New Challenge: Potluck Bingo
Sit down to a delicious selection of prompts served on bingo boards, created by the SWG community.
King Turgon had descended to the lowest level of the white wall which surrounded the city of Gondolin. He held a sheet of paper in his hands.
"Duilin, open the gate."
The archer did so. To his astonishment, he saw the King crouch, then crawl in his fine, long robe past the small door. Soon enough, all that could be seen were the soles of his gilded slippers.
"Sire?"
With his grey, penetrating eyes, Turgon studied the immense smooth and black surface comprised of rock polished over the centuries. It looked more like glass than stone. The Noldo took his sheet of paper between his thumb and index finger. He held it against the polished stone of the cliff face, at just the spot where the wall ended. Then he let it go, and watched it slide perfectly to the bottom and land on the green lawn below.
"I'll never tire of this," he said.
* * *
"Tell me, Glorfindel," said the King in his deep, pleasant voice, "you told me that you were in Nevrast for three days, to see your parents. Is the capital still as beautiful?"
"Just as beautiful, Majesty," replied Glorfindel, who was wearing a necklace of sea shells. "And the sea air is very invigorating. Also, I saw your aunt Lalwen there, and extended your greetings."
"Good. You did not reveal the location of Gondolin, I hope? Not even to my family?"
"I said nothing, Majesty."
"Nor to my cousin Angrod?"
"Angrod? But I did not visit Dorthonion..."
"You did go rescue his son Orodreth while you were gone?"
The great constable cleared his throat.
"Well, the Lord of the Fountain asked me if he could complete this mission... And I thought such an experience would serve him well."
"Oh this isn't good! You sent that brat Ecthelion to rescue Orodreth?! He has trouble tying his own laces! Reassure me, tell me he's accompanied by battle tried warriors, mages, and rangers!"
"No Sire, he left alone... With his human squire."
"By Eru! With a human, no less! And since when are humans squires?"
"This is Belin the Blond, one of the sons of Eric the Miller, Majesty. He had no inheritance, and he was unemployed..."
"And so you thought you would make him a soldier..."
"On the other hand, Majesty, there are only trolls and vampires near lake Helevorn, nothing compared to your brother's trial."
Turgon shrugged his shoulders.
"Oh, you know, my brother never actually went inside Thangorodrim... he couldn't find the entrance... Trolls and vampires, you say?"
* * *
Two men walked through a somber tunnel. The one, with silver armor and long black hair with violet highlights was very tall and handsome. The other, who held the torch, was smaller, hadn't shaved in a week, and wore clothes rendered threadbare by the weather and the damp air.
"My poor friend," said Ecthelion, "you really seem miserable. Why do humans always seem miserable? I always said they're some species of poor wet dog."
"S'cuse me, milord. I swears I don't do it on purpose."
"I know, I know... And no need to hold the torch up like that, I don't need that much light to see. Elves can see pretty well in the dark. By Tulkas, how is it possible to be so small?"
"Yet I be the tallest in my family!"
"Oh God, I can't imagine how the others... And could you stop making grammatical errors every five minutes..."
The Elf stopped, leaned his sword against the wall, and pulled out a map from his bag.
"Good, according to the map Caranthir gave us, the vampires' lair should be just at the end of this labyrinth. That is to say left right left left from here."
* * *
"I think we are lost," said Ecthelion as he dropped down to sit on a large stone.
"Perhaps we should have left some small peebles on the floor, milord."
"Hmm, let's see... What would Fingon Fingolfinion, my idol, do in these circumstances?"
"Who's that, milord?"
"The most valiant of the Noldor. What would he do?"
The young Ecthelion then sang from memory the Lay of the Mad Quest by Hildor of the Pure Voice.
Lost and all alone
In danger and distress
His hair a frightful mess
Deploring that his loved
"No, this passage doesn't tell us anything... Look further down..."
And then he took his harp
In his hands strong and fair
And played a little air
He'd known in Valimar
When he had been content
"Yes, that's it!"
He took his silver flute out of his bag. Belin stared wide-eyed as the Elf began to play, in the underground tunnels. A happy tune, a simple, childhood tune...
And just as incredibly, a voice responded in the darkness.
At the clear fountain
I go at break of day
The silver water shines
And this is where I bathe
I loved you so long ago
But I never will forget
Ecthelion's face lit up at first. Then a bit of mangled grammar in the second verse caused him to raise an eyebrow; he turned to his squire and saw it was he who had been singing.
"Are you completely stupid or...??"
"But milord, I couldn't help meself... That's a tune I know well and it's so pretty..."
"MANWË SEND ME AID, OR I THINK I WILL KILL THE LITTLE BUGGER!"
"Ok, but what's that noise?"
It was a feminine voice they were hearing.
"William, go see if there aren't still Dwarves creeping around the corner... If there are, you have the right to eat them. Ai ai ai ai."
"The vampire!" Hissed Ecthelion.
He put away his flute and took up his great sword, ready to fight.
The fight did not last long. After they had silently killed the troll, William, the two adventurers had only to follow his footprints in the dust which led to a narrow corridor. This opened into an arch decorated with the odious symbols of Morgoth. But there, in the great hall where the feminine voice had come from, was the most unexpected scene.
In the back of the room, a young Elf with short blond hair was lying on a pile of cushions with a half naked vampire, kissing him lasciviously and running her clawed hands over his body. In another corner, trolls were playing cards and drinking wine.
"Orodreth?" blurted out Ecthelion.
"Ai ai ai," cried one of the vampires, who had the most attractive bodies, and raised a hand to stop the trolls from getting up. "Look, we have visitors."
"I love home delivery!" exclaimed one of the trolls.
She stood, clad only in a diaphanous skirt and black jewelry that stood out against her pale skin. And she stared into Ecthelion's eyes, who lowered his sword as Belin looked on incredulously.
"Milord...?" whispered Belin the Blond, left alone by the other succubi who judged him too mangy to be desirable.
The vampire placed her hand on the young Noldo's cheek, and traced his bare chin with a long, red fingernail, stopping just above his chain mail.
"Let yourself go, Lord of the Fountain," implored Orodreth in a vacant, far away voice. "She knows things... things you could never imagine... If you knew..."
"He's right," purred the she-demon, pressing her chest against Ecthelion's. "I know how to rid you of your excess blood... With my mouth."
"Milord, don't listen to 'er!"
But Ecthelion's darkened eyes didn't seem to see anything but the scantily clad vampire who was now talking about things to do with a sword left too long in its scabbard, or else some drilling-related activities.
"Milord!" cried Belin in desperation. "Think of Fingonfinion!"
Suddenly, the enchantment was broken, Ecthelion's pupils regained their normal size and shining gaze.
"TO YOUR DEATH, HARLOT!" he shouted.
* * *
A month later, the three young people had returned to Gondolin, and Ecthelion made his report to Turgon in the throne room.
"And that's when she turned into some kind of squid and caught me with her tentacles and held me still. But I had my helm with the point and I headbutted her. I'm sure Fingon Fingolfinion would have done the same. The blood spurted onto Belin, my faithful squire, but he remained undaunted. He took up a giant troll club and started beating the squid lady until she let me go."
Hildor the bard was totally excited. The King wasn't.
"And when you knocked out Orodreth, who you needed to save in the first place, when was that?" he asked coldly.
"After we had killed everyone, Sire. He didn't want to follow us and desired to await the return of Thuringwethil. So I knocked him out and carried him on my back."
"And is that why he has a concussion and the doctors say his cognition and decision making abilities are irreparably damaged?!" roared Turgon.
The proud Ecthelion looked skeptical.
"Personally, Majesty, I can't really see the difference from before."
* * *
Belin listened amazedly to Ecthelion - amazedly, and looking for all the world like a poor wet dog.
"And when I've finished teaching you how to speak correctly, we'll find you new clothes... And I'll teach you how to braid your hair, write letters, sing passably, and play the transverse flute. Civilization, that."