Something to chew on. by ford_of_bruinen

Something to chew on

Read Something to chew on

“That goat is looking at us.”

Saeros lifted his head, resting his chin on his lover’s stomach. “You know you are not meant to concentrate on the goats?”

“Of course I do, but the damned goat is watching us. Not grazing, not wandering around - just watching. It is creepy.”

Saeros snorted with amusement. “Wait until the rumour spreads around Doriath that Mablung, mightiest of warriors, lost his nerve because he was watched by a goat.”

Mablung ran a hand through his hair, watching the goat warily. “It is unnatural, that is what it is.”

“More unnatural than two men doing what we do?” Saeros’ voice was dry. “Most of Doriath would be less offended by your interest in goats than your interest in me, or else we would be inside on a bed rather than out here where your new friend can watch us do...what it is we do.”

“Maybe this was a bad idea after all.” Mablung reached for his clothes. “As you say, it is as unnatural as that damned goat.”

“Let me get this straight,” Saeros’ voice was flat as he sat up as well. “We have tried to find a place to do this for months, you - not me - stole some of the Lady’s valuable cheesecake from the kitchens to make this special and now, halfway through, you want to stop because a goat is watching us?!”

Mablung gave him an uncomfortable look. “They say the Lady sees all through the creatures of the forest.”

Saeros closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “So now our queen is spying on our illicit affair through the eyes of a goat. I see.”

“You are making me sound ridiculous.”

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Saeros shook his head. “No, beautiful, you are managing that all by yourself.”

“Does it not unnerve you at all?” Mablung looked at him, halfway into his tunic again. “Not at all?”

“Which?” Saeros asked acidly. “The goat or the idea of it being the queen’s eyes watching us?”

“Well, either…”

Saeros lay back on the mossy ground. “No. Leave if you want. I am staying here.”

“Naked?!”

“Yes. I might as well see to myself if you are leaving. And if the goat wants to watch then it can bloody well watch.”

Mablung blinked and looked down at him. “You are serious? You would let a goat watch… that… What if it decided to eat …things? They say goats eat anything.”

Saeros closed his eyes. “It could try and find itself spitted for roasting.” He relaxed into the moss, running a hand down his pale body. “Have you decided if you are leaving yet?”

Uncomfortably, Mablung looked at the goat again. “It is still watching you, you know…”

Saeros slowly ran his fingers around a pale nipple. “Well I guess I had better give it a show then.”

“You are horrible. Sinful. Completely shameless!”

Smiling wickedly, Saeros turned his head towards Mablung. “It never bothered you before… and who knows… Last time maybe a bunny was watching us, hiding in the grass…”

Mablung smiled against his will, reaching out to lightly trace a finger across Saeros’ lips. “Now you are making fun of me.”

Shivering, Saeros parted his lips, touching the tip of his tongue to the calloused finger. “Well, you must admit… it is rather funny.” His voice suddenly sounding husky. “Mablung of Doriath unnerved by the presence of an animal… Or perhaps it is not the goat that is the problem, perhaps you no longer like what I do?”

Mablung’s eyes darkened as he watched Saeros, his hands tying the last laces on his tunic. “Of course I do… You know that, I just…”

Saeros opened his eyes. “You just got distracted by the goat.”

Relieved, Mablung nodded. “Exactly.”

“While I was running my tongue along that significant erection, worshipping your body with my mouth and hands, you got distracted by a goat.” Saeros ran his hands lower on his body, teasing the sensitive skin at his groin while watching Mablung.

“When you say it like that…it sounds rather stupid,” Mablung agreed, his eyes following every movement Saeros made. “You are so wanton…”

Saeros’ voice was tinged with amusement. “You complaining?”

“By the Lady, no.” Mablung’s voice was hoarse as his hands started tearing at the newly fastened laces of his tunic. “Touch yourself for me… show yourself to your audience…”

“You,” Saeros started, letting his eyes fall closed again as he wrapped his fingers around his erection, stroking slowly, teasingly, “do not like an audience…as we have just discovered.”

“I might not,” Mablung agreed, moving closer, leaning down to kiss Saeros. He paused close enough for their breath to mingle without touch. “But you rather evidently do.”

Saeros laughed. “I like sex… you know that, and if anyone wants to watch they are welcome to do so.”

“Do you never worry about discovery?”

Shaking his head slightly, Saeros reached up, wrapping his fingers in the dark brown hair. “No. If they want to banish me for my desires I will go north. I doubt the Noldor would be as fussy, and the King himself has seen that no rumours leave Doriath.” Leaning up, he brushed his lips against Mablung’s. “Do you intend to talk the whole time we do this?”

Smiling into the kiss, Mablung leant down further, his chest pressing against Saeros’. “No. But I should tell you that the goat is still watching.”

Saeros groaned. “Not again. Ignore the damned goat and take me.”

Tutting, Mablung raised himself of Saeros. “So impatient. Always so impatient. How did you ever become an advisor?”

Thumping his head back against the ground with a frustrated growl, Saeros considered whether throttling his lover could in any sense be taken as erotic. “Stop. Talking.”

Mablung laughed as he sat up. “Where did you pack the oil?”

Saeros’ eyes flew open. “What do you mean, where did I pack the oil?”

“What do you think I meant?” Mablung’s voice was dry. “Where did you pack it?”

Staring at him, Saeros sat up slowly. “Tell me you are joking?”

Mablung gave him a confused look. “About what?”

Falling back to the ground, Saeros groaned, throwing an arm over his face. “I found a perfect secluded spot. I brought the wine. You stole the Lady’s favourite dessert, which, I should add, we have already eaten, and you forgot that you were meant to bring the damned oil?”

Covering his mouth with his hand Mablung stared at his lover for a moment. “Oh.”

“‘Oh’? That is all you have to say? After all you could think of to say about the goat, the only thing you can say about having forgotten the oil is ‘Oh’?”

Helplessly, Mablung looked at the naked Elf on the ground. “I am sorry?” he offered, wondering what else there really was to say.

“You are sorry.” Saeros’ voice was flat.

Mablung nodded. “Yes. I am sorry.” He lay down beside Saeros, staring up at the sky trying to peek through the leaves of the forest.

For a moment they were both silent.

“You know,” Mablung eventually broke the silence. “I think the goat is laughing at us.”

Groaning, Saeros a hard slap sideways, hitting Mablung. “Stop talking about the goat.”

Mablung turned his head, watching the animal that was still standing a short distance away. He could swear it was laughing; it looked… malicious.

The goat lowered its head, tugging off a few leaves from one of the low bushes before chewing them slowly and turning around, leaving the small clearing, her tail wagging as the presence in its mind withdrew.