Illegal Noldorin Immigrants by Himring

Illegal Noldorin Immigrants

The conversation on Mount Olympus

Read Illegal Noldorin Immigrants

‘Ahem’, said Zeus Kronion, the great Olympian.

Sadly, nobody did him the favour of flinching or looking the slightest bit self-conscious.

‘What is this I hear?’ he continued, adding the tiniest bit of thunder to his voice.

‘What did you hear, Father?’ his daughter Athena asked kindly. Half of her attention, though, seemed still to be on the grooming of her pet owl.

‘I have been notified of several cases of illegal immigration,’ said Zeus severely. ‘A complete neglect of the appropriate multi-versal transit and border formalities…’

‘Whoever do you mean, Father?’ asked Artemis. Her tone was unusually sweet and innocent. Athena managed to kick her discretely under the table. Zeus failed to notice.

Zeus peered at the potsherd in his hand.

‘I think they are called…Ngoldorai?’

Could that be right? He was embarrassed and tried to wave the potsherd menacingly to cover it up. Somehow, he felt the potsherd looked insufficiently impressive. Maybe he needed to rethink the message and the medium.

‘Interesting, but sounds a bit unlikely…’, said Athena. ‘So which border was it these Ngoldorai are supposed to have been detained at?’

‘They were not detained at all,’ admitted Zeus.

‘Really?’ asked Athena. ‘How did they come to your attention, then?’

His boy had complained. The boy was so sensitive and emotional… And Zeus was aware that he had not done entirely well by him, but it would not do to mention that when Hera was around.

‘The recent expedition to Themiskyra…’ he mumbled.

‘You mean Herakles complained at being sat on,’ said Artemis.

She had more or less forgiven her half-brother for that business about the deer, but she didn’t think it hurt him to be sat on just a little. Besides, it had been excellent team work on the part of Lalwen, Elenwe and Edhellos. She had been very pleased how Hippolyta had managed to integrate the Noldorin women into her troops so quickly.

‘That man…!’ said Hera explosively.

Zeus decided it had been a mistake to bring the subject up.

‘It sounds like an entirely unverified incident,’ said Athena calmly, picked up her owl and left.

Zeus gazed after her, befuddled. Somehow Athena seemed unusually unsupportive today. It was giving him a headache.

‘She ships Theseus/Pirithous,’ Aphrodite explained, amused.

Ships? What had ships to do with anything?

Zeus looked to Poseidon for help, but the god of the Sea clearly did not have a clue.

‘I quite like the femslash, myself,’ Aphrodite added and winked, hooking her arm through Artemis’s and, with that, they too left.  

Zeus never did get his explanation.

The Themiscyra incident

Three Noldorin ladies explain to Herakles (aka Hercules) why they decided he needed to be sat on.

Originally written as comment fic for Grundy, to whom thanks for the inspiration!

Please note that this addition should perhaps be rated Teens, rather than General. Further warning in end notes, possible spoiler.

Read The Themiscyra incident

'You can let me up now,' said Herakles, aggrieved. 'I really did not mean to attack any of you!'

'You are safer staying down,' said Edhellos from where she sat on his legs. 'Some of our friends are angrier with you than you have probably realized. Don't try to throw us off, you might get run through with a spear.'

'We are giving you the benefit of the doubt,' Lalwen explained, holding down his middle. 'Because of possible cultural differences. You see, when Hippolyta said she was sorry for you and going to give you her precious and powerful girdle, if you really needed it...'

'That was literally all she meant,' continued Elenwe, who was holding his arms pinned. 'Just her girdle, that is. Not the woman inside it. She was very much not offering the sort of comfort you apparently thought. And, in the Amazon language, no means no.'

'But maybe that was all Greek to you...' Lalwen concluded and gave his midriff an extra warning push.

Herakles subsided.

---

Chapter End Notes

The warning is for prevented non-con. Hippolyta was able to summon help as soon as it became clear that Herakles was really going to cross the line.

Also apologies to any Greek readers for the anachronistic pun!

(I'm not really apologizing to the shades of the ancient Greeks, though, considering it was they who first came up with the concept of barbarians.)