Home's Tale by Haeron

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Chapter 15

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The journey back to New Gondolin was a much speedier and joyful affair than previously, mayhap because my every footstep was not weighted with dread. The long road through glen and fields was familiar to us both (for entirely the wrong reasons, alas) and I daresay we were eager to put an end to the ills we had shouldered for too long, and so in slight haste we went. We would ride long into the evening and chase the burning sun’s disc through the trees; it was at those times I most regretted declining those invitations Glorfindel had issued me in New Gondolin, to come riding with him and the others down the hills and streams; the sensation was unlike anything else!

 

Everything seemed to melt from me as we rode against the breeze, all malice and repugnant thought stripped from me by the headwind. Of course, anxiety and some measure of fear still resided in me for we were returning to the land where I had fallen so mightily to despair after all, but not this time I would remind myself and take one or two heavy inhalations (tree sap and the autumn night chill, the air was divine), and this time I heeded my own wisdom. Often I would see Glorfindel stealing glances at me as he lead the way, smiling to himself. It was a treasured sight that had been absent too long.

 

At night we propped up a modest tent and roped the horses to a sturdy tree with enough length on the tie so they might wander a little way. There was barely enough room to sit upright in the tent, and I may have grumbled about it once or twice, but Glorfindel laughed and bade me lie down instead, clearly relieved I was able to complain about such menial things again. It was a strange thing to celebrate, my nagging, but it did herald some return to normality, I suppose.

 

We’d remove the trappings of travel from each other, slowly. Glorfindel looked in my eyes as I unlaced him from his breeches, and smiled when my breath quivered. He unbound my hair with grand ceremony, letting it fall about my bare shoulders and combing through the dark, loosely curled locks with his fingers. He buried his face in the crook of my neck and trailed hot kisses there so that I clutched at his back and let my head fall to the makeshift pillow of rolled up spare blankets and such. When the time came to sleep, I did so in his arms, chest to chest with nothing but the sound of his deep breaths and the nightingales to sustain me; but oh, it was enough.

 

When morning dawned we woke with hazy smiles and soft kisses just as we had always done. Glorfindel sang the praises of the new morning and the land left to travel and the sunshine to bask in as we went, I believe I may had made a very ungainly huff and attempted to wrest him back down for another stolen hour of dozing; but I might as well have been wresting a warg. So we were upon the road again bright and early and such was my contentment that I did not realise it was to be our last stretch before arriving in New Gondolin until Glorfindel told me so.

 

Something jolted my stomach. We’re nearly there. I had much to face up to and the urge to turn tail was ever a nagging thing in the back of my mind, but ignore it I must and ignore it I did. But I did wonder if things might be smoothed out so easily? If one week apart and a handful of merry days together riding would make things... better? Time alone would tell, it seemed, though the thought was little comfort.

 

A test was impending, certainly. One I must pass or else fail and lose everything.

 

Glorfindel held my hand when we were stood on Ecthelion’s doorstep for the second time. He watched me brush down my robes, a nervous reaction, and bent to let me kiss his cheek and whisper my readiness into his ear. Glorfindel; my titan of patience.

 

He knocked on the door thrice and those few seconds before Ecthelion unlatched it were the most nerve-wracking of my entire life and a most peculiar sense of déjà vu came over me, I’ve done this before, but this time it will be done better. My determination was fragile and I held my breath for the duration of the wait, in fact, I was probably turning purple by the time Ecthelion spied us.

 

He paused to gape for a moment, and then pulled us both into a hug and stammered his relief to see us side-by-side once again. I didn’t question how much he knew or how indeed he might have come to know so much, no, you’ll be surprised to know I clung to him; a subconscious manifestation of the desire I had to apologise for my treating of him, my thinking of him! I had been so wrong -- and the sensation was quite unusual to me!

 

When Ecthelion released us we were invited into his house again and I hesitated a moment before crossing the threshold, vividly reminded of my actions the last time I was here. Shame swelled in me, but I knew it must be beat, must be accepted and then moved on from. Glorfindel had stepped through after Ecthelion and now held his hand out to me; I steeled myself and took it. He smiled and led me in to the living room that was the same as I remembered (minus one crystal vase).

 

Only now it was daytime and the curtains were open wide. The sunshine spilled in and the shadows were short and insubstantial. It would be a fine day to sit out in the goat field, perhaps, but there was talking to be had that was not for the ears of the goats -- or any passing elves, for that matter.

 

Talk we did, for a long time, of all the things I had spoken of to Elrond and Celebrían -- so largely my own failings and absurdities. Ecthelion listened and nodded his head often, seeming to know already grand amounts of what I was divulging. He and Glorfindel had obviously conversed during my absence and whereas before the thought might have churned up a foul envy in my gut -- I found myself quite relieved that Glorfindel had had an ear to rely on. I met Ecthelion’s eyes as I came to the end of my grim monologue, having explained my distance and snobbishness, and here I ought to have done no less than fallen to my knees and begged his forgiveness! He was possessed of a kind face and warm eyes -- he did not deserve any of what I had inflicted upon him.

 

The time had come to apologise.

 

But, as you might expect with me being me, well, I royally fluffed it up.

 

‘Ecthelion,’ said I, full of intent to make it a grand and honest apology encompassing each aspect of my previous ill nature. But I choked at the very last moment. ‘Ecthelion, I am so very sorry I broke your vase.’

 

The Lord of the Fountain could not contain his smirk, and fell about laughing much to my embarrassment and surprise. Glorfindel was snickering too, sat beside me. He put an arm about my shoulder and as I whispered I wasn’t meant to say that! he said only my name, Erestor, with laughter in his voice and pressed a kiss to my temple.

 

‘Trouble yourself not over one dusty old vase! I understand, my friend, and thank you. You show me courage and honour.’

 

I felt so dreadfully wretched for a moment, a pale ghost of previous emotion. Courage and honour? Elbereth, there seemed to be no other two qualities that encompassed me less! But I balked not and bowed my head, Ecthelion’s forbearance and infinite warmness humbled me. He was a good sort indeed and as daft as it may sound, I rather felt a pride in myself at being able to admit so.

 

Small steps were still steps, you see.

 

Ecthelion clapped his hands together.

 

‘So, will you be staying again? The room upstairs is yours if you wish it!’

 

Glorfindel drew me closer to him with the arm about my shoulder, had he felt me tense? Even so, I was glad to lean on him.

 

‘Not this time, Ecthelion,’ he said genially, ‘we really ought to start thinking of more permanent lodgings for ourselves, besides!’

 

Ecthelion nodded thoughtfully. ‘Well I certainly understand, and even if you’ll not stay with me here then by all mean, rest up in my lady’s house for as long as she is absent.’

 

My lady?

 

My lady.

 

Ecthelion had a lady?

 

My mouth might have gone dry. Glorfindel gave me an exceedingly knowing look from the corner of his eye.

 

A flush, a wave, a torrent of utter relief came over me then, sat in Ecthelion’s living room where last I had felt so rueful and cruel. What an idiot I was, what a marvellous fiend I’d been!

 

He had a lady.

 

I’d been a fool, and yet I embraced the admission and cared not if my sudden smile was over-obvious. My chest felt lighter than ever it had done before!

 

Oh, how I should have known logic and reason would come to my rescue again -- my faith should never have faltered, not in them but neither in Glorfindel! I bade myself make another mental note to greet this lady of Ecthelion’s as treasured sister if ever our paths were to cross.

 

***

 

Glorfindel and Ecthelion desired some time to catch up and whilst they insisted I was quite alright to remain privy to their conversation I thought it best I remove myself and give them occasion to speak more openly; a thing I never would have done before, but I was abound on levity and might have gone skipping down the orchard lane.

 

But instead I wandered not too far at all and remained in Ecthelion’s garden. There was a patch of small purple wildflowers growing beside the fence and they bobbed their delicate heads, beckoning me over to join them. Upon the grass I sat, twining my fingers into the dewy blades and delighting in full lungfuls of outdoor air as though I had been locked up underground and ceiling and deprived of freedom for a century or two! A new chance had been bestowed upon me, one I was quite certain I would not waste.

 

A small flotilla of rotund white clouds chased the sun across the sky and I watched with my face turned heavenwards for a time, content to be as I had not been in a very long time.

 

‘Erestor?’

 

Grief, envy, loathing... These things held no sway over me. I was a creature of birdsong and peace now, as always I should have been.

 

‘Erestor!’

 

Happy. I was happy.

 

‘Erestor, young thing, don’t you rightly ignore me!’

 

My eyes snapped open and I startled myself, not even knowing I had closed them to doze against the fence posts! Who else might be gliding towards me dressed in lemon colours with fresh flowers in a wicker basket? The elder elleth, ah, and I believed my greeting smile had her feign a theatrical kind of shock.

 

‘My lady,’ said I as she perched herself next to me. She peered at me, probably thinking me to be ruddy and drunk or else quite delusional, but her expression cleared when laughter came from the house of the Fountain.

 

‘So it is done, then? You have broken words, all three of you?’

 

‘All three of us, yes. Much has been laid to rest that should never have woken in the first place, and the world is better for it.’

 

‘My sweet poet,’ she said, fondly, brightly, beaming at me and putting one of her delicate hands over mine. ‘I would say I do not believe it if my heart didn’t yearn for a happy ending! Shall we arrange a festival in celebration?’

 

The elleth laughed when my smile dropped and she assured me that no, no, she would not do such a thing and that I might well stop pouting. I took the liberty of pouting just a moment longer before remembering something I had meant to ask and leant forward to her though I was quite sure there were no others around who might chance to eavesdrop.

 

‘Ecthelion has a lady, or so I have heard, why have I not met her yet?’ I asked, hoping to sound casual but the elder’s wry smirk told me I had not quite struck the mark.

 

‘She is part of the company gone visiting the woodland realms, Erestor, and will be back soon enough, or so we hope.’

 

‘Ah, and this is the same company that your husband rides in?’

 

‘The very same, they have family in those forest places and many relatives fresh from the boats of Endor.’

 

I wondered of the woman who might have captured Ecthelion’s heart and of her being so far away. Let us hope she takes kindly to her house being rented out during her absence, thought I and wondered how prudent it might be to have Glorfindel lock up any vases of fragility before we took our lodgings there.

 

‘And what is she like?’

 

‘Oh, she is a good girl. She met with a bad end during the Fall but then many other folk you find living here can well claim the same or worse, you know that. But she keeps Ecthelion whole and hale, much like yourself for Goldielocks.’ I bowed my head to smile modestly, but the elder made a sudden ah! ‘Look at that smile! Look at how beautiful you are! And how young! I’ll be wanting to see much more of it, you understand?’ she asked and I nodded, though I wasn’t wholly sure I did understand. Again.

 

The elleth winked at me, just how Glorfindel often did, and offered me a yellow flower from her wicker basket.