(1) Comment by MithLuin for The Harper [Ch 1]
This is great! I love how you've created a very old 'feel' to this story, and the mystique of the blind bard is well done. I had not read that poem before, but I still understood the picture you were painting throughout - to see it at the end was a surprise! An ugly elf is quite different, but very effective and convincing - especially when contrasted to his voice! Poor, poor Maglor. Am I right in supposing that he gouged his own eyes out?
And since you requested concrit:
I doubt they actually breed the mountain goats - it sounds a lot more as if the mountain goats are still wild. You might want to reconsider your word choice here, if they are not tame.
While part of me *really* liked seeing songs I already knew (the lay from Cormallen, 'Gil-galad was an elven king...'), it would have been nice to hear an original composition at some point. We never heard any of the blind bard's songs. I realize that is a tall demand to make, but I am sure you could pull it off :)
The voice of your narrator is perfect for someone who had a rude upbringing in the outskirts of Rohan. But he does not sound quite...poetic...enough for a bard. I think it was the repetition towards the beginning that threw me. I understand there is a dichotomy in his character - I just wanted to give you some feedback on how he sounds, as a first impression.
I liked the framing device of him telling the young prince how he became a harper. It added layers of history to this story.
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