A Trail of Things Lost by Nitheliniel

Chapter 6: Dreams Preserved

The moment the head of the column reaches save ground, a soft silvery light rises on the horizon and reflects on the trumpets calling out their victory over the ice. The light holds the memory of Telperion’s soft silver and reflects in Artanis’ hair as in the hours of the mingling lights. She steps on solid ground, a symbol of the lights they have lost and an emblem of the light in their hearts, which helped them prevail. She turns and looks at the Noldor, an endless dark line on white and grey, now clad in silver, and while she is glad and relieved, her foremost feeling is pride. 

When the trumpets no longer ring, voices break out in songs of victory.

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Their second song of victory is far more subdued. Little time they have had for dreaming, before reality hit them howling and screaming, and with the stench of evil. The victory was great, but only because of Arakáno, who turned the tide of battle to their favour, and whom they have now also buried in another banner-marked grave.

“"ell me, what will you do?"

Nolofinwë’s question is sudden and though it should not be, it is unexpected. An awkward silence ensues, in which heads bow low over the small fire and the food they share, still marvelling at its heat, until it is broken by a curse from Irissë.

"M…, I burned my tongue!" she hisses and flashes them angry glances when, led by Lalwendë, around her the silence resolves in relieved laughter.

"I thank you, daughter, for the courteous information."

Though he mourns and though he chides, mirth is in her uncle’s full voice and for a moment, the younger forget what has been asked. Not for long, though. They are held in turn in a boring gaze, but when Nolofinwë stops at Findaráto’s face, it is clear to whom his original question is truly addressed. Still, it is as if his children feel their loyalty is being questioned and one after the other his three sons vow to follow him. Irissë does not speak and neither does it seem required, since no one remarks upon her silence. Artanis bristles at that, but her cousin, for once, seems not to mind. Her hand is on Itarillë’s back and for the moment this unasked for, but seemingly not unwanted task appears to be enough to quench Irissë’s own ambitions. Artanis does not think it will last long.

The four children of Arafinwë rise with their cousins and wait for them to bow their knees and then for their elder brother to give an answer. Only then, Artanis realises she knows little to nothing about Angaráto’s and Aikanáro’s minds and plans. Apparently, neither do they, since they are content to have Findárato answer for them all.

"Ye are our liege, my Lord," he finally says slowly, clearly testing the words while speaking. The question of kingship has not been discussed and thus Findaráto tiptoes around it, treading territory as difficult as the one they just left behind. "We accept your primacy and will be loyal to our lord as we are loyal to our uncle."

"King" is the one word he carefully omits, "fealty" is the other. Something loosens in Artanis’ chest when he bows, but kneels not, and his answer ends not in another oath. She is weary of vows and wishes not to be entangled in a pledge of allegiance she does not offer herself.

Nolofinwë’s eyes darken somewhat at this hesitant answer as clearly he had expected more fervour and his children become restless. They have only just lost their brother, now they wish for their cousins to remain by their side and fight for their cause.

"If called upon, we will come, my Lord, and fight at your side and the side of our family," Findaráto hastens to assuage the rising tempers. Only then he realises, he has not consulted with his own family. A quick glance suffices to assure him of his brothers’ consent, but on Artanis his eyes rest longer. She searches his soul while he silently asks for her mind and finally, when they both nod, they once more share a smile.

"But we seek for our own fortunes also and have braved the ice to see our visions of ourselves and of these lands come true. We wish for your leave to do so," he continues addressing all members of the dark haired group before them before he stops. When their uncle still does not speak but continues to probe into his eyes as if missing a part of the answer, it is Artanis who comprehends first.

"Your brother …," she begins and the way his attention immediately snaps towards her, tells her that her mark has been true. "With him we fight a common foe, but not, at the moment, for a common cause." Golden heads incline their approval. "We will not seek him out, nor his sons."

"They will find us," Findaráto mumbles straightening, but she may have misheard, her thoughts already racing over uncharted territory, mapping plains, rivers, and mountain ridges she had not yet even seen. They had walked in darkness, but light had returned to the sky, and on earth, she would shine the brightest.