Walk and talk under the stars by Aprilertuile

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Walk and talk under the stars

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Both Maglor and Elrond could have done with some rest, alas, the land immediately surrounding them wasn’t safe, and neither of them felt like taking that risk.

So as soon as they were both ready to go again, a handful of fresh athelas in Elrond’s bag, they took each other’s hand again, and started walking, at a more sedate pace.

On the way, Maglor was looking around for edible plants to pick up, or tracks to lead them to a hunt perhaps, but to no avail. The random foraging held some success, but finding usable tracks after the earthquakes was an exercise in futility.

“I really don’t get why the valar decided to sink the land. Elrond noted after a while.

-From what I got, they decided to get rid of Beleriand for it was far too corrupted with Morgoth’s power and creatures.

-That still makes no sense. There’s perfectly usable land being sunk right there. They could have destroyed the north’s mountain range and left the rest of the south for the elves and mortals to deal with. It’s not like it’d have changed us a lot. It’s them who hid for hundreds of year until someone came and paid the price of a Silmaril for them to intervene, not us.

-You listened to Maedhros far too much, dear one.

-No, you could say that if I went into a rant about how the Valar had to be paid to do their job with a stolen jewel, that Morgoth was their problem to start with and us elves had no hope to succeed and their refusal to take responsibilities was criminal, or even that the Valar may have offered a chance to the elves to go to a so-called safe place, but they forgot the men and so it can't be Eru's plan and so they're as criminals as the rest of us. Hm... Did I forget something?

-That's... nicely summarized, you heard that too often I think. Maglor noted amused.

-I'd gladly hear it again if it meant 'cle 'Lyo was here with us.

-Me too, Little Star, me too."

Maglor took a deep breath, trying to ward off tears, because it was really not the time and Elrond needed him and...

"You have the right to mourn your brother, atto.

-I spent days crying over him already, once more won't help, nor change a thing. I'll write him a lament...

-Or 10.

-To each their own way to face grief.

-True. What I meant is... You have the right to cry. There's no... No quota we have to fill and stop at when we lose someone.

-... You're my child, it's not you who should...

-I'm a healer, atto. I also lost people in my life. Will you tell me not to cry because of whatever priorities? Did you tell me to man up and stop crying the other day, when I was crying over the fact that my very much still alive brother chose mortality?"

Maglor put his arms around Elrond and pulled him into a hug, tears escaping him anyway. Elrond put his arms around him, doing his best to make himself a welcoming presence instead of the prickly mess he knew he was at the moment.

And how easy it was. He did that a few times too often apparently.

"I'm supposed to help you. Not the other way around. Maglor breathed after a few moments.

-Psh, we can help each others. That's what families do. You taught us that, remember?"

Maglor hummed his ascent and sniffled a bit.

"I miss my brother... But I'm glad you're here with me, Little Star.

-And I'm glad to be here. I miss uncle Maedhros too.

-You miss him or his horse?" Maglor asked, trying for humor despite his own tears.

That had Elrond giggle a bit tearfully.

"That horse was the best.

-That horse was a damn mule that only ever obeyed Nelyo.

-Oh no. He cooperated very nicely with me that time when I tried to frighten that annoying soldier of yours... What's his name...

-Erestor."

Elrond emitted a brief sound to say he heard the answer and yet didn't care much, thank you, and silence fell between them again, only broken by the sound of their breathing.

There were still there, kneeling on the floor and alternating between crying and not when night fell.

"Well, there goes our plan to find somewhere safe to stay before night. Maglor said in a hoarse voice.

-Quite. I don't feel much like staying here though. Elrond noted with a grimace.

-Me neither. So I suggest we just go and keep walking until we find a place to rest."

And so they did. Walked side by side and hand in hand for a while as night set, with only the star light to guide their way.

At the third time Elrond slipped on something he hadn't seen, Maglor decided it was time for a break, safe area or no.

Besides they hadn't had an earthquake in a while by now. The trees who were going to fall were probably already on the ground by now.

"I can't help but note your rather... Varied and colorful vocabulary. Maglor noted, even as he let go of his bag, letting it slid to the ground.

-Hazard of being a healer in time of war. Your vocabulary just flourishes unexpectedly at times.

-Here, drink."

Elrond grabbed the waterskin from Maglor, appreciating the refreshing water.

"We'll need to find a place to fill the waterskins again. Also we can continue atto...

-We don't need to continue right now, Little Star.

-Just because...

-Little Star, we've been running and walking for a full day, and you weren't physically as fit as you should to start with. I prefer it if we take a break, even just a couple of hours, before going again.

-I just... I just don't want to...

-El, the ground is stable right now. If we feel any tremor at all, I promise you, we'll go first thing first. We won't end up trapped here under a fallen tree or something of the sort, but we need rest, and we'll get it."

Elrond sighed but leant on Maglor for a moment.

"There's still the problem of the waterskins to fill. That won't get magically solved and that's the last one we have. Elrond noted.

-I know. When we get back on the way, we'll look for drinkable water first thing."

Elrond nodded, and put his own bag on the floor next to him.

Maglor sat on the floor, pulling Elrond with him.

The younger elf leant against his side, unconsciously seeking comfort, or warmth, or both, making Maglor smile, and more so when he noticed, rather quickly, that Elrond's breathing became regular.

He was probably asleep already.

Maglor leant against his bag, Elrond in his arms, and looked at the sky, following the path of Gil-Estel.

"There's a new stream of fresh water a few kilometers from here. Elrond whispered suddenly, his breathing still as calm.

-I thought you were asleep. Maglor answered with clear surprise.

-I was just feeling the land for water.

-You didn't need to worry, you know, we'd have found it sooner or later.

-There's only the two of us here, atto. I prefer to be safe rather than sorry.

-Commendable, but you don't need worry overmuch you know, we'll manage.

-You don't need to do everything by yourself, atto. We are together and both of us can pull our weight and do our things. You hate asking the land for directions, whereas it's easier for u... for me.

-Very well, my worried Little Star. We'll walk that way and we can fill our waterskin then."

Elrond nodded, and pressed himself tighter against Maglor. He was starting to feel sore and Maglor was just so warm against his side...

"How does the Host fare with water? With the amount of refugees...

-The Maiar are helping and leading the camp to safe place with easy supplies of water. Or creating those easy supplies of water I guess. Whichever it is, it's working and so far no one had to worry about going thirsty. For food there's been so far enough lembas for everyone.

-Everyone but the healers perhaps? Maglor noted wryly, making a show of taking Elrond's hand in his, pointing out rather heavily how thin Elrond's fingers were compared to his.

-Not quite. There were enough supplies. Just not enough time to eat. Also I remember a few times sitting down to actually eat only to be interrupted by an emergency or another. Same with sleep. I incidentally discovered that way that elves could go a long time without sleeping, while men did fine with two days without sleep and started to decline then and at 4 days without sleep were getting prone to aggressiveness and more than a bit of erratic behavior.

-Do I want to know if you discovered where you fell on that scale? Maglor sighed, wondering where the respective leaders of the healers in question were at that time.

-I'm not quite sure. I wasn't happy at the 4th sleepless day, certainly, but then we reached a point where we could take actual breaks again, because, admittedly, most of our patients were either on the path of recovery or already dead, but anyway, we set rosters again and miracle of miracle, we managed to keep it going well enough.”

Maglor hummed wordlessly in answer, clearly doubtful.

“There were some hiccups along the road, but really, we mostly managed.

-What was happening at that time that you went 4 days without sleep? Rest is necessary to be effective in anything you wish to do.

-Thangorodrim had just fallen, with the result you know, the injured from the last big skirmishes, and...

-The escapes from thralldom. Maglor sighed.

-Yeah. Most of them didn't quite make it. I think..."

Elrond hesitated and was clearly not going to say anything but...

"You think? Maglor asked gently.

-I think that Gorthaur or some other maia in that damn fortress kept most of them alive despite everything, and when Morgoth was taken and most the other creatures, including fallen maia were either forced to run away, surrender or die... That power fell...

-That's likely. They could do that, if they saw some worth in keeping their prisoners alive. I know it's what happened to my brother. They kept him alive far past the point he'd have died naturally otherwise. Maglor nodded gently.

-Hm... Hence why he survived 8 years suspended to that cliff. Elrond mused, making Maglor snort a laugh despite the subject of conversation.

-How long have that been bothering you?

-That made absolutely no sense! 'Cle 'Lyo was a force of nature, but still an elf, it was impossible all around. But...

-But, indeed. You should have said something when you started to wonder, we'd have told you.

-You were still at the "must not let the kids know a thing of danger" at the time. You wouldn't have.

-So soon?

-Uhu. It's Elros who pointed it out one day. He said your stories all were impossible. And he quoted a few things that seemed very unlikely, or pure inventions. Of course we learnt later that either they were pure fabrication to distract us or entirely true, no matter the scale of creepiness they fell into.

-... I see.

-And then I started to learn with the healers, and all I learnt seemed to confirm Elros' estimate of that particular story. We sort of decided that the truth might have been too bizarre, too creepy or too personal for you to want to share. More so since the soldiers didn't seem to like prince Fingon very much. Elrond noted.

-I... Wouldn't base your opinion on your great uncle on what my soldiers think of Fingon. They're deeply loyal people and Fingon and I never really got along.

-Never?

-No. We both had too strong and too different personalities. Without Maedhros playing buffer between us, it'd have been constant arguments. I think we might have driven our grand-father to tears a few times because of that."

Maglor winced at the reminder. Now that he had actual time to think on it, he had to admit that he may have been honored to be the court minstrel, but he had been a rude, prideful and spiteful annoyance. He almost pitied his grand-father and his courtiers there.

"It must have made life so easy for the people around you. Elrond chuckled.

-I... Think not, no.

-Oh I bet yes."

Elrond's laughter had a hysterical edge probably brought on by the day's general stress.

"Excuse-you?

-Atto, I love you, you know that I love you. I also have a lot of respect for you, and your abilities, but those same abilities must not have magically appeared out of nowhere when you first stepped foot in Beleriand and when Elros and I lived with you in Amon Ereb, when you were unhappy, the whole fortress could feel it. Same with uncle Maedhros. I'll grant you that you might have drastically developed your abilities with Songs of power and empathy in these lands, but you must have been damn uncomfortable to be around to anyway when you were growing up if you were unhappy with someone, let alone angry or hateful."

Maglor was going to answer tartly, but snorted instead.

"Admittedly, looking back now, I feel almost sorry for the extended family.

-Almost.

-I never really liked them. I could pretend well enough when I wanted to, but... Well, except for Finrod. He was a... Sort of friend through annoyance mostly? We got along in the sense that we preferred to annoy each other to insanity and when we didn't have news after a while we came to see how the other was, started a screaming match, went back to write songs specifically design to annoy each other, well, songs or poetry, and rinse and repeat ad nauseam. Uncle Arafinwë tried to stop us once or twice but we might have banded together to make him understand it was better to stay out of our way. 

-... In short you were all mostly insane, noted."

Maglor chuckled at that.

"Mostly we were free, had no idea what danger meant really, and we were all insanely bored."

As they talked, they finally decided to be on their way again, and Elrond led Maglor toward the new stream.

It took them a few hours walking there at a leisurely pace, but it was still the right general direction they needed to go to, so neither of them complained.

The stream was small, but sufficient for what they needed.

They filled their waterskins there, and took the common decision to refresh themselves in there too.

The sun came up on them lying lazily on the grass to dry.

Maglor was humming under his breath, and Elrond fell silent, just listening, letting the song wash over him.

Elrond really heard only snippets of the words, images and feeling imprinting a clearer picture in his mind...

"Brother, warrior, crownless king"

Maedhros tall, powerful, commanding, and yet never afraid to be here and be a brother despite it all, surrounded by an aura of power whatever he did, even when with a tender smile on his face.

Elrond kept his eyes closed, letting the images, the feelings, the song itself wash over him until it came to an end. He just kept his hand in his father's so the older elf wouldn't lose himself to it completely.

That was how Maglor dealt with grief, and if they made a couple hours break in their travelling, there was no reason to deny his father that relief.

After all, there was no point for Maglor to help Elrond to find his balance, only to destroy himself in the process, out of unexpressed grief...