The Joining of Two Families by chrissystriped

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Chapter Two

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“Are you sure you are ready?”, her son asked.

Surely he saw how nervous all the elves on the streets made her. Yes, her mother had been one, but all elves Shai had seen in her former live had been slaves and she knew that her kind was hated by them. At least that had been the case once. Most of the elves they passed by greeted Sharû with a smile and didn’t seem bothered by two orcs walking through their town.

“I want to meet her”, she answered firmly.

The elf who’d been Gârsh’s wife before Gârsh had been Gârsh had asked to talk to her. Shai had been surprised to find out that Sharû seemed to know her well.

“How do you know her?”, she asked now.

“Her daughter heard about Estel using father’s old name as a patronym and sought him out. I was visiting him at the time. We had to... destroy her hopes but she stayed in contact with us and then Arasiel wanted to see me.” Sharû made a choked sound. “She said, I look like father.”

“I don’t know what he looked like before his transformation”, Shai said, feeling a lump form in her throat.

She knew that Gârsh had loved her but she also knew that he would have wanted to stay with his first family if he’d had a choice.

They’d reached the house of the elf and Arasiel opened with a smile. She shook Sharû’s hand and turned to Shai. “I’m pleased to meet you, Shai. Sharû told me about you.”

Shai smiled insecurely. Shouldn’t this woman hate her? In her eyes she must have stolen her husband. They followed Arasiel inside and sat down around a table.

“Tea?” Arasiel poured them cups when they nodded. “My children aren’t around today but I hope this won’t be the last time we meet. How long have you been back?”

“Two months.”

She’d been shaken when she’d found out that she’d been dead for more than seven thousand years. So many things had happened since then – so much had changed for the better.

“It must all be so unfamiliar to you”, Arasiel said compassionately.

“Yes, it is... different. I had always hoped that Estel would someday have the opportunity to live in freedom but I never dreamed of this being possible for orcs.” She knew that she was the first orc who had been reborn, no one had believed that possible. “Arasiel”, she said carefully and sipped the hot tea before continuing. “I... don’t want to beat about the bush. We both loved the same man. He was Faranwe for you. When I met him, he’d already gone through hell and his name was Gârsh – but he remembered. He shouldn’t have and if someone had found out...” Shai shook herself. “But he told me that he had a family before he was captured.”

“What... what did he tell you?", Arasiel whispered.

“Not much, but some. It hurt him to think of you, but sometimes he needed to talk about his old life. It tore at him. ‘Faranwe is dead’, he said. ‘And Gârsh can’t go back to them.’ But I knew he longed for it to be possible. He and I... that we were put together was rare luck.”

Shai blinked quickly, a tear fell into her cup. She had been so afraid when she’d been told that a new mate had been chosen for her and then Gârsh had been this gentle person.

“He stayed an elf in his heart, although he didn’t look like it anymore.”

“Were you happy together?” Arasiel’s eyes shone, she was as close to tears as Shai.

“The circumstances weren’t ideal but yes, we loved each other and we were as happy as we could be. I’m sorry.”

Arasiel shook her head. “Don’t be. I wish I hadn’t lost him. I didn’t know for so long what had happened to him. If he’d left me because he didn’t want to go West. Or if he’d had an accident while hunting and died somewhere in the forest. Or if the Dark Hunter had taken him... But it eases my heart to know that he found a little light in the darkness.”

“You are not jealous?”, Shai asked baffled.

"No. It isn’t as if he’d chosen between us and chose you. You said he said: ‘Faranwe is dead.’ His live was torn apart, two lives, two loves. I had time to become accustomed to the thought that my husband had been made an orc. No, I’m not jealous and I hope we can be friends. Are you jealous of me?”

“I don’t know”, Shai whispered. “He would choose you, I’m sure of that. When he’s reborn, he’ll choose you and that breaks my heart.”

A deep pain crossed Arasiel’s face. “He won’t come back”, she croaked. “Never.”

“But... if I can be reborn, why not him?”

“You don’t know?” Arasiel sobbed. “But how should you? There’s a decision of the Valar. When King Finwe’s first wife Míriel died and didn’t want to return to live, Finwe wanted to marry again. The Valar ruled that this is only possible, if Míriel never is reborn, because no one living can have two spouses. You are alive and I am alive so Faranwe must stay dead.”

Shai stared at her, a cold weight settling in her belly. “But that... No, that can’t be true. This decision would have been made without my knowledge. Surely Namo would have heard my opinion!”

“Maybe Faranwe decided so long ago that he never wanted to live again that he thought it wasn’t necessary to burden you with it.”

Shai huffed, that was not a satisfying reason. The Vala should have told her!

“Why did the Valar decide that way?”, she asked. “I mean... I’d rather know him to be alive and with you than dead forever! Oh, you must hate me for it being that way!”

“I don’t hate you.” Arasiel shook her head. “I’m sad, but... they wouldn’t have forced him to agree to this. Maybe he is simply too hurt to want to live again.”

“But they should have asked me! I want to speak with Namo!”

Shai puffed herself up und Arasiel smiled wryly.

“I doubt it is that easy.”

“I could ask Mablung”, Sharû said slowly. He’d sat quietly beside them until now, letting them talk. “He might be able to contact Namo.”

Shai was surprised to hear that. “You know people who know the Valar?”

“Not only know, from what I’ve heard”, Arasiel said with a lewd wink.

Sharû grinned. “Yes, well... I told you about him, mother. He’s the elf who sang at the festival, who used some of our story.”

“The one who is married to...” Shai didn’t know what to call him. ‘Melkor’ was at least as impossible as ‘Morgoth’ and she didn’t want to call him her king.

“Exactly.”

“And you think he’d help us?”, Arasiel asked.

“When he hears what this is about? I’m sure he will.”

Arasiel laid her hand on Shai’s arm. “You say you are sure he would choose me, but what if... what if he didn’t need to choose?”

“How do you mean that?”

“I wouldn’t force him to choose. What if we could find a solution together? All three of us? You are right, we shouldn’t let the Valar keep him from us.”

Shai smiled at her, the tightness in her chest subsided.

“Are we sure that he followed the Call?”, she asked something that weighted on her soul. “You said, he didn’t want to go West and... I know that... He caught souls and changed them.” She could see in Arasiel’s face that she was voicing her own fears.

“Can you ask Mablung if he’d talk to us, Sharû?”, Shai asked her son and he nodded.

“As soon as possible.”

 

The elf who opened the door smiled at them and greeted Sharû with a hug. “Come in.” He shook Shai’s hand. “You must be Shai. Nice to meet you. I’m Mablung.” He greeted Arasiel equally warmly and led them up a staircase to a bright living room.

After offering them a seat and something to drink, he said: “Sharû told me you have a request? I’m curious.” He seemed to notice that Shai looked around nervously and added: “Artano is ordered to not leave his room and Melkor is in the kitchen and won’t disturb us. I can understand that you don’t want to meet them.”

“To be honest, we might need your husband”, Arasiel said with a nervous laugh.

“Oh? What is this about?”

“Shai and I love the same elf. Faranwe, my husband and father of my children, was taken by the Black Hunter and turned into an orc. And he became Shai’s partner.”

“Your father”, Mablung said to Sharû and her son nodded. Mablung took a deep breath and rubbed his hands over his face. “And how can I – can we – help you?”

“First, we need to know if Faranwe even is in Mandos”, Arasiel said, Shai was happy to let her talk. She knew Mablung was Sharû’s friend but she felt unsure talking to him. “He was taken before the Great Journey and I’m not sure if he would have followed Namo’s Call. As I doubt that we can simply knock on Mandos’s gates and ask for information, we might need Melkor’s help to get it.”

“He’ll ask for you. And if he’s not there, Melkor will find him.”

“He can do that?”, Shai asked surprised.

Mablung nodded. “He’s already travelling the world to find the fëar of orcs who didn’t dare to follow Namo’s Call.”

“What?” Sharû tensed. “You never told me that!”

“He didn’t want me to.” Mablung smiled sadly. “He knows you don’t like him and he didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. Your mother is the only orc who has been reborn until now.”

“I thought, he didn’t care about us”, Sharû mumbled, looking embarrassed. “He does, but he knows he can never make up what he did to you. Finding the lost fëar is in his eyes the least he can do. Anyway, I’m sure he’ll ask Namo about Faranwe. But that’s not all, is it?”

“No”, Arasiel said. “You surely know about the Statute of Finwe and Míriel. I believe, Shai’s rebirth means that Faranwe has to stay in Mandos.”

“And I won’t accept that”, Shai added. “We’ll find a solution between us. It can’t be right that someone is barred from life because they married twice – especially in a case as ours, where we had no choice. We want to convince Namo to give him back to us. We hoped that you or... or your husband could ask him to listen to us.”

Mablung’s eyes flashed and Shai shivered, but when he started to speak, she realised he wasn’t angry with them. “I’ll gladly help you with that. You are right. It shouldn’t be the Valar’s decision how we love.”

“And you really think your husband will be with us?”

Shai was relieved that Mablung was on their side and didn’t try to dissuade them — Ecthelion hadn’t been very confident about their chances of success — but she thought it strange, almost rude of them, to take the help of someone for granted who wasn’t even present. Should she ask Mablung to call him? Shai shivered.

“Do you want me to ask him?”

Shai nodded and expected Mablung to leave the room, but he just got an absentminded look in his eyes. After a moment he smiled and said: “Melkor agrees.”

“Please thank him in our name”, Shai said. “And thank you, too, Mablung.”

“It’s my pleasure. I hope you can convince Namo. If not, we'll try Manwe. They are often a bit slow to change their mind.”

Shai saw the determination in his eyes and wondered what made him feel so strongly for them. He smiled at her and said, as if he'd heard her thoughts: "I had to fight for my love, too."

Shai stopped in the hallway after they’d said their goodbyes.

“Is that the kitchen?”, she asked and knocked when Mablung nodded.

It seemed rude to her to not thank him personally. Her heart started to beat wildly when the door was opened. She’d never met the King in person, but she had heard about the aura of terror around him. The man who looked now so startled at her and then lowered his eyes, wringing his hands nervously, didn’t fit the image she’d had of him.

“I… I just wanted to thank you for helping us”, she stuttered.

“That’s the least I can do”, he said softly.

Sharû had told her that he didn’t like Melkor because he still was haughty, but right now she wondered, if her son hadn’t misunderstood something.

“Thank you”, she said again and left after saying goodbye to Mablung.

 

~*~*~

 

“The soul you ask after is here, but you shouldn’t meddle”, Namo said and eyed him sternly. Melkor had the strong urge to fall to his knees and ask for forgiveness.

“I have to”, he said and tried to hide the tremble in his voice. “It’s about someone – several someones – I did wrong. How can I say no, if they ask me for help? And they are only in this situation, because I caught their husband and turned him into an orc.”

Namo sighed. “That may be, but we made a decision when Finwe came to us.”

“But that was a different situation! Finwe wanted to marry another woman after his first one didn’t want to come back. This is about two women who want to have their husband back – they already consider themselves both married to him – and they don't intend to fight over him.”

“And how is that supposed to work?”

‘You’d be surprised’, Melkor thought. “That’s their business. I hope you don’t want to say that the way you treated Finwe worked?”

Namo’s eyes flashed. “Careful, Melkor. That was your fault, too.”

Melkor bowed his head. Yes, the seed had been there, but he’d made sure that Feanor’s grudge for his half-brothers got out of control.

“I beg you, talk to them. Listen to what they have to say.”

“Alright. I’ll talk to them, but I won’t change my mind.”

Melkor bowed. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it”, Namo growled und Melkor hurried to leave.

 

“If you want, I’ll leave you alone with Namo — he’s waiting in the living room — but if you let me, I’d like to help”, Mablung said as he led Shai and Arasiel upstairs.

They shared a look and Shai could see in Arasiel's face that she’d rather have him there, too.

“We’d like you to be there”, she said. “We know that you are on our side.”

Mablung smiled at her. “I am. I know how it is to fight for my love.”

Mablung opened the door to the living room. The man who’d sat on the couch stood up and Mablung introduced them before offering wine.

“Shai, I didn’t expect you to see you again so soon”, Namo said to her.

“You didn’t tell me that I’ll never see my husband again, if I leave”, she snapped. “That wasn’t right.”

“Shai”, Arasiel hissed, Namo’s eyes narrowed and Shai tensed, she knew she’d been disrespectful — but she didn’t look away.

“Maybe I should have told you, but I did talk to Faranwe. He feels torn between you two, he could never come back to life, knowing he’d have to decide. He doesn’t want to make that decision, so he decided to stay in my Halls, many many years ago. You were ready for a new life and it would have been wrong to withhold it from you.”

“But he doesn’t need to decide!”, Arasiel said. “My lord, I can understand that this is not usual.” She threw a look at Shai. “Nothing about this is usual and it is neither mine, nor Shai’s, nor Faranwe’s fault that we are in this situation. We want to have him back and we are going to find a way to be happy – all three of us. We beg you to give him back to us.”

“Namo”, Mablung said softly. “You tried to do the right thing when Míriel didn’t want to return to life, but not for every situation, for every elf, is it the right solution. Is there a reason why Arasiel, Shai and Faranwe can’t be happy together?”

“It isn’t... the custom.”

“But does that make it wrong?”

Namo frowned at them and seemed to ponder it. Shai squirmed nervously, her heart beat wildly. She didn’t even know how they would do this thing. Would Faranwe live a few days with her, then a few days with Arasiel? Would they all live together somehow? She threw a quick glance at Arasiel. She wouldn’t mind... but she had no idea what she thought of her.

“Even if I’d think about accepting your plea”, said Namo slowly, “Faranwe isn’t ready, yet. Shai, as you surely know, he felt wrong in his body after he’d been tortured into an orc.”

Shai shuddered and nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. “I know”, she whispered, “but please, tell him he doesn’t have to decide. We’ll take him both back. His children – all his children – miss him.”

Shai gulped down her tears, she didn’t want to cry in front of him. She looked down in surprise when she felt a touch, Arasiel had taken her hand and squeezed it now. She’d never thought she would be friends with the first wife of her husband, but now it looked like they could be and that made her happy. And she hoped, it could become even more. Arasiel was pretty. Shai wondered, what she thought of her. She had fine features for an orc, but she wasn’t an elf.

Namo was silent for so long that Shai wondered, if they should say goodbye. He sat completely still, his eyes seemed to look into space. Shai jumped when he suddenly moved and looked at her.

“I’ll tell him”, he said and stood up. “But more I can not promise. Goodbye.”

Shai followed him with her eyes, too dumbfounded to say anything. Arasiel finally asked the question, that she was wondering about herself.

“Was this a Yes?”

Mablung shrugged slowly. “It is not a No.”

“Thank you for your help, Mablung.” Shai smiled happily at the elf. 

“Don't thank me too early, we are not there yet. The Valar change their minds only slowly. But it is a first step.”

 

Arasiel sat down on the bed and sighed deeply. Shai and her had booked a room in Valmar to spend the night before they’d start the journey back to the coast tomorrow. She was exhausted from the conversation with Namo. Shai already lay on her bed with closed eyes.

“I’m not made for talking with Valar”, she said in her archaic Quenya that reminded Arasiel of her own youth.

“I don’t care for being taken up in the affairs of the Great, either, but in this case... Thank you for persisting. I don’t know if I wouldn’t have accepted things as they are, if I’d been alone.”

Shai opened her eyes and arched her head back to smile at her.

“I’d have done that in the past. But here everything is different. If my son can be married to an elf, why shouldn’t we be allowed to get our husband back?”

Arasiel smiled back. “I like your attitude.” She played with the tassel of the coverlet. “We haven’t really talked about how we are going to arrange our relationship, once Faranwe comes back.”

She hadn’t wanted to make plans, but Namo hadn’t said no and she had hope now. Shai squirmed a little, looking embarrassed.

“You said, you’d share him with me. What did you imagine that would look like?”

Arasiel felt her cheeks heat. She hadn’t known how to imagine Shai before meeting her, it had surprised her that she had been reborn as an orc but... she liked the way she looked.

“Well... I haven’t really thought about it”, she said although that wasn’t completely true. She laid her hand on Shai’s. “I think we should wait with making plans until Faranwe is back and can tell us what he thinks. I’m sure we’ll find a way. Do you think...”

Arasiel hesitated because she wasn’t sure how to say it without insulting Shai. She didn’t want her to think she thought her ugly, because that wasn’t true at all.

“How do you think will he look, when he’s reborn? Like you knew him or like I knew him?”

Shai looked at their hands and turned hers to lace their fingers, Arasiel felt a warm glow in her belly.

“I don’t know, but... I never had another body. I was born like this and never felt wrong. Gârsh – Faranwe – thought me pretty.” She looked away and Arasiel thought she might be blushing, though it was hard to tell with her dark skin. “But he was turned into an orc. It hurt him. His body hurt from the torture they subjected him to and his soul hurt because he didn’t feel at home in his body. He remembered what he looked like... before. I’m almost sure he’ll come back as an elf.” Shai bit her lip.

“Would you mind that?”, Arasiel asked worried. Did Shai think elves revolting? She’d heard that orcs hated elves for their beauty and although the orcs on the Island didn’t act like it, she couldn’t completely rule it out.

Shai shook her head. “No, but... I thought... what if he doesn’t want me? You and me might be in agreement, but maybe he just wants to forget his life in Angband, and I only would remind him of that.” She had tears in her eyes and Arasiel laid her arm around her shoulders.

“No, I’m sure that won’t be the case!”, she offered. “He loved you, didn’t he? I’m sure that he doesn’t want to leave you, if he isn’t forced to do so. Didn't Namo say so?” Shai looked at her with tear-bright eyes and Arasiel kissed her cheeks quickly. “Everything will be alright, Shai.”

“Thank you”, Shai whispered and leaned into her. “I’m so glad that you don’t hate me. I’m so glad that we can do this together.”

Arasiel’s skin felt hot where they touched, an excited shiver ran down her spine. She held her tighter and didn’t say anything. It wasn’t the right moment.