslaying has happened, the emotions of the victims were immensely raw. To me I think that she as a mother would first seek the blame for all of it by herself, as if she missed something crucial during the upbringing of their sons (trust me, I sometimes have that feeling). But her sons are grown ups now, although I do envision that parents and children share a bond, but in order to move on, a sacrifice has to be made...

Thanks for your wonderful review!

Oh Rhaps! This is so beautifully written! I was very much looking forward to reading your new story and this was so worth the wait. I love the emotions you portray in this. They feel so real, and the shift between her doubts, her fears, and finally determination. For a moment there I was scared she would actually jump!This is amazing work. You haven't lost you touch in the least! "huggles and snuggles".

Hi Lady Roisin, I am so happy that I managed to give Nerdanel a different feel than in the book, more like a 'normal' woman like me and you, dealing with fears, pain and worry as we would. Yet she remains the wise woman she is, however we can't just be strong all the time. That was one of my aims with this piece. There is a tad more backstory as to the why she would never jump, it just takes a bit more before she can let her sons go to focus on others who need her very muchly. Now finding the time to write that short story! Thanks for your wonderful review, I am so happy you liked it and that in a way you could connect to her!

Just want to put my LJ review here:

Very moving and emotional. The words you have used just paint pictures in my head. She is one of the saddest characters in the book--how forsaken she must have felt when they left her.

My favorite part:
As the years went by, voices resounded through the hallway with quick footfalls, urgency betraying their mischief. Their voices upon being caught, a father’s voice booming, trailing behind them with that surety of thunder following the lightning... All of them were born to lead this rebellion.

I could so imagine to see Celegorm running like that and then his dad going like: Turkafinwë Tyelkormo Fëanorion get back here! In the mean time Caranthir is sniggering as well because he took part as well. :D The contrast from a busy home to a silent one must have been huge for her.

And thanks for telling me at two places how much you loved it! *hugs*

I should not have mentioned yesterday that I wanted to read this after lunch. Not too long after, my coworker came in with a stack of warrants for me, and the day conspired ever after against having any time for fun. Booo! I should know better. :)

This piece is so intense and evocative ... it is hard to know where to begin with what I enjoyed about it. (Although "enjoyed" is a tricksy word here and hard to imagine jiving with such an emotional piece! :) Let's see, the untamed adoration for their father ... I love this! What a beautiful way to put it! It suggests, to me, a certain wildness from the start, something that defies control ... but at the same time, it feels natural, as though it must need be that way. I have in my mind's eye a wild tangle of brambles--untamed--that grow that way because they must. And so the Feanarions became that way because they must. (Yes, I got all of that from one word! :)

Likewise, "the cold sheets of her bed": this stands in such contrast to the preceding paragraph and definitely shows such a sense of loss and loneliness. It is one of those sharp details that says so much.

I love how you show her reaction at the end. That her revelation comes as she kneels to the earth seems just perfect to me, like she is coming out of dream and delusion and re-establishing a connection with the world. This is underscored with those final lines, when I feel somehow that Nerdanel has a lot ahead of her. And that makes me very happy. :) It seems, sometimes, in Silmfic, that Nerdanel as a character is defined by her role in the lives of her sons and husband before the rebellion, and then she is a character who embodies loss and is owned by that. Of course, this is what JRRT has given us to work with, but I love that you've given her something more here, the chance to establish an identity and become something beyond what her husband and sons have made her. Beautiful work, Rhapsody. I'm so glad you got the chance to write this. :)

This is very emotional, nearly heart-breaking. I said nearly, because this piece also gives hope. I think that the saddest thing about Nerdanel is that she grieved her lost husband and children, but also was very unsure as to what would happen if she saw them again. How could she face them again, knowing all she knew and feeling the blame (and shame) for their doings upon herself. I'm very glad to see that you have made her realize that she wasn't responsible for what they did. Her reaction to that relief is very believable and most poignant.

Thank you for sharing! :)

Thanks Binka for this wonderful review. I think Moms will always feel responsible for those who once depended on her in the past and the fact that none of the seven wanted to stay and follow their dad like that, I hope I managed to convey that in this piece how Nerdanel found peace with that at last. I think she now deserves more happiness! *nidges a muse*

I'll echo what Darth said in his picking session  -  your characteristically lyrical prose reads like a poem.  Nerdanel's introspection is intense and carries a realism to it, not just a figure from myth, but a real woman, ruminating over her loss and facing those around her who will (unjustifiably) blame her.  She seems to second guess herself here..."If I had only done more" in essence.  So much like any one of us.  Yet at the end, she comes to a resolution and takes the first step toward healing.

A lovely piece, Rhapsy, and it is so good to see you "back in the saddle." :^)

Oh, and I loved the "Mistress of Death" reference from BoLT1!

The language is wonderful. I agree with others who have emphasized this. The story is a lovely balance between loss and hope. I always think that the period Feanor's exile in Formenos without Nerdanel must have been a preparation for her losing him and their sons when they left Aman, but then nothing really could be. It all becomes so much more final. But in a real sense she had already made her choice; your vignette underlines her realization of that.