Cold are the waters of Cuiviénen by belegur

Chapter 1

. . .

He stopped his work in order to shout at the dark: “Don't you like it? Don't you like it? Don't you like it?” Abruptly he quieted himself, and stared at the darkness in anger, as if listening. Then again he bent his head to his work, humming softly their sweet songs.

My wolf, my wolf,

seldom you come,

they told me,

but I listened

to none,

too cold are the waters

of Cuiviénen.

Again he stopped and looked upwards. “So what?” he whispered “I still like it.” he smiled “You remember how beautifully I sang?” Again he seemed to listen for a while, as in anticipation of praise. But then his face became angry. “And why not while doing this?” again he bent his head and laughed “Because it makes you sad?” he adjusted the light and tightened his grip on the scalpel “I am not listening” he said softly as he was preparing to make an incision “I am not listening” he said more loudly “Not listening to you. I am not listening. Not listening. You can't make me listen to you. I will not. Stop. Stop. Stop it. Stop talking. I am not listening. No one is listening to you. In fact, you do not even speak. You are not speaking, and I am not listening.” carefully and slowly he made the incision, and then said loudly “Never, never. You interrupted my song. You interrupted it. Not me. You. You. You!” he beat with his fist on the table and glanced upwards again “It was beautiful, and you stopped it.” he paused “I shall never forgive. Never, never. Never.” he looked at his work on the table and sighed “Then forgive. You are all mercy. I can't... I will not... I'm unforgiving and unmovable. Are you unforgiving and unmovable too? I always thought... Nevermind. But I'm not listening.” suddenly he raised his head towards the celling “What? All mercy? All mercy? Mercy? Be merciful? Merciful? As you? You? Be as you?” he smiled “You would forgive? All? All? Everything.” he shook his head “Not everything. Couldn't. A punishment? In this world or in the other? Both. In both. I know, it will be in both. Stop. Stop! Stop denying it!” he left the scalpel on the table and walked to the other side of the room “You lie. Lie. Liar. I know. It will be in both.” he laughed a little “I love you too.”

Chapter End Notes

The first two lines of "My wolf, my wolf" are a paraphrase of an Old English poem "Wulf and Eadwacer"