Walking into Darkness by Aiwen

You May Call Me Coward

Some three hours after my talk with Meril Thorontir, Moriel and I were seated around Thorontir's dining table discussing the situation. There came a knock the door. Elris entered, and with him was Celebrimbor. We stopped talking. Why in Arda had Elris brought Curufin's son?

Celebrimbor met my eyes defiantly and announced "I want to make it completely clear that I have nothing to do with Curufin and Celegorm's actions in keeping Luthien prisoner and trying to convince her to marry Celegorm, or with their plan to leave Felagund to die and usurp the throne! They have left the path of honor and I want no part of their actions."

I blinked. "I'm glad to hear it. Celegorm is trying to persuade Luthien to marry him?"

"Yes. He's infatuated with her, and he also wishes to increase his power by allying with Thingol."

"Exactly how does he think that forcing Luthien into marriage will help him?" I asked. "Elu Thingol's reaction to Beren was bad enough; I dread to think how he will react to Celegorm's behaviour."

"I don't think he's thinking clearly. He thinks he can persuade her to fall in love with him, when it is blatantly obvious that she will have Beren or nobody. What I don't understand is why my father is going along with this. He normally has more sense!"

"I don't like it," Thorontir said. "Thingol could potentially start a war over this. We could be in as much danger from him as from the Feanorions."

"There is another danger here we have avoided mentioning," Moriel added. What if one or more of Finrod's party breaks? We need to get them out."

"Finrod won't break," Elris said.

"One of the others might, and you never know if somebody is going to break until they do. Morgoth's people have ways and means and Gorthaur is notoriously inventive." Moriel grimaced, and rubbed absently at her wrists.

"I would go and get them if I could only figure a way to do it that would actually work. However, I cannot see one that doesn't involve starting a war with the Feanorions," I said.

In the end we decided to present the situation at the council meeting already planned for late tomorrow, and spent most of the night discussing tactics. I began to hope that we might actually be able to rescue Finrod without a kinslaying, and retrieve Luthien from Celegorm's clutches. Why had I felt so alone before?

The meeting was utter chaos almost from the moment I announced Finrod's captivity. Everybody was try to talk at once and it first it seemed that no two people agreed with anyone else. After the first minute, however, it rapidly became obvious that there was going to be two main groups, one centered around Thorontir and myself, and the other centered around the Feanorions. I grabbed the gavel in front of me and slammed it down on the table. Silence fell. I was shaking with tension, but I spoke as we had planned:

"I will hear everyone's suggestions, but not simultaneously. Lord Thorontir, you may speak first."

"I move that we rescue the king. A large assault force - not to attack Minas Tirith but merely to appear to threaten it, while a small group goes into the tunnels. Prince Orodreth and I have already found at least some of the volunteers who would be needed for such a group."

Arnil spoke next. "We cannot rescue them. The people have already spoken against going to war, and without the large force your plan has no shadow of a chance of working. All it does is provide Gorthaur with more people to torture and increase the chance of him finding all of us. If you do send a large force having by some miracle manage to persuade people to follow you, then his spies will follow us home and he will find us."

"Gorthaur may not know yet know who he has caught," said Curufin. "If I were Finrod, I would have gone disguised. If you bring the entire Nargothrond army with banners waving, Gorthaur is going to realize exactly whom he has, and guard him so close that you will never rescue him. Indeed, my cousin has more chance of survival without any rescue attempt being made. I still remember what my brother was like when they brought him back from Angband - having Morgoth's personal attention is far worse than simply being captive. We must not bring that fate on him if he has any chance of escaping it."

"They haven't a hope of escape," said Thorontir. "If you leave him there, he is dead or worse. And it's your fault he's there in the first place."

"It is not my brother's fault." Celegorm retorted. "We told him not to go on this quest; we told him it was madness - you all heard us! You agreed with us!"

"Only because you threatened us with kinslaying," said Thorontir. "I've been thinking about that, and I don't think we should give in merely because we are afraid that you will harm us. How many times are we going to end up doing this and when do we stop? When the Doriathrin army arrives at our door to demand Luthien's return? When they start to kill?"

"Lord Thorontir, I am hurt by your imputation," said Curufin. To my astonishment, he actually managed to look hurt. "We are bound by our oath just as Finrod is by his, but we have never threatened you and yours. As for Luthien, she is here for her own protection after we found her wandering alone and distraught in the forest without so much as a dagger for her own protection. I fear her mind is unstable, and it would be murder on our part to set her loose."

"And I quote: 'Do you want another Alqualonde?' That sounded like a direct threat to me. I feared for my baby daughter." The shouting began again. I looked around me: Finrod's allies appeared to be fewer than the Feanorian group, and more numerous than either were those who remained silent. The argument was getting quite heated: Celegorm had gone red in the face, and Celebrimbor had gone white-faced and silent after his father glared in his direction. Finally they paused.

"Perhaps we could leave out the personal slurs and consider how we are to rescue the king?" suggested Guilin.

"We should vote on whether to try to rescue him. Shouting will get us nowhere, and none of us is changing our minds," Arnil added.

We would lose that vote, I could tell. Give up now, and we would avoid a kinslaying. Continue, and who knew what would happen.

We lost the vote. Four yeas: myself, Thorontir, and two unknowns. Six nays and ten abstentions. I should have stopped then, but I could not and the bitter words poured out of me anyway. "Oaths of fealty broken once, broken twice. We are reduced to voting upon our King's life - and voting for his death because we are too afraid to follow where he leads. Yet you call me coward?" My voice broke, and I became aware that I was dripping tears onto the table. "I am ashamed to know you."

The others looked away, embarrassed, either by my tears or by my words, I knew not which.

"I wish we could rescue him, but I don't think it's possible. After all, if he has been there a month he may well be dead by now." lady Tariel said sadly. I looked at her, and found no words to say.

The next weeks were some of the worst I have ever known. Having given up on the only thing of real importance right now, I could not even pretend interest in the laying of sewers or the heating requirements of the great hall. Council and the government continued without me, and I spent most of my time sleeping or listlessly trying to read.

Other people, however, did not seem to find the situation so intolerable. There was the usual festival at the equinox. The torches flared, the people sang, and there was music and feasting in the halls. I came, one of the few public appearances I made at that time, but I took no joy in it and retired early, leaving Celegorm to preside over the proceedings. He at least appeared to be enjoying himself. Murderer. It was hard to believe that I had ever liked or trusted him. How could I have been so blind? But there was nothing I could do.

Then Luthien escaped. The Feanorions absolutely would not believe that I had had nothing to do with it, and they entered my house and asked me questions until Meril fetched four of the city guards, who threatened them with physical harm if they did not remove themselves and apologize immediately. They had apparently forgotten that I was at least by law the lord of the city. They made the bare minimum of an apology and left. I then discovered that they had arrested both Thorontir and Moriel on suspicion of involvement. However, under fire from me, the council and a crowd of angry citizens, Celegorm and Curufin released them after less than a day, and the situation calmed down. We waited, not knowing what would happen next.

Beneath the surface, however the tension had risen near to the breaking point. I was forced to imprison over thirty people for politically-related brawling over the next few weeks, and the prison guards complained that they had been forced to separate the Feanorian supporters from the others lest the brawling continue within the prison walls, and that they were running out of space. I feared to do anything lest the situation explode entirely. So, apparently, did the Feanorions, for they did not argue with me on this.

A letter came to me from Elu Thingol, which included a letter that Celegorm and Curufin had sent to him informing him that Celegorm would be marrying Luthien whether he willed it or not, that Felagund was dead, and that they were the lords of Nargothrond. They didn't bother to mention that I lived or was officially ruling. Thingol also threatened war against Nargothrond if Celegorm attempted to wed his daughter by force, or imprisoned her there. Introducing this spark into the current atmosphere seemed like a poor idea, so apart from informing Thingol that his daughter was no longer in Nargothrond I kept silent for the present.

A/N: I am using Feanorions to mean "sons of Feanor" and "Feanorians" to mean people of and supporters of Feanor and his sons and grandson. I hope this seems reasonable to everyone.

I've always felt sorry for Orodreth in this situation. He really doesn't handle it well. Still, there might have been worse outcomes. Civil war, for example. Imagine Angrod in this situation, with his temper... or Turgon, for that matter. Orodreth could have done worse.