Finrod’s Rematch by Cirdan

Finrod’s Rematch

The armies of Gil-galad and Elendil had laid siege to Mordor for seven years. "A year for each star of the Sickle of the Valar," Elrond said. And he predicted that the war would not last much longer. Sauron was at the end of his resources. Gil-galad nodded to this and did not let his guard down.

Perhaps on the very eve of the day when Sauron would have come forth to attack Gil-galad in desperate combat, Finrod came to the camp of the Elves. He was quickly brought before Gil-galad, for his hair was that of the golden Vanyar and the light in his eyes was that of one who had died and returned. No one knows what was spoken between Gil-galad and Finrod.

The next day, Finrod rode out to the Black Gates of Mordor. He was not shot by the Orcs that guarded the Gate, for something of his gentle nature stirred something in the Orcs. They remembered that they did not want to be serving the Dark Lord and only did so out of fear. They also wanted this war to end. And so Finrod came to the Gates and rapped on it with the butt end of his sword.

"Sauron! I know you can hear me in there," Finrod said. "I challenge you." There was no answer. Gil-galad had predicted as much, but Finrod had a plan to draw the Dark Lord out. "I propose a contest that would require neither combat nor songs of power. Let us play what the humans call 'strip poker.' The loser of each round takes off one article of clothing, and in the end, the loser's spirit will depart from his body."

Finrod dismounted then and turned around for Sauron to see the goods. His golden hair twirled as he spun, and Elrond, who was watching from a safe distance with a number of other Elves, groaned for he knew that Sauron would not be able to resist this. Finrod was dressed in armor, but his fair form was still obvious beneath that metal. Sauron had seen him naked before, when Finrod had been kept as prisoner in the dungeons of Minas Tirith on the Isle of Sirion. Beren and Finrod's ten companions had also been stripped so that it would be less obvious who was the object of Sauron's desires, but Finrod had apparently read his mind.

Sauron came forth in his black armor, and Elrond almost suspected that he had added the cape and extra arm and leg guards so that he would have an added advantage over Finrod.

"Fine. Strip poker," Sauron said in his dark voice. "Folding counts as losing. Here, before many people, so that there will be no foul play."

"You're more likely to play foul than I," Finrod said. "Iluvatar be our witness." He drew out an unopened deck of cards and cut the wrapping of the deck with his ring. Smoothly, he opened the package of cards with one hand and then handed it to Sauron to check the cards. Sauron flipped through the deck, nodded, and handed it back to Finrod.

"Who shall be the dealer?" Sauron asked.

"Well, there is no neutral party, so I propose that we use Elrond, for he will deal fairly and is even descended from Luthien the Fair," Finrod said. In addition, Finrod undoubtedly knew that Elrond would not cease the game if Finrod began to lose.

"Very well."

Elrond came forth, and a table was set between the two. They began to play, and it became quickly obvious that Sauron's armor was made of many plates whereas Finrod's was far simpler. The Elves groaned as Finrod became slowly stripped to the waist while Sauron was still almost fully covered except for his hands. They took a break then, and as Finrod drank some water to refresh himself (for it was very hot and dry in the land of Mordor), many came to ask him to cease this challenge.

"I will follow this game to the bitter end, if bitter it must be," Finrod said. His golden hair flowed about his bare shoulders, and even his fellow Elves had trouble containing themselves, for he was truly very fair and his mild manner made him all the more appealing. "I have already died once. I do not fear dying again."

"It's not death that worries me," Gil-galad said gruffly. "Before you are forced to leave your body, you will be stripped down to, well, your bare body."

Finrod shrugged. "It is the price of such a dangerous contest."

They returned then to the game, and Finrod hit a lucky streak. Though he lost his boots and the armor about his legs (he wore pants underneath his armor to prevent chafing), Sauron had also become stripped to his undergarments. Oddly enough, Sauron chose to keep his helmet over taking off his socks. The tension was high, not the least because of the fair form of Finrod Felagund.

"He's still wearing a lot more than you," Gil-galad said worriedly. "Are you sure you don't want to turn back?"

"Positive."

The third round of the game of strip poker began, and now luck seemed to be on neither side. Each lost progressively more clothing, and the Elves were in an uproar when Finrod was finally forced to take off even his underwear. (The Orcs were in no less of an uproar, but that was for a different reason entirely.) Finrod slowly and reluctantly slid the last of his undergarment down his legs and added it to his pile of clothes. Sauron still wore his helmet, but there was no mistaking his perverse pleasure at this, for he had also lost all of his armor and his pants bulged with unhidden glee. Finrod pushed his golden hair back, though perhaps he should not have for his raised arms revealed the flexing muscles of his stunning body.

Finrod sat again in his place with only the faintest blush upon his cheeks. The next round he lost would force him to flee his body. Though he was laid bare before many eyes, his eyes narrowed and he turned his full attention to the game at hand. He was rewarded for his valor, and Sauron was forced even to remove his helmet to reveal his dark face. He had lost his ability to assume fairer forms since the Fall of Numenor. Still, Sauron had his underwear on while Finrod had nothing at all, not even his earrings. All those upon the battlefield held their breath as they watched the cards being dealt.

Finrod won the round. Sauron fumed but took off his underwear. It hardly mattered. He was nothing to look at. Now, both Finrod and Sauron were naked, and the next game would determine who would leave his body. Elrond wiped the sweat from his brow then passed out one card after another.

"You lose, Finrod." Sauron grinned and revealed his cards. He had a straight flush: 9, 10, Jack, Queen, and King of clubs.

Finrod rose from his seat and leaned over to get a better view of Sauron's cards, and his face was unreadable (perhaps because everyone was staring at his rear). Indeed, it was a legitimate straight flush. He sighed and then straightened himself.

"The Curse of the Noldor..." Finrod said solemnly. Sauron grinned as he looked upon Finrod's naked flesh. "The Curse of the Noldor," Finrod began anew, "ended in the First Age." He slapped his cards down. "Read 'em and weep, Dark Lord."

Everyone gasped as Finrod revealed a royal flush: 10, Jack, Queen, King, and Ace of hearts.

Sauron upturned the table in his fury. "NO!!!" But he could not stop his spirit from leaving his body, for Finrod had invoked the name of Iluvatar at the start of the game. Sauron's face became twisted with pain as he tried to hold on, but his dark eyes suddenly went blank, and his body crumbled into ashes.

Elrond hurriedly handed Finrod his cloak, and Finrod covered himself and continued to gaze at the ashes of Sauron that were being borne away by the wind.

"How did you know you would win?" Elrond asked.

"I didn't," Finrod admitted. "But the Curse of the Noldor long ago spoke of treason of kin unto kin, and since my return from the Halls of Mandos, I have learned to trust in the Royal House of the Noldor."