The Singer's Girl by Lady MSM

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Chapter 9

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Chapter 9

 

So I was stupid, I get it.

And it was probably also stupid to get up ridiculously early that morning to see Maglor and his brothers off, too.

However, I did just that, giving each brother a huge hug and telling them how much I’d miss them. I told Maedhros not to worry so much and told Celegorm to stop being so arrogant all the time. I advised Caranthir to actually say hello to people and told Curufin to avoid being exactly like his father. I told the twins that they were doing just fine and they shouldn’t change at all.

I really didn’t tell Maglor anything except goodbye. We were honestly too busy kissing and crying. Don’t give me that look, we were saying goodbye for possibly forever. You expect me not to get emotional?

Romenella had apparently gotten wind of the impending departure somehow, and apparently the news had arrived very quickly because she somehow managed to get down to Tirion immediately before the boys left (don’t ask me how she did it; that girl has powers that amaze me). When she did get down, she barely said two words to the rest of us before dragging Celegorm into the next room for a very loud and emotional conversation, the particulars of which escaped me but the gist of which we all got. It seemed that Romenella and Celegorm had figured out an arrangement similar to mine and Maglor’s.

“Sure and why is it that me sons can’t get engaged before they run off to Middle-Earth?” grumbled Nerdanel. I was amazed at how calm she was managing to stay.

“Mom, once again, please consider forgiving Dad and coming with us,” pleaded Maedhros. “We need you to balance him out.”

Nerdanel shook her head. “Maedhros, ye know it’s much too late for that. Yer father’s made his choices and that’s his business, but he’s not gettin’ me involved, not this time.”

There was a long silence, punctuated only by some occasional sniffling from Romenella. I myself was trying to hold in some tears—the only way I could hold it in was by not looking at Maglor at all. At long last we heard someone open the front door and Feanor entered, looking disheveled and very determined.

“It’s time to go,” he said. “I assume you’ve said your goodbyes.” He turned to his wife. “Nerdanel…”

“If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times, Feanor,” Nerdanel interrupted. “Yer a self-centered idiot, and now yer draggin’ our children into all yer crazy. If you ever decide to get yer head on straight again ye can come back. Until then, goodbye and get out.”

Feanor looked at her for a long moment. “Fine. Boys, come on.”

Maglor began to leave with his brothers, but at the door he turned and ran back to me. For maybe two seconds, I got my hopes up…

“Andril,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

He gave me one kiss on the cheek and just like that, my fiancé and his family were gone from my life.

 

            “Romenella, please calm down,” I entreated, patting her on the back.

            “I can’t,” Romenella sobbed. “I’ve been so stupid.”

Nerdanel snorted. “You’ve been stupid?”

“Yes!” cried Romenella. “I just thought of Celegorm as some goofy younger friend for years and years and then I finally figure out that I like him about ten minutes before he leaves.” She let out another sob. “If only I hadn’t spent all those years chasing after Maglor…”

“Wait,” I said. “What?”

“Sorry, I should have told you about that,” said Romenella with a sniff. “Back when I was younger I had it pretty bad for Maglor. I mean this started a really long time ago, back when I was around sixteen. I was pretty ridiculous about it, to be honest…trying to bump into him around the house and all that.” She gave me a concerned look, as if she was worried I might slap her or something. “If it’s any comfort, he never liked me back. It just took me a long time to get over him.”

I sighed. “I expect it’ll take me a long time to do that, too.”

“You want to get over him?” asked Romenella, surprised. “Why? He’s your fiancé now! You want to just forget about him?”

“I don’t want to forget about him as such,” I replied. “I just don’t want to spend centuries waiting for him to come back and neglecting my own life because of him. I can guarantee that in a hundred years I’ll just be a distant memory to him and he’ll have fifty other girls head over heels in love with him. And that’s really not something that I want to think about. So I’ll still remember him and I’ll still have feelings for him but I will get over him. And you’d be wise to do the same with Celegorm.”

That may have been the wrong thing to say, because it made Romenella just start crying even more. I looked over at Nerdanel to enlist her help, and there were tears in her eyes too.

“Have ye girls ever heard how Feanor and I met?” she said sadly. We shook our heads, and she went on. “I grew up in a small town called Fana’s Crossing in the Northeast, and me da was a well-respected craftsman named Mahtan. One night he came home from the pub with some skinny Tirion rich boy who said his name was Ernil and who’d come to study with Da. So we took him in, and I hated him right off because he acted all spoiled and entitled and thought he was better than us. Sure and I was mad at everyone back then because I wanted to move to Tirion and be an artist but me parents didn’t have the money to send me. I nearly got engaged to this boy Bril—who was nice, but annoying as hell—just out of desperation.

“But eventually Ernil started to grow on me and after awhile we realized we were quite fond of each other. Sure, I liked him so much that when I found out that he was actually a runaway prince and he’d been lying about his name and everything, I didn’t even mind very much.

“I thought then, when I found out he’d been lyin’ to me, that that was the stupidest thing he would ever do. I thought he’d get all the crazy out of his system when he was young. I should’ve known that people like Feanor don’t change, not even for the people they love.” She ran her fingers roughly through her hair. “So if ye’ve got to call someone here stupid, say it to me. Sure and if it weren’t for me none of us would be here.”

Romenella shook her head. “We’re not going to blame you for anything, Lady Nerdanel.” She looked around at us sadly. “The reason we’re all here is because we all fell in love with the wrong guy, that’s all.”

 

During the next two days, I did two important things.

First, I told Romenella and Nerdanel that I considered them friends now and that with their permission, I would visit them every so often. Nerdanel invited me to come and live with her, since under better circumstances I would be her daughter-in-law and probably living there anyway, but of course I knew that wouldn’t work out.

And when I got back to Elk Woods, I went up to Rille and told her that she was my apprentice now.

I honestly wasn’t prepared for her reaction.

“Really?” she said, all teary-eyed. “You’re serious? Oh, Andril, this is such an honor I can’t believe it! Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I have to say, you seem more excited about this than I expected.”

“Well, you’re one of the most educated people in this town. And you’ve never taken on an apprentice before. Why did you decide to know, by the way?”

“Er…” I said. “I have no idea.”

Rille shrugged. “I guess it doesn’t matter either way. Mom and Dad will be so proud of me!” She gave me an exuberant hug. “This is the best day of my life!”

I smiled as I watched her run to tell her parents the news. It was good to know that I’d done something right, even if I had no idea why.

Vanafinde came to my house that evening. She seemed awkward, as if she didn’t know what to say.

“Thank you for making Rille your apprentice,” she began haltingly. “It means a lot to her.”

“Of course,” I said. “Rille has a lot of potential, and Varda knows I could use some more help at this job.”

“Andril,” said Vanafinde. “I’ve known you for hundreds of years and you’ve never even mentioned wanting to take on an apprentice before. Does this have anything to do with…”

“You’re allowed to say his name, Vanafinde.”

“Fine. Does this have anything to do with Maglor?”

“Since when would me taking on your daughter as an apprentice get my fiancé to come back?”

“You do not have to get sharp with me, Andril,” Vanafinde snapped. “You can do that I’m-so-damn-strong thing all you like but you’ll never fool me. You miss him. You’re down. Can’t we just have an actual talk about this?”

“What would you know about being abandoned?” I cried. “You’ve got your perfect husband who forgives you even when you get drunk and flirt with other men, and your three great kids, and you’ve never had anyone walk out on you in your life. I’ve already discussed this with Nerdanel and Romenella, who are going through the exact same thing as me, by the way. Please, Vanafinde, don’t make me talk about this anymore. You won’t be able to give me any help and it’ll just make me feel worse. Can’t we just act like none of this ever happened?”

Vanafinde shrugged. “If that’s what you think will really help you, sure. But don’t let yourself get too close to the edge, Andril. I know perfectly well that in a town this size, you don’t take on an apprentice unless you plan on going somewhere.”