The Joining of Two Families by chrissystriped

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Chapter One

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Death was peaceful. Her mother had told her of the houseless spirits that travelled with their living families and she ’d have wished to guard her children in that way, be a comfort to her husband who’d surely grieve for her. But when she’d died, she’d felt a Call. Powerful and yet soft, stern but also sweet, promising healing and rest. And there were more things in death her mother had never talked about — had likely not known about. She’d felt something, a presence, an... Eye, who’s gaze was turned elsewhere right now, but who’d find here if it looked. And she didn’t want it to find her! She knew clearly then that her only choice was to follow the Call or be caught by the Eye. She felt like she’d moved a long distance and no distance at all at the same time, when she finally came into the Presence of the one Calling.

 

The Vala had touched here deepest core. A majestic Presence, awful in his power but welcoming, too. Stern but not cruel, painfully just but also gentle.

‘You are save now, child’, she felt him telling her. 'You’ve lived a harsh life but you did your best to raise your children with love and much good shall come of that. Rest now and be healed from the pain of life.’

She’d wept then, relieved to have escaped the Iron Prison.

 

Time went by imperceptibly. She found she could dream. Long dreams of trees under starlight or wide meadows bathed in golden light she did not recognise. Sometimes she met Others in those dreams and she knew instinctively they were dead, too. Now and then she felt the touch of a Power, never painful, like she ’d learned to expect from the Maiar of the King, but gentle, with sympathy. She didn’t know how long she had been here, when she started to wish for more than dreams. A body, to touch and feel the real world again.

 

~*~*~

 

Shai looked down on her hands, slowly moving each finger. Hands, and eyes to see them. She could have sworn that there had been nothing around her just a moment ago, but when she looked around now, she found herself in a room with a fireplace. She was sitting in a comfortable armchair and in the other, looking at her... the Vala.

“Where am I?”, she asked.

“In Mandos, for the moment.”

For the moment? She had thought it would be for forever.

“It is only for forever if you want it to be. The fact that you sit here now, shows me that that’s not the case.”

“I don’t understand...”

“Not only we Ainur have sub-creative power. A fea who loses their hroa and comes to me, finding rest and getting things straightened out with themselves and the world, can make their own body. It is not just me who decides how long a fea stays in Mandos.”

“Does that mean I can leave?”

Namo nodded. “Aman is just around the corner. One of my Maiar will take you any place you like. Come.”

He reached out and Shai took his hand, her skin looked even more dark in contrast to his.

“Why do I still look like this?”, she asked.

“Does it pain you?”, the Vala asked and Shai was surprised to find it did not.

When she’d been alive, she had sometimes wondered, who she would have been, if her mother hadn’t been captured, if she’d been born an elf. She had imagined herself with silver hair and blue or green eyes, but when she thought of it now... that wouldn’t be her.

“No”, she answered and the Vala smiled.

“I didn’t think so. Your fea shaped this body, it is who you are.”

“But... won’t I stand out in Aman?”

She wondered what the elves would say to an orc in their midst. She was amazed to hear the stern Master of Death chuckle.

“You’ll be surprised, Shai. Come, take a look at my wife’s tapestries before you leave, they’ll make some things clearer.”

She found herself in a long hallway, chandeliers hanging from the ceiling and lighting the tapestries on the walls, the Vala was gone.

“The Weaver’s Webs. They’ll show you everything you want to see.”

Shai turned around, moving instinctively into a fighting stance. She looked at a fiery-haired man. She knew him.

“You are...”

Had all this been just an illusion? Was there no escape in death after all?

“I am Sinthoras, servant of Namo. But yes, I was someone else before.”

Shai noticed that the tapestries, as if in answer to her thoughts, showed scenes from his past. Sinthoras grimaced, a pained look in his eyes.

“Surely there are things you are more interested in than my past.”

“My children, my husband”, Shai whispered.

Sinthoras bowed to her when the tapestries changed again.

“Take all the time you need, there’s no rush. Call me, when you are ready – or if you need help – and I’ll take you to any place in Aman you wish.”

Shai nodded, feeling a little dizzy, then she turned to the walls. Her husband was dead, a tear ran down Shai’s face. But she knew he’d been in pain all his life and that he’d been so unhappy with what he’d become. She hoped he’d found peace in death, too. She’d never encountered him here.

She smiled as she watched Sharû helping Estel to flee. Brave Sharû, with a good heart. Estel had found a second family, elves like him. He had a wife – and a child with eyes like an orc. She walked on, shedding tears for those of her children who had died. She stopped in front of a picture of Sharû lying in an elf’s arms. He seemed to have found love, too. There was Zak on a ship, drawing a net from the water. And Ithrû hunting with his twin and elves who probably belonged to Estel’s family.

She wondered how they had come here and the tapestries showed her an army of orcs, led by Sharû and a Maia, leading elves – slaves – from Angband. There was the elf she had seen holding Sharû, standing with her son before the Valar. And an island with a town full of orcs.

She touched the soft fabric. The tapestries were fabulous, but it was not enough. She wanted to talk to her sons, hear their story from them. Meet Estel’s and Sharû’s spouses. She was a grandmother!

“I’m ready”, she said to the empty hallway and the Maia appeared out of thin air.

She was taken by the hand again and found herself in a dressing room. Shai realised only now that she had been naked the whole time. To her surprise it didn’t bother her and the Maia didn’t look at her that way – as if he didn’t even seem to notice her nakedness.

“Take whatever you like.”

Shai decided on a red linen dress and a leather bodice that was laced over it. The leather felt like armour, it made her feel save.

“Where to?”, Sinthoras asked with a bow.

Shai thought it so strange that he, who had been their master, was bowing to her now.

“I want to see my sons.”

Sinthoras smiled and nodded. Shai didn’t want to play favourites, she loved them all. But she was a little afraid to step into the midst of Estel’s large elvish family and if she could go by the webs, Sharû was leading the town of orcs on the island.

“Sharû, take me to him”, she said before adding shyly: “I have a question.”

“Ask away.”

“Namo surely knows who you were. He must have known that I’d recognise you. Why did he send you?”

Sinthoras shrugged with a smile. “His notion of atonement? Who knows. I don’t question his decisions.”

Shai nodded. If Namo trusted him, she would, too. She didn’t believe the Judge could be wrong. Sinthoras offered her his hand and Shai took it with racing heart. She’d see Sharû in a moment and probably a lot of orcs she didn’t know...

Shai blinked surprised. They stood on a busy street in front of a big house, a palace, flanked by equally grand buildings. Sinthoras bowed again to her.

“I’ll leave you now. You’ll find your son in this house. Don’t be afraid.”

Shai nodded shakily, that wasn’t what she’d expected. Was she going to meet that elf she had seen in an embrace with Sharû? And who was he that he lived in such a place? She waited until the Maia was gone, then she walked up the steps to the entrance and knocked. It took all her courage to not run away, when the door opened, but the elf who looked at her didn’t seem surprised to see an orc.

“What can I do for you?”, he asked with a welcoming smile.

“I was told Sharû is here. I want to see him.” Her voice was trembling.

The elf asked her in with a bow and led her into a big, bright room. “Please wait here. Who shall I announce?”

“My name is Shai,” she answered and wondered if she should tell the elf that she was Sharû’s mother. But he just bowed again and left her.

Shai barely dared to sit, everything looked so expensive. But she had no time to worry about where she had stranded. She heard rumbling on the steps and Sharû rushed into the room and swept her into a tight embrace.

“Mother!”

He only wore trousers and smelled intensely of man. She could imagine what he had done a moment ago. With the unknown elf?

“Mother”, he said again. His shoulders shook and Shai realised that he was crying. She hadn’t seen him cry since he’d been too small to walk.

“My boy”, she whispered and felt tears on her cheeks, too. “My son.”

“How?”, Sharû croaked. “How can you be here?”

Shai looked into her son’s eyes. Eyes as yellow as hers.

“I went to Mandos when I died and my time to be alive again has come. And so I’m here.”

Sharû caressed her cheeks, wonder in his face. “I can’t believe that you are back, mother. My beloved mother.”

“I can’t believe it either. That I’m here and that you are, too.” She kissed his cheeks. “Where is here? Whose house is this?”

Sharû blushed. “That would be Ecthelion, or rather his parents.” He coughed. “He is... I mean he and I are... a couple.”

Shai smiled. “You fell in love with an elf?”

“I didn’t say anything about love”, Sharû mumbled. “But yes.”

Shai patted his cheek. She knew how hard it was for him to admit it. She knew it so well, because she knew how he’d been raised – not by her, by the people who had given him his military training. Feelings were weakness and weakness meant death. She stepped back.

“Maybe you should dress properly before you introduce him to me.”

“Yes, yes of course.” Sharû grinned at her. “I was just so happy when I heard that you are here that I couldn’t wait a minute longer. Get comfortable, help yourself to a drink. I’ll be back in a moment, with him.” Shai was a little worried but Sharû’s smile gentled and he said: “Don’t be afraid, he’s really nice and don’t forget that he fell in love with me. There’s no reason why he shouldn’t like you.”

 

Ecthelion had taken his time washing and dressing after Sharû had rushed from the room, he wanted to give him and his mother some time alone. She was back... He hadn’t thought it possible for... Ecthelion shook his head. Who was he deluding? Sharû and most of his people were like elves and he’d heard enough about Sharû’s mother to know that she’d been the same. Her mother had been an elf, she was like Garam. Just when he decided that he could go down now, Sharû came back to the sleeping room.

“It’s really her”, he said with trembling lips. Ecthelion embraced him and Sharû clung to him, sobbing softly. “I’m so happy, Thel! I thought, I’d never see her again. When I heard that elves are reborn here, I dared hope a little, but I never really believed it. And now she sits in your salon and...”

“Do you want her to meet me right now? I can wait if you think it’s better. It must be overwhelming for her, too.”

Sharû kissed him gently. “I want her to meet you. Now, not later.”

“Then let’s go to the living room, it’s more comfortable then the salon. I don’t want her to feel intimidated.”

Sharû huffed. “I think she already is. You tend to severely underestimate what this ‘house’ does to people from a humbler background. She probably thinks you’re royalty or something.”

“Know what?" Ecthelion grinned. "I’ll fetch her. She can take a good look at me and you get time to find your shirt.”

Sharû kissed his cheeks. “That’s a wonderful idea. I’ll wait in the living room.”

Ecthelion slowly walked down the stairs and to the salon. Sharû’s mother stood up when he opened the door and looked nervously at him. She was taller than Sharû, more slender and fine-boned, but her skin had the same dark, greenish hue as Sharu’s and she had the same golden cat-eyes.

“You are Shai?”

Ecthelion bowed to her. She was his lover’s mother, she deserved his respect. Her eyes had settled on his scar for a moment, but she didn’t stare like most elves. Surely she had seen much worse in Angband. It always were the people who’d never left Aman, who looked most horrified.

“Yes, I am.” Her voice was deep and mellow. She would make a wonderful singer, Ecthelion thought. And hadn’t Sharû told him that she had sung elvish songs to him and his siblings?

“Please follow me, Sharû waits in another room for us.”

She looked surprised at him. “He wanted to fetch the... master of the house?”

Ecthelion chuckled. “That would be my father. I’m sorry, I should have introduced myself. My name is Ecthelion and Sharû is my husband. I thought the living room would be more comfortable.”

Shai stared at him wide eyed. “I’m sorry, I thought...”

“I’m very pleased to meet you”, Ecthelion said with a smile, knowing that she’d mistaken him for a servant. “I thought, if you have too much time wondering about who it is that owns this big house, you’ll become afraid of me. I know that wealth can be a wall. My family has money, but that doesn’t mean that I think I’m better than others. That’s why I come for you myself and don’t send a servant.”

Shai smiled shyly.

“Let’s not make Sharû wait any longer.” Ecthelion offered her his arm. “He’s not very patient”, he said with a conspiratorial wink.

Shai laughed. She looked around when he led her through the house. The gold-framed paintings on walls covered in silk. The expensive furniture and little works of art.

“My family is nobility”, he said softly, knowing that she must wonder. “The House of the Silver Fountain. My father is the Lord, but I’m just the guy who fell in love with your son.” He didn’t want Shai to feel small.

Sharû had already gotten comfortable on the leather couch, Ecthelion offered Shai an armchair and sat down beside Sharû.

“Mother, I want to introduce my husband to you.” Sharû laid his arm around Ecthelion’s shoulder. “Although I think he already did that himself.”

Shai nodded. “He did. Sharû, did you really help the slaves escape?”

“I didn’t do it alone, but yes.”

She beamed at him and Ecthelion smiled to himself. “My brave boy. I always knew that you wouldn’t forget where we come from.”

“I never forgot.” Sharû squeezed Ecthelion’s hand and kissed it. “And I have the incredible luck that Thel sees it, too.”

Ecthelion squeezed back, he felt Sharû tremble. “Do you have a place to stay? I can let a guest room be made ready.”

“That would be very kind of you... Ecthelion. I hope it isn’t too bold of me to address you by your name?”

“You are my husband’s mother and it is your right to call me by my name.” Ecthelion saw that Shai’s eyes had come to rest on their wedding rings. “We found each other”, Ecthelion said, “and that’s a miracle. I’m sorry that you couldn’t be here for the wedding.”

Shai stood up and kissed first Sharû’s then Ecthelion’s forehead.

“I'm glad you found each other”, she said. "I can see your love."

“I’ll see to the guest room”, Ecthelion said, feeling his cheeks heat.

 

Sharû followed his lover with his eyes, a gentle smile on his lips.

“He is very likeable”, his mother said and he turned his gaze to her. “I can understand that you are fond of him.”

“Likeable and so very passionate when it comes to protecting his people. You should see him if someone insults the Angband-Elves in his hearing. He is... a hero to many.”

“Angband-Elves?”

“That’s what the former slaves call themselves. They didn’t want to be called slaves forever.”

“Very understandable. So he was a slave?”, his mother asked. Sharû couldn’t tell if she was surprised about that.

“Yes. And it’s to a large part thanks to him that my men and I have a place here. You... know about it?”

“I saw a lot on the tapestries, but it was... dreamlike.”

Sharû cocked his head. “The tapestries are real? I always thought it to be a kind of  metaphor. Anyway, Ecthelion helped us a lot. His people, too, but he orchestrated it.”

“Not wholly unselfishly, yes?” Shai batted her lids and Sharû smiled.

“I don’t think that it was for the reason you think. It took us a while.”

“But that doesn’t mean that he didn’t want you even then.” Shai smiled at him. “Are you happy, Sharû? This”, she made a motion with her hand that encompassed the furnishing and the big house, “is a long way from Angband.”

“Yes, I know. We had to relearn a lot of things. None of us knew anything about farming, it was women’s work. We knew nothing about boats or catching fish despite living on an island. The elves helped us. First only the Angband-Elves but later the bolder of the Solosimpi, too. It was strange. We didn’t know how it is to live in peace, not to be despised, but we found our place. This here goes only a step further. And... it makes things easier that it is normal for Thel to live like this. He isn’t arrogant”, Sharû smiled, “but he doesn’t think it strange to have all this beautiful things, to be served by others.

“I had no idea at first how to treat the servants. They aren’t slaves and I’m just ‘his lordship’s’ lover. I thought they wouldn’t take kindly to being ordered around by an orc. But you get used to it. Them and me. And you maybe, too. But I’m still glad that I don’t live here permanently. I’m here often and for a long time, but I have a house on the Island and I think Ecthelion is glad, too, that he can escape from here sometimes.”

“Doesn’t it bother him if you call him Thel? Elves are a little sensitive when it comes to names.”

Sharû shook his head. “Some of his people still call him Aeg. That’s what he called himself when he was a slave because he didn’t want anyone to know who he is. He’s pretty famous among the Noldor. And I’m sure he’d have told me if he didn’t like it. Elven names are much too long. Why do you need a name that’s longer than two syllables.”

 

Shai chuckled. “But you know that those names have very specific meanings, yes?” “Of course he does.” Ecthelion had come back and sat down beside Sharû again. "He knows what our names mean, but Sharû sometimes likes to play the ignorant orc. Isn’t it so, love?”

Ecthelion kissed his temple. There was no sting to his words and Sharû knew he meant no harm. And Ecthelion knew as well that Sharû meant no harm, if he acted like he had no idea of elven culture. They’d already shocked some people together.

“I’m just a simple soldier”, Sharû said with a heavy accent. Noldorin Quenya was no longer like a foreign tongue to him, it was Ecthelion’s mother tongue after all, but he still could sound like an orc, if he wanted to. “Elves.” He shrugged. “I know nothing about that.”

He chuckled when Ecthelion pinched his arm. There were tears in his mother’s eyes and Ecthelion conjured up a handkerchief.

“Did I say something wrong?”, he asked.

“No.” She sniffed. “Not at all. It’s just seeing you so happy together. I birthed my children into a world full of war and pain. I tried to teach them love, knowing they would be encouraged to hate. To see that Sharû found someone he can be happy with, means everything to me.” She dabbed her eyes. “I saw that Zak and Ithrû are still alive. And Estel.” She reached for Sharû’s hand. “That was so brave of you, my boy.”

“He is my brother. I could not fail him. Do you want to see him? We could fetch Zak and Ithrû from the Island and travel to Laiquanan where Estel lives. What do you think, Thel?” Sharû turned to his lover. “Do you have time?”

“I do. But I don’t want to be in the way of a family reunion, if you want to be alone. Shai is your mother and I’m sure you have much to tell each other.”

“But you are part of the family”, Shai said. “At least that’s my opinion.”

Ecthelion beamed at her. “Thank you, Shai. I’ll gladly accompany you.”

 

Ecthelion walked along the shore. He had seen the emotions on Zak’s face when he saw his mother and had known that he couldn’t disturb their reunion. Ecthelion knew how much orcs hated to show emotions that might be interpreted as weakness by others.

“Good afternoon, Ecthelion”, Tarash called at him, he seemed to collect driftwood. Ecthelion greeted back. “Here without the Colonel?” The orc winked at him and Ecthelion grinned back.

“He has other things in mind than me. His mother was reborn and I wanted to give him and his brothers a little privacy with her.”

Tarash stared at him with a look of utter astonishment. “His mother is here? But... that can’t be. She was an orc, wasn’t she? We always thought we aren’t reborn.”

“Looks like it is possible. Shai is very much alive.”

“And... how... I mean... what does she look like?”

Ecthelion knew what Tarash meant. “Like in her first live.” It occurred to him that that might be strange. He was so used to the orcs that he sometimes forgot that they were unnatural in a way. Their bodies were the result of torture and evil sorcery. Weren’t the Reborn supposed to be healed of all hurts? But Shai didn’t seem hurt to him. “Who knows what Namo is thinking and why he chooses to do things the way he does.”

“Well, if you don’t know, elf.” Tarash shrugged and waved at someone behind Ecthelion. “The Colonel is looking for you.”

Ecthelion turned around and saw Sharû approach them. He said goodbye to Tarash and walked toward him.

“You vanished so suddenly”, Sharû said and pulled him close to give him a kiss.

“I didn’t want to disturb the family reunion”, Ecthelion answered. “I’m happy that your mother seems to have already accepted me into her family, but I didn’t want your brothers to think they couldn’t show their feelings because an elf was in the room.”

“That was very generous of you.” Sharû kissed him again. “But now come. We’ll have dinner together.”

Ecthelion walked back to the house arm in arm with Sharû and enjoyed his happiness.