New Challenge: Potluck Bingo
Sit down to a delicious selection of prompts served on bingo boards, created by the SWG community.
SWG News
Bingo Cards Wanted for Potluck Bingo
Our November-December challenge will be Potluck Bingo, featuring cards created by you! If you'd like to create cards or prompts for cards, we are taking submissions.
Tolkien Meta Week, December 8-14
We will be hosting a Tolkien Meta Week in December, here on the archive and on our Tumblr, for nonfiction fanworks about Tolkien.
New Challenge: Orctober
Orcs on a quest for freedom seek a place sheltered and safe from the Dark Lord. Fulfill prompts to gather the clues needed to bring them to freedom.
New & Updated Fanworks
[Artwork] 2024 Potluck Doodles by silmalope
Assorted prompt fills for the 2024 Potluck bingo boards, to varying degrees of completion! :)
[Writing] Ransom of the Fairy Twins by Rocky41_7
Maglor and Maedhros trade Elrond and Elros to King Gil-galad in exchange for a Silmaril, but they have miscalculated.
[Series] Pennas Pengolodh by AdmirableMonster
The majority of the Silmarillion was penned by a single Elf--an Elf who was so thoroughly written out as to appear only through the ways in which their perspective shaped the stories we see. This is their story, the historian's history, the Pennas Pengolodh.
[Writing] Havens by AdmirableMonster
The Exiles of Gondolin come to Sirion. The residents of Sirion welcome them, and friendship blossoms between the last remaining loremaster of Gondolin and a young poet of Sirion.
[Writing] Collection of Potluck Drabbles by Artano
This is a collection of true drabbles completed for the 'Four Words' drabble bingo card.
[Writing] Hurting Tyelpë by elennalore
Sauron has taken Celebrimbor as a prisoner in Ost-in-Edhil. Whump happens.
[Writing] On a Night of Snow by Elleth
Fingon returns to Barad Eithel after a late-autumn hunt, finding someone unexpected with his wife. The night takes an even more unexpected turn for all three of them.
Current Challenge
Potluck Bingo
Help yourself to a collection of prompts on bingo boards designed by members and friends of the SWG. Read more ...
Random Challenge
B2MeM 2010
Back to Middle-earth Month 2010 was a collaborative game-style challenge where participants created fanworks in order to progress in their attempt to win the Last Battle. Read more ...
New in References
Mapping Arda, Part III: The Second Age by Varda delle Stelle, Anérea
A series of articles featuring fan-made maps of all the lands of Arda. Part III explores the island of Númenor and mainland Middle-earth during the Second Age.
Doom and Ascent: The Argument of ‘Beowulf: the Monsters and the Critics’ by Simon J. Cook
Simon reads 'Beowulf: the Monsters and the Critics' to conclude his account of the Anglo-Saxon tower of its allegory.
Why People Don't Comment: Data and History From the Tolkienfic Fandom by Dawn Walls-Thumma
A reworking of the 2018 article for Long Live Feedback that includes data from the 2020 Tolkien Fanfiction Survey, pointing to a lack of comments as related to skill, confidence, and community connection.
Featured Themed Collection
Part of our Themed Collection series for our newsletter, this collection features fiction, artwork, and essays that transcend the idea of Orcs as the enemy, instead considering their humanity.
Alliterative Verse for Arda by Rhunedhel
Part of our Themed Collection series for our newsletter, this collection features alliterative poems about Middle-earth.
Beyond the Silmarillion
[Writing] Homage to the Song of Durin by Flora-lass
Legolas is inspired by Gimli's song - and by Gimli himself.
[Artwork] Long-tressed Wingildi by Anérea
"... the long-tressed Wingildi ... spirits of the foam and the surf of ocean."
~ a painted sketch for Scribbles and Drabbles 2024.
[Writing] Partners in Craft by elennalore
Annatar realises that he might like Celebrimbor too much.
Around the World and Web
Fluffcember 2024
Fluffcember is a Tumblr event with daily fluffy prompts during the month of December.
Hidden Paths 2025
Hidden Paths, an event dedicated to the celebration of smaller Tolkien canons, has released their early prompts for the 2025 event.
Teitho November/December Contest: Healing
The theme for Teitho's November/December contest is healing.
Lord of the Rings Secret Santa 2024
LotR SESA has been ongoing for twenty-one years and is running again this year as a prompt meme hosted on AO3 for all genres of Tolkien-based fanfiction.
Kiliel Week 2024
Kiliel Week is a Tumblr event for fanworks about the Kili/Tauriel pairing.
Flawed and Fair by Tehta
| | |
Chapter 8 Extras
EXTRAS -- Not an Actual Chapter
-----
EXTRAS
-----
As I have tried to make clear, this is not an actual chapter. This is just a mess of random bits and pieces, meant to resemble the Extras section of a DVD. (Although, obviously, rather different in format.) The Extras include: a fic summary, the full text of both the Orc-Slaying and the Spider-Slaying Ditty, and a few (hopefully) interesting links.
I do know that putting this up here is rather self-indulgent. I only hope that it is somewhat amusing, to my less discerning readers, at least.
-----
LINKS
-----
First, I have written a PWP epilogue to Flawed and Fair. I am linking off-site because this story, being a plotless self-indulgence and not a standalone, is unlikely to get into HASA. I should also warn people that it is more explicit. And I did mention it was plotless, didn't I?
Then, here's a drawing of Ecthelion inspired, in part, by this fic. I think the picture is absolutely lovely. Also, the dour expression on his face seems rather in character. (There are other works by the same talented artist on the web-site, as well.)
Most people will have noticed that Maedhros and Fingon are rather thoroughly slandered in this story. In Beth Winter's Valour and Honour, the Finwian half-cousins get a chance to respond to all those nasty rumours.
And while I'm being completely self-referential, here are some rather odd discussions of three imaginary Flawed and Fair sequels or spin-offs. And Spiders in the Mist: An Arachnid Love Story has, indeed, been written, and accepted into HASA.
-----
THE EVIL-SLAYING DITTIES OF THE GONDOLINDRIM
-----
Here are the full versions of both the songs, which I judged to be both too long and too gory for the actual fic.
The Orc-Slaying Ditty
Our arrows are flying,
Our swords brightly glowing.
The Orcs are all dying!
Their black blood is flowing!
O! Tril-lil-lil-leelly,
Their blood's flowing freely!
Ha! Ha!
The orcs are all dropping!
Once their blood starts gushing,
Orc limbs need some chopping,
Orc heads need some crushing!
O! Tril-lil-lil-lelly,
Their brains turn to jelly!
Ha! Ha!
Oh, we love patrolling!
Oh, truly 'tis thrilling,
When orc heads are rolling!
No joy like orc-killing!
O! Tril-lil-lil-lolly,
To slay orcs is jolly!
Ha! Ha!
The Spider-Slaying Ditty
(As composed by Egalmoth of the Heavenly Arch, who never gets the credit he deserves.)
The spiders are reeking!
They beg for a thrashing!
They'll die with much shrieking,
Once our blades start slashing!
O! Tril-lil-lil-lelly,
Giant spiders are smelly!
Ha! Ha!
Our bright blades are stabbing!
The spiders -- expiring!
This feinting and jabbing,
I find it quite tiring!
O! Tril-lil-lil-lally,
Down there in the valley!
Ha! Ha!
The spiders are dying,
And still they keep stinking!
It's really quite trying,
I'd rather be drinking!
O! Tril-lil-lil-lilly,
This song is quite silly!
Ha! Ha!
----- FLAWED AND FAIR: CLIFFS NOTES VERSION -----
Here is a concise summary of the fic, written for those who do not wish to struggle through thousands of words to get at the smut. (Which, incidentally, can be found in chapters five and seven.) Or, perhaps, for those who cannot read the Glorfindel subtext.
Chapter One: Introduction
Ecthelion: Woe is me! I hate myself, for I have Unnatural Desires. And inappropriate dreams about Glorfindel.
Glorfindel: I just thought I'd pop by and tell Ecthelion that I have lustful thoughts and dreams. Not sure why, really.
Ecthelion: *Is too busy staring at Glorfindel's hair to hear him.*
Captain Elemmakil Exposition: Aredhel is planning to leave the city; Glorfindel is to go with her.
Chapter Two: Cliche Alcohol-Related Fumbling Scene
Egalmoth: I am to be the second member of Aredhel's escort. Let's have a party.
Partygoers: *Drink, sing, etc.*
Glorfindel: I am going to miss Ecthelion. *Drinks.*
Ecthelion: Glorfindel is drunk. It is surely my duty to take him home.
Glorfindel: Wow, Ecthelion looks very attractive. I think I will take off my clothes and start rubbing his shoulder in a suggestive manner.
Ecthelion: I hate myself for desiring someone who is not only male and sloshed, but also completely uninterested in me.
Sergeant Exposition: Hey, Ecthelion, you are going with Aredhel, too.
Chapter Three: Plot and Pretentiousness
Glorfindel (blushing): Um, Ecthelion, about last night... Did anything happen?
Ecthelion: No.
Glorfindel: Damn.
Aredhel and her escort: *Leave Gondolin.*
Aredhel: Obey me, oh lesser beings, for I am Finwe's grandchild. We will ride to Himland, through Doriath.
The Elves Of Doriath: No you won't, not if you want to visit a Feanorian. *Spit.*
Aredhel: Fine. We will ride to Himland, through the Valley Of Dreadful Death. Ooh, I can't wait to kill something, preferably a spider.
Glorfindel (irrelevantly): I think that love between two warriors can be a beautiful thing -- it is a pity that Ecthelion thinks it is hideous and obscene. But I do hope that he is impressed by how patient I am around the most irritating woman on Arda.
Ecthelion: Glorfindel is clearly in love with Aredhel. I hate myself for minding.
Chapter Four: Mostly Action
Everyone: *Fights some orcs.*
Ecthelion: *Has a dream that rather defies summary.*
Aredhel: I have a great idea! Let us go annoy some giant spiders.
Everyone: *Fights some giant spiders.*
Ecthelion: This chapter is kind of boring and lacking in slash. Glorfindel, why don't you give me a backrub?
Glorfindel: Good idea. Incidentally, I am not in love with Aredhel. And I think you are the most attractive person I know.
Ecthelion: *Remains oblivious.*
Everyone watching this, including the giant spiders: *Is starting to find his obliviousness irksome.*
Chapter Five: Cliche Fake-Dream Scene
Aredhel: My guards seem to be on the verge of dragging me back to Gondolin in a sack. I think I will take one of our two remaining horses and leave.
Everyone else: *Is too busy fighting spiders to follow.*
Ecthelion: My first-aid techniques leave much to be desired. *Falls over.*
Glorfindel: *Drags Ecthelion into a secluded shelter.* You know, I have been obsessed with you since the Ice.
Ecthelion (oblivious as ever): What an interesting dream! *Fondles Glorfindel.*
Glorfindel: Woohoo! And yet -- hasty, impersonal pity-sex is not exactly what I had in mind. I am so embarrassed now.
Everyone: *Follows Aredhel, fights spiders.*
Egalmoth: *Conveniently disappears.*
Ecthelion: *Gets a clue.* Glorfindel, I am sorry I molested you.
Glorfindel: That's fine -- those were the best three minutes of my life.
Ecthelion and Glorfindel: *Kiss.*
Lurking spiders: Aaaaw. Cute. *Cuddle*
Chapter Six: Lots of Talking
Spiders: *Lurk.*
Ecthelion and Egalmoth: *Sing.*
Spiders: *Lurk less.*
Ecthelion: Glorfindel, I think you and I should just be friends.
Glorfindel: Um, okay. Like that will last.
The three guards: *Arrive in Gondolin.*
Turgon: I am very angry with you. Leave me, for now.
Ecthelion: *Kisses Glorfindel.* Oh, that was so wrong. We must never speak to each other again. No, I will not be swayed by logic.
Glorfindel: That works out fine -- I am the least logical person I know. For one, I believe that being gay will prevent me from rejecting women. I also believe that you owe me something for giving me the best three minutes of my life.
Chapter Seven: More Talking, but also Smut
Turgon: Go about your work, you three, while I force this fic to be consistent with the Silmarillion.
Salgant: Oh, look at the three great warriors who are scared of spiders! *Sings.*
Ecthelion: *Channels his inner Bitchy Gay Artist.*
Glorfindel: I am worried that sleeping together will ruin our reputations.
Ecthelion: That is so wrong, because--
Glorfindel: Ah! You have convinced me! Let's have sex.
Ecthelion and Glorfindel: *Have sex.*
Ecthelion: Oh Eru! What have I done?
Glorfindel: Allow me to distract you from your internalized homophobia with more bad logic. For example, did you realize that having more sex will help us defend at the city?
Ecthelion: Yes! And make us better at slaying Balrogs!
Curtain: *Falls on weird hair fetish scene.*
-----
