Chances taken by chrissystriped

Chances taken

Read Chances taken

Mairon looked down at his sleeping lover and bowed down to kiss his forehead.

“Goodbye”, he said softly. “Until soon.”

He needed to leave. All was ready for his biggest project, the device that would make it possible for him to take the rulership of all Middle-earth without any bloodshed. He’d spent centuries on preparing for this, seducing the Eldar, making them his instruments. It hadn’t been in the plan for him to catch feelings.

Celebrimbor moved in his sleep but didn’t wake. They’d made love earlier and Mairon had known it was the last time. He knew Celebrimbor would not be able to share his vision. For all his high words about forgiveness and second chances, he would only see the Enemy. He would not see that his rulership was necessary to bring them forward.

Mairon gritted his teeth. He should not long so for the love of a weak incarnate who could not see the greater things. And still he wondered what might have been, if he’d been honest with him from the start.

‘There’s still time’, a small voice inside his mind whispered. ‘You can still come clean. You have not yet made an irreversible decision.’

He could wake him, could confess. He could prove himself worthy of his trust. A tremble came over him. Celebrimbor would never forgive him …but he would never forgive him what he planned to do, either.

“Tyelpe”, he whispered without another thought, letting his heart guide him for maybe the first time in his life. “Wake up.”

Celebrimbor made a protesting sound and curled up, but Mairon continued to shake him insistently.

“Please, wake up. I have something important to tell you.” He needed to do it now or he would think better of it!

Celebrimbor blinked blearily at him. “What time is it?”, he mumbled. “What’s wrong, Annatar?” He rubbed his face, slowly sitting up.

“I love you”, Mairon blurted out. “I love you!”

Celebrimbor’s face lit up, but Mairon stopped him with a hand over his mouth before he could say it, too.

“No, don’t say it. I need you to know something first, because I love you. I’ve decided to stay — if you let me —, I’ve decided not to go through with my plan.”

Celebrimbor’s forehead creased. “What are you talking about?”

“The rings, they were a trap, a way to bring you all under my power. There’s only one piece missing. That’s why I intended to leave, to forge the master ring.”

“I… I don’t understand”, Celebrimbor’s voice was trembling, he skirted back, bringing distance between them. “What are you saying?”

“I think you know what I’m saying, Tyelpe”, Mairon said with tears pricking at his eyes, his heart clenching with the pain of losing him. “I am the power in the East. I was never an ambassador of the Valar. I fled from the ruin of Angband. I am the one, your people call Sauron.”

Mairon looked down, unable to meet his eyes. “I meant to seduce you, I never intended to fall in love with you. With you and your stupid, naive idea of a city where everyone was welcome, no matter their past. But here I am and place my fate in your hands. I will not make the master ring, I will disband the orcs and men under my power. There will be no war. Because I love you, and I want to learn to believe in your vision.”

 

Celebrimbor had scrambled out of his bed on the side opposite from Annatar — Sauron! — to get some distance between them. His heart was racing, his skin crawling. He’d slept with the Abhorred! A memory of his uncle’s haunted eyes flashed up in his mind. He’d never spoken to him of what had been done to him in Angband’s dungeons. And what he’d heart about Cousin Finrod’s ordeal…

An angry flame sparked up inside Celebrimbor’s chest. They said he looked like his grandfather, but he rarely felt his temper flare up. Now… He barely noticed walking around the bed and punching Sauron in the face. The Maia stumbled, falling down on his ass.

“That was for Maedhros and Finrod”, Celebrimbor gritted out.

Sauron — Annatar — Sauron — he didn’t know how to think of him! — looked at him with wide, startled eyes. Blood was running from his nose but he made no motion to wipe it away.

“You monster”, Celebrimbor sobbed as his heart finally caught up with the events and broke into two jagged halves. “Why couldn’t you just come with an army to our doors? Did you like toying with me, making me fall in love with you and knowing all the while that you’d betray me?”

“Tyelpe…”

“No! I… I need to think.” Celebrimbor wiped at his eyes, angry at himself that the tears wouldn’t stop flowing. “Alone. Leave me now. But if you meant, what you said, you will go to the jailor and let yourself be locked up. Don’t tell him the truth. No one has to know yet.”

Annatar struggled to his feet. “As you wish.”

Celebrimbor watched him go and let himself sag down on the bed when the door had closed behind him. They had all been right. Gil-galad, Elrond, Galadriel — they’d all warned him about the mysterious maia showing up on their doorsteps. He had not wanted to listen. He had been too enticed by the knowledge Annatar offered — and then he’d been in love. Celebrimbor curled up on his bed and cried himself to sleep.

 

Annatar’s desperate face was before his mind’s eye when he woke. ‘I love you’, he’d said. Was he meaning it, or did he pursue a plan even now? But why should he tell him his plan? It made only sense to Celebrimbor, if Annatar had indeed been telling the truth. And if he’d meant it, if he really wanted to change and be with him…

Celebrimbor rose quickly and dressed. If he loved him, he could not deny him a second chance. Maybe he was a fool, but… he wanted to believe that even Sauron could change.

Annatar looked up when he entered the cell, his eyes were rimmed red and Celebrimbor wondered, if he’d cried. His nose looked swollen, Celebrimbor felt a pang of guilt. He shouldn’t have punched him.

“You mean it?”, he said. “You will stop the war? You will change your ways?”

“Yes”, Annatar answered softly. “And I will show you how to close the gap in the protection of the rings. I… I am not sure, but maybe your way is indeed the better one, even if it is untidy and chaotic.”

Celebrimbor smiled wryly. “There can’t be genius without a little chaos.” He reached out and helped him to his feet. “And you love me?”

“Yes.”

“I loved Annatar”, Celebrimbor said. “I hated Sauron. I am not sure what to do now. But I am willing to give you a chance. Both to prove yourself to us and to show me who you truly are. And I will see if I still love you.”

“Thank you”, Annatar bowed his head. “You are very kind. I have learned to see that as something admirable.”

Celebrimbor kissed his cheek. “Come. There’s a lot of trouble ahead. I will not lie to my people about you.”

Annatar jerked and gripped his hand so hard it almost hurt. “Yes… yes, of course. What…”

“They will not hurt you”, Celebrimbor said firmly. The fear in his eyes made his heart grow soft. “We do not have corporal punishment in Ost-in-Edhil. This will be a test for us, too. We always said we’d accept everyone. Now we will see, if we meant it.”

Celebrimbor led Annatar from his cell. He was nervous but also excited. This was a chance for the whole world. Whatever happened from now on, it could only be good.