Finding Lost Family by chrissystriped

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Chapter Nine

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Sharû followed Ecthelion through an archway overgrown with grapevines to the inner courtyard of an inn. In the morning Ecthelion had led him through the public rooms of the palace and Sharû’s mind was still overflowing with the images of all that splendour and beauty and the stories Ecthelion had told him. Afterwards they had strolled through the town and Sharû had drunk in the light, colourful air.

It was nothing like the stories his mother had told and just like he had imagined it at the same time - these elves' lives were not like what his grandmother had remembered of the woods and glens under starlight but still all of it radiated 'elvishness'. It felt like home to a part of him that had lain dormant for a long time.

Now it was late midday and his feet hurt. Ecthelion and he sat down on a table in the shady garden of the inn. A murmur started among the other customers, Sharû tried to ignore it. He jumped a little when the innkeeper showed up next to them.

“Lord Ecthelion, a pleasure to see you. What can I bring you and your guest to drink?”

“House white for me.”

“Do you have beer?”, Sharû asked and the innkeeper nodded. He didn’t look directly at him but he also made no comment about the oddness of Ecthelion's guest.

Sharû opened the menu and squinted to concentrate. He could read tengwar, they had been taken up by the Maiar after the King came back from Aman, but they wrote it differentely here from what he was used to.

“If you need help, tell me”, Ecthelion mumbled from behind his own menu.

“I can manage, thank you”, Sharû answered. “I’ll eat the medallions of pork. At least I know what mushrooms are.”

Ecthelion smiled. “Don’t pretend. I know you have a very good vegetable garden on the Island.”

Sharû laughed. “But we don’t have broccoli or asparagus.”

“We can go to the market tomorrow and I’ll show you the diversity of vegetables.”

Ecthelion winked at him and Sharû laughed.

“You said there’s a museum about the time of the Great Journey. I’m interested in that, if it won’t bore you too much.”

He didn’t want to grate on him, but he couldn’t deny that he enjoyed the time with Ecthelion.

“Not at all. I was there last when I was a child.”

Their drinks came and they ordered their meal.

“Is there a special reason for your interest?”, Ecthelion asked and Sharû shrugged.

“My father...", he started hesitantly. "I believe that he was captured shortly before or during the journey, although he never really talked about it. I’d just like to know more about how he might have lived – before.”

It was hard for him to talk about it. He’d never dared before, it had been too dangerous. He didn’t know exactly what a reaction he expected from Ecthelion but he was nervous.

“I can understand that. For me it was always a part of my past I was taught about, but for you it is new.” Ecthelion smiled at him. “I’m glad that I can accompany you while you experience it.”

Sharû felt something warm inside him and smiled back.

“Would you like to... talk about him? Your father?”

Sharû shook his head. “I don’t think so. Not yet. I’m not used to mention my parents at all.”

He gave him an apologetic glance but Ecthelion didn’t seem offended.

“Of course. But don’t hesitate, if you ever want to, yes?”

Sharû nodded slowly. Friends, Ecthelion had said. He’d never had a friend with whom he could have talked about the things that moved him inside. Mo had come closest, he had trusted him like he hadn’t trusted any other superior, but he still had never completely confided in him. It felt good that he could now if he wanted.

“Thank you”, he said and because his thoughts had turned to Mo, he added: “Do you think they would allow me to visit Mo?”

“I don’t see why not. But I think it would be best, if you wrote to Aule directly before you show up there.”

They were silent for a while as they ate. Sharû sighed satisfied when the meat melted in his mouth. These elves could cook... he’d never eaten as well as in the days in Ecthelion’s company.

“Oh, you know Silwen, don’t you?”, Ecthelion said suddenly. “She’d surely deliver your message to Aule. I know that she travels regularly to Valmar.”

“That sounds good. I didn’t think of that. Ecthelion, there's something, I want to ask.”

Sharû sat up straighter. Ecthelion was helping him yet again and he thought it overdue to address that.

“I want to thank you for accompanying me to Matil yesterday and that you do all this for me. Can I give you anything in return?”

It felt strange to not be asked for payment. A part of him waited all the time to be made to pay the bill.

Ecthelion shook his head. “I understand why you’d think like that but it isn’t necessary. We are friends, at least I hope we are and you aren’t just bothering with me because you think you have to as return service.”

Ecthelion spoke in a joking way, but Sharû felt that it still was a serious worry of him.

“I like you, Ecthelion. I'm glad that you consider me your friend.”

And Ecthelion’s happy smile let this warm feeling rise inside him again.

“Well, then this is simply what friends do together. And I accompanied you to Matil not only for your benefit, but also because Matil wanted me to. I’m glad that it went so well.”

“Me too. I still can’t believe that we are getting off so easily. What we have now, I could have never imagined when we surrendered. And it’s thanks to you and your people. We thought we’d like to invite you to a feast to the Island to celebrate our new home.”

“That’s a wonderful idea. I’ll gladly come and I’m sure many others will too.”

 

~*~*~

 

“My Lord, I’m sorry to disturb your meal, but your friend Gil and another elf are waiting outside and you said, you want to be informed immediately if he comes here”, Indo said and Ecthelion looked up from his breakfast.

It was late morning already, but he indulged in these little luxuries now that he knew how much they were worth.

“Bring them here. And please see to it that fresh tea is brought.”

Ecthelion had soon realised that his title and the big house discouraged many of his people to ask him for help, but Gil knew that he could always come to him and the common elves trusted him more easily. Ecthelion had seen the elf, Gil led in, before but he didn’t know his name. He looked like he had been outside all night and was close to tears.

“My lord”, the elf knelt down before Ecthelion could stop him. “I’m sorry for bothering you.”

Ecthelion stood up and helped him back to his feet. “There’s no reason why you should kneel before me. What is your name?”

Ecthelion led the elf to a chair and poured him a cup of tea. He invited Gil with a motion of the hand to serve himself.

“Dolthan”, the elf answered.

“I’m pleased to meet you, Dolthan. How can I help you?”

Dolthan started to cry and Ecthelion rubbed his back soothingly.

“Whatever it is”, he said gently. “We’ll find a solution.”

Sometimes it was only money, seed capital for a new beginning, but those were the easy cases. Much too often it was about families turning away, prejudices and wounds of the soul no one seemed to understand.

“I’m afraid of going home”, Dolthan finally sobbed. “I thought, I could do it. When I found my wife again, I thought I could live like before – as if it never happened – and she thinks so still, but... She is just like I remember her, but I am not the same anymore. I can’t touch her without thinking of what... what they did to us. I feel so dirty. I don’t deserve to be with her. And the store... each time someone comes in, my heart starts to race. I can’t take it anymore!” Dolthan sobbed.

“I simply left yesterday. I locked the store and left and walked through the town the whole night because I couldn’t bear it anymore. It’s just too much! I’m sorry, I don’t want to waste your time, but Gil said you can help me.”

“None of us could waste my time”, Ecthelion said gently. “You are my comrade and we don’t desert our comrades. I’ll do everything in my power to help you. Do I understand you right that you still want to be with your wife?”

“Yes!” Dolthan looked up with red-rimmed eyes. “Of course I want that, but... I’m so afraid that she won’t understand. We never talk about... it.”

Ecthelion nodded slowly. “You can stay here for as long as you want. Gil can tell your wife, so she knows she doesn’t need to worry and you didn’t just vanish.”

Dolthan winced.

“You didn’t come home tonight”, Ecthelion said gently. “She’ll have noticed that something is wrong, now if not before. But Gil won’t tell her anything you don’t want her to. Will you, Gil?”

Gil looked up from his breakfast he was busy devouring. “Of course not”, he answered and ate on.

Ecthelion knew it wasn’t indifference for Dolthan’s pain, but none of them would miss out on a meal.

“And I know someone who you can talk to about your fears”, Ecthelion continued. “It is an injury of the fea that can be healed just like an injury to the hroa.”

They were only at the beginning of understanding it, there had never been such hard cases before. Many of the Stayers thought that those who suffered so should give up their bodies and seek healing in Mandos. Ecthelion was furious at such a narrow minded opinion. No one had shunned him for surviving his burns. A friend of his mother, a healer who had researched the tiredness some women felt after giving birth, had offered to treat the Angband-Elves and Ecthelion only heard good things about him from the elves he sent to him. Much of what he did was trying around with different methods, but he was empathetic and he made them feel that he took them seriously and Ecthelion knew how important that was.

“But it’s expensive.”

“You don’t have to pay anything. The king bears all costs, don’t worry.” Finarfin had made good on his promise to help where he could.

“I know.” Dolthan hunched his shoulders. “I heard about it, but... how can I expect the king to pay for my problems.”

Ecthelion shook his head, but he didn’t allow his frustration to show. So many of the elves he talked with thought like Dolthan. So many Gil had to almost drag to him because they were afraid to impose on him.

It was because of the way the Stayers and some of the former exiled Noldor, too, treated them. They were back in Aman, back where they belonged and no wound could be so bad that it didn’t heal here ‘on its own’. Most of the Noldor wanted to forget what was behind them and the Angband-Elves with their scars, physical and psychicological, were an all too visible reminder. But healing didn’t work that way. And given the fact that there were orcs living on Tol Eressea, simply forgetting the past was impossible, Ecthelion thought.

He was glad that the Valar had finally come to a decision about them and had given Tol Eressea to Sharû and his men. He was surprised every time he visited Sharû how much they were flourishing in this new life. It only confirmed what he had known for a long time: They weren’t that different from elves. Ecthelion retrieved his thoughts to the matter at hand.

“It is a king’s duty to care for his subjects”, he said to Dolthan. “I think it would be good for you to talk to Cesanar, but I won’t force you, of course. Think about it and take as much time as you need. I’ll let a guest room be made ready and then you can rest.”

Dolthan closed his eyes and his shoulders dropped. “Thank you, my lord.”

Ecthelion squeezed his shoulder. “Can I leave you two to yourself for a moment?”

Gil nodded and Ecthelion stood up to give instructions to Indo before he went to his mother to tell her they had a guest. He was sure she wouldn't mind.