First Impressions by Grundy

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The Ocean Between

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Merilin was unsurprised to find that Artanis rejoined her as the hasty expedition got underway.

Having spoken once mind to mind, they were now able to manage well enough without direct contact, which Merilin was thankful for – the biting wind was blowing directly from the north, and she was relieved not to have to bare unprotected skin any longer.

They started by speaking of their respective families, Artanis filling in what the Lindar on this side of the Sea could not have known of Olu – who still went by Olwë – and Suyelirë’s children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews.

Merilin was cheered to hear how many kin she had living in the safety of Beyond The Sea, if somewhat sad that it was only these four and Artanis’ elder brother Finderato she had any realistic prospect of meeting in person. Curious as she was about them, she couldn’t imagine leaving Beleriand, or even Doriath.

Artanis was as good as Celeborn at silent speech, and like him, she could do not just concepts and ideas but pictures, so Merilin could see each of the kinfolk she spoke of in turn in her mind’s eye. She gasped in surprise at how much Olwë looked like his brother, differing mainly in the eyes, Olwë’s a deep blue where Uncle Elu’s were the silver of the stars.

Then it was Merilin’s chance to tell Artanis of her family, to relate the lines of Elu and Elmo and Alu. She also had the unhappy addendum of clarifying which still numbered among the living, and who had to be counted among the Lost. She doubted Artanis could catch glimpses of their faces in her mind, but she would meet them soon enough, the living at least. (It was to be devoutly hoped she would not meet any of the Lost. It might be somewhat less disturbing to kin who hadn’t known them before they were taken, but such encounters never went well.)

Merilin added the explanation that with so many kin slain or taken, Oropher and Celeborn’s hovering on this trip beyond the borders was unfortunately to be expected. If her new met cousin hadn’t already noticed it, she would before much longer.

In truth, I would be happy not to be the only one whose older brothers are trying very hard not to obviously fret about me, she told Artanis.

The longer they spoke silently, the less the language difference mattered, for even when using words, mind to mind one could easily pick up what any unrecognized word meant.

Oh, they’re doing a fair job of not being obvious about it, Artanis replied, with a musical laugh that drew looks from all the males of both parties that Merilin could see.

The wind howled bitterly, as if angry such a merry sound could be heard in spite of Bauglir’s machinations.

They are not obvious, but they are looking out for you, Artanis continued. I know the signs well.

Your brothers are doing the same? Merilin asked in surprise. She had not noticed that!

They may conceal it a bit better, but my brothers’ overprotectiveness is the entire reason I am here, Artanis replied, with considerably less mirth. Finderato hopes I will be kept in your Menegroth, behind the borders of Great-Aunt Melian’s protection, that he may have greater certainty of my safety.

Now it was Merilin’s turn to laugh, for she had no doubt her cousin Finderato’s strategy would be even more successful than he could have hoped – he has handed Uncle Elu another grand-niece to fuss over, and one who knows nothing of Beleriand at that. She will need years of training before their uncle considers her competent to move around outside Doriath safely.

You’ve certainly come to the right place for overprotectiveness, Merilin burbled. If it helps, I will still have it the worst, being the youngest, but just let Uncle find out that you are Olu’s only granddaughter and he will be wholeheartedly against you setting foot outside the Girdle without a small army guarding you, even once you have learned enough to travel! Though I hope you will want to stay. You would even the numbers for us girls, and Luthien and Nimloth would be pleased to have another for our side.

Indeed, she suspects Luthien will be a little pouty at not being the first to meet this particular new cousin – and all the more so once she heard how foolishly Celeborn had acted. She would definitely have wanted to see that for herself!

I am afraid I do not see how one girl evens the numbers when there are also three boys, not to mention another in Mithrim, Artanis said. Nor would I predict what I will want to do before I know enough of Doriath to reach any true decision. But I am puzzled you say brothers when Oropher is the only one you name as the child of your parents?

Merilin blinked.

Do you not also call the children of your aunt or uncle brother or sister? she asked.

Artanis’s face was difficult to see through the wraps keeping the wind and snow off, but it looked as though she were surprised at the question.

I suppose I do call Irissë my heart-sister, she replied at last. But that is because we are very close, begotten in the same month. Our mothers were constant companions, so we have known each other even before we glimpsed the light. But I would not call Curvo or Maitimo or Finno my brothers, or even Ambarussa.

The virtue of silent-speech was that Merilin could pick up the details that the cousins Artanis named were all sons of her father’s brothers, and Ambarussa were – no, was, only one Ambarussa now though once there had been two – particularly close. Merilin wordlessly offered comfort, for she could feel the loss was recent and terrible.

That death was normal in Beleriand must be shocking to those who had never before had to deal with it as part of daily life. Merilin wondered how it must feel to go from lands where no one died to this.

If you are in doubt about the relationship between anyone, ask us to clarify, she advised Artanis. It is quite normal for our people to call cousins brother or sister, or name other kin or even unrelated folk parents if they raised us after our own were lost.

Is that not disrespectful to the parents who gave begot you? Artanis asked cautiously.

Merilin could feel the concern that she might be offended, but more clearly the honest puzzlement at naming others parents when they were not.

No, she replied firmly. I do not forget my parents, nor does any other who has lost theirs. But we honor those who raise us and look after us in their absence, and in many cases the love between us is as great. It would be odd not to be honest about their place in our lives and hearts, or to name them as something less. I suppose in the West it is different, but here, we must take our family as it is, not as we might wish it were.

She was not sure what about that had startled Artanis, but she fell silent, thinking thoughts she was not yet ready to share.

Merilin, to make clear that she would not press her new met cousin about such things, began to speak instead of life in Doriath. She lingered on the many wonders of Menegroth, for she suspected that Artanis was going to stay there whether she particularly wanted to or not.

Artanis when she was ready to share again told Merilin of life in both Alqualondë (the city of the Lindar) and Tirion (the city of the Noldor.) In some ways, the two were similar, both being Beyond The Sea. But in other respects, Alqualondë sounded nearly as different from Tirion as Tirion was from any elven realm in Beleriand.

Engrossed in conversation, they passed a fairly pleasant hour and a half of what would otherwise have been a tense march. The storm worsened as they went until the snow was falling so thick and heavy that it was impossible to see more than a few feet ahead, and the guards in the trees took to silent speech to keep track of each other and give warnings.  Merilin could also hear Oropher and Celeborn’s growing concern that they might be forced to halt short of their goal.

She was relieved when the guards gave the word that they were at last drawing close to the grottos. The series of small caves in a south-facing dell would be better shelter from the storm than any lean-to or hastily built shelters they might otherwise contrive. The grottos not only had the virtue of having plenty of solid rock between them and any falling branches, a good many had been improved to make safe shelters for just this purpose, with windbreaks at the entrances and hearths for fires to make them comfortable for any Iathrim or guests stranded by bad weather.

The obvious drawback was that none were large enough to hold the entire group, which was nearly two dozen all told.  The caves weren’t large enough to allow them to hold more than a handful of people comfortably. They would have to split into smaller groups, down to pairs or perhaps trios for the smaller grottoes. The smallest grottos were also the nicest…

Merilin felt the spark of an idea – a chance for Celeborn to repair the poor impression he’d made on Artanis.

For the most part, each golodh had been paired with one of the Iathrim for the march, since the Iathrim knew the terrain while the visitors did not.

Aikanaro had been content to walk with Araseth, the pair of them shadowing Artanis and Merilin – and no doubt keeping at least one eye each on them at all times. While initially the two leaders had been walking together at the front, Angarato had dropped back to rejoin Oropher, continuing their efforts at puzzling out each other’s language. That had left a very pleased Artaresto to walk with Celeborn.

If Merilin hadn’t already guessed that Artaresto was of an age with herself, his obvious pride at being allowed to walk with the leader of their party would have given it away – not that she blamed him. She was sure if their positions had been reversed, she would have been just as proud to be accorded the honor of accompanying the leader of the golodhrim.

And really, it made what she had in mind so easy…

Artanis, would it be forward or unseemly by your people’s ways for me to walk with Artaresto? You are a delightful companion, but I know you are somewhat older and I would be interested to hear the impressions of one my own age.

Sure enough, she could feel from Artanis a mix of amusement that she should wish to speak with the other young person present and consternation that the logical consequence was that Artanis herself would be left with Celeborn.

I can introduce you to my cousin Celeborn in turn, Merilin offered as if she had not noticed that Artanis wasn’t particularly enthusiastic at the prospect. I know you have said your people are a bit funny about ellyn and elleth but among ours it is perfectly normal to socialize without regard to such things. You’ll probably find Celeborn more interesting than me anyway. He can tell you far more about the lands here -  he’s been outside the borders before, but it’s only my first time.

Artanis, of course, could hardly say no to such a hopeful appeal from her younger kinswoman, so Merilin was able to call out to Celeborn to wait.

Celeborn, Artanis has said I may walk with her nephew – we are nearly the same age!

Celeborn raised an eyebrow, not entirely taken in, but he did slow his pace that they might catch up.

Artanis made the introduction, and took Celeborn’s politely offered arm without any fuss, though she was plainly less pleased at being paired with him than Artaresto was at the chance to walk with Merilin.

She’d probably be still less pleased when she found out they’d be spending the night at least with their current companions, if not longer – it all depended on how long it took for the storm to blow itself out. But Merilinwas counting on her cousin to make the most of the opportunity she’d just dumped in his lap.