The Captive by Glorified

Chapter 1. A Courtly Matter

When she went to Tirion that day she had only gone to see what everyone was talking about.  She stood with all the other onlookers expecting a sham of a trial and found herself unexpectantly with a reluctant house guest.  She could not have foretold the train of events that would be put into place by her decision that day and how her life and those around her would change. 

Read Chapter 1. A Courtly Matter

Chapter 1. A Courtly Matter.

 

In all honesty I could have said no, and part of me did consider the idea of simply walking quietly away. I was standing at the back of the crowd and it would have been easy for me to do so and slip away unnoticed.

 

Why did I do it I’m not entirely sure? Perhaps I was curious along with all the other mawkish on lookers. Perhaps a loyalty to others whom I knew would be desirously interested in the outcome today.

 

But in truth I knew too what it was to be an outcast albeit not for such heinous crimes or any crimes at all actually, just being who I was. When your corporeal nature does not fit in with the consensus around you tend to get shunned and marginalised. I have always felt the unease of those around me, not quite disseminating what was different about me but sensing enough to steer clear, elf and mortal alike.

 

I was as much a conundrum as he was standing up there at before the dais, shackled and chained waiting for the inevitable. They would throw away the key I knew that. No matter who spoke up for him and I knew one who wanted to but he was forbidden to do so. All these thoughts ran through my mind when without any conscious realisation on my part I found myself easing towards the front where the elders stood and saying,

 

“I will take him”.

 

My voice sounded thin and I felt disembodied from it.

 

“I have a garden that needs landscaping”, I continued as a way of explanation.

 

Here in the splendour of Finarfin’s court I sounded bizarrely pedestrian; a pearlescent display of delicate dawn hues and glittering gold bejewelled occupants who turned and tilted their beautiful mantled heads as one with their with King in my direction; the rustle of stiff brocades and swishing of gossamer silks accompanying them like eddies from a stone thrown into a pond.

 

Finarfin stood looking at me as if I was slightly mad and if he was struggling to comprehend what landscaping a garden was. He looked utterly discombobulated as if his usual refined ordered world had been turned on its axis, and he was struggling to identify who or what had done so.

 

I the strange creature in front of him in a dusty artisan smock and sandals shrugged my shoulders and pulled my mouth up at the corners in a comic display that was utterly lost on Finarfin’s hubris and standing.

 

He came towards me peering down from his height on the dais, he was spectacularly gold from his silken hair that hung down in rivulets to his knees to his crown and mantle that embodied kingship and authority to the lightly tanned skin that was beginning to take on a rose gold hue through the light that was now shining in long shards through the halls windows.

 

There was a flurry of quick verbal parrying between the elders behind him. Finarfin went as if to say something to me but seemed to change his mind, and beckoned to his herald, he whispered something and the herald in a flourish walked towards me and proclaimed that I should wait as the king and his advisors would now debate my offer. The group of dignitaries withdrew to rooms unseen beyond the dais.

 

Unsure what to do I waited where I was. I could hear as all around there began a low murmur of many voices no doubt discussing what I am sure they thought was my preposterous proposal.

 

He stood waiting also a forlorn figure to the side of me, with his eyes downcast and his long dark hair shielding his face from onlookers, his hands and feet shackled in heavy chains. His clothing was in stark contrast to the splendour around him, he was wearing a thin crumpled tunic of faded home spun hemp and cotton, and breeches that were an uneven length and fraying at the bottom revealing no proper shoes but pieces of leather caught by throngs of leather and tied in a mishmash fashion so that they stayed on his feet. I could see his from his stooped frame he was muscular but rather on the thin side.

 

Two guards liveried in Finfarfin’s colours and heavy armour and weaponry stood to attention either side of him. An overly dramatic spectacle staged for the incumbent court no doubt.

 

I wondered how long Finarfin and his lackeys would be, I knew they would be keen to accept my offer amid the awkward murmurs of retribution and compensation, out of sight surely was out of mind? He would still be under curfew but free to roam with my gainsay in a five mile radius.

 

I was doing this for my friend I told myself, although my heart did beat a bit faster at the thought of what I was getting myself into. Already marginalised and not thought of as part of polite society I was more than happy to keep to my small homestead by the sea. However, what other repercussions would there be for me? Olwe’s court who I relied on for my business would surely baulk at my choice of house guest.

 

The swoosh of the court as they turned as one to the dais at the front of the long hall stopped me in the musings of my actions and their possible ramifications. After a long dramatic pause Finarfin looking directly at me and then nodded acquiescence with a dismissal of his head. The guards immediately undid the shackles and they fell with a clang.

 

I wasn’t sure what to do but knew someone would correct me if I didn’t follow court etiquette so I just turned to walk away hoping he would follow. I hesitated momentarily so that he would understand, which he did and lurched forward in an uncharacteristic Elvish stumble as if he were an automaton being wound up into activity.

 

We walked through the crowd with every eye upon us and out through the white gleaming city with its golden minaret capped towers and along dusty highways iridescent with gems. It was until we got far beyond the city walls and spying eyes that I stopped and spoke to him.

 

“You can walk with me, if you want to, you don’t have to stay behind” I said. We had a long work back to the inn which would sequester us for the night, and then another long journey to my homestead.

 

Two days travel in all and I hoped we could cadge a lift from one of the merchants who was going in our direction the next day even if it was half way it would help my sore back and feet.

 

At the inn we ate in silence, he seemed sullen, embarrassed even, I wondered why? Perhaps he was not use to such simple lowly fare or company. We had small single rooms at the lower level of the inn at the back, and I listened to the maids gossiping outside,

 

“Wasn’t that him? I’m sure it was, you know the one they had up in Tirion?”

“Even if it is, it’s none of our business”

“He’s handsome though isn’t he”.

They left tittering with laughter and high spirits, it took very little speculation on my part to know to whom they were referring.

 

The next day we we found a lift to three miles short of the homestead, still in a sullen mood he said nothing to me the whole way there but lifted all the baggage into the back of the cart without a hesitation or asking. At least he had some manners I thought.

 

I thanked the cart owner profusely and went to give him coin for his inconvenience but he would hear nothing of it and waved my gesture away saying that it was nothing.

 

As we we walked I talked to him about the piece of land I wanted landscaping into a garden. Still keeping his eyes down cast he nodded. I had acquired the small farm with several acres to keep myself and my horse. The house was small but the garden was all but grown to meadow bordered by small stone out buildings and a wall that curved around the outer rim.

 

I told him that he could stay in them, and I hoped he didn’t mind that there was only an outside shower and no heating but we could sort something out when the season changed if he felt the cold.

 

As I spoke he simply nodded at what I was proposing yet I could see him casting furtive glances up at me with his soulful grey eyes. Whenever I turned to him he would drop his gaze, yet I knew he was wondering about me as much as I was wondering about him.

 

There was cut below his left eye which was healing with a yellowing bruise and purple bruising on his knuckles and two of the fingers looked as if they had been broken and badly set. I wondered how he had come such injuries perhaps the zealousness of the prison guards? Grievances ran deep.

 

However, for all his thread bare clothes and bruised estate he could not be mistaken for anything less than he was with his pale sombre Noldarian beauty.

 

We arrived a the farm stead and the shrill whinny of my Mearas stallion caught on the wind as he flew over the hill top in the distance towards me. After much cajoling and petting on both sides he returned to grazing and I turned to my reluctant guest abashed at him witnessing our fervent display when he spoke his first words to me.

 

“He holds your heart, and you his”, I nodded unable to think of anything to add to his adroit and truthful statement.

 

I motioned for him to follow me through the arched gateway walked across the lawn now seeded high in meadow flowers to the ramshackle buildings which were to be his residence.

After showing him where everything was I said he was welcome to eat with me in the farm house and told him dinner would be at six and left him to his accommodation.

 

I cooked just soup, lentils, vegetables and potatoes with some saffron seasoning, placed some rough hewn chunks of bread with butter on the table, and sat down with a glass of wine and wondered just what I had done.

 

As I mused there came a timid knock on the door and I said come in.

He’d washed and his long dark was hair was unravelled and wet around his face and he looked slightly flushed. He looked younger than he had earlier with his hair loose around his shoulders. As I looked at him he touched it self consciously. I noticed there were wet splotches on his tunic and breeches.

 

I’d hoped he’d found the towels. I caught a faint whiff of lavender and thought at least he’s found the soap.

 

“Please sit down”, I said as I got up to serve the soup.

 

He looked awkward as I placed the soup tureen on the table and then and told him to help himself. He declined the wine and I felt a tad louche drinking it to myself. I racked my mind as to what to say to put him at ease.

 

I prattled on about the garden instead, and my ideas for it. He nodded politely and said quietly,

 

“I can begin tomorrow, if you wish”,

 

“Yes, yes”, I said there were tools behind the small outhouse and I could go into to the village tomorrow and get some more and anything thing else he thought he would need if he could let me know.

 

He nodded and went to stand up and leave.

 

“Please, please” I said. I was a bit lost for words yet so wanted to say something to ease him.

“Please take the wine”. I foisted the unfinished half bottle on the table with a wine glass into his hands, he looked startled but to took them with a dignified grace and bow of his head. It might help you sleep I said as by way of explanation. He nodded again, his gaze curious and hesitant and then turned and left.

 

Later that night as I lay in my bed I mused on the day’s events and my new house guest. He was beautiful, I had to admit that, an angular jaw with high cheek bones and a slim strong nose. His skin had an ethereal transparency to it and he bore himself when he thought he wasn’t being observed with a regal and assured manner, his long stride measured and authoritative. But it was his eyes which intrigued me they hid and yet revealed so much of his long displaced history:

 

Was it a misplaced loyalty and gratitude to his foster son that had swayed my mind that afternoon, after all he had bequeathed me this place I now lived in? Perhaps? But I knew myself what it was to be discriminated against and turned from and I knew I could not mete that same measure out to another no matter how awful their crimes.

 

I saw the flicker of a small candle he must have found from across the yard and I realised I had not even asked him what he wished to be called. Maglor Feanorian he was of old but now perhaps he went by another name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2. Foster Son

As her house guest settles in Ella realises that she does not  much about his history and background and hopes to glean information from his foster son who is due to visit shortly.  What she finds out is a little unsettling and makes her realise how very little she understands of Elvish or mortal predilections and needs.  But how much should she reveal of her own history and its peculiarities ?

Read Chapter 2. Foster Son

Chapter 2 : Foster son

 

It was less than a week before he came. I had sent a carrier pigeon the day after I had arrived back telling him of my unexpected visitor. His message back was brief and succinct . “I will be there”. As it was he came two days later.

 

My charge as he had once been his was away on the beach looking for drift wood for my sculptures. Strong arms were held out towards me in my kitchen and I threw myself into a tactile embrace. We rocked to and fro a few moments both of us savouring our genuine geniality towards one another and long friendship.

“He is well? He has settled?”, he asked pensively.

“Yes”, I nodded

“I am so grateful”,

I smiled warmly, “I know you love him”,

Grey eyes glistening with tears that threatened to tip over their rim. I squeezed his hands.

“I have bought him new clothes, really some of my old ones”,

“Oh that will be good its getting a bit embarrassing, his shirt is barely covering his midline now its getting so tattered”,

“He’s very polite isn’t he?” I ventured

I thought of him trying to modestly cover his lean muscled chest and torso when I came out to bring him a drink or food when he was working. I averted my eyes to spare his modesty but I felt a strange abashment at the display of masculine nakedness.

“He is, was a prince”, Elrond corrected himself,

“Yes with courtly manners, like yourself”,

“They, he, taught us, me, well!”

I caught the change of plurality to the singular and changed the subject.

 

“How is your house hold?”, I was careful not to say family, none of his had sailed and the healing he had hoped for in Aman for his wife had not entirely been realised.

“All well he said a bit too brightly”,

“And Cel?”,

“Yes!”,

“Is she still set on going to join her relatives in Tirion?”,

“She thinks time away will help”

You mean apart I thought. I gripped his arm sympathetically and said no more on the matter conversant that once more the conversation was tipping into subjects that were unresolved and painful for him.

“Is there anything I should know about him, my house guest?” I asked,

“Only that he will honour you that you have given him a roof over his head when no other would or could”,

I knew Elrond would have given him refuge but he had an entire household that had sailed seeking his shelter and Lordship and among them there were loyal retainers who would balk at the presence of a kin slayer amongst them to say the least.

“I thought I heard he had a wife, did she go with to Endore?” I asked conversationally.

“No she petitioned for an annulment here”,

“Oh I said I didn’t know that was possible”,

“Technically it isn’t but he broke their vows by going to Endore against the Valar’s command and what with the oath and the kin slaying he was as good as dead to her”,

“So given the circumstances they looked more favourably, and granted her petition”

“It must have been a lonely life for him I said, I mean outlawed and always on the run all his family dead?”,

“Yes just him and Maedhros and in the end just him alone. But they found comfort where they could”

“Oh” I said not entirely understanding.

Elrond looked at me a little guiltily as if he had said too much and was now assessing whether or not to continue.

“Say it I said, better I know”, I said

“All times bring their own contingencies to bear on the succour of our needs, the Feanorians of old kept, if not their virtue, their silence in finding such comforts. Living so closely together, the sounds of release and passion are difficult to hide, locked doors were sometimes left open, and they were not as discrete as they thought. My childish eyes saw not censor or wrong, I loved them both. I saw them once sleeping together he held Maedhros in his arms, their faces looked so peaceful. I did not begrudge them”,

“So his passions are that way inclined?”

“No I do not think so but scarcity dictates.

“Oh I see” I said not sure how to reply, I sat silently thinking of how war and strife could dictate such things. Discrimination and revilement I had known but not being prey to dictates of form in that way I had been untroubled by such physical desires, although truth to say I had never really understood the need of them. I had experimented but found the act undesirable, mechanical even, not understanding its emotional pull on more earth bound inhabitants.

I did another volte face in our conversation and said,

“There another problem. I’m not sure what to call him?”

“What do you call him now?”

“Well nothing really, we’ve really not got that far”,

“I called him father and still do!”,

“Well that wouldn't really be appropriate”, I laughed and rolled my eyes.

“Has he an eppesse or something?”,

“His mother called him ‘Makalaure’ ‘Gold Cleaver’ for his voice”,

“Ah! bit long winded though and personal!”,

“His father name was Kanofinwe shortened to Kano”

“Kano then, would he mind that? He wouldn’t think it presumptive of me?”,

“Probably as they were only used by close kin”,

“So its heh you captive or slave then”,

Hummph! The peredhil rolled his eyes at my dry humour.

“But what of you?”,

“Me?”,

“Well how long are you going to assume this form?”,

“A long time I think I said quietly”

“You are getting use to it?”,

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Well perhaps you could adopt something that is appropriate then”,

“You liked Firiella before, It suited you”,

“It made me sound like a whimish wet elleth” ,

Elrond chortled merrily, “That you never were”,

“What about Ella?”,

“Bit better I suppose”,

“Hmmph!!”, I hummed, “I’ll think about it. Er do we say anything about me?”, I asked,

Elrond crooked one eyebrow at me, “Perhaps in time if necessary, but I think things are complicated enough”,

“Oh, Oh I think he is here”, I exclaimed cutting our conversation short. “He’s gone to the out buildings, I can see a light there”, I said as I peered out of the window.

“Go to him, go to him, I will bring you supper out on a tray in a bit and you can stay and talk to him”, I flapped at Elrond with my hands and he laughed merrily at my flustering.

“Thank you” he said more seriously,

I nodded in acknowledgement.

“I know you must want to see him alone with out me there, I take no offence”, I kissed him lightly on the cheek and he squeezed my hand before turning and stepping out into the garden.

 

When I went out to them later with a tray piled high with bread, cheeses, pickles and condiments, a a obligatory bottle of wine I found them deep in conversation, sprawled on cushions and blankets on the floor. They had lit the hurricane lamps and they cast a warm glow in the small space. They were already drinking wine which Elrond had procured from some where and my house guest was more relaxed and animated than I had ever seen him. He lay back propped on a pillow with one leg drawn up and his arm out stretched over it holding a tipping glass of wine. His other leg lay splayed out wide in front of him, the soft boots wrapping up around his thigh and the prominent muscle. The gauzed veil I had been seeing him through was completely dropped and caught unawares he looked every bit the privileged leisured second son of the house of Feanor I thought. They stopped speaking when I entered and Elrond turned and tried to persuade me to remain and take a glass with them but I declined. Maglor looked at me suddenly pensive, the veil beginning to be drawn back, yet there was gratefulness and warmth in his eyes. I nodded in deference to both of them before I turned and walked back towards the kitchen.

 

Later as I lay in my bed I wondered that night at how long they had known one another and what strange and vivid memories they must have shared. The candles in the hurricane lamps burnt low and my guest were still in deep conversation long after I had fallen asleep and the dawn ghosted the horizon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 3: What’s in a name?

Ella and Maglor get to know one another a bit better and have their first altercation and Ella realises the Elvish protocols for naming are rather more conventional than she had realised and inadvertently over steps a mark with her house guest and feels the wrath of Feanorian pride.  Embarrassed and frightened she unexpectantly gets an apology and gets an insight into Maglor's fractures and hurts and begins to sense within herself a strange pull and growing impulse towards him.

Read Chapter 3: What’s in a name?

Chapter 3: What’s in a name?

 

I yawned I had slept late, the sun was already well up in the sky and I lay indolently lolling my foot out of the bed in the cool air thinking about getting up listening to a strange thud thwack sound coming from outside. What could be making that sound I wondered? I listened for a while trying to make out its rhythmical cadence. It was someone digging I realised and the clods of earth were the thudding sound and the thwack were the spade being struck into the earth.

 

Maglor I thought or Kano as I had named him, he was keen, that was for sure, My head hurt, I was an inept drinker and could not keep steady on my feet after two glasses. I should get up I thought and offer him breakfast at least.

 

I blinked in the bright sunshine, and gestured for him to come into the kitchen,

As usual he downed his over shirt and walked in, “I’m sorry I said its late I’m usually an early riser, but the late night and”, I let my explanation dwindle as I watched him wolf down the food I had prepared. He was thirstily gulping down his second glass of milk as I watched his Adams apple bobble up and down when I asked.

“Elrond ?”

“He went just after dawn, he will be back before the end of the week”.

He hungrily took a thick slice of bread with honey and butter I had thickly slavered on it.

As I prepared him another one he took it and thanked me and was out the door to return to his digging. I watched as he broke the bread off in chunks and licked the honey of his fingers before stripping off his shirt and returning to his work. I watched the muscles of his back ripple and bulge as he bent over and I broke myself away from my gaze perturbed at my sudden fixation.

 

Later that day we were walking towards the village to collect supplies for the garden and house and I decided to broach the subject of names. “Elrond tells me that you use your father name as an eppesse?”,

He said nothing only shooting me a dark furtive look.

I began again, “Its just that, well…. we …. we need to call one another something”,

Silence.

“You could call me Ella” I ventured,

“That is your name?”

“One of them”,

“It means?” he asked,

“It means high maiden or fairy maiden”, I said quietly,

“He quirked an eyebrow and I was sure there was a faint glimmer of amusement on his lips”,

“If you wish, Ella” he emphasised the last vowel.

“And you?” I asked seizing my opportunity!

“My brothers used my father name but it has been a long time since anyone called me by it”

“Kano is it I?” I asked,

He stopped and nodded looking me up and down as if assaying me over something,

“Then I will call you that if that is your wish”, he nodded imperceptibly barely acknowledging me and continued walking.

 

We collected the goods from the village and the tradesman loaned us a small cart to carry the things in which Maglor or Kano used to pull along the road after us. I realised I was still uncomfortable with what to call him, he had hardly been enthusiastic over my suggestion, actually down right scathing if his icy look had been anything to go by. It seemed even though he had agreed he was not accepting with my proposal of name for him.

When he came to the house for supper later that day I put things to the test. He had got use to helping me set the table and serve the food and as we sat down I said,

“You don’t like Kano do you?”,

He looked directly at me fixing with a hard stare, his eyes shining with a metallic glint,

“Ella he responded, you may call me what you wish this is your house”,

I felt chastised although he had said nothing to admonish me.

“Forgive me I did not mean to offend”,

He said nothing and began eating his food.

I felt flustered by his silence.

“I, I”….. I began,

The chair screeched as a he dragged it back across the floor and stood abruptly up, he placed his plate with half eaten food on it with a clatter into the sink and was out of the door and striding across the yard before I could blink.

Damn I thought me and my big mouth, why couldn’t I just have left it!

I left him alone that night and in the morning he resumed his work digging in the garden.

 

We said nothing about our altercation until a week later when I went to collect the drift wood he had piled for me in his rooms.

“These look really beautiful”, I enthused, as I picked my way through the piles of whitened gnarled branches,

My back was turned towards him and when he came up behind me I turned to find him close, his face looking down on me, I could hear my breathing becoming laboured at his proximity. If he was doing this to intimidate me he was certainly succeeding. He placed a hand on the wall behind me and fixed me me with his eyes,

“Maglor, you can call me Maglor”,

He watched my lips as I mouthed “Maglor, then louder Maglor, yes if you wish”,

“Thank you Ella”, he said then turned from me and sat down to resume mending something.

I stood feeling like a naive school girl who had been dismissed by her tutors rather than the mistress of her own house. I walked away as dignified as I could feeling his eyes on my back following my steps.

 

“It’s really not working”,

“You and he?”,

I rolled my eyes,“Well who else did you think I meant?”,

The Peredhil laughed at me trying to lighten my mood

“I know he can be dour sometimes”,

“To be honest he frightens me a little sometimes, we had an argument about his name and he stormed off and then a week later he came up behind me and right up in my face told me he wanted to be called Maglor”,

“Well at least you know now!”,

“Its more than that though, I don’t think I could ever be easy with him like you and he are”,

The Peredhil looked at me enquiringly,

“You have so much shared history, understandings”,

“Give it time”,

We reached the sand dunes at the top of the beach and helter skeltered down their long inclines to the reach the water edge. We took off our boots and as we walked through the turquoise lacy ebb and flow of the tide, I sighed enjoying the crystalline sand rushing between my toes and the cool feeling of the flowing water. We walked for a while in companionable silence.

“I think he is finding it difficult”,

I thought of the way in which he way he carefully cleaned and put the garden tools away. The way he kept his rooms meticulously, everything folded, set away. The way he kept our conversation clipped and with certain protocols never sharing any personal insights. Everything, everything was gauged to my reaction.

“I mean being free but not really being free. Under curfew as it were. I don’t want him feeling beholden to me” ,

“You will not hurt his pride, Feanorian pride is indissoluble, it comes naturally born of birth and breeding and no circumstance can eradicate it”,

“Yes I’ve seen how he walks” I laughed,

“He walks?”,

“Oh you know when he thinks I am not looking, like a Prince, a Lord, self determined, proud, and assured”,

Elrond nodded smiling,

“What of his brothers, mother?”

“Nothing!, nothing I have heard of anyway”,

“How could they stay away and allow a stranger to give him a home!”

Noldorian politics are difficult and it maybe that there are circumstances that we do not understand.

“Phooey!”

The Peredhil laughed at my outburst.

Is there anyway of helping him more?”

“I think he needs what you are giving him now, the solace and anonymity of a quiet existence”,

 

Maglor was away cross the meadows when we walked back there mending fencing which had come down in the storm a few days earlier.

“I will go and take my leave of him”, I nodded.

“Give my regards to Cel”, I said.

I returned to the kitchen to begin dinner.

 

Later when we were sat down for our evening meal I watched him as he ate, he looked up suddenly and my gaze stuttered, I cleared my throat asking him if he wanted more wine. He stayed my hand as I went to reach for the jug knowing I found it rather too large for my small hands. I found my self looking at his as he poured; the muscles under his forearm flexed and relaxed as his long sinewed fingers gripped the handle. Elrond had done a good job of re setting the bones in his two crooked fingers and Maglor had decried anytime off as they set using his other hand for tasks. He pushed the glass to me looking at me enquiringly. I kept my eyes down cast, I looked up to find him looking straight back at me, relaxed now his chair pushed back from the table his long legs stretched out in front of him and arms crossed as he took long swills of the liquid. His look was one of appraisal but also concern.

 

I got up and begin the clearing up and he accompanied me taking the dishes over to my large stone sink. He had taken to helping me clear away. I washed, he wiped. We usually talked in a companionable way and chatted about the days events and what work need doing the next day. I was elbow deep in warm soapy water as he stood by my side taking the plates from my hand and wiping them when I notice his hands stop wiping the plate he was holding. He placed it down carefully and splayed his long fingers evenly over the wooden counter.

“Ella”, he said my name softly yet clearly intonating every syllable and consonant. “There, is something I wanted to speak to you about”,

I stood still my hands in the warm soapy water my eyes fixated on the iridescent way the soapy bubbles caught the dipping sun and reflected a kaleidoscope of hues wondering what could have caused this sudden alteration in mood?

“I am sorry”, he stated simply,

I scrabbled about in my brain to think what exactly he was sorry for? Apart from treating me with no deference like I was some sort of servant, which I accepted came naturally to him, I struggled to see the offence. I pulled my hands out of the warm soapy water and watched as the as the bubbles slurped and swilled about. Wiping my hands dry on my apron I turned to meet the bright gaze I knew was focused on me. His expression looked like I had never seen it before, earnest and open, the veil fallen and the pain showing through. The last beams of the sun caught his iris’s making them translucent like shining orbs of water.

“Do not feel”, he continued, “that I do not acknowledge the cost to yourself for taking me in, that I do not know what will be said and the slur on your good character by association with myself. I know, he paused,……. after being so abrupt and throwing my food away, the other day …… my temper was inadmissible after your kindnesses to me”,

“Its alright I said, really I take no offence”,

“But you should do”, he admonished,

I shook my head, looking down.

“Did Elrond speak to you?” I asked.

He hesitated, “Yes he did”,

“He said you were scared , that I had scared you…… I am sorry Ella”, he said softly….”sometimes my expression in my attitude and dealings with others is a little unskilled, abrupt …..it shall not be in the future”,

I nodded in acknowledgement.

“I will need to retire to my bed now”,

He walked to the door, and I after him to lock up, although there was really no need. As he went through the doorway he turned and looked down at me he was very close and I suddenly felt very small against his tall lean and muscled build. I caught his breath, the fumes from the alcohol across my cheek and the smell of the sweetness and cleanness of lavender and moss

“I hope you sleep well”, Ella, he said softly, then he was gone striding towards the low out buildings.

Afterwards, I stood with my back against the door breathing heavily my heart was thudding in my chest, my mind full of implications, wondering what exactly Elrond had said for me to receive such an apology. I went to bed to find my slumber but tossed and turned until the sky blushed pink and I fell asleep exhausted and woke late again.

Chapter 4. A Matter of Defamation.

Ella and Maglor settle down into more sociable relations until one morning they wake to a disaster and realise  exactly what prejudices they will have to face given the taboos of the culture around them. A line has been crossed  not only with the world outside but between themselves.   Ella struggles to comprehend and accept the internal struggles that have erupted within her from this event. 

Read Chapter 4. A Matter of Defamation.

Chapter 4. A Matter of Defamation.

 

After that things seemed to settle between into a more comfortable mien between us I no longer bridled at his high handedness and he softened his demeanour some what. I would catch him smiling at my silly jokes and he was not so abrupt in his speech towards me.

 

“Why do you make them, out of drift wood he asked as we sat down to a very late come early breakfast, lunch one day”,

He cast a desultory nod to my sculptures outside without looking at me.

“I like the way the elements shape them, and the excitement of finding a shape that just fits”

“But they will not last they will crack and dry out”,

“They are like nature, they are for a time and season”,

“My mother was a sculptor, but she used more durable materials, stone and marble, why do you not use such?”,

I was shocked, caught off guard by this admission, the first time he had ever proffered any information about his family,

Emboldened by this I said, “I use what I find impassions me, what calls to me, each material has its own energy, and the sea offers them to me I feel”,

“Stone, and minerals have their own energy also”, he countered,

“Yes indeed”, I proffered, encouraged by how well the conversation was going.

“Their energy is more static and set, denser, they have lain asleep for millennium until unearthed by a craftsman's hands. But the driftwood I use is for more lyrical immediate subjects and topics, animals, birds, in flight, horses galloping, a deer or stag jumping”,

“My mother sculpted us all and she would have set us all as statues in her garden, if she could”,

“Sculptures can be about remembrance and likeness but also about more ephemeral qualities such as movement and dance I broached”,

“But to combine the qualities of all those elements and energies, light and earth, water and stone into one is” ….. he trailed off,

I knew what he alluded to.

I had never thought of the Nolder as artists till then, craftsmen, artisans, builders yes, but I realised in that moment their supreme craftsmanship had been woven through with a desire to capture and distil the beauty they found in nature.

“And you what is your art Maglor?”,

He looked at me sternly

“My voice or so they say”,

“And will I ever get to hear it?”, I asked and I immediately knew I had over stepped the mark, as he said perfunctorily,

“Maybe”, as he abruptly got up and strode out to the garden to continue his work.

Yet however, I saw this day as a triumph because, this was the first time he had ever divulged any thing of his past to me and I knew its small hidden messages would keep me thinking and mauling it around in my head for many days.

 

 

A few weeks later, A commotion woke me coming from the meadow of hooves thundering and the old donkey braying wildly I got up and hurriedly put on my dressing gown and out door boots before unlatching the door, the archway doors were ajar which was strange as they were always locked at night but it was the site directly in front of me that caught my breath. The raised beds Maglor had worked so hard upon were upended and the soil in them tipped out and the flowers ripped out and flung about every where. But worse there were ugly bright words painted in long scrawls and graphic drawings across the upturned beds; the words were obscene the accompanying images gross and base in nature. I felt my self go hot and cold and started to shake in shock. At that moment Maglor came running through the open archways out of breath, he saw me, and then looked at the upturned beds and then back at me with an alarmed look on his face, and immediately came to my side and, holding my arm and steadying me ushered me into the kitchen sitting me down and making me drinking hot sweet tea.

 

“I am sorry you had to see that he said motioning outside…. those … those words… those drawings……..they are base and vile and untrue. I am sorry too that I have bought this upon you, by me being here, I should leave….”,

I stopped him with a motion of my hand…

“No! it is not your fault…”,

“We both know it is Ella, if I had not been here”,

“It was bound to happen sooner or later I said, but you are here and that’s an end of it.. and you have no where else to go”,

“Is the Mearas alright and the Donkey?”,

“Yes they were warning us that’s all”,

“Well”, I said, “We had better get tidying things up, are you coming?” I asked...he looked at me pensively but followed me out to the garden with me still in my dressing gown out and door boots and we began the long task of picked things up and repairing the damage.

 

Later that day after many hours of long work we had the beds up righted again and were able to save most of the bedding plants, We scrubbed the vile words off the planters and stood back to survey everything.

“What if they come again?”,

“I have rigged up an alarm to my rooms if they come through the gateway I will be alerted”,

I looked at the arrangement of pulleys that now stretched across the walls.

I nodded, and said “Drink?”, he nodded back and in a short while we sat exhausted in kitchen gulping beer from a cask I had bought a while back from the village,

I sighed, and stretched.

“Let me”, he said and got up and came around behind me and moved my hair carefully over my shoulder then placed his hands on my neck, I jumped involuntarily at his touch

“Sorry, do you mind?”, he asked,

“No”, I said.

His long fingers worked at the tired knots and muscled in my neck and shoulders. He drew down my shirt exposing my back a little and continued kneading me for several minutes.

The feel of his fingers on my bare skin felt so relaxing and when he drew his thumps down between the centre of my shoulder blades in long kneading strokes I could not help but let out a gasp of relief.

“Stay there”, he said and went out and came back shortly with a small vial, the aroma was lavender and he gently now eased it over my neck and shoulders and down under my shoulder blades around my ribcage. I had dropped my shirt lower now clutching the front to my chest for modesty's sake but allowing him freer access to my back. His hands swooped expertly over my back rubbing and easing the oil into my skin and part of me was starting to get lost in the euphoric feel of the skin to skin contact. He stopped suddenly, lost in my reverie I shook myself to my senses,

“I will take some bread and cheese to my rooms tonight”,

“Oh, Oh yes”, I said broken from the heady, state I had drifted into,

He could see my exhaustion and I nodded thankful for his perception and kindness.…

“Sleep in tomorrow!”, he said.

 

Sleep however would not come, although I was so tired I and tossed and turned and my mind kept repeating over and over again the events of the day. In some ways although I had not expected such an attack it did not come as a complete surprise. Most in Elvish society would not accept an unmarried female living with a male so flagrantly who was not her husband or close kin. I knew in taking Maglor in it would have ramifications. I did not realise how that simply through association I would be entangled in the censure he had experienced every day since he had returned to Aman. I had wittingly tried to stay away from urban areas a towns cities and villages. That’s why I had taken the small farmstead by the sea when I was offered it by Elrond. Polite society was not for me, staid cloistered mindsets were an anathema to me. I who had known the freedom of long summers out in the gulf of Lune, and up to the Hithaeglir in the winter now had to face I was probably the subject of everyone’s tittle tattle from here to Tirion and then to Aqualonde and back again. Polite society be dammed with its ridiculous regulations and brutal dismissal of anyone who attempted to gainsay them I thought furiously.

 

I thought of Maglor, he had taken it all in his stride, he seemed unperturbed except for his remorse towards me. It was almost as if he’d excepted this as his lot and due. But for me for some reason the words and images that had been written in the garden had especially stung and embarrassed me in front of Maglor. I felt heat inflaming my face again; ‘Whore’ ‘concubine’, ‘murdering bastard’, were some of the less unsavoury expletives scrawled on the upturned beds. The animalistic imagery of the sexual act left nothing to the imagination. The very descriptive giant phallus was especially embarrassing. I had tried to keep my eyes fixed downwards as Maglor had scrubbed it off but he caught me looking at it and for some reason I blushed like a guileless maiden. The ironic expression on his face told me at least he found it vaguely amusing. Why had I felt so embarrassed in front of Maglor? I suppose because those images directly alluded to myself and him. I lay in the darkness, remembering the recent touch of his hands, his fingers on my skin and I was ashamed to admit it even to myself but those images stung and inflamed my imagination and body in an entirely new and different way.

Chapter 5: Crossed wires and Double Entendre!

Elrond steps in to push Ella into seeing something she is abjectly trying to ignore and pretend is not happening. The ensuing conversations are riddled with misunderstandings and embarrassment on Ella's part when it begins to dawn on her what Elrond is talking about. When Maglor confronts her Ella is put on the spot and has no where to hide. Warnings for slightly risque language and its meaning. 

Read Chapter 5: Crossed wires and Double Entendre!

Chapter 5:

Crossed wires and Double Entendre!

 

Elrond came a few days later I had sent a carrier explaining what had happened and not to worry. Maglor was away working on the fences at the far side of the meadows which the intruders had broke through.

“It was not altogether unexpected”,

I nodded.

“I am ashamed”,

“What of?” I said,

“My kind”,

“Don’t be” I said, “Its not your fault”,

But if I had stopped you from taking him, you would not have had to suffer this censure”,

“Hah!”, I exclaimed, “When have I not had to suffer censure and no you know full well you could have not stopped me”,

“But I could have cautioned you, my heart miss gave me but I did not tell you so eager was I to have him settled safe somewhere other than locked behind bars, a prisoner…….. I,…. I am sorry”,

My old friend looked at me remorsefully,

“Don’t I said, “I won’t hear of it”,

“But”,

“Stop it I said taking his hands, stop the guilt trip, I knew what I was doing if not its full implications and I regret nothing, do you understand ?”,

“What swayed your mind that day?”,

“I’m not sure, I just found myself doing it. My father warned me that I would never belong given my mixed heritage, and I suppose I felt a strange affinity, empathy towards Maglor’s situation”. My voice broke and a strange wash of feelings overcame me.

Elrond came to me and held me me watching me tenderly as tears came. “Have you heard from your father, I shook my head.

“I suppose time runs differently for them”,

“I nodded”,

“He will come, I know it, I said,

“It was because of you too”, I said, “You showed me acceptance, a stranger, how then could I not offer that to one who you loved when given the chance”,

He pulled me to him and rocked me in his arms,

“Thank you”, he whispered.

 

Just then Maglor, came into the kitchen, He hugged Elrond smiling broadly,

“I thought I would come and get breakfast and take it with me, I can eat as I work”, he stated slicing bread.

I went to help him, looking for something to carry things in. I felt a strange reticence with Maglor in Elrond’s presence and the easy way we usually weaved around one another in the kitchen was lost and I found myself bumping him several times and found him eyeing me quietly wondering what the problem was. Elrond decided to join him and help with the repair of the fence and as they departed Maglor looked at me again assessing me momentarily and Elrond watched us both with a look of concern and questioning on his face.

I watched as they walked away over the meadow not sure of what had just transpired but I knew something had.

He came back a while later whilst I was preparing lunch.

“Where’s Maglor?” I asked,

“He wants to stay and finish the fencing he will join you later for supper”.

We sat down, and had a convivial meal just fresh bread and cheeses and salad with some white wine, my spirits lifted as Elrond told me about the gossip and goings on of his household.The Peredhil soon had me chortling at his tales of life in the New Imladris, I knew he was trying to lift my mood when suddenly he became altogether serious and took my hands in his,

 

“Tell me?”, he said looking at me questioningly with his soft grey eyes, he held me with a measured and astute gaze for several seconds.

“What I said?”, genuinely not understanding. “What is it I should tell you my dear friend I laughed?”,

“What?”, I asked again a little flustered by intent stare.

He nodded his head to himself as if in confirmation.

“You have a choice, he began, but once such matters rear their heads they need to be addressed for a peaceable resolution for both parties. From what I know of such matters things cannot be resolved expect through, the usual course”.

I looked at the Peredhil my heart sinking, it seemed the court of Finarfin had changed its mind and now would retract their decision to give me licence and probation of my guest.

“Then you will compose a letter, a plea for me?”.

It was now the Peredhil’s turn to look perplexed.” If you wish he said hesitantly but it is really not usual to compose a letter in these matters, it will seem overly formal when one could as easily speak in person”.

“Then I must go to Finafin’s court and sue my case in person?”, I said

The Peredhil looked at me for a few seconds trying to comprehend, “Why would you go to Finafin’s court to ask about such matters? It is not Finafin’s court you need to speak to but your guest himself”,

“But surely I began, the court must know my actions and my motives and I must be clear to them of my intentions towards him”,

The Peredhil looked a little surprised, “If you wish but surly this is an informal matter between the two of you and to broadcast it to the whole court, would you not find that embarrassing?”,

I looked at the Peredhil quizzically scrambling to catch up with what this conversation was about, where it was going?

“My advice is to talk to him. he will take up your meaning”,

I looked at him perplexed.

He sighed exasperatingly, “Have you not understood anything of what I have been speaking about ?Valar help me, I thought that such matters had passed you by but had not realised how dense you are at realising your own predicament”, said Elrond.

“What predicament?”, I repeated truly flummoxed now.

The Peredhil took my hands again. “We have been friends for a long time haven’t we?”

I nodded.

“Did you never wonder why we have been able to be friends and simply that and no more?”,

I pondered for a moment wondering where now was this strange conversation straying to….

“You”, I began….. “you mean like sweethearts?”

“Yes”, he said brightening.

“Well I would have never entertained the idea. you were betrothed, Celebrian”,

“Yes I was already spoken for”,

“But consider if I had not been?”,

I looked at my old friend beginning to feel really uncomfortable at this turn of the conversation.

“Please he said trying to sooth me, I am not propositioning you after all these years, but consider would friendship have turned to more if I had been free?”,

I looked at him blankly taking a few moments for the implications of what he was saying to filter through as I drew the requisite comparisons to my immediate situation and hung my head embarrassed that the Peredhil had observed in a few moments what I had been denying for months.

“Is it really so obvious?”, I asked as realisations began to slowly dawn.

“The Peredhil pulled me towards him and whispered near to my ear, “the energy pulsating around you both would ignite a fire five leagues from here”.

“But how has this happened?” I said aghast,

“Can you not see the duality of male and female will nearly always produce a problem in close company”,

“But how can this be resolved?” I asked,

The Peredhil looking at me questioningly. “How are such needs ever alleviated?”,

“Stars you cannot be saying what I think you are saying”, I said turning crimson,

The Peredhil continued looking intently at me saying nothing,

“I cannot, I cannot, how can I speak to him of …. of…. such matters! I cannot”, I reiterated once more.

“You MUST”, he stated adamantly, “that or let both of you burn ..….. and if you do not speak to him that will set up greater problems which will end up in unresolved tension on both sides. You must speak also because he cannot speak, because as your guest he is entirely dependant on your good grace for home and hearth”.

 

He smiled and kissed me on my forehead.

“I will go take my leave of him”, he nodded to the far meadow across the way where Maglor would be working.

“Talk to him”, he said before he took his leave. “Just broach it with him” he urged… “he will understand and take up your meaning”.

 

 

After he had gone I sat stupefied trying to gather my thoughts, The intricacies of gender had indeed passed me by for many years. I who had up until now prided myself with not being embroiled with the messy emotional entanglements of those around me was now caught in such a web. I who thought myself above the need to act upon such desires now felt the unassailable pull of them.I looked back thinking back to the many interactions between us where I have felt fixated and drawn to him, and the looks, and mutual gazes on both sides that held so much portent and unspoken desire. How in heavens was I going to even broach this with him, yet the Peredhil had been adamant I should or things would spoil between us.

 

Later as we sat, eating our evening meal he knew something was wrong with me,

“What is it Ella “, he asked softly.

Damn it I thought why Oh why could we not remain in this convivial place of friendly bonhomie. I knew once broached this conversation could not be undone.

“I ...I…”, my voice failed me,

“Ermhuh”, I cleared my throat to begin again, “You are happy here?”,

“Yes of course”,… he replied questioningly,

“Good”, I said overly brightly,

“Its just that you would tell me if you weren’t?”,

He quirked his eyebrows together at this point and leant on the table...”Of course!”,

“Oh Good, all good!”,

“Ella”, he began, “are you happy?” “Or …..do you find it difficult me being here?”,

“Yes, I am really really happy”, I said realising how stupidly inane I sounded in my own ears.

“I..I..I ..its just that is good when people get on isn’t it...er...er especially when they are the opposite sex”, there I had said it.

I looked across at Maglor he was looking at me frankly, openly and a slight smile of comprehension playing across his features.

Damn it I would throttle the Peredhil if he had said anything.

He leisurely pulled his chair back crossed his long legs in front of him taking slow sips of his wine and fixed me with his silver stare.

“SEX!” He said you talk of “SEX!” he elucidated each syllable in that way he had of making one word seem like a question.

I looked down abashed at the stark manner of his speech ….., “I mean that … that you … and I are…….”,

“Male and female”, he concluded for me.

“And that is a problem for you?”

“No!”, my voice came out as a squeak.

“I like IT,”, he said, “that we are”,

“Oh, yes of course, its a good thing isn’t it, yes good, good”, I said flustered wishing heartedly that I could think of some other adjective to say say than good all the time I was sounding like a moronic idiot to myself and Valor knows what Maglor was thinking of me.

“It is good he replied, but do you like IT?”, This time I didn’t misinterpret the double entendre in his words.

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks.

“Well ?”, he said, “you do not answer me”.

“The predilections of the opposite, sex are not unknown to to me, however, I do not see it should be any cause for disruption”, I answered eruditely.

I got up to clear the table thinking I had better swiftly put an end to his conjectures on the topic when he nearly tripped me up uncrossing his booted feet and planting one directly between my legs.

I looked at him and he was staring directly at me his eyes silvered and narrow.

“Excuse me”, I said meekly,

He swiftly got up and stood up in front of me taking the plates I was holding between us and placing them on the table in a considered manner and then turned to me. He was very close, I could feel my breath coming in shorter, rapid gasps my chest rising and falling. He scanned my face and I dropped my gaze unable to lift it under his keen appraisal.

 

“Ella…… you do not answer me again, do you like it?”, he said softly…..seductively……

“I find that we are ……. we are ……. we work well together”, I stuttered, deliberately misconstruing his meaning.

 

He sighed… and I drew back my hands which I inanely still held up from when he had taken the plates from me but not before he swiftly caught them and held them. He caressed his thumbs over the inside of my palms and across my pulse spot which was now bumping through the skin.

He bent towards me and I could feel his breath on my neck, the shell of my ear,

 

“Ella”… he whispered

I knew I had only to turn my head and we both would lose all sensibility and reserve. I could almost feel his mouth on mine, his kiss soft and languid with an increasing urgency, pulling me into him, his tongue lapping into my mouth with his taste, his sweetness.

“The donkey”, I said, “I have forgotten to give him his hay for the night”, and ran outside.

 

When I got back Maglor had taken himself to bed across the courtyard. The door clicked shut and I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew though I had only averted things. Stars above I couldn’t take any more of this my brain hurt. I spewed out a number of coarse invectives at my predicament and went to bed.

---

Chapter End Notes

Whew this was a difficult chapter to write and make that conversations sound authentic and real. I wanted Ella's embarrassment and naivety to come across. I Just love double entendre and so enjoyed writing the heated, potent conversation between Maglor and Ella and Ella's growing mortification and realisation when Elrond confronts her.

Chapter 6: Alqualonde

This chapter takes a far more serious turn as Ella visits Alqualonde and the true ramifications of her actions over allowing a kin slayer into her home are felt and experienced. She begins to understand that the social, political consequences of her actions  hold far more importance than she ever imagined and what she has done is of interest and speculation far outside the confines of her small life and homestead by the sea. Please note if anyone does not want to read, there is an attempted rape at the end of the chapter and vulgar language. I felt it necessary as it gave the story gravitas.

Read Chapter 6: Alqualonde

Chapter 6:Alqualonde

 

A few days later I had to go to Alqualonde down the coast with the finished assignments of my sculptures. Maglor could not come with me to Alqualonde given the terms of his bail, but given the natures of his crimes it would have been insensitive in the least. I would be gone a week. When he came to the house later and asked to be excused dinner with me as I had an early start and would need to get to bed early I was not surprised and felt some what relieved. But it was proof, I knew, of the tension that now permeated every interaction between us and I saw no hope of rectifying this matter immediately.

In the morning, Maglor helped me with loading the wagon I had borrowed from village. The two dray horses stood meekly as we finished covering the load with the tarpaulins. Maglor had taken to averting his eyes from me, yet watching me if he thought I was not looking as when he had first arrived. That easy bonhomie had gone replaced by an awkward silence that was ripe with the unspoken. Damn, damn, damn it I thought again and again.

 

Alqualonde, such apt lyrical name for the sprawl of buildings. They looked as if they were drunken, perched sloppily in a row after row of cottages on impossibly steep cobbled streets that topped down to the azure blue harbour in death defying bends and inclines. I thought of Tirion with its Noldarian lines and symmetry and its egoic need to impress with regal and momentous buildings. Here everything looked organic as if it had just grown out of the rock and slowly formed itself as after a few hundred millennium. It was irrepressibly whimsical and romantic. My spirit warmed to it when I had first come here and I had wandered around with my sketch book dazed at the higgledy piggledyness of it all. I wondered how much each city had been imbued by its rulers. Finarfin’s decorum and hubris seemed to reflect so much of Tirion’s stuffy architecture, whereas here, although I had never met King Olwe I speculated that his visage and persona must surely give credence to his city and would surely be more relaxed than his kinsman.

 

When my was wagon safely stored for the night I found my way to my rooms. I was staying in a small guest house run by a Falmari couple, who were always full of polite gestures and enquiries to my journey and stay without being too nosy. Its roof was weathered slates of timber that formed an up turned mushroom with the stalk being a weather vein that stood out at the top and round windows cut into it. It walls were inlaid with mother of pearls and precious stones, amethyst and topaz and what seemed the Telerian’s favourite blue stone, aquamarine. I had stayed there many before, and usually felt relaxed by the bonhomie and acceptance I found there. However, this time, I felt an unmistakable tension permeating the air even as I stepped over the threshold. The couple greeted me and the ellon perfunctorily took my bags from hand with no usual greeting. The elleth led me to the dining room after I deferred going up to my room and instead asked for a small bowl of warm water and towel to be brought to my table. I was famished from my long journey and was looking forward to my meal, however, at no point did either of them look me in the eye nor ask of my well being as they usually did, which I found odd. There did not seem to be any other guests so I thought it best to hit the nail on the head so to speak and find out what reception I was going to get here in Alqualonde. When they both came back into the dining room and were focused on serving me and, I said,

“So you know?”,

They exchanged a set of fretful looks between themselves.

“If you want, I broached”, “I can look for somewhere else to stay?”, although I had no idea other than sharing a stable with the horses. I had paid in advance and added, “you can keep the payment for the rooms”, and went to get up thinking their silence meant their agreement.

“Please”, the elleth stayed me with her hand, “Don’t go, it’s alright we’ve talked about it and we don’t care what people say, you’re welcome to stay here”. They both nodded and smiled tentatively

I nodded and smiled back in gratitude and finished my meal went up to my rooms.

I sat on the bed, so it was true then, we were the target of gossip from here to Tirion and back. I should not have expected any less I thought forlornly. Tomorrow I would go up to the palace, I had a meeting with the palace officials who were interested in my sculptures. They had bought from me before and a number of my sculptures of flying fish and birds and horses adorned the palace gardens. However, what would my reception be now?

 

The next morning the fair haired proprietress knocked my door.

“I was wondering if you would like a hand getting ready”, she asked tentatively.

She had a bowl of steaming water in her hand and hair brushes and clips and a bag on her arm, that looked promising of other potions and creams to prettify.

“That would be wonderful”, I said. I had already bathed in the small bathroom, the bath being fresh sea water had been cold but refreshing.

 

I sat on the on a low chair in my outer robe, as she came up behind me and stared to arrange my hair. Although I knew Olwe’s court did not stand on ceremony I knew it would not do to appear in my travelling breeches and boots. I had bought with me a fine blue linen gown which I had hung up the night before in the bathroom hoping the creases would come out. The elleth, her name was Gelerial, smoothed and brushed my hair marvelling at its dark colour and sheen. She politely did not ask why I kept it so short; according to Elvish standards it was only just reaching my shoulder blades and therefore woefully short for an elleth. She skilfully weaved and wove my hair back back from my face and I luxuriated in her touch as she was deft and did not pull or tug me.

 

“What time are they expecting you?”, she asked timidly,

“Oh not till mid morning”, I said,

“Will you meet the King?”, she asked,

I laughed, “Oh no I am far too lowly for that, perhaps a lower official of a lower official of a lower official”, I laughed again and she laughed with me.

“Would you like someone to walk up with you to the palace she asked?”,

“Why?”, I asked innocently,

“Well its quite a climb, it would be company?”

I opened my eyes which I had kept closed until then and turning assayed her,

“Do I need someone to guard me I asked laughing?”,

She smiled awkwardly blushing.

“I see,” I said, “whatever you think is necessary”, not wanting to embarrass her further by protesting.

I watched her wondering what she was thinking. I couldn’t help it I had to ask.

“What is it they are saying about me?”

“They….they.....say…..” ,I heard her gulp

“Say it……. Please”,

“They say you are his mistress”,

It came out in a rush and I heard her holding her breath and stilling her hands on my hair.

“Its alright”, I said, “people talk”,

She carried on in an awkward silence for a few minutes finishing my hair.

“Shall I get your dress?” she offered”.

I pointed to the bathroom and she came back with it nodding her head fiercely.

“Oh no this will never do its all creased. I will go down and get the creases out”,

“Thank you I said trying to sound grateful but my heart sank. So that's what they were thinking I said to myself and worse I supposed.

 

I got up and walked to the long looking glass at the far side of the room by the window and viewed myself. My hair had been caught back from face not severely but in soft full relaxed loops caught with gems and pearls randomly. They would match cobalt blue dress. I smiled at myself and my face came alive, my dimples and up turned nose looked delicate and feminine. The elleth had put khol around my lashes and powdered my nose and my large dark eyes framed by hair stared back at me. At hat moment my dress arrived back with Gelerial holding it above head obscuring her face.

She helped me into it and did up the laces at back.

“There you look splendid all set for the court”, she said,

“Oh I don’t think I get an entrance to the court, I think just around the back entrance is good enough for me”,

“Well any way you look beautiful enough for it”, she smiled., trying to make up for the awkwardness of earlier.

I demurely blushed and smooth my hands on the blue dress wondering at how it hugged my curves.

 

Half an hour later, I was walking up to the palace with my guide come body guard. He was a Falmari sailor given his swaying gait and calloused hands. He was polite but passed no more conversation than was deemed polite.

 

I was greeted at gates by an official I had not seen before and shown into a large domed waiting come entrance hall. All around marble shone in glossy lines of cream and soft oranges and peaches. I had never been into the palace proper, only as far as the outer building but now I sat up looking up in amazement. The next thing I knew was I heard a soft swish of clothing and dropped my gaze to find someone who could only be the king himself, I recognised him straight away from the familial similarities with Finarfin. But beyond that the similarities stopped.

He stood strategically in a shaft of sunlight from the open dome.

“Well met”, he said genially, “please walk with me”.

Unaccustomed as I was with walking with Kings I could not help stealing looks at him. Olwe had the same silver golden hair of Finarfin his brother but he was a different from Finarfin as could be supposed. His hair was caught in a low pony tail and had come away in messy strands. Soft violet robes floated around him wrapped like some sort of toga. On his head were fronds of sea kelp and starred urchins which added to his bohemian appeal. He was neither young nor old but I could see antiquity in his icy blue eyes. Even though so lax as a Olwe’s court was I knew this was a great honour to be greeted by the King in person. Olwe motioned me to follow him.

“Your Sculptures they suit my realm”,

“Yes I think so, yes , …. thank you”, I stuttered, unsure of how to reply,

“I particularly like the horses, you have a Mearas ?”, He questioned

“Yes”, I replied.

“It is a great honour they only choose once and their choice is unfaltering. It was part of the reason I allowed your venture here”,

I was alarmed and humbled that such royalty as Olwe had taken an interest in me.

Thank you I mumbled”

“You know they only choose those as pure as them selves”,

“Oh”, I blushed taken aback unsure of how to reply to such a compliment.

 

Olwe walked and motioned for me to follow him. Courtiers nodded deferentially to him and far above our heads I could hear the distant peal of children’s laughter. We came to a wide balcony over looking the turquoise bay of Eldamar. Olwe spread his hand out in display.

“It is beautiful” I said and I meant it. The softness of the light here was countered by being further away than Tirion was from Mount Taniquetil. There I found the cast of light a little too bright and it made me giddy as if I was always trying to readjust my sight. Bit here long turquoise and purple shadow stretched across the landscape from the Pelori.

 

“The Peredhil, he must be grateful to you for taking him in. He could not of course, it would have upset half his house. It must must be handy to have him so near, his foster father so he calls him I believe”.

My voice caught in my throat I had no idea Olwe would broach such a subject. I felt utterly flustered and out of my breathe.

“And how do you find him? Remorseful?”,

“I have never asked, its so long ago, its not my place to”,…. my voice trailed away.

“Not your place. The only one who would give in shelter apart from the Peredhil not even his own family”.

Olwe turned to me his eyes blue icy shards of questioning.

I felt stuck and immobile under that assessing gaze.

“Peace!”, …. he signalled with his palm and turned the subject to more mundane matters of payment.

 

 

It was late and all I could think of was getting back to the guest house before my early start tomorrow. Olwe had bought all my sculptures and paid me well in return. Coin would follow me on by courier. As I walked back to my rooms I mused on the strange meeting I had had today with the King. Not doubt like the rest of Alqualonde he had wanted to satisfy his curiosity about the person who would dare to take a kin slayer in. As I walked the shadows were deepening in the twisting ally ways and lamps were being lit in homes and in the main streets. I decided to take the back passage ways as I knew them quite well and was scurrying through them, my arms wrapped around me at the slight chill that was staring to permeate the air when I was suddenly grabbed from behind forcefully. I was slammed up against a wall. I could not see my attacker, other than he was male and a good head and a half half than me. He held me pinned against the wall his arm across my stomach and the other across my shoulders.

“No noise or I’ll gut you”, you he said.

His accent was thick Falmari. I nodded as best I could and he released his hand from my mouth.

“What do you want?, I have no coin nothing on me”, I said hoarsely.

“Shut up”, he reprimanded.

I became silent, trying to control my ragged breathing.

My attacker stood immobile over me still pinning me to the wall with his body and weight.

He released my shoulder and pulled at the front of dress ripping it exposing my breasts and then cupped them savagely squeezing and pinching my nipples enough to hurt me, I whimpered. He lifted my skirts with the other hand and pulled my undergarment down and then cupped my sex I squirmed trying to get away from his touch.

“Stop it”, he said.

I froze as from somewhere he place a knife to my neck I could see it gleam and feel its cold tip on the pulsing vein in my neck

He nudged my legs open and inserted his fingers into me then out and then in again.

His touch burned and hurt me as the friction was dry and un arousing.

“Do you like that slut?”, he said, “Is this what he does to you?”.

I heard a noise as he stared to undress himself and then I felt him nudge is length up against my entrance,

“Is this what you want whore, did you open your legs for him, like your doing for me?”,

He stared to stretched my dry core open with the head of his length and was already breaching me and I could see no way to stop this from happening when I felt something coil inside me and radiated out to my limbs.

I felt light head and knew what was happening.

He was still speaking in disgusting obscenities to me a when I brought my in right hand down in a mighty sweep across his face ripping and tearing the flesh. He screamed and recoiled and I had my moment of escape, he would bear the scar forever, I thought. I ran till my lungs seared trying to cover up my exposed breasts. I reached the guest house and paused outside in the shadows to get my breath and compose my attire. I felt giddy and the adrenalin was still pumping around enough to make me feel elated that I had got away when I retched and vomited violently.

I wiped my mouth still shaking and composed myself as best I could. No was around and I stole up to my room and the next morning left early. Alqualonde was not longer safe for me.

 

 

---

Chapter End Notes

Gosh this was a big, difficult chapter to write.The story needed to reach outside the confines of Ella's small life and she needed to see the bigger context of her actions. As for the names I am going to be sticking to Sindarin as I find Quenya names indescribably difficult to remember and simply would not do them justice. I had great fun describing Alqualonde through Ella's artistic vision. As for the attempted rape I simply do not hold with Elves being all high and spiritually noble. If they are able to commit genocide they are able do commit other heinous acts. It is their individual actions which give them nobility not  birth or an inherent racial superiority.

Chapter 7: Unstoppable force.

Warnings for eroticism.

Read Chapter 7: Unstoppable force.

Chapter 7. Unstoppable force.

A few days later I was on the way back along the dusty sand strewn lanes nearing my homestead. I left the cart at the village and called to my Mearas whistling in a high pitch and he came swiftly cantering along the beach to carry me the last few miles home. Home I thought, Maglor I thought, and I felt my spirits rise. I could not deny that what had happened in Alqualonde had badly shaken me but that I had been able to strike back reminded me that I was not entirely helpless. That I remained discreet about this was due to the very discrimination I had experienced in Alqualonde. I knew if anyone ever suspected it would be an incendiary thrown into an already burning blaze.

 

I just wanted to put all thought of Alqualonde and what happened there out of my mind; I just wanted normality and my home comforts, and strangely enough I now felt myself putting Maglor into that fold. I dearly hoped he had forgotten all that nonsense from before I left. He been a stalwart companion these last few months and I had not realised until now how much. With his quite unassuming manner, his diligence to his work, I liked having him around I thought more than I had realised. Elrond had been wrong, we could surely live and work together harmoniously. This would be a fresh start after a break from one another. I decided not to tell him of the attack or the reaction I had got in Alqualonde. I didn’t need reminding of such  judgment and derision and neither did he. He would have felt immeasurably guilty at the nature of the attack. I just wanted to put the whole unpleasant experience out of my mind.

 

When I got there Maglor was filling the last few raised beds with flowers that would bloom into a riotous colour in the next few months. I went to slide down my horse back and he steadied me before I reached the floor holding me around my waist.

“Thank you”, I said as I turned around and he momentarily held on to me before letting go. I was rather abashed at the contact and I realised I was genuinely glad to see him.

 

“You’ve been working hard you’ve been working hard while I’ve been away”, I nodded towards the raised beds,

“Of course” he said as if I was questioning his diligence.

“Come see”,

He seemed proud of his efforts and I realised he had found real purpose in creating my garden for me. After surveying all he had done. I walked towards the house and turned back,

“You will come to dinner tonight?”

He nodded affirmatively his expression soft and a smile playing around his lips. I so glad of this friendly manner we had struck and more than ever so glad the awkwardness and the reason for it from before I went away was all now resolved. I sighed glad to be home and back on an even keel again with Maglor.

 

I made food hoping he would not be long, I had brought some fresh food in the village small pastries and quiches and with early spring greens and some fresh batons of bread with the white wine I hope it was not too a meagre a dish.

 

It was half past the hour we usually ate, and the food was ready on the table when I wondered where Maglor was. What could be keeping him I wondered. Such thoughts consumed my mind for a number of minutes and I chastised myself at not being more patient. At quarter to the hour when my patience wore thin I set off to the range of small out buildings Maglor occupied.

 

He was not in the sitting room come bedroom, and I pushed open the adjoining doorway to the passage which connected to the bathroom. I really don’t know what I was thinking that day, why my brain was not in gear, but my impatience partly fuelled it and hearing no shower or water noises I found myself taking hold of the door handle to the bathroom and opening it.

 

Maglor there in front of me, completely naked, his head tilted slightly back in repose and relaxation as he soaped himself between his legs as the cold water ran over him. He looked down at me astonished, and his hand froze on the sponge he was using to lather himself and his erect member with.

 

I felt my mouth open and all I could spurt out was I’m sorry was before I felt the intense heat of a blush crimson my face and I turned and ran. I ran across the yard through the kitchen door and stood there utterly fazed not knowing which way to turn, or what to do with myself. I touched my face with the back of my hand, it was burning. I looked around bewildered, thoughtless, not knowing what to focus on, only knowing I felt utterly abashed and discomposed at seeing Maglor in the state I had.

 

The next moment Maglor appeared in the door way with an earnest look on his face and slightly out of breath, he had wrapped a towel around his bottom half but was making puddles on the floor from his shower. He quickly walked towards me and held me by both wrists. I jerked back at his touch but he kept a firm yet gentle hold of my wrists pulling me towards him.

“Ella, Ella, listen to me”, he pleaded, “There is no shame in this, I do not mind, you do not shame me, please, please do not be embarrassed. Please, there is no shame in you seeing my nakedness”, he continued, “There is no shame in seeing me as you did”.

 

But embarrassed I was, in fact mortified would have been the right expression and I knew to what he alluded, when he talked of,‘as you did’. I had not only seen his nakedness but caught him in a private display of self gratification and sexual release. I felt the heat searing my neck and face, and I could hear myself mumbling incoherently about supper and food as I watched the wet patches pooling on the floor when I felt his hand come under my chin and caress my neck and the next thing I knew was that his mouth soft and urgent was latched onto mine in a delicious, encompassing sweetness that sent radiated heat in my spine and down my legs. He pulled me urgently against him pressing the whole of his torso against as me he as continued his soft insistent kisses, pushing his tongue into my mouth, deepening the intensity. He pushed me against the back of the low coach in the middle of the room to steady us his arms encircling my waist.

 

Before I knew it he had lifted my shirt up out of my breeches and was encircling my breasts with his hands manipulating them and pulling at my nipples. He bent his head and took one then another of them into his mouth. The rush of blood to my core and base was nearly overwhelming and I mouthed something incoherent. Then leaving my breasts exposed to the cool air he bent down on his knees to to unlace my breeches pulling them swiftly off over my feet until I stood there with my bottom half exposed and I not caring in the least. He lifted one of my thighs slightly then bent his head to to kiss and expose my nub to his mouth.

I caught hold of his shoulder to steady myself and willed him to never stop as I felt an explosion beginning to curl up within me. He used his fingers to open me and his tongue to lubricate as he continued his ministrations below me.

He stopped suddenly and lifted me up in his arms with alarming ease and walked over to the bedroom door, pushing it open with his knee before depositing me gently on the bed. He stood by the bed and pulled the towel covering himself off. He knelt over me holding his length and rubbing its head on my nub easing my lips open pushing slightly to stretch a little more each time until he gained a little more entrance. All the time he watched me with his limpid shining grey eyes gauging my reactions. When he felt me give a little more he suddenly pushed his entire length inside of me and then stopped. When he start a slow movement to and fro within me I felt a deep desire to yield to him, to open myself up like a budding flower and encompass him entirely. I felt filled, entire and subsumed in a totality in a way I had never, never felt before. All I knew was that I was drowning in the slow rhythmic thudding of the slap of flesh on flesh. His rhythm built and I drank and swilled with its intensity utterly lost and yielding to its consuming pulse until I could not stop the culmination within my body and I lost myself in a euphoric ecstasy as he plunged and rose and plunged and rose deeper and deeper into my core until he was utterly, spent and satiated within me.

 

The dawn rose with a blush of peached innocence and streaked across the bed we lay in which gave lie to the utter turgid abandonment of the state we both lay in. His head upon my breast, sleeping deeply, I splayed on my back with his legs twinned through mine exposing my sex and the evidence of our connubial bliss. I didn't care, I had no shame, I felt triumphant even. Let the dawn see and the day acknowledge our naked truth I thought. I felt glad, free and carefree in a way I had never felt. I felt him stir and lap at my breast like a young child looking for succour, and I was mother earth, Yvanna herself giving freely of my bounty. I held my breast and perked the nipple up into his mouth and he sucked languidly then, rolled on top of me, and found my entrance and pushed his already hardened length once more within me. I felt the same intensity building within me as I had before, and gave myself up to his thrusts as he swiftly pushed himself within me releasing himself with a shuddering display of urgency and want. He found my mouth and kissed me opening me with his tongue, before he spoke,

“Good morning”, he said, which I felt was an understatement to say the least.

Chapter 8: Reclamation.

Maglor and Ella are caught up in circumstances outside their control.

Read Chapter 8: Reclamation.

 

Chapter 8: Reclamation

 

We spent the next few weeks energised by the euphoric haze of hormones, sleep and blissfulness; any where, everywhere, was leverage or position; up against a wall, bent over the low coach, lifted up on the kitchen table, siting astride on the kitchen chairs, the floor, the grass, tipping, bending me over whenever, however. My breasts ached from being suckled and handled and some days we remained in naked exhibition. I would wind myself around him, pulling his firm buttocks into me sucking and kissing his lips, his neck and nipples, until I gorged myself on his beautiful length and he would lift me up around his waist and I would feel his hard erect ardency spreading my centre apart and filling me as he whispered my name, thrusting into my body telling me again and again of his love and passion and loyalty. I felt dissolute, abandoned and freed from every fear or disquiet I ever had.

 

I knew when the Peredhil came again I knew he would know instantly, I knew I would not be able to hide anything from him. Maglor asked leave to visit him, but I reminded him on the terms of his agreement to stay with me meant that his confinement was with in the local vicinity.

 

We were basking in bed one afternoon when the Perehdil came. Maglor had persuaded me after lunch that a siesta was needed, I didn’t need much persuading and before I knew it he had stripped me and was indulging himself when I heard a voice calling, Elrond I thought panicked! I clutched at Maglor holding his head between my legs and mouthed as he looked up at me,

“Not a word”, and deftly got up and pulled my clothes on. I rushed through the door keeping it slightly closed and met Elrond’s quizzical gaze.

 

I rushed to the sink and began gamely talking about his journey and how well he was hoping Maglor would respect my request and keep quite, and that the Peredhil would not see my flushed and harried state. All was in vain when two seconds later Maglor came through the bedroom door naked and walked laughing towards me and pulled me into embrace kissing my neck and twirling me about. I pushed him away and tried vainly to hide his still semi erect and weighty protuberance with a teacloth to which he laughed even more uproariously and said that Elrond had seen it all before and not to worry, before catching me again in his embrace. I gave up any ruse at decorum when I saw Elrond folded in half, tears spilling out of the corner of his eyes joining in with Maglor at my discomposed state.

 

“Oh very funny both of you”, I growled, “Sit down at least” I said to Maglor,

 

I gathered the teacups and put the water onto boil and sat down at the head of table looking at the wood intently when Maglor pulled me off my seat into his lap and began kissing my neck and with his free hand cupping my breast. I squealed and slapped him across his back and head with the tea cloth cognizant of Elrond still laughing at my predicament.

 

When they had both quieted in to a more modicum state I made tea and we talked in a convivial manner with me still on Maglor’s naked lap.

 

Two weeks later to the day our bubble burst. I walked into the kitchen, “Was that post I asked?”,

 

Maglor was sitting on one of the kitchen chairs holding a piece of parchment in his hand with a dazed looked on his face. It stopped me in my tracks,

 

“What is it?” I asked quietly. Surely something calamitous given his countenance.

“An order”,

“What”, I said dumbfounded.

“An order of reclamation”. My brain scrambled to under stand what he was saying it made no sense.

He proffered me the official looking document. It was stamped with the high seal of Finarfin and began with many hearto’s and wherewithal's etc before it.

“I don’t understand Maglor what is it that Finarfin wants from you, does he want money?”.

“No”, he said

“Then who has written this and what does it mean?”,

“It is a claim of restoration and as such can be made by an injured party under Noldarian law. It can be made by friends, colleagues or family”, he said quietly.

“And who exactly is making this claim?” I asked

Maglor looked at me watching me intently as I sat down on the opposite chair.

“My wife”,

“Your wife”, I said, dumbfounded.

He nodded never taking his eyes off me.

“I thought that was dissolved I said, a long time ago, that’s what Elrond told me”,

“As did I. She supposed me dead and given the oath I was as good of to her. She would have started the process of annulment when I had gone to Endore”.

He looked at me pensively, tightened and strung as if to break.

“But what is that she wants exactly?”,

“She wants a restoration of our marriage and its vows”.

I said calmly, “what does that mean?”,

He looked down abashed,

“That we live together again as husband and wife”,

“I see”, I said.

“If a spouse is found again they can begin an accord”,

“An Accord”, I asked,

“The process of reconciliation and restoration. I never thought she would do so, I thought all was long forgotten and dead between us”.

“But why now?”,

He shook his head, “I don’t know ours was not a love match, more a political alliance”.

“A political alliance”, I repeated

“Yes it is normal in the arrangements of a Royal house”….. his voice petered away…

“Oh”, I said.

He stared at me as the seconds ticked by. I studied the kitchen table engrossed in the whorls in the wood, I was surprisingly calm I thought to myself. I got up and walked to the kitchen sink and took the sharp knife that was for fruit and drove into the fleshy part of my palm. Maglor was there in an instance taking the knife from me and wrapping my hand in a tea towel. I felt the release of tears down my cheeks and a conflagration of emotion start to build up inside of me. I could hear his voice as if far away pleading and with me? I suddenly wanted to get away from him anywhere but here with him. I pulled away from him ignoring him and walked to the door. He followed me then suddenly dropped to his knees clutching my legs. He was pleading crying I couldn’t tell you what he said. I tried to push him off me, but he wouldn’t let go.

“You”, I screamed sobbing in great gulping pants, “What am I?, tell me what am I to you”, I entreated again.

“I was just your whore, like they said I was wasn’t I,…. your slut …… you let me open my legs for you it all the time knowing you already bonded to another, ……...all the time making a fool of me, ……….all the time lying, lying lying”.

 

Then all I could hear was my voice screaming obscenities and my voice broken with emotion as I was hitting him on his shoulders,

“No Ella”, he implored, “you know it was never like that!”

“Let go of me”, my voice cracked.

 

He let go and sunk to his knees as I stepped over him and ran out of the house. I ran to the beach, I wondered the shoreline, my feet dribbling in the soft and the ebb and flow of the slow tide, walking carelessly, lost in a reverie of loss and despair, I sank into the incoming tide and relished its swill and ebb encircling my grief stricken state.

 

Later when I came back I found him in the kitchen he had cleaned the floor and all the surfaces and set the table for dinner with cutlery and glasses. I could smell a vegetable stew newly cooked cooling on the side. I saw his face blanched and discomposed, his eyes pensive and hurt red rimmed like my own, he looked like he had been crying. He offered me a glass of wine searching my face for forgiveness.

 

I sat down and accepted the glass and we ate in silence. When after clearing and cleaning the dishes he went to go outside to the his old rooms I said simply, stay and walked to the bedroom. He followed me and stood admonished in front of me his head bowed and his hands clasped together.

 

“Your hand”, he said, “It needs dressing, wait I will get some hot water”.

Up until that moment I had not realised I had still got the kitchen tea towel wrapped around my hand and tied in a knot. He came back with a bowl, steam rising out of it and the smell of clean herbs pervaded the room. He sat next to me on the bed and gently wiped the dried blood away but I winced, up until then my emotions had blocked off the pain but now my hand was beginning to throb.

“Forgive me”, he said as he dressed the cut and bandaged it. “The salve should deaden the pain in a few minutes he added”.

“Thank you” I said quietly, disinterested.

 

We sat next to one awkwardly saying nothing as the second ticked by. I knew he was waiting for me.

“We should get into bed”, he said.

I turned my back to him without saying a word and he started helping me unlacing my gown. He undid the laces and I slipped the gown with its under shift carefully off my shoulders. He hesitated and then gently pulled my gown and shift down over my hips taking care of my injured hand. I stood their in front of him naked, dazed! He he placed my gown on a chair He pulled the bed covers back.

“Shall we get into bed”, he said and then undressed swiftly and got in next to me.

 

As we lay in bed both our moods pensive and troubled I asked.

“What is she like your wife?”. I imagined a tall dark Noldarian beauty with an androgynous figure and sharp chiselled features.

“Don’t ask me to talk of her Ella, please, it is you I love”, Maglor beseeched,

“Tell me”, Maglor I commanded, “tell me, let me know it all”, I said flatly staring at he starlit sky.

“She is beautiful according to Nodarian standards”, he began, “proud, tall, remote”,

“Did you love her?”,

“I,…. I thought I did, but what did I know then of love”.

“And when you….you were together…. was it like it is between us?”,

He turned me towards him and gazed at me, “No Ella, it was perfunctory, sex, duty”,

“You say that but I dare say you got pleasure from it”.

“Yes I admit I did I will not lie to, the marriage bed is there for the succour of the other, and there were other times too”.

“In Endore?”I said.

“Yes”, he said guiltily,

“I know your foster son spoke of them”,

“Did he?”,

“With males?”,

“Yes”.

“Your brother?”

“Yes”,

“What is it like to be with another male?” I asked,

“It is different, warm skin, tender at times, needy and animal like and gratifying at others”.

“Forgive me” I said, “I should not ask”,

“No Ella you have a right to know even though it hurts me to tell you. I wish to hide nothing from you”.

 

He kissed me softly then and I reciprocated when he rubbed and stimulated my sex and nub lightly in the way he knew would pleasure me. When he parted my legs I and entered me I could not refuse, and I sighed feeling the deep satisfaction at having his hardened length inside me, a testament if only for a little while of his desire and need of me and I so needed that affirmation and so did he.

 

When Elrond came he read the letter with his usual adroit reserved countenance, unmoved and stoic, he folded it onto the table and met our stares. “They are asking for restoration not demanding it, you have every right to refuse?”

“But if we refuse?” I asked,

“Then they will demand monetary compensation”,

“How much?”

“That will be debated by Finafin’s court”.

“But it will be substantial and take account of the years lost to your wife in Endore and the loss of status and children, and home”,

“What if we can’t pay”, I asked

“Then you”, he said looking at Maglor will be returned to prison and the key throne away until you return to your former wife and recommence your husbandly duties in full or you pay in full”,

“Bastards I said, bloody bastards they give us no choice”.

“They have us in a double bind”, said Maglor forlornly.

“There maybe a way around this”, said Elrond cryptically.

He looked at his foster father, “you must return, and suppose to give them what they wish, you have not the means to pay and they know this, so therefore you must return and recommence your duties as a husband”.

I cried out and Maglor errupted. “I cannot betray Ella I cannot”.

“Here me out Elrond held up his hand”, there must be a reason she wishes you back, it was no love match after all, I wager she sees to gain some commercial or private gain from this that has nothing to do with the martial bed or love of you. And that is what we must find out! And we can only find it out if you return. You must play her hand at this. You will have to go back.

 

We spend the next week before his return, lost in a haze of hopelessness and desperation. Clinging to one another at night, we became dissolute and desperate in our longing to bond and meld with one another and I who had never thought or considered a child now found myself thinking of that very thing when he entered me, relishing his essence as he spilled it inside of me, desperately clinging to him.

Chapter 9. A Letter.

Ella is forced to accept a shocking truth and can hardly bear its implications for her and Maglor.

Read Chapter 9. A Letter.

Chapter: A Letter.

 

Three months later.

The flower beds had sprouted in to tumultuous cascades of colour yet he who had planted them was not here to see his handiwork and because of that I too could not thoroughly enjoy their riotous display. My locus and reason for being had left with Maglor and now all was void of meaning to me. Elrond said it was normal considering the bond we had. He was careful I noted not to use past tense when speaking of Maglor but we had still no word. I was all for sending a letter the next few weeks after Maglor had gone but Elrond cautioned me to be patient and let things settle. He said we had to let the situation resolve without any interference from us. If we did otherwise and broached the matter too soon it could spell disaster, especially if his estranged wife got any inclination that mine and Maglor ‘affair’, as she would think it, was on going. Better he said if we let her believe that it was ended and he had cautioned Maglor in this area too before he left. He said that a scorned female was double trouble.

 

Given my inattentive unfocused state I was staying intermittently between bouts at the New Imladris and my homestead. Elrond came with me when I went back to and fro and the donkey and Mearas followed too in my wake. Elrond became my shadow watching over me like a hawk, trying to distract me out of my increasingly morose state. I would sit for hours staring not thinking caught in a vacuum. He come into my bedroom in the morning with honeyed tea and urge me to wash and dress and take me on excursions to the village or see some new puppies that had been born at one of the local farms.

 

But it was all to no avail, Elrond knew and I did too all my hope hung on word from Maglor. I tried to be patient but I began to wonder if I had dreamed all that had happened between myself and him and that perhaps now he was happily settled in Formenos with his wife. Elrond scoffed and holding me shook my shoulders for thinking such things. I acceded to his greater knowledge of Maglor than I but secretly doubt gnawed at me in the dark hours in the night. I knew realistically that I should face up to the fact that according to the terms of the reclamation order he would be expected to return to the marital bed and resume his conjugal duties. We had spoken of it before he left; he was abhorred to hear me to speak of such things but I told him it was better we both face up to what would be expected of him. My heart splintered a little more thinking about it though.

 

It was coming up to the fourth month after he left and Elrond had a letter, I was sitting in his study in New Imladris. He came into the room proffering it to me. I shook my head,

“No, you read it”, I asked him I was shaking when he opened it. It was addressed to Elrond not myself and I thought that odd.

 

“Dear Father,

I hope this letter finds you and your household well. Summer has fully bloomed here in the north and I am finding Formenos comfortable and pleasant with my wife and family around us. The crops will be ripe for harvesting in another couple of months and until then my time has been passed with summer parties, and festivities. It really is a beautiful summer here.

I hope everything is well with you in New Imladris and our dear friends. Remember me to them all particularly to those that you especially hold dear, you are always in my thoughts.

I will be in Tirion with my Family and Wife for the early summer festival, I had hoped if you are there to see your wife and other family members that we would be able to meet, I shall be attending on the following dates………….. My wife wishes to convey her warm wishes to you also and convey our happy news. She is with child and hopes to be delivered come late spring, early summer next year. With fond wishes and blessings.

Maglor.

Ps I did not tell you I have taken up the harp again. I find the Suya Enda especially comforting and dear to me”.

 

I heard nothing after ‘come late spring early, summer next year’. I some how found myself sitting on the floor. Elrond picked me up and laid me down on the low chaise. He ran to get brandy and made me sit up and sip it. I could hear his voice talking to servants hastily, then he was holding my face speaking earnestly to me hugging me to him but I heard nothing. My world had upended, and I was spinning and rotating so fast I could collect no thoughts or bring myself back to conscious awareness. The sleeping potion he gave me thankfully put me under any obligation to try to be compos mentis until the next morning.

 

I woke late, I knew from the sun being full up. Elrond was dozing in a chair by the bed, and for a few seconds I wondered why he was there and why I had woken so late. Moments later I felt the ragged wound in my hurt reawaken and pierce me, Elrond woke with a start and looked at me alarmed.

 

“You're awake, I’ll send for breakfast”

“Have you been here all night?”

“Yes” he said sheepishly

“You shouldn’t have”,

“I had to”.

We said nothing until breakfast came.

I couldn’t eat much and sipped my tea, Elrond had put some sort of sedative in it.

“You can’t keep me drugged”, I said.

He sighed,

“Ella you were very distressed”,

“I should go, I’d better get back, I have commissions to work on”,

“No! I will not hear of”, Elrond cut through,

“What’s the point?”, I shouted at him, “A CHILD! , A CHILD! did you not hear?” I screamed as I threw the tea cup with all my might at the far wall, it crashed spectacularly.

“You must have faith”, Elrond pleaded taking my hands,

“What does it mean?, TELL ME!”, I demanded my voice rising as I pulled away from him.

He held onto my hands looking imploring at me, “It may be just gossip Ella, we do not know for sure until we hear the truth from Maglor”,

“TELL ME”, I shouted ignoring him.

“It means that a child is testament of an accord and the reclamation is resolved and …. Maglor will not have to face being imprisoned again”,

“AND?”, I said,

“That…. that they shall live together as husband and wife again”.

“And he will never come back”, I finished, tears now spilling down my face, as I turned and buried my face in the pillows. Elrond stroked my hair gently, and soothed endearments to me.

When my sobs had abated some what he turned me and pulled me in to his embrace and would counter no protests from me as he rocked me too and fro like a child who had fallen down and hurt their knee and now needed comfort.

“It was always going to be difficult for us wasn’t it?” I said

“Yes”, he said simply, Eonwe himself would have come to collect him if he had ignored the reclamation order. He could not have stayed with you under any circumstances”.

“Thats...hic….thats..wwwwhy you told him…. to hic… return”.

“Yes I knew there was only a slim chance but nonetheless a chance. We had to take it and play the card dealt to us”.

He spoke against my head, “Believe me when I say this Ella, I know him and there is more to this than meets the eye, there is some subterfuge happening here, what I cannot say but I know that Maglor truly loves you and I have, never, never, seen in all my years the flame of love and passion arise so high between two as I saw arise between you and Maglor. If there is a child, there will be and explanation, I know this, I would forfeit my life on it. Please, please please! Ella, try to read between the lines. do you not see he has had to be very circumspect so as to not arise suspicion. He probably had to pen such a letter with on lookers seeing what he was writing. I have told you before it will be quadrupedally hard if they hear any suspicion that his affections for you are not long severed and dead. He is merely trying to play into this ploy by writing such a letter. He loves you dearly believe me. Please, please believe that”.

“It seems to me she has got exactly what she wanted”.

“No, No it may seem that way Elrond chided me. Listen to me Ella, before Maglor left we talked privately, it was best not to get your hopes up, but we agreed if he desperately needed to see you he would send word in a code”.

“Code”, I repeated,

“In the song, ‘Suya Enda’, we agreed if he should include mention of it that then ….”

“Tell me… the words”, I said cutting through,

 

‘I hear my heart beat

I wait as your breath clouds the morning air,

I breathe you into me,

Lying on the forest floor together,

the world is stilled,

as our spirits twine’.

 

I looked at Elrond stunned, tears brimming in my eyes,

“Its beautiful”, I sobbed.

“He loves you Ella never, never, doubt it. You shall have to come as part of my retinue though, Firiel, probably would be a good name incognito and I think a scribe would suffice for your station, that will give you access to courtly life but merely in the background. We shall have to brush you up on court etiquette, manners etc, who to bow and courtesy to. Clothes we will get some made for you as soon as we arrive”.

“I heard Elrond as if from a distance not fully taking in what he was saying, “But, but I said I don’t understand”,

“We must make plans to go to Tirion.”,

“We?”, I said

“Of course, come Ella, he has sent word, he want to see you, we must give him grace enough to hear him out and bring some sort of reason and explanation to all this. I have told you before there's is no love match, I believe her or her family seek to gain from this in some way, either financially or socially. What they truly want I am not sure but my heart tells me that we must wait this out till their hand turns and we see what it is they are now hiding. It is only then we will know how to strike a path and position ourselves”.

“You make it sound like a war stratagems”,

“In a way it is but they don’t know that I am a chief strategist and war lord, or use to be in Endor.

We must bear with things a deal longer Ella. After what you told of Olwe’s interest in Maglor and you in Alqualonde I believe there is some political manoeuvrings going on here”.

“Really”, I said,

“Yes indeed, Olwe may seem benign and endearing on the surface but he is an astute leader and kings do not become kings without political savvy and acumen. The high king is married to his sister and he knows Finarfin answers to her. The link that is lacking as to why, or how this connects to Maglor or his family. I believe his wife is behind this!”.

I looked at Elrond surprised, “You do?”,

“Yes, but what for I do not know, believe me it certainly is not Maglor back as husband. I have already sent word months ago to some of my household in Tirion to start quietly asking around”,

“You have” feeling surprised at my friends deviousness.

“I’ll wager too that attack in Alqualonde was set up by if not Olwe someone in his court”.

“Why?” I said, alarmed,

“To shut you up, scare you, when are ever such tactics used?”.

“Well that didn’t work”, I said.

“No but you must assure me you will use no such intervention when we get to Tirion”,

“So if I am just about to be ravished, I should what, give in gracefully?”,

“You know of what I speak, you have been constrained to do so by the powers themselves in this matter, and stars above there are enough complications without divulging your heritage and face accusations of interfering and coercion between the Eldar race and its peoples”.

 

I thought back to Olwe, finding it hard to imagine him giving orders like that.

“I don’t understand”, I said “What in Valor’s name is going on?”,

“It is just the politics of courtly life Ella”, Elrond laughed. He had become more animated from our conversation than I had seen him in months.

“I think you enjoy all this intrigue, don’t you?”,

He smiled ruefully, “Truth to tell, I enjoy the sparring of it, I must admit”.

 

“Tirion”, I thought, I sobered at that as it began to dawn on me the magnitude of what I was facing. I who had never been part of courtly life. The thought terrified me of meeting Elrond’s illustrious relatives and Maglor’s family to boot.

“Friend”, I said, “I cannot imagine how will I mange?”

“Do not worry you will have me”.

We set out in two days.

Chapter 10: Tirion

Elrond and Ella, arrive in Tirion and it begins to dawn that the context of what she has been drawn into are far deeper and wider than she could ever have imagined.

Read Chapter 10: Tirion

Tirion

Most of Elrond’s household had decamped to Tirion with Celebrian and taken the good horses. I had the Mearas and he would tolerate no other rider so there was only the donkey left for Elrond. He said it was not a problem. But that first that first morning walking along on my Mearas and the donkey trailing behind jogging with Elrond’s astride him, legs nearly touching the ground I stifled my sniggering behind my hands and Elrond bless him was stoically trying to humour my sniggering and at times out right laughter at his predicament. We stayed away from the main road and meandered through the countryside camping and washing in rivers and pools and the occasional small taverns. The climate in Valinor was temperate and the seasons not unduly varied or severe. We had no agenda expect to get to Tirion before mid summer. From there Elrond would send a missive to Maglor we had arrived.

 

We let the Mearas and donkey go a mile or so before the city gates. They would find have no problem fending for themselves and the Mearas would wander wherever he wished. We lugged and pulled the luggage we had bought with us up towards the city walls which had come into splendid view when we had come around the bend. Tirion on Tuna, its green hill stood above the city and at its pinnacle was Elrond told me was Ingwe’s tower the Mindon Eldalieva whose bright lanterns shone out dazzlingly. The buildings looked as monumental as before, all worked in alabaster stone and marble work. Everywhere there were arches and soaring steeples and balustrades and impossible architecture that seeming to balance itself on precarious angles that should not have been impossible. Light was refracted from golden roof tops and stained glass window, the paved streets glittered with embedded diamonds and stretching out to meet us were the crystal stairs which cascaded down to the green meadow at its feet. This was the seat of the High King of the Noldor, Finarfin and the white tree Galathillion gifted by Yavanna herself. I had been here once before at Maglor’s trail but had not understood what I was seeing just being simply over awed by by the sheer grandeur and beauty. But now I had the heir to Fingolfin’s line and so to Finwe, first high King of all the Noldor with me.

 

I looked at my friend anew as he spoke of the city’s history and thus his linage. I knew him simply as my friend but in context with this city of the high elves of Valinor and by birthright his home, I saw his  majesty revealed and wondered how I had not seen it before. He walked with an upright posture and solemn gait pointing out sights and views to me. It had not occurred to me before but here I was walking with last high King, by default, over all the Elves in Endor.

 

We walked through the city walls upon the crystal staircase and we stopped as porters came to help us with our luggage and Elrond dealt with them. As I waited I looked around and pondered that this was also the city where the Maglor and his brothers had taken their dreadful oath and the first of the fractures within the Nolder had taken place. It was fitting I thought that they had wanted to bring Maglor here for the trial and also fitting that they wanted to see his restitution in full here also. The price that he was to pay for his crimes was a public spectacle, a show, but I could see now why it was needed. The fracture of the Noldor had come with a very high cost, a split of a third of the populace of Valinor and genocide of a city, betrayal of kinsmen and family, and futile deaths in an attempt to what? restore honour, capture some trinkets? Now with the returning kindred Valirnorian society was once more destabilising, family ties and marriages not as enduring or permanent as some had believed. I thought to my own situation and saw keenly why our small love affair would be expected to be sacrificed on the alter of the greater good of a society and its stability. Who did I really think I was to oppose this? I was no one.

 

Elrond came back and spoke my name and I came back from my musings and wobbled slightly unsteady from looking up. He caught my elbow and looked at me questioningly. He said I was probably dizzy because I was susceptible to the spells of enchantment woven around the buildings that the architects had used. I agreed but silently my heart misgave me It was beginning to dawn on me I was totally out of my depth, perhaps we should turn around and go home now, it would be far less embarrassing I thought and sighed.

 

Our lodgings were well away from the palace for us on the second level of the city near the embroidery clothing quarter with some fine rooms with a view of the hill of Tuna and the palace.

I was still deep in thought when Elrond came to my rooms, and reminded me that I had an appointment with the dressmakers that afternoon. I was not looking forward to being prodded and poked but it was all part of the spectacle and what would be required. I would have to go along with the whole charade I thought. I smiled weakly trying to be positive.

The dressmakers was partially built on an under ground labyrinth of rooms stacked ceiling high with bolts of beautiful cloth and yarn, mannequins stood around half cloth stitched and pinned onto them. The establishment was run by two elleth who seemed inquisitive and friendly and very gossipy.

They started by putting different colours of cloth up against my face as I peered at myself in a mirror near a window bringing in natural light. They placed a number of colours against my skin but quickly decided green of any shade was not my colour as it clashed with my tanned skin. Unfortunate for me as it was a popular spring time colour for the festival in Tirion. They chided me on being so brown, and said paleness was a requisite for any noble lady. I nodded politely a little irked. Red or any of its shades were seen as taboo and orange and yellow and all their plethora of hues were seen as positively ghastly. As was beginning to feel somewhat insulted when they bought out a bolt of dark blue velvet, and laid it across my shoulder and stood back looking at me in the mirror. I looked at them both through the mirror and saw they were nodding their heads in unison. I looked back at myself, the fabric was beautiful with a depth and richness I had rarely seen, it had a peach down texture to it and its folds were an inky indigo and where the light hit it glowed a burnished deep true blue. I looked at my face and saw a stranger looking back at me with wide amber tinted eyes and sharp cheeks bones and a fine nose and feminine pout to her mouth. The cloth seemed to give my hair a dark glimmer and my skin shone pale and ethereal.

They both clapped their hands. They had found my colour. They then started talking about trimmings and beading excitedly and brought out some beautiful silver trimmings. Then they pulling and pushing me to wards the fitting rooms where they made me strip down to my underwear. I was wearing breast bindings and they started pulling and unravelling them. I protested and asked if it was necessary to remove them and they assured me it was as as they needed to see my natural shape as the gowns they were making would have hidden support in them. I felt embarrassed standing there with my arms out stretched as they took under and above breast measurements and then proceed to discuss in front of me the natural swell of my under breast to my nipples and how they would have to accommodate more support in this area so as to keep a smooth line. In order to demonstrate one of them perked one breast up and placed a pencil under it and pointed tout he swell of out my breasts kept it firmly in place and that corrective measures would be needed to lift this area. I felt like a prize cow whose udders were being examined. I just looked up at the ceiling hugging my breasts hoping it would soon be over

My head ached already and I told them I would leave things in their good hands and return in two

days time. They said that was not necessary as their garments always fitted correctly and they would be delivered by courier. They nodded already discussing neck and hem lengths. I cautioned them nothing too low in the decollage or too ridiculous to move in and left to return to our lodgings and to lie down before supper.

When I got there Elrond was not back from his excursion to visit his relatives and to get a lay of the land. I lay on the bed and dozed wondering what I had got myself into. I who knew nothing about polite society and the codes it ran itself by. Apparently there were twenty different types of bows and curtseys according to rank and position. This was ridiculous I thought, I was bound to get it all wrong and embarrass myself and Elrond to boot and utterly show myself up as country hack.

Knock, a familiar voice beckoned to come in.

He turned the door handle and came and sat on the bed.

“How did it go?” I said,

“Interesting I have found out quite a bit”.

I sat up attentively.

“Well It seems Maglor’s wife has not been as forthcoming about her situation as she could have been. Indeed, her tactics have been all along to ensnare Maglor into a plot which would cover up her own misdeeds and see to it her reputation and economic prospects were secured. She is with child indeed but the father is another ellon and not Maglor.”

I gasped.

“When she she had found her self with child she hatched this plan with her cousin who is married to one of the courtiers in Olwe’s court and is particularly favoured by Earwen, Finarfin’s wife. Consequently in order to cover up the unplanned pregnancy and to secure her reputation she ensnared Maglor back to Formenos under pretence of restoring their marriage under the pretence of love. Apparently she was all tears and pleading before Earwen and she in turn spoke to her brother and then he to Finarfin. Finarfin indeed does see the benefit does not even now know he was duped into the situation. So as I said, Maglor was coerced when he got to Formenos, to either agree to the pretence or face being imprisoned again and of course now she has both a restored marriage and a privileged position as part of one of the leading house of the nobility”.

“So thats why Olwe was fishing around asking me questions about Maglor”.

“But what of his family? Do they agree to this?”,

“Yes the nobility understand arranged marriages and this is one that has already taken place. They want Magor free and so they have discretely decided to turn a blind eye. Anyway in a year or so it will be expected that both she and Maglor will return to if not their formers lives, resume relations with their former paramours. It is not so unusual a set of circumstances said Elrond catching my crest fallen face”.

“Actually I think it all rather sordid”, I spate out vehemently.

“Oh Ella I know it may seem it, but… but can you not see it would be a way of being with Maglor”.

“You mean take the crumbs she leaves me I said coldly”.

Elrond shook his head and took my hand squeezing, “Think on it”, he said.

I sighed, I surely could not believe Maglor would accept such strictures but what could he do, if he did not agree to them he would be imprisoned again. We were stuck in an impossible situation.

I changed the subject realising I must not hog all the attention and that Elrond had gone on other matters this day.

“How is Celebrian?”,

Now he sighed, “She would not see me”.

“Why?” I asked shocked,

Elrond, did not immediately reply and I looked at him questioningly.

When he looked back at me I saw his gaze filled with a depth of longing and hurt I had not expected.

“She has taken a lover, in Tirion,”.

“Oh”, I said shocked,

“Stories found there way to me before we came here”.

I thought of the last year or so that I have known Maglor and Elrond had visited me, I had been so engaged with the dramas of my own life I had not sort to avail or help my friend with his own.

“Why did you not tell me until now?” I asked softly,

He looked at me guiltily again his soft grey gaze filled with culpability.

“I too have not honoured our marriage bed”.

“Was this why she left?” ,

“No it happened after I heard about her and her lover, a long time after I heard actually. It was just random couplings to satisfy the body. She left because I could not give her the love she craved, she deserved, needed, I let her down, again, again, now...… now she wishes to terminate our marriage under terms of desertion and I cannot blame her”.

“But, but I don’t understand” I said perplexed.

“Haven’t you heard that is the done thing now here in Aman. So many returnees who no longer fit. Their spouses are suing them for desertion, for staying in Endor for so long”.

“Stars” I explained

I sighed and shook my head, “You have to speak to her, to her and her lover. If you hold any hope for reconciliation you have to face this, you have to speak to her”.

Elrond laughed, “Now you give me my own advice”.

“Yes but will you heed it? I asked.

“Is there anyone who could help you speak to her on your behalf, pave the way? What of your mother in law I asked, is she approachable?”

“This is where all the information about Maglor came from, she says that Celebrian is adamant that our marriage is over, and that her lover and herself have set up house in Tirion and she plans never to return. There is even talk of a child, she wants to go to Lorien to restore her fractured womb”.

“Oh friend I said, I am so sorry, at least she could have told you herself. She will come around, surely?”.

“Her mother says I must wait for it to fizzle out, she herself has tried to speak sense to her daughter”.

“So she is on your side?”,

“If you can call it that, she wants what she feels is best for Celebrian and she sees this as Celebrian running away and not facing her obligations and duty. But also not facing me and all that I remind her of”.

We both sighed.

“It seems we are both caught up in conundrums outside our control”, I said.

“What of her father, can he help?”,

Elrond rolled his eyes, “He would be no help rather I feel he has given credence to Celebrian’s behaviour”.

“How so?” I asked,

“He is intent on bedding every young available elleth he can put his hands on and some married ones too, his wife says”.

“What in stars name is going on!”, I exclaimed,

“With the returnees coming back they bring new ways and ideas, although not received well, it disturbs deeply rooted cultural mores.

“But I said, I thought bonding and being wed for life were innate qualities imbued in the Eldar by Eru himself, rather than codes of conduct?”,

“If truth be told for many in the old world they were not, the native Silvan population of Endor were highly promiscuous according to Valinorian standards and exchanged partners as freely as deciding what to have for dinner, and did not hold marriage as a bond to be endured eternally”.

“Oh , I said, but what of Celebrian can you not get to see her, will she be at the inaugural ball?”.

“All the great and good of Turin will be there, which reminds me I must send a missive off to Maglor telling him of our attendance”.

Elrond left and I sat on the bed pondering.

My heart beat at the thought of seeing Maglor again, and I reminded myself it would not be like it was before and I should restrain my self to be more circumspect as we would be in company and noble company at that. It reminded me also that how little I really knew Maglor and his background. He was a Prince of the noble line of Feanor and Finwe his grandfather, the founding lines of Valinorian society.

 

Chapter 11: A Little Night Music.

Well here we get to the penultimate chapter save for the Epilogue. Ella finally meets Maglor again and events beyond her control play out!

Read Chapter 11: A Little Night Music.

A Little Night music.

The inaugural ball was to be held in two days time we still had not hear back from Maglor, I was on pins waiting for my gowns to arrive and Elrond had gone out up to the palace again to organise our invitations and whatever needed doing for the ball. I was to go as part of his house hold and introduced as one of his valued retainers. My gowns did not arrive until late and I felt too tired and rung out thinking about what would happen at the ball to unpack and look at them.

 

The day came and I started getting ready in the afternoon and at last took up the courage to open the long boxes that had come from the dressmakers the day before. I had several gowns hanging on the wardrobe doors and splayed out across the bed before I knew it. To say that they were astonishingly beautiful would be an underestimate. They were artfully and yet modestly designed but with such an eye to detail that one could not doubt their quality. Pearl buttons dyed the exact shad of lavender blue traced down the back of one gown, swirls of cut lace traced the sleeves of another. But the piece de resistance was the blue velvet gown, it skimmed the waist laced at the back and the

de- collage was modestly cut in a v shaped neckline that swooped down at the back finished with the most beautiful silver beaded trim that was not too lavish for a retainer as I was supposed to be of Elrond’s household.

 

I stood and looked at myself, bemused at my appearance, yes I thought as I twirled to and fro, I would more than do! A servant helped me with my hair and placed a fine circlet of mithril Elrond had gifted me. He had placed it in a small velvet box and I had not thought to look at it until now. It was light as air and made to look like intricately woven feathers artfully crafted to twirl and entwine. It shone and glittered from every angle. It was a magnificent gift.

 

Elrond came to fetch met in the early evening and stood awe struck when he opened the door. I looked for any subterfuge but he was genuinely dumb stuck in a pleasant manner and kept looking at me as we made our way up to the palace as if he had to keep appraising himself it really was me.

I thought he looked more kingly and stately than I had ever seen him. His robes were of a burnished copper that was dyed to a dark burnt oak at the edges finished by burnished bronze circlet. He wore his hair long and unadorned by braids as was the fashion in formal situations. I was glad of his presence and measured assurance. Surely nothing could go wrong with him by my side.

 

As we walked towards the palace I could feel the excitement begin to cause butterflies in my stomach, just the vestibule itself was awe striking with shimmering glass domes above my head and crystal and glass mirrors everywhere. A crowd was beginning to form and I waited at Elrond’s side for us to be introduced. I was to be called the Lady Firiel. I held onto Elrond’s form arm my fingers clutching the silk cloth, he must have felt my nervousness and he reassuringly covered my hand with his gently squeezing it. The moment came, The Lord Elrond Earendilion and The Lady Firiel, our names were called out as we stepped forth into the ballroom proper and walked forward down a small flight of shallow steps as every crown covered head head turned towards us. My heart was beating furiously but Elrond took command with no hesitation and glided us both across the room to the first of many dignitaries he introduced us to. Everywhere the there was the low murmurer of polite conversation and tinkling glasses as the herald at the door continued to call out names.

 

If I was awe struck at the vestibule this room was ten times more astonishing. The ceiling seemed to be a glass dome open to the sky, with glass panes opening out like a water lily rimmed with gold. The floor shimmered with rivers of golden streaked marble that flowed and curled in rivulets. The walls were sheet glass and interspersed with mirrors from floor to ceiling. It was as if I was in a kaleidoscope so much light and reflection was being refracted around me.

“Come" Elrond said, “I think my mother and father in law have arrived".

I gulped, as Elrond turned me around as the crowds began to part and there in front of us were the Lord and Lady of the Galadrim as tall and imposing as I had imagined. They were both dressed in white, and she had a fine circlet of diamonds in her golden hair that fell in cascades of curls over her shoulders and down her back.

I was dumbstruck and didn’t hear what Elrond said or the introduction so caught was I by the Lady’s imperious stare, it was as if she could see inside me. I just bobbed a curtsey and mumbled something polite I hoped and before I knew it they were moving on.

“Well that went well”, said Elrond.

“Did it?” I questioned.

“Yes did you not see Celeborn measuring you up as if you were a tasty morsel, we had better keep you out of his way. What did you think of my step mother? She’s quite formidable isn’t she?”.

“Just a bit I laughed, “Actually I felt rather exposed as if she was looking inside me and asking me things”.

“Qswane, she uses it on everyone. What was she asking you, if you don’t telling me?

“No not at all, she asked me, can you not, or will you not love him?”,

“Strange”.

 

Before I could answer someone else was introducing us to another circle of people. As everyone talked I started inadvertently scanning the room. In my heart I knew whom I was looking for. Many in the house of Finarfin had golden hair but every dark haired ellon drew my gaze. Then I saw him, I held my breath, staring, there he was Maglor, tall and handsome, dressed in the finest bright red velvet and gold brocade of the house of Fearnor. He looked every inch the prince he was. We stared at one another across the room caught in each others gaze mesmerised as if we were the only people present. But of course we were not, a tall willowy elleth touch him on the arm and held her hand there speaking to him, She was just what I had imagined a tall, lithe, pale Noldarian beauty, with a haughty air, dressed in pale green gossamer floaty fabric, to try to modestly hide her swollen belly I thought. He turned to her momentarily and listened then looked back at me and then turned again and was gone lost in the crowd. I stood as someone struck dead until Elrond touched my shoulder. He looked over my head in the direction of my gaze.

“Maglor you saw him?” I nodded.

“Come we must introduce ourselves”,

“I can’t I said, Nooowah!, I can’t”, I whimpered.

Elrond looked at me kindly, “Alright then but will you excuse me while I go to reacquaint myself? In the meanwhile let me introduce you to some one who will keep you company while I am away”.

Elrond turned me around and drew me towards another group and caught the elbow of a tall blonde Lord.

“Ah here she is, hello”, he said amiably, “you must be Firiel, Elrond has already told me about you. You ride a Mearas don’t you?”

I nodded wondering who this very friendly ellon was?.

“Lady Firiel may I introduce you to King Finrod Felagund of the house of Finarfin”, Elrond said with a flourish.

Finrod bowed low with a graceful elegance.

“I am pleased to meet your acquaintance my lady, may I keep you company whilst the Lord Elrond is occupied?”,

I nodded smiling, I liked him already.

I found Finrod delightful company, he was was soon making me laugh, joking about his ancestors and relations, saying there were so many High Kings here they should have badges on in order of chronology and merit for good deeds done, so people wouldn’t get them mixed up.

Then I said he must have first place as his good deeds out weighed them all. He laughed uproariously at that and then, started to tell me about his latest project. Many of the returnees to Turin were Noldo and Finrod said he was soliciting help and support for them among the court and bending his father, the King’s ear about them. His project was a small alms house where they could rest and stay on their return if they had no family to receive them or wanted them.

I wondered how he could be related to the imperious Galadriel and the haughty Finarfin?

After about twenty minutes Elrond came back and thanked Finrod for his care of me and drew me surreptitiously to the side of the room.

 

“Maglor will be waiting in one of the rooms on the upper floor. Can you find your way there? The door will be ajar”,

“I think so. Where will you be?”,

“I need to wait for Celebrian”,

“Of course”, I said.

 

I slipped through the crowd and made my way up the long flight of steps to the upper floor. I was on the third floor and was making my way when Galadriel of all people was making her way towards me. She was talking to another elleth when I heard a whisper in my ear.

 

“Come with me” it said, “unless you want to face my very disgruntled wife” a voice whispered.

I acceded, knowing I had no choice.

I was drawn into atrium of a huge hallway.

“She never comes to my quarters, out of bounds, we agreed “, said Celeborn, Galadriel’s spouse. who stood tall and imposing next to me.

 

He opened the ornate door into a large room. Everywhere was gilt and turquoise and pale cream furnishing and colours. There was a balcony out to an enclosed garden. It was beautiful.

I still kept scanning around now looking up at the embellished ceiling which I realised to my embarrassment had rather naughty display of cavorting couples painted on it.

 

“My wife has told me about you that you bedded the kin slayer, or rather he bedded you. Was that my son in laws intention all along I wonder? But now I see you I must admit I do see the attraction”.

 

I looked at him astonished he should talk to me in such a manner. I felt his hand caress my neck as he drew my hair back over my shoulder and blew onto my chest. I jumped and looked at him, trying to glare.

 

“I should go” I said thank you for your help.

 

He ignored me completely and got up and handed me a crystal glass of sparkling wine, I gulped it in my nervousness, it tasted delicious. He laughed and his blue eyes crinkled mischievously,

 

“Come”, he said. He led me through to another room, “Come see the view from the other balcony”.

 

I hesitated, knowing I had drunk far to fast and furiously, my head spun, before I knew it though he was drawing me into the other room towards a large bed patting for me to sit on it. He caressed my neck and face again and blew on my chest and then was was kissing my neck and shoulder as he pulled down my gown down over my shoulder. What was happening I thought. I stopped his hand and pulled my dress up which he immediately pulled down again. Then I felt his hand lifting my skirts caressing my thighs. I saw him revealing himself stroking his member slowly, salaciously If I didn’t do some thing now to stop this I knew I wouldn’t be able to.

 

I got up and with a strength I didn’t know I had toppled Celeborn back onto the bed, the last sight I had of him was with his breeches around his knees trying to pull them up and come after me.I ran out in to the corridor leaving I laughed, half in relief half in humour at the ridiculous of what had just happened.

 

I grabbed the bannister to the upper rooms and hurriedly skipped up the stairs to the next level. I found the room with the door ajar and hesitated, I thought to knock then decided just to push the door open. Maglor was sitting on the bed with his back to me and spun around quickly as I came in. I shut the door and rested back on it. He came to me and pulled me to him kissing my mouth, my neck whispering endearments and protestations of love. I clung to him as we stumbled to the bed. Before we knew it we were frantically untying, unlacing and pulling off our clothes. His naked skin on mine felt so hot I felt seared by it and we both stilled ourselves relishing the feel of our bodies against one another again. He held my face and looked deeply into my eyes. I looked back giving him full access to my mind and heart as he did with me relishing the bond between us. His thoughts touched mine and pinned me to the bed as much as his body did. I saw the sorrow and the longing but also the passion and desire. I could see that he didn’t love his wife but was grateful to be back amongst his family. I could see that he had found position and standing again but I could see how torn he was within himself. I kissed him then and we both gave ourselves up to our bodies, giving in fully to our carnal natures with no trace of shame as we groaned and gasped, he thrusting hard into me as we raced to our completion.

 

Later we lay dazed in the euphoric bliss of the afterglow he held me to him and I lay my head on his chest legs entwined with his.

“I must go”. he said.

“Surely not so soon?”.

“I will be looked for”.

He got up and started to dress I watched him forlornly.

“When will we see one another again?”,

“I don’t know, I will send word”.

“I thought you wanted to tell me something”,

“You already know Elrond told me, the child is not mine”,

“Are you staying with her then?” I asked inflammatorily.

He said nothing just grasped the head board and looked at me imploringly.

“You must try to understand Ella”,

“I understand more than you think”, I said, “I understand what we have just done, I understand your body inside mine, Tell me what was this I asked, what were we just doing? Was it just fucking for you?” I shouted,

“Ella”, please he pleaded with me, there were tears now in his eyes. “You.. you…. don’t understand the wrong I have done”.

“Why… why do you have to go?”, I pleaded,

“I…..I cannot, … ssstay... his voice broke and tears spilled down his face, he grabbed me holding the bed sheet around me whispering to may hair, forgive me, Ella, he wept, Forgive me, I have shamed myself by lying with you and taking my pleasure when I should have been strong enough to resist and spare you this wrong and pain to your heart. You who are pure and beautiful”.

 

We were both weeping openly clutching one another in despair our foreheads pressed together, our arms and hands pressing, grasping for purchase on one another.

“Stay!” I said,

“I….. ca ca….cannot…..”, he kissed my mouth tenderly, brokenly, as sobs wrecked him and then tearing himself from me and pushing me away to arms length he broke free from my grasp turned and stumbled, righting himself on the door frame. As he turned the handle, I saw him trying to gather his composure bracing his shoulders to steady himself, the door clicked shut and I stared after him, my world dismembered and broken around me.

 

I sat there immobilised for many minutes then realised I must dress and find Elrond, I just wanted to leave. I dressed fumbling and absent-mindedly, I felt as if I was in slow motion and I couldn’t find the mithral circlet any where. I had more problems than that though, I couldn’t for the life of me lace the back of my gown unaided.

I groaned. “Fuck!”, I swore.

“That is not polite language for a noble lady”,

Elrond stood at the door smiling.

“Oh thank Eru”, I said, trying to wipe the evidence of tears away with the back of my hand.

“What happened to you?”, I said a dark stain of liquid was pooling on the silk of his outer robe,

“Celebrian!. I mean she through it over me, wine!”, He added as if to explain.

“Why” I asked?,

“Its a long story but I don’t think she was happy seeing me here tonight and she always had an irascible temper that could blow up rather quickly”.

“Oh I am sorry my friend”,

“No matter now what about you?”,

“How did it go with Maglor?”,

Elrond looked at the bed taking in the scene, the sheets unmade, stained, and crumpled, and then quickly looked back at me dropping his gaze when he saw the sorrow written large on my face.

“It was … it… … he is gone”,…. I said flatly, feeling ashen and empty.

I looked at the bed again and Elrond’s gaze followed mine, I shook my head,

“He has taken up his life, a life he had before you and me came into it. I can’t blame him, he has been wandering for so long the pull of a family life, his brothers and parents and a place of security and surety”…. My voice trailed off.

Elrond pulled me to him, “I am truly sorry Ella”, he stroked my hair and I lay on his shoulder utterly defeated.

“Come” he said diplomatically, “shall I help you with your gown?”, and promptly came over and knelt down by the chair I was sitting on.

“Ohhwah, your hands are cold”, I said as I turned around to give him access to the back of my gown.

“And I am all sticky too he said, that what comes with having a full glass of red wine thrown at you and it dripping slowly down your neck. May I clean myself up first?”,

“Yes there’s a bathroom over there”, I pointed.

When came back he had stripped off his outer garments and was bared chested and was carry his ruined cloak.

“Most of it went down my neck”, he smiled, “So I just need to dry off for a bit”.

I watched him as he came towards me his body was muscled more than Maglor’s and battled hardened with scars and there were soft dark hairs on his chest that traced down his front.

I dropped my gaze. “I didn’t know you had so many scars”, I said,

“It comes with the territory”, being a warlord he said drolly,

“What is this one?”,

I ghosted over a particular scar that traced around his hip dipping below the waistline of his breeches.

“Oh that it nearly emasculated me but not quite, I lived to marry and produce heirs”. He laughed.

“Are you ready?”, he said looking at me,

“Oh yes, sorry”, I said tearing my gaze away from him.

I turned around and heard him muttering that he would have to undo all the laces and begin again as they were all in such a tangle.

He was kneeling down behind me and had nearly finished unlacing all the ties and I was clutching the front part of my gown to my torso when the door burst open.Celebrian stood there glaring menacingly at us.We both looked back at her incredulously.

“How could you!”, she shouted vehemently, “YOU!... you come to me asking for forgiveness and all the time you are cuckolding me with a... a..STRUMPET!” she spat the last word out then taking the hold of the door handle slammed it with as much furiousness as she could mange and was gone.

Neither of us had moved a muscle.

I turned around, “Quickly, go after her”.

“No it is of no use Ella, it is already to late, I know where I stand”, said Elrond shaking his head wearily.

“I’m sorry”, I said again not really knowing what else to say.

“It is not your fault Ella”,

“but if she hadn’t caught us here……”,

“Ella sometimes we have to face the inevitable!” he said resignedly.

“I sighed nodding. I suppose From her point of we must have looked, well very……”

“Culpable?” he said dryly.

 

He said no more, what more was there to say, we had both of us come to Tirion for a resolution of our problems and now it seemed we both had it. He finished lacing my gown and I went to the bathroom to wash and try to fix what there was left of my appearance.

When I returned Elrond said, “Come let down, there is food and dancing downstairs”.

“Oh do we have to, I can’t face Maglor again, nor Celeborn”,

“We will sneak around into the garden, come food and drink will make the world a little rosier for us both”.

“What of Celeborn though, what has happened?”,

“Ugh! I groaned, I’ll tell you about on the way down”.

 

We found a quiet spot in the gardens under an arbour, that had fragrant flowers, Elrond had purloined a bottle of wine and glasses and a plateful of food from inside.

We ate in companionable silence both of us contemplating resolutions that we had not expected.

“There you are a voice said”,

It was Finrod and with him a petite elleth, Amarie his wife.

They were both the balm that was needed to restore some of our jaded and fragmented spirits.

Soon we were dancing around the small patio outside the main ballroom. I watched Elrond courteous and elegant with the petite Amaire. He was always so gracious I thought always trying to put others at their ease.

Finrod caught me looking, “He is a handsome ellon is he not?”, without waiting for my answer he continued,

“To think I met his fore mother, Luthien, he looks like her, the same eyes, soft and an ethereal presence about him, not unlike yourself”, he said smiling intriguingly at me.

---

Chapter End Notes

I hoped you like all the angst and heartbreak. I am sorry for making Celeborn such an idiot but just couldn't help it, he he! I had real fun describing Tirion and its architecture!

Chapter 12: Homeward Bound

So after finding answers they had not looked for Elrond and Ella make there way home, what will be next for them?

Read Chapter 12: Homeward Bound

Homeward bound.

 

We walked back slowly, through the empty streets as dawn light the purple sky and the stars started to fade.

“What a debacle its been tonight”, I said sighing heavily,

“It was not all bad though, you enjoyed the dancing with Finrod and Amaire”,

“Yes they are a pleasant couple”,

“They seem so well suited”.

“Hmmm!”,

“Where is your mithril circlet may I ask?”,

I looked up guiltily, “After all the shenanigans tonight I can’t honestly say, sorry", I said forlornly.

“Don’t worry it will turn up”.

I sighed again.

“Will you return back with me, or are you staying here longer”, I asked,

“Yes there is no point in staying”.

We reached our rooms. I turned to Elrond, and deigned a fake curtsey, “Thank you kind sir for a … hmmm! How shall I put it a very interesting evening”.

He laughed, “Indeed It would have been far duller without your company”.

He looked at me and took my hand in his and brushed a light kiss across the back of it.

He still held it in his hand his touch warm and gentle, in the darkened corridor, his grey eyes glinted studying me, his mood turning sombre.

“What?” I laughed trying to return the lighter humour of earlier,

Still holding my hand he touched my cheek with his other hand, I watched him as he caressed my cheek with his fingers touching my bottom lip with his thumb his looking wistful. The only sound was our breathing, I could feel his warm breath on my cheeks. Still staring with an unreadable gaze. I felt him draw closer to me brushing my forehead in a dry kiss.

“Goodnight my lady”, sleep late tomorrow, he said simply as his mouth brushed my forehead.

He let go of my hand and moved away,

“Goodnight my friend”, I said.

 

I didn’t wake until late in the afternoon, and bathed and went to find Elrond, he was downstairs talking to a servant when I found him.

“Your Mithril circlet he said, it was sent down from the palace”.

“Where did they find it?”,

“In Celeborn’s rooms”.

“He’s not here?”, I said suddenly cautious,

“No his wife sent it down”.

“Oh” I groaned, “she will think me a double trollop”,

“Have no fears she knows his idiosyncrasies, that she sent it is her way of saying she knows and does not blame you”.

“How did she know it was mine?” I asked,

“She saw you wearing it, she never misses anything”.

 

We set out later that day in the early evening, we would travel through the night we did not care as the nights here balmy and warm, the Mearas and donkey were waiting for us and we rode astride the Mearas together. I really couldn’t have Elrond bearing the indignity of riding the donkey again so I cajoled and petted the Mearas into letting Elrond sit astride him but behind with strict instructions that Elrond was not to try steering of any sort. A Mearas I told him will not be ridden. “Then how do you ride him?” he asked pursing his lips,

“He merely lets sit me sit astride him and I ask his agreement on direction and pace”.

“Aaah !”,said Elrond smirking “and to think I who have ridden many a warhorse into battle if only I had known”.

I swatted him, “If you don’t want to be back on the donkey or walking you would do well to mark my words, and don’t ever refer to him as a horse, its beneath him”, I said attempting frostiness.

“As my lady wishes”, Elrond gave me a mock bow.

 

It felt good to jest again after all the drama of Tirion and to at last be on our way. My gowns would be sent by courier later and so we decided to load up the donkey with the few bags we had.

It was strange having Elrond riding behind me, he placed a strong arm around me and I could feel his muscled chest through his travelling clothes. As we travelled the dusk grew deeper and I lolled my head against his shoulder as we rode, the stars started to come out and soon we have a blaze of diamonds studding the canopy over our heads.

What are your thoughts he said,

How beautiful the stars are,

I mean…….,

“You mean Maglor,

“You don’t judge me for what we did?”

“No it was inevitable”,

“Was it just sex with us?”,

“It was sex, passion and desire, but it was also love, but not the kind I think that abides, that type of passion spends itself sooner or later, like a flame consuming itself”.

“Yes, I felt when I was with him consumed by a strange type of ferocity as if I was burning myself away”.

“Such is the nature of that type of love”.

“Are there other types”, I said.

“Oh yes there are, there are quiet passions that that keep their themselves bridled within every days quiet needs yet they are every bit as profound and more enduring”.

I turned my head and looked up at him, the stars were reflected in his grey eyes and he looked down at me tenderly.

“Is that what you felt for Celebrian?”,

“It is in my nature to love in such a way”,

“And Celebrian?”,

“Celebrian was and is a force of nature, unbridled as I am bridled”.

“Then were you no match?”,

“Yes we were matched”, he said, “a counterpoint to one another, where she impassioned I calmed, and where I restrained she emboldened me”.

“I see”, I said, “So is it good to have counterpoint?”,

“It can lead to a lively life he laughed quietly. But there is love that is simpler, quieter yet every bit as impassioned and bold when revealed. It is the love of equal kinds and minds and hearts, where ones thought and heart are bent around a dual course. Such love is deeper than the deepest water and if all the stars were given in the heavens for it they would be counted of little worth”.

 

I felt a strange wonder come over as Elrond spoke his words spell binding me with their emotive charge, It seemed he spoke from deep within his spirit and knowing. I felt stilled and lulled in to a trance. We stopped by a small stream and pool and made camp. Elrond took his leave and went to bathe, after I had seen to Mearas and donkey I found him a short while floating in the pool gazing up at the blazing sky.

“Are you going to join me?” he said, still looking up at the heavens.

I walked tentatively into the pool, my under dress billowing out. I was no swimmer and Elrond swam towards me offering me his arms and shoulders to lean on. He drew us out into the middle of the pool and urged me to relax and trust him. He held my head and shoulders and I looked up to the vaulted glory above.

“Varda walks the heavens tonight”, he said.

He slowly without me noticing relaxed his hold on me until I was floating unaided, and flipped on his back at my side. Even the reeds were still and there was no breeze or breathe of wind to break the hushed stillness that fell all around us as we both floated in the starry night our hair streaming out and entangling together. I felt weightless, It seemed as if the heavens and the edges of our little pool coalesced and merged and we were floating above in the sky nothing anchoring us to the earth below. How long we floated like that I did not know, when on the edges of my hearing I heard a strange music that shimmered and vibrated twinkling in harmony with the starry vault all around us. I knew it was Varda’s song and as I became aware of it the night around us deepened and streams of deep violet and indigo bloomed and sway around us and under us. Varda had come, the ladies face shining above me with a benevolence and beauty that smote my heart in adoration.

 

We woke in the early morning asleep on our bed rolls naked apart from blankets drawn up around us. How we had come to be there we did not know. The morning sunshine breaking through the mists come off the water of the pool. The Mearas snickered near to me and tickled my feet, I opened my eyes and soft grey ones looked back at me the wonder of the night before still full in them. We looked away suddenly shy of our naked state and the glory of what we had witnessed.

“What happened?” I said,

“Varda came, she blessed us”,

“Yes” I said.

We said nothing more of the starry night as we made ready and broke our fast but both our hearts were full of wonder and awe and gratitude for Varda.

 

I had been at the New Imladris for a few weeks, I had decided not to go to the farmstead there were too many memories of myself and Maglor there. Elrond understood and did not push me to any decisions on my future for which I was grateful for. We spent most of or part of our days together. He would read to me, or we would walk together in the gardens. His quiet reserved nature was just the balm I needed and I felt more comforted and at ease than I had in a very long time.

I worked on my sculptures and found a re-newed enthusiasm, yet within my spirit there was still the ragged wound of grief over Maglor.

 

One day we were sitting on the veranda over looking the gardens.

“It is right that you grieve” he said,

I looked at him unsure what to say.

“It is not something that can be forgotten and put in a locked draw, it is something you will bear always in your heart, a mark on your soul and his too”.

“Do you think so? Maybe he has he has forgotten me”,

“I cannot believe it so”.

 

A few days later his affirmation was proven true when a horse and rider pulled up at the New Imladris. We had few visitors since we had arrived back and I wondered who it could be. Elrond had already gone to the gates and I watched from the house. The rider wore no distinguishing livery but I could tell he was no courier as his grey horse was fine and the saddle and bridle richly adored with gilt and carvings.

 

Elrond obviously knew him as he threw his arms around him when he saw him. The tall rider threw his hood back as he strode with Elrond across the lawn towards the house and a cascade of vibrant dark red hair cascaded out down over his shoulders. He borne the familiarity of features I knew so well and my heart beat fast as to why he was here and what this could mean.

When they reached me, I looked at Elrond anxiously for explanation,

“Ella let me introduce Maedhros Feanorian, Maglor’s kin and my … before he could finish Maedhros and swooped low into a gracious elegant bow in front of me waiting several moments before standing up again,

“My Lady”, he said, “It is an honour”.

I nodded, a little bemused at his ceremonious and ardent greeting.

“We are honoured too”, I said, “prey tell what brings you so far from home?”,

He stood up straight towering over me looking at me intently for at least a full half minute,

“Maglor was correct, all that is best of dark and bright meet in your aspect and your eyes”.

I stammered a thank you taken back, when he produced a satchel and from it a scroll of parchment tied with a ribbon,

“Maglor wished me to convey this to you in person, my lady….. Ella”

I took the parchment from his hand silently looking at it gravely.

“Forgive me”, he turned to Elrond, I must depart by immediate return, but I will wait and take refreshment with you if I may?”…. He turned to look at me again…. “The lady may wish to return some message or sentiment or…..not!”, he smiled.

“We will be in the house”, said Elrond to me, discretely allowing me the privacy of reading what Maglor had to say to me alone.

 

 

“My beloved, Ella,

There is so much I wanted to say to you in Tirion but could not find the words and the time and situation constrained me. So now I write to you hoping to express some of my heart and that with the sincere hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for the many sins I have committed against you. I want you to know I shall bear out the love I have for you in my heart forever. My fae shall bear its mark clear for all to see unaltered and unreduced in its power or potency. Yet I find I am constrained by powers beyond my control which would force my hand and life into a future and make not of my own doing.

 

I cannot and do not ask you to be part of that stain. My family and I have left grievous injury and mark upon the Eldar and we are all of us been called to rightfully restitutive for the wrong we have done. You who are pure and beautiful and unadulterated should not bear the shame of my family. I could not and should not ask that of you.

 

Yet I remember our love Ella, do not think I have ever forgotten it, your skin, your touch your smile, the nights and days of love we spent together all haunt me and should do. I knew that in touching you, loving you it was wrong of me, yet it felt like an unstoppable force drew me to you and I could not resist.

Please be brave Ella, please do not grieve over me, allow love to once more come into your heart. Your bright, pure nature should and needs to love again, but this time with someone who is worthy of it.

If you wish to return reply to letter Maedhros my brother will bring it to me. He knows all. I have left a small token with him to be given to you. If you can at times wear it and think of me as I will think of you, with kindness and love for all that you gave to me.

Yours Maglor.”

 

I sat for a long time thinking and then got up and found Maedhros and Elrond and asked Maedhros to wait as I penned a return letter. He deferentially swooped his head in an elegant polite gesture of acknowledgement. Elrond looked at me anxiously but I nodded to him that I was alright.

 

I went to Elrond’s study and sat down.

“My dearest Maglor,

My love, I find that I have nothing to forgive you for, you loved, we both did truly and deeply and for that the powers themselves cannot decry or condemn us and Eru himself would not either. I am sorry though for the savage words I spoke to the last time we met, they were said out of my hearts wrath. But know I hold no anger or judgment against you or ever did or will.

I see now that for some though forgiveness and judgment is deemed as demanding a public display as recompense. But know this I would have gladly borne any mark or stain for you, sharing any ignominy with you, any judgment.

 

The mark of our love I shall bear always also, it is not something that can be erased nor forgotten by we two who have felt its passion and fire.

 

Please my love, I ask you to try to take comfort in your family, try to have faith in the morrow and find hope to continue and thereby some level of peace and calm.

Yours Ella.”

 

Maedhros set out within the hour after taking my hand and looking deeply into my eyes as if he were trying to convey something to me then calling me sister kin, he once again swooped down in a deep reverential bow.

 

I stood for a long after he had departed transfixed staring into the middle distance. I had imagined visiting Formenos and meeting all his brothers even the formidable Nerdanel and Feanor. Now I never would. Elrond found me and gently touched my shoulder and concerned drew me to him.

he said, that Maedhros calling me sister kin was a high honour. He said it meant more than a euphemism or endearment, that it meant to call someone this meant that they would given loyalty and support as an honorary Feanorian family member and that the head of the house hold would have sanctioned this honour themselves. I gulped at that! So they all knew of me and it seemed even the mighty Feanor had given his approval!

 

We sat in companionable silence later that evening Elrond gave me a small box and in it, set on a filigree silver chain was a finely made eight pint silver star that glittered with small diamonds set into it points. It was from Maglor. Elrond helped me put it around my neck and I touched it reverentially thinking of a family and kin I would never know in person.

“He said he didn’t want me to bear the stains of his and his families crimes. I told him I would have gladly borne them for love of him”.

“It would have been difficult indeed but even if there had been was some way of recognising your relationship formally if you had gone to Formenos to live with him, your children would have had to bear his crimes too and their children”.

“There was never going to be a resolution for us was there?”, I said defeatedly,

“No!” said Elrond quietly,

“He said that to me I that his fae would always be marked. That’s why when we bonded with our minds and bodies the last time it just strengthened the bond between us and made the severing of it all the more terrible”.

Elrond looked at me compassionately, acknowledging my pain, “It made it crueller for you both, yes!”.

 

We were walking together one day a months later in a wooded area where the leaves were turning beautiful hues of gold and copper,

Elrond stayed his walk, I looked behind at him,

“Do you remember what Galadriel spoke to you in your mind?”,

“You mean the oswane at he ball?, “Yes”, I said, looking at him wondering if he was going to continue walking with me.

“Do you remember what she said?”,

“Yes, I think so something about about not loving someone or loving them, very cryptic!!”, I laughed plucking at a long bough above me.

“Do you not or will you not love him?”,

“Yes, what of it?”,

Elrond, looked long at me his grey eyes open and frank, “Ella” he said,

I looked at him curious at the seriousness of his tone…

“What is…..it? ….. Oh!”.... I looked down suddenly confused and yet understanding everything all at once.

“Ella, he began again, shall I speak?”…

I looked at him pensively… “Yes, yes please....continue”,

“Ella, do you not or will you not love me? Do not answer me yet, he held up his hand, I will leave you here to think, if you find that your answer is not there is no harm done and my friendship with you will remain sure”.

 

With that he turned and walked back down the path way and I sat down my back resting on a large tree bole thinking back on all our misadventures over the last few months. I thought of his kindliness through them all to me. I thought of his stalwartness and faith towards me and I felt humbled and a sadness came over me. How long had he felt like this I wondered yet had never saying anything? He had watched as Maglor and I had fallen in love. He had endured watching me with Maglor and he had seen the passion I felt for him, the raw physicality we could neither of us conceal. Yet all that time he’d had his own heartaches and troubles to contend with over Celebrian and had done so alone without speaking of them to us not wanting to alloy our joy. Instead he had been there for both myself and Maglor and had truly wished the best for us, warmly advising and supporting us both and never judging us or with drawing his friendship. I remembered what he had said to me when he was trying to get me to realise the feelings I had for Maglor “but consider would friendship have turned to more if I had been free?”. Had he felt like this then or before even?

 

I felt ashamed of myself. In my heart of hearts I knew there was not one instance or moment that Elrond had not been utterly unselfish in his dealings not just to me but to others also. I thought suddenly of a life without Elrond in it and I felt sad and tears pricked my eyes. Why could I not love him as I had loved Maglor with such wild abandon. Why? Elrond, strong, true, kindly indomitable Elrond who had always been at my side. At that moment I felt suffused by a strange euphoria and gladness, something had broken in me and I felt tears pricking my eyes yet I did not know why? Suddenly in my heart I knew where once there had been Maglor with the ragged need and pain, now there bloomed a quite steadfastness and surety and at the heart of it was Elrond. It seemed to me then I felt my heart brake then and a warmth came gushing in. It was unlike what I felt for Maglor this seemed to knock me over with its depth and strength and coursed through my veins. and then I laughed and hugged my knees. How was this happening to me, what was happening I wondered? and realisation. It was my beloved Elrond I wanted and I would stand against the Vala and all the heavens to be by his side.

 

Clear for once about what I must do. I got up and ran to house. I found him in his study bent over his desk, the door open, he looked up when I arrived, I must have looked wild and I was out of breath, he looked worried.

 

“Yes I said, I will love you, I..I .. mean…. I mean... I DO LOVE YOU!” I cried, he ran to me and picked me up swirling me around, and then took me in his arms and kissed me he touching his lips with mine and sealing a love that had been quietly growing within us both, a quiet passion that that had kept itself bridled within every days quiet needs yet profound and enduring. We were still laughing and twirling around excitedly when members of his household came to see what all the commotion was.

 

At first we were shy of declaring our new found love to those around us at New Imladris, however, it seemed those around us in New Imladris had already seen what we had been so blind to, our growing love. They acknowledged my presence with a shared warmth and happiness for us. Soft smiles, acquiescing looks gave us the largesse to be bolder and I would shyly place my hand in his as we walked and he would gather me against him his arms wrapped around me kissing me caring not if any noticed.

 

I felt no need of any formal show or demonstrations of our union, Varda herself had honoured it, yet Elrond would not take me to his bed without some sort of formal marriage ceremony, though what that should be or look like we were undecided upon. Our minds were made up for us when one day a few weeks later Eonwe came filling the small study his with his glowing presence, his mighty diaphanous wings beating slowly lifting the lose papers off the desk and fluttering them to the ground we both stared at him frozen.

 

He spoke, “Know this child of your father he has been granted permission of choice to his issue and thereby have all other issue of Maia and mortal kind. This is the summons of Manwe Sulilmo and thereby Eru. Know this also your marriage and bonding to Elrond Earendilion will be hallowed by the powers themselves. You shall both be expected in the city of Valmar city of the Valar three months hence from now”.

 

And then Eonwe was gone the only suggestion of his shining presence being the sheaves of paper fluttering on the floor.

We sat silently, stunned for a few minutes not knowing what to say.

“Well that’s that decided for us”, said Elrond.

“Yes”, I echoed dumbfounded.

 

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Chapter End Notes

I hope you like the unexpected resolution of Ella's situation at the end! I really can't think the Mai did not have children with mortals? 

Epilogue

Read Epilogue

 

Epilogue

I expect there are not many weddings arranged and hallowed by the Vala themselves, non that I knew of anyway, but ours was to be one of them. My father wrote to us expanding on what Eonwe had said. The city would be made ready for our nuptials we would have to do nothing expect send invitations to whom we wished to attend. My father said he looked forward to meeting his soon to be son in law who had fae blood also he had been told.

 

The day came and the city seemed to sparkle and shimmer with our happiness it seemed to us. From its clear quartz buildings to its golden minaret capped towers of gold, everything was charged with the energy of our bliss. The marriage ceremony was held in the open on a green sward outside the city. A small dais had been prepared and I walked through the hushed gathering of waiting Vala, Maia and Eldar.

 

I saw some familiar faces Finrod and Amarie and some of our loyal household but all my attention was riveted on the dais where Elrond stood all in white, a simple crown of leaves and blossom on his head. He looked back at me tears shining in his eyes. I walked slowly aware of the gauzy, translucent gown that fluttered and billowed out in a long train behind me. Diamonds had been threaded through my hair and a circlet of fresh blossom crowned me. I reached the dais and Elrond took my hand whispering how beautiful I was and there before the assembled great and good of Valinor we took our vows declaring our love and future together.

 

It felt strange to have more than half of the guests appearing as shining transparent gauzy beings with the others corporeal and solid. Galadriel and Celeborn came and Galadriel seemed much less imperious than she had first appeared to me, perhaps the assembled powers daunted her or perhaps she was letting us take centre stage. I don’t know but I was grateful for her civility. When she came she looked at me warmly and said,

“So you chose to to love him”,

I smiled warmly back and laughed and she laughed also. I was courteous to Celeborn, and he glossed over our past altercation with erudite civility, learnt by years being of married to Galadriel probably I thought.

 

When a tall dark muscular ellon approached us, on his face I saw the familiar features of Maglor and his family; Celebrimbor. I was glad that someone at least was representative of the Feanorian house. We had sent an invitation but we understood they would probably not come given the ban they were under in Formenos. Celebrimbor, looked at me searching my face and gave into my hands a glittering star on a plaque, sigil of his house, a pledge of loyalty and friendship between both our houses Elrond said. But I took it as sign that Maglor had accepted the union of Elrond and myself. I wished happiness for him and all of his kin. I truly did and in my heart I could not hold any hurt, pain or resentment for Maglor so great was my bliss and happiness that day.

 

Of course Celebrian was indisposed and returned the invitation curtly to us. We took no offence knowing we would be expected to do the same on receipt of an invitation of her up coming nuptials. I looked around it was an engrossing scene as as veritable gods and celestial entities walked amongst the more corporeal guests. It made for interesting small talk. I saw Finrod gamely trying to chat to a severe looking entity in grey robes his face hidden in a hooded cloak, surely Mandos. good luck with that I thought and sniggered to myself.

 

That night Elrond when at long last took me to his bed he did so solemnly, reverentially, cupping my face he repeated our vows again. I saw saw the passion flare in his eyes and there in the city of bells we made our bond with a slow deliberate rhythm that lovers have known since time immemorial. Looking into one another's eyes we sealed our minds also, and my heart already his rejoiced, and it seemed to me I was no longer the person I had been. There was no longer I but we. It was as if we were new come into the world and by this the act of creation we were bringing into being a new order a new world. In a strange way we were, so few of our kind existed, and the maia, fae blood that ran in us both hummed to a different tune now we were joined. A new hybrid of being we called it. The Powers had blessed not only our union but our natures of that we were sure.

 

Less than six months later, new returnees began to arrive, natured like myself, with the strains of maia and mortal blood, some had chosen to stay where they were in middle earth unwilling to give up their mortal coil, lives ensconced and settled where they were. Others came and Elrond and I welcomed them. The new Imladris became a home for the them and as it always had been before, a place for weary travellers to rest and recuperate. When two particular returnee’s, came the twin sons of Elrond and Celebrian they were a bounty they neither of had them sort to hope for. I stood aside to allow their parents to welcome them, that moment was theirs and theirs alone to experience.

 

One evening after a busy day getting new returnees settled, in New Imladris, Elrond turned to me,

“Do you remember when we first met?” he asked,

“Yes I heard you singing a song of power over your valley in the old Imladris. I was flying high above in the skies and it drew me to you. I felt as if you were speaking directly to me. What was the song about I said?”.

It was song of restoration and healing, but also was I asking for a sign for a brighter future”.

“Aah!” I said and we both laughed.