A Beleriand Treasury of Childish Tales by Clodia

| | |

Goldilocks and the Three Balrogs

 

“Goldilocks and the Three Balrogs”

taken from

A Beleriand Treasury of Childish Tales

as told to

Erestor and Melinna of Ered Luin

(with apologies of a more-than-orientally-splendid nature to Rudyard Kipling)

 

 

 

 

Once upon a time, O my Best Beloved, in the High and Far-Off Days when the Sun was new, there was a city in the Shadowy Mountains fifty miles North of the Forest of Brethil and forty miles West of the Pass of Anach (that is magic). Now there are four hundred and fifty-two stories about this city, which was called Gondolin on every day of the year except when the Wind came whistling out of the East, and then it was known as Ondolindë instead; but this is not one of them. It is not the story of the Eagle’s Gossip, or the Man who came from the Sea. It is not the story of the King’s Daughter, or the Mole who loved Unwisely, or the White Wine of Nienna. It is the story of The Most Noble Lord Yellow-Tresses of the House of the Golden Flower; and we will call him Goldilocks, for short. He was not a Sinda or a Silvan or a Teler, or even a Vanya, which he might well have been, but don’t ask me why just now. He was a Noldo, and he lived most cosily in that city called Gondolin (or Ondolindë when the Wind was wrong), and he had ’sclusively yellow hair that shone like gold in the sunlight. (And you must not forget his hair.)

Now attend and listen!

Gondolin-Ondolindë was beautiful. It had white walls, high towers, broad stairways and shining fountains. It was built on an island in a valley that had held a blue lake in the Time of the Very Beginnings; and its builders were Elves who had once lived in Valinor and were quite convicted that they were the most ’scruciatingly brilliant city-builders that ever there were. It was as fair as the mountains that slumbered beneath the Moon, and of all the cities that once stood in lost Beleriand, only Elu Thingol’s Thousand Caves were fairer.

Gondolin-Ondolindë was hidden. Deep under the mountains that snaked round the valley lay the Outer Gate. Past the Outer Gate was a passageway called the Dark Guard; and past the Dark Guard was a ravine guarded by seven gates and the warden Ecthelion, and this ravine was called Orfalch Echor. And altogether apart from all this, the very great Vala Ulmo of the Sea had once come up from the River Sirion dressed like a fish in silver mail and made a Magic for the hiding of Gondolin.

And yet Gondolin-Ondolindë was not safe. The Gondolindrim very seldom went out of the city, and when they did they were sorry for it. Once they tried to win a battle against all the enemies of all the Elves in one week, but on the sixth day a Balrog came out of the North and scattered their army with three blows. The King of Gondolin was very surprised and said, “O Balrog, who are you?” And the Balrog said, “O Elf, may Morgoth reign forever! I am the greatest of thirty thousand brothers, and our home is in the iron vaults beneath Angband. We heard that you were going to defeat all the enemies of all the Elves, and my brothers sent me to ask when your army would be ready.” The King of Gondolin was more surprised than ever and said, “O Balrog, you have scattered all my army that I made ready to defeat all the enemies of all the Elves.” And the Balrog said, “O Elf, may Morgoth reign forever, but do you really call that an army? Where I come from we breed twice as many Orcish soldiers every month from Elven prisoners.” Then the King of Gondolin fell flat on his face and said, “O Balrog! I went to war to show my cousins that the Gondolindrim still remember why the Noldor left Valinor, and not because I really cared about defeating the enemies of the Elves. Now I am humbled, and it serves me right.” So the Gondolindrim went back to Gondolin, and the Outer Gate was closed, and a law was made so that no one who came to the city could ever go out again. After that, all the enemies of all the Elves knew that there was a city in the Shadowy Mountains; and now the real story part of my story begins.

 

 

[Picture]

[This is the picture of the Balrog that came out of the North and scattered all the army that the King of Gondolin had made ready to defeat the enemies of the Elves. He was really a very naughty Balrog, and his Daddy had to spank him ever so often and also his twenty-nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine other brothers that lived in the iron vaults beneath Angband. You know he was the greatest of them all, and so his name was Gothmog, Lord of Balrogs and high-captain of Angband. The Elf on the left is the King of Gondolin and beside him is Goldilocks (you must particularly remember his hair). The warden Ecthelion is on the other side of the battlefield, so I haven’t drawn him. I think it would look better if you painted the Balrog red and the Elves yellow.]

 

 

Gondolin still stayed hidden for ever so long. It stayed hidden while Nargothrond fell and while Túrin fought his Dragon; and when Lúthien went out of the World really and truly, it was hidden as well. And when the Man came from the Sea (but remember, Best Beloved, this story is not about him) and told everyone that there was no more Magic for the hiding of Gondolin, everyone was still sure that the city was hidden; and of course they were wrong. Then the Man (his name was Tuor) married the King’s Daughter and the Baby was born, and all of the Gondolindrim as well as Goldilocks were most ’scruciatingly joyful. (Well, all but for one, but this story is not about him either). And presently there came an evening when the Sun glowed red and the sky was dark; and over the Shadowy Mountains to the North came all the enemies of all the Elves.

Then the Gondolindrim were aghast and the King was astounded and everyone knew really and truly that there was no more Magic for the hiding of Gondolin. And the King’s Daughter came to Goldilocks with the Baby in her arms and said, “O Goldilocks, a secret way has been prepared beneath the walls, for I am wise and I believed the Man who came from the Sea. Now let us escape from the enemies of the Elves.”

“O my Lady,” said Goldilocks, “what of your father?”

“My father bids us leave,” said the King’s Daughter, very sorrowful. “For he is a King; and you know what Kings are like.”

So while the enemies of the Elves were breaking down the walls, Goldilocks (you will not have forgotten his hair) ran among the towering spires and marble steps and tumbling fountains with the King’s Daughter and the Baby and the Man who came from the Sea, till they came at last to the square that was called the Square of the King. And there was the Balrog that once came out of the North and scattered the army of the King of Gondolin. Now this Balrog was really and truly great and he had a fiery whip that went cerr-rack! when he cracked it, and Goldilocks and the King’s Daughter and the Baby and the Man who came from the Sea were all very surprised indeed.

“We must go back!” said the King’s Daughter, and the Man said, “We cannot!” and the Baby began to cry as all Babies have cried since the Time of the Very Beginnings and will always cry until the Very Last Changing of the World. And even though Goldilocks knew that the Balrog was too big to fight, he stepped forwards into the Square of the King and said, “O Balrog, let us pass!”

“Who’s that trying to cross my Square?” growled the Balrog and cracked his fiery whip, cerr-rack! Just like that!

“Lord Goldilocks!” said Goldilocks in his bravest voice. “Let us pass!”

“Oh no, you don’t!” said the Balrog. “I’m going to feed you to the Wolves for breakfast!”

And so he would have done, only the warden Ecthelion came rushing into the Square at that very moment and sent the Balrog tumbling into a fountain. Then the fiery whip was all put out and the water hissed and the steam came rushing up in great foggy puffs and fluffy white clouds, and the greatest Balrog of them all was never seen again. So that was all right, Best Beloved, wasn’t it?

On went Goldilocks and the King’s Daughter and the Baby and the Man who came from the Sea. The Dragons had torn the walls down by now and there were Orcs and Wolves and Trolls and all manner of horrid creatures all through the city, but they came almost to the secret way that had been prepared by the King’s Daughter without meeting any of them. As they went, they met many of their friends and dear families hurrying away from the enemies of the Elves, and the King’s Daughter went statelily forward to meet them and said, “What is your trouble, O friends?”

“What is our trouble?” they cried. “We were living peacefully in our white city, as is our custom, when upon a sudden Gondolin was besieged; and now we are trapped in a perilous and noisome city, and the walls are torn down, and Dragons and Balrogs are stalking through the streets! That is our trouble, O Daughter of the King, and we are most extremely troubled on account of that trouble, for it is a troublesome trouble, unlike any trouble we have known!”

Then the King’s Daughter said, “O friends, a secret way has been prepared beneath the walls, for I am wise and I believed the Man who came from the Sea. Now let us escape from the enemies of the Elves.”

“O my Lady,” said the friends and dear families, “what of your father?”

Then up and spoke Goldilocks (have you forgotten his hair?) and he said, very sorrowful, “Wise is the King’s Daughter, who has prepared a secret way beneath the walls; and stubborn is her father, who bids us leave! For you know what Kings are like.”

So on went Goldilocks, and the King’s Daughter, and the Baby, and the Man who came from the Sea, and the friends and dear families, till at last they came to the secret way that had been prepared by the King’s Daughter. And there by the entrance was a Balrog! He was the smallest brother of that great Balrog that had once scattered the army of the King of Gondolin and he had a little whip that went hiss-ss! when he cracked it.

Forwards stepped Goldilocks, sword in hand. “O Balrog,” he said, “let us pass!”

“Who’s that trying to enter my Passage?” squeaked the Balrog and cracked his little whip, hiss-iss! Just like that!

“Lord Goldilocks!” said Goldilocks in his fiercest voice. “Let us pass!”

“Oh no, you don’t!” said the Balrog. “I’m going to feed you to the Trolls for lunch!”

“Let us pass!” cried Goldilocks and, “Let us pass!” cried the King’s Daughter and, “Let us pass!” cried the Man who came from the Sea and the friends and dear families all at once, and they made a most terrible noise. The Baby did not shout, for it was cooing over the Balrog’s little whip.

The Balrog looked at the sword (and it looked very sharp) and he counted the King’s Daughter and the Man and the friends and dear families (and they looked very cross) and he said, “Perhaps I shall not feed you all to the Trolls. Perhaps I shall only feed that Baby to the Trolls. Or perhaps –” (for he saw that this made everyone look very cross indeed) “– perhaps I shall go elsewhere and find other Elves for the Trolls to eat for their lunch.”

Then the smallest Balrog curled up his little whip, and he put his claws behind his back, and he tiptoed away most mousy-quiet. So that was all right, Best Beloved, wasn’t it?

After the Balrog was altogether gone, Goldilocks and the King’s Daughter and the Baby and the Man and the friends and dear families all went through the secret way beneath the walls, and so they came out of the besieged city into the Shadowy Mountains. ’Member these weren’t the Blue Mountains, or the Iron Mountains, or the White Mountains, but the ’sclusively high, stony, icy-cold Shadowy Mountains, where there was darkness and dangerous caves and ’sclusively snow-coloured clouds all over. The Wolf and the Orc and the Troll lived there, and they were ’sclusively fierce and dangerous beasts; but the Eagle, he was the ’sclusivest dangerous beast of them all – a golden-sleek and bird-shaped kind of beast, and he would fly above the Shadowy Mountains and watch out for the enemies of the Elves. This was very bad for the Wolf and the Orc and the rest of them; for he would perch on the crags looking just like a bit of sunlit rock, and when the Wolf or the Orc or the Troll came by he would surprise them out of their jumpsome lives. He would indeed!

 

 

[Picture]

[This is the Eagle, King Thorondor, who is Quite the Oldest Bird in all Middle-earth. I have drawn him from a statue that I made up out of my own head, and I have written his name on his crown and on the crag that he is sitting on. I have written it in what is not called Certhas Daeron and Tengwar and Angerthas and Sindar and Quenya and Adûnaic and Westron, all because he is so old. He is not beautiful, but he is very wise; and I should like to paint him with paint-box colours but I am not allowed. The tunic-ish thing about his front is his Aesthetic Cuirass.]

 

 

On through the Shadowy Mountains went Goldilocks, and the King’s Daughter, and the Baby, and the Man who came from the Sea, and the friends and dear families, till at last they came to the pass that was called the Eagles’ Cleft. And there in the pass was a Balrog! He was the middling brother of that great Balrog that had once scattered the army of the King of Gondolin and he had a middle-sized whip that went hiss-crack! when he cracked it.

Now this Balrog was neither too big to be fought nor so small that he could be frightened away; in fact, he was just the right size. So Goldilocks stepped forwards and said, “O Balrog, let us pass!”

“Who’s that trying to cross my Mountain?” demanded the Balrog and cracked his middle-sized whip, hiss-crack! Just like that!

“Lord Goldilocks!” said Goldilocks in his most heroic voice. “Let us pass!”

“Oh no, you don’t!” said the Balrog. “I’m going to feed you to the Dragons for dinner!”

So up came Goldilocks – the most noble Lord Goldilocks, always laughing, merriest of the Gondolindrim – and there in the Shadowy Mountains he fought the Balrog. And they struggled and they grappled, and they tugged and they mugged, and they danced and they pranced, and they did some really truly twirly-whirly fighting on the mountaintop – so! Till at last Goldilocks caught the Balrog by one fiery foot and hauled him right over the cliff. Up, up, up went the Balrog into the air... then down, down he fell into the abyss below.

Then the King’s Daughter and the Baby and the Man who came from the Sea and the friends and dear families all rejoiced at once, very noisily, for now they could escape from the enemies of the Elves. But when the middling Balrog fell down into the abyss, he cracked his middle-sized whip – hiss-crack! – and it got tangled all up in Goldilocks’s most ’sclusively yellow hair (now you know why you were not to forget the hair!), so down into the abyss went Goldilocks as well, and neither he nor the Balrog were ever seen again. And that was very sorrowful. But the King’s Daughter and the Baby and the Man and the friends and dear families came down from the Shadowy Mountains, guarded all the while by the golden-sleek Eagle, and they went away in the direction of the Vale of Sirion, Nan-tathren, and the mouths of the River Sirion beside the Sea.

So that’s all right, Best Beloved. Do you see?

 

 

Chapter End Notes

This draws on all of the Just So stories, but particularly 'The Butterfly that Stamped' (whence 'statelily') and 'The Leopard that Changed its Spots'. The not-to-be-forgotten hair should be familiar from 'How the Whale got its Throat'.  Oh, and don't forget Goldilocks and the Three Bears, or the Three Billy Goats Gruff...

Table of Contents | Leave a Comment