The Joining of Two Families by chrissystriped

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Chapter Five

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The pain in his soul had vanished over time.

It had been a relief to leave his body and no longer feel how the changes made to it tore at him. It hadn’t only been the physical pain, his fea and his body had no longer fit together properly.

He’d followed the Call because he thought that Arasiel had left for the West and although he hadn’t believed he’d ever see her again, it had soothed him to know himself close to her.

Now he felt the presence of the Master of these Halls. He had been afraid of him at first, dreading the punishment that must surely come. He’d shrunk back whenever he felt him near, although he had been sure you couldn’t hide from him. He’d learned that neither Namo nor his Maiar were a danger, they’d shown him nothing but mercy.

‘Your wife is alive again’, Namo said.

That made him happy. She was such a wonderful woman and she deserved it. He was too torn. He couldn’t be with Arasiel, but he couldn’t be with Shai, either, giving one of them up was impossible.

‘She and your other wife asked me to tell you, that if you want to return to life, they’ll both be there for you. You don’t have to choose between them.’

If he’d had eyes (and Namo a body) he’d have stared at the Vala.

‘What?’

He’d known he’d have to stay here forever, if he gave Shai the possibility to be alive again – and he hadn’t minded. He didn’t want to make this decision.

‘Your wives are very determined’, Namo said and Faranwe thought that he felt his amusement. ‘You don’t have to decide immediately, if you want to be reborn. But you should know that it is possible. They want you back, both of them, together.’

‘Thank you.’

Faranwe didn’t know what to think. Could that really be true? Had his wives found each other? And did they really get along so well that they worked together to get him back. A warm, happy fire ignited in his fea. Faranwe would have smiled, if he’d had a mouth. Maybe he didn’t have to be torn. Maybe he could be whole, with them.

 

~*~*~

 

Faranwe looked down on his hands, pale and flawless. Nothing was crooked from badly healed fractures, no scars on greenish, mottled skin. He reached for a strand of his hair and held it in front of his eyes, silverblond and soft. He laughed with happiness and let the tears run freely down his cheeks. It was like the Vala had promised. His fea remembered a time before he had been turned and his new body was whole and free of pain.

He stretched and enjoyed the feeling of his spine straightening without discomfort. He took a deep breath and smelled forest – moss and resin, decomposing leaves and fungi. He knew that his family waited for him — one family because Arasiel and Shai had found each other — and he wanted to find them, but he wanted to get used to his body again before meeting them, so he’d asked to be brought to this forest.

The terrain was mountainous and the Maia who’d brought him, had told him that Alqualonde lay a few days’ travel to the east. He’d find it, even though the stars in the sky were strange to him. He’d asked to be allowed to leave Mandos at night. He’d never seen the sun, all he’d ever known was starlight.

Faranwe shouldered his spear and slung the waterskin and bundle with provisions over the other. He laid a hand on the trunk beside him and listened to the slow song of the tree. She was old, so old that she remembered a time when the Trees of Light had still stood, her roots reached deep into the earth, were interwoven with the trees around her – all the forest was linked that way.

Faranwe felt tears well up in his eyes again, his heart flowed over with happiness to be able to hear the forest again. He’d lost that in his changed life, the forest had hated him for the fire and destruction that his kind brought. He leaned against the tree and sang her a song he’d learned from the trees around Cuiviénen. The tree’s branches creaked gently as they swayed.

It was already dawning when Faranwe ended, turned into the direction of the light -- where the trees grew less, the earth became sandy and the air salty. At first it was hard to not make a sound –- and he grimaced at every twig breaking under his feet, every leaf that rustled as he brushed it. His hroa and fea weren’t completely one, yet, but still he felt more at ease than he’d ever felt in his old, broken body.

He reached out with his senses, listened to the sounds of the birds in the boughs above him, the gurgle of the stream somewhere to his right. Faranwe felt his heartbeat slow down as he absorbed the calm of the forest. Mandos had been calm, too, but this here was a calm that was alive and although it wasn’t the forest of his first life, where he’d known every tree, he felt at home.

He knew that Arasiel and Shai lived at the sea and he wouldn’t ask them to move, but he would never again give the forest up, now that he had it back.

Faranwe’s new body became tired sooner than he’d thought –- he wasn’t as untiring as in his first live, yet –- and he made himself comfortable between the roots of a tree, back leaned against the trunk. He wasn’t in a hurry. He had thought never to be reborn, he intended to enjoy it as much as he could.

 

It was dawn many days later when he reached Alqualonde. He’d quickly gotten into the habit of travelling at night and sleeping at day, because his eyes reacted tender to the sun. His subconscious had expected guards, someone who’d ask him what he wanted here, but no one stopped him as he walked through the streets.

At first he was surprised that there were already so many people on the streets, but when he came closer to the market place, he saw that the fishermen were already selling their catch of the day. It felt strange to be among elves. Yes, he knew that he was an elf again, too, but part of him still expected them to look at him with hatred.

Although the elves her seemed to get along well with orcs, if he could believe the tapestries. He didn’t know exactly where Arasiel and Shai lived and after watching a while he dared to ask one of the fishermen.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for Arasiel’s shop. Can you tell me, where I need to go?”

The elf described the way to him and Faranwe turned in the direction he’d indicated. His heart started to beat quicker. He looked forward to see his loved ones, but he also wondered how they’d react. Especially Shai and his second family. They’d never known him as Faranwe. Two wives, two families. Together. Could that really work?

She stood in front of the house and was watering the flowers on the windowsill, her brown hair glowed in the sun.

“Arasiel”, Faranwe said, it came out as a croak, his throat was tight.

She turned around, a friendly smile on her face -– and paled when she recognised him.

“Faranwe!”

He walked across the street but didn’t dare to touch her.

“Yes, it’s me”, he whispered. “Will you take me back?”

She lifted her hand and caressed his cheeks, her eyes shining with tears. “I’m so happy! I thought... did Namo tell you?”

“That Shai is alive? That you told him to tell me I don’t have to decide between you?” Faranwe nodded. “Yes, he did, and he said I can be reborn, if I want. And I... I can barely believe it. How? I love you, Arasiel.”

Arasiel kissed him tenderly. “I love you too, Faranwe. Come, let’s go inside. Shai is in the workshop.”

Faranwe followed her inside and Arasiel turned the sign to Closed before locking the door.

“Shai”, she called. “Don’t be startled, we have a... long expected guest.”

He heard steps and then Shai looked through a door that led deeper into the building.

“A guest? Who...” She screamed.

Faranwe hadn’t been sure, if she’d recognise him, now that he looked like himself again, but when she said with a tremble in her voice: “Valar, you were right, Arasiel. Sharû really looks a lot like him”, he remembered how gleeful he’d been in secret that his oldest son, although an orc, had inherited his features.

“Shai.”

He let his tears flow. She’d died in his arms, their dead child between them, and his heart had broken. He’d known there wouldn’t be a reunion, not even in death –- he hadn’t believed then that Namo would have mercy on the orcs. He had once believed there was no one watching over them –- only the cruel king who’d made them and of whom they could expect nothing but pain –- but seeing now what had become of his surviving children and that Arasiel and Shai had changed the mind of a god, he knew that wasn’t true.

Faranwe stepped toward her and embraced her slowly, Shai clung to him, starting to sob. He reached out blindly for Arasiel and she came to them.

“I have you back. I have both of you back!” He was home. He felt whole. “Did you really convince the Valar to change their verdict?”, he asked with a laugh in his voice.

“We had help", Arasiel sniffed. “And it was Shai who had the idea. I wouldn’t have dared on my own. I’m so happy that Namo decided to believe us.” She looked a little worried when she continued. “I hope you... don’t mind that we decided that marriage also works between more than two people.”

Faranwe kissed first her then Shai. “I was torn for so long. I knew I’d never be able to decide between you, I love both of you so much. It never crossed my mind that this could be a solution. You make me so happy.” He wondered what his children were thinking of this arrangement, but that was a question for another time. “Please, tell me about you, your lives here. I missed so much!”

“Let’s go upstairs”, Arasiel said. “We’ll get comfortable and talk.”

Faranwe followed his wives up the stairs, feeling so happy he thought his heart might burst.