Founded in 2005, the Silmarillion Writers' Guild exists for discussions of and creative fanworks based on J.R.R. Tolkien's The Silmarillion and related texts. We are a positive-focused and open-minded space that welcomes fans from all over the world and with all levels of experience with Tolkien's works. Whether you are picking up Tolkien's books for the first time or have been a fan for decades, we welcome you to join us!
New Challenge: Potluck Bingo Sit down to a delicious selection of prompts served on bingo boards, created by the SWG community.
Bingo Cards Wanted for Potluck Bingo Our November-December challenge will be Potluck Bingo, featuring cards created by you! If you'd like to create cards or prompts for cards, we are taking submissions.
Tolkien Meta Week, December 8-14 We will be hosting a Tolkien Meta Week in December, here on the archive and on our Tumblr, for nonfiction fanworks about Tolkien.
New Challenge: Orctober Orcs on a quest for freedom seek a place sheltered and safe from the Dark Lord. Fulfill prompts to gather the clues needed to bring them to freedom.
A series of articles featuring fan-made maps of all the lands of Arda. Part III explores the island of Númenor and mainland Middle-earth during the Second Age.
Created for the 'Geography/Maps/Places' prompt on the "Tolkien meta" bingo board, this is a collection of maps marked with the various people groups showing how they arrived and moved about Beleriand. This collection focuses specifically on the time from the arrival of the Teleri, Vanyar, and…
This is an analysis on whether the Sindar ate the Petty-dwarves during the years they hunted them, completed for the 'Literary Analysis' prompt on the "Tolkien Meta" bingo card.
Current Challenge
Potluck Bingo
Help yourself to a collection of prompts on bingo boards designed by members and friends of the SWG. Read more ...
Random Challenge
Inspiration
Your characters inspire you--but what inspires them? Consider what inspires your characters to act and create. Read more ...
A series of articles featuring fan-made maps of all the lands of Arda. Part III explores the island of Númenor and mainland Middle-earth during the Second Age.
A reworking of the 2018 article for Long Live Feedback that includes data from the 2020 Tolkien Fanfiction Survey, pointing to a lack of comments as related to skill, confidence, and community connection.
Part of our Themed Collection series for our newsletter, this collection features fiction, artwork, and essays that transcend the idea of Orcs as the enemy, instead considering their humanity.
He and Diamond were visiting, though Pippin had been disappearing every afternoon, and taking Frodo and Elanor and most other lads and lasses in the neighborhood with him—though why they couldn’t use Pippin’s own pony, Sam couldn’t imagine.
Lord of the Rings Secret Santa 2024
LotR SESA has been ongoing for twenty-one years and is running again this year as a prompt meme hosted on AO3 for all genres of Tolkien-based fanfiction.
Kiliel Week 2024
Kiliel Week is a Tumblr event for fanworks about the Kili/Tauriel pairing.
November challenge at tolkienshortfanworks
The challenge for November has been posted to the tolkienshortfanworks community on Dreamwidth. Thematic prompt: refuge. Formal challenge: include imitation of a sound. As always, these can be filled independently and also freely combined with SWG and other challenges. New participants welcome!
The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.
I love the personalities you've given these two. They seem to fit them, while still being hilarious. Clever, as we weren't given much information about either one in the books. :)
I'm glad you like their personalities. This is the story where my version of Gil-galad acquired a personality of his own. I find him a bit hard to characterize, as you are absolutely right that we don't know much about him from the books. It ended up being a combination of deductions from Unfinished Tales, what was required for the stories I was writing, and how he developed in my head. Celebrimbor, on the other hand, leapt into my head almost fully-formed and never looked back.
I seem to remember reading in some footnote somewhere that Sauron loved mithril and collected a large proportion of the world's supply. It fit, so I stuck it in. Oh, the poltergeists have barely begun their work. I can (Almost) feel sorry for Sauron by the time they're done with him.
They'll go a long way beyond overturning teacups and causing trouble for Sauron's pets. The campaign has barely gotten started, and they'll push things to the outer limits of their mandate.
Thank you, Aiwen, for bringing such welcome entertainment during a day when I am stuck at home fighting a cold. If laughter is the best medicine, then Bringing Trouble to Barad-dûr is double-presription strength! This is terrifically funny! I love the premise, the characters, and all the little details: distaste for fish, Sauron's potential allergies. ghost-Celebrimbor and ghost-Gil-galad floating about and through things, Celebrimbor causing metal-fatigue and reminding Gil-galad that he knows a bit about Rings, Sauron's duvet and porcelain teacups (my DM - a dark lord who appreciates creature comforts - approves heartily) and well, so much is so funny!
Great story, and I can thank my mild nasopharyngitis for allowing me some quiet time to catch up here on the SWG. Bringing Trouble to Barad-dûr is a real treat!
I'm glad it's making you laugh a lot. There is a lot more of this story to come. It will be getting a bit less light-hearted shortly, due to Sauron being Sauron, but there should still be a lot to make you laugh.
No, he's not much of a literary critic, but I wanted to get at how more average inhabitants of Barad-dur were finding the mysterious happenings. You'll be seeing him again later. Glad you enjoyed it!
AH HAHAHA! This continues to be darkly hilarious, and major kudos to you for your ability to write what really is a slap-stick scenario so adroitly. I could envision all the hootworthy shenanigans. :^D
He hurled the Ring into the privy hole and floated to the ceiling to watch.
*Snort* Now that is a strategy to make Ring retrieval considerably more troublesome for the Dark Lord.
Of course, it won't be Sauron who has to go combing through the c&*p to find the dratted thing. This chapter is about as silly as the story gets. The plot will become more present and gain in intensity in the next few chapters. I'm glad you enjoyed the silliness.
I'm glad you liked that. I've been reusing some of the original characters that have already appeared with the idea that it will be more interesting to see fewer, more developed characters than hordes you only see once. This isn't the last you'll see of the Ambassador, although I don't think he'll be turning up for quite a while after this. He really isn't cut out for dealing with the likes of Sauron or the Nazgul.
They're certainly going to have a go at rescuing the prisoners. As for whether they'll succeed, for that, you'll have to wait and see. I just put the next chapter up.
The plan is well underway. As for Duilin, he was having a lot of trouble believing this is real, and he still has very little understanding of what is going on.
I wouldn't exactly have pegged the Witch King as the type to have daddy issues! (On the other hand, perhaps he was precisely the type to have daddy issues?)
We don't really know much about the Nazgul, including the Witch King. His parentage came up because I asked myself what canon character seemed most like they could be Sauron's kid. I came up with Angmar, and since this story partly follows the rule of funny, I included it here.
As for daddy issues, well, this is somebody whose magical powers and immortality are tied to his father, and who is second in command to his father. Everything Angmar has that he values is in some way or other tied to Sauron. Under those circumstances, he probably cares a lot about what Sauron thinks of him. It's a matter of survival, whether he loves or hates his father. I suspect he'd feel both emotions, so tangled together he can't tell them apart.
I remember this fic fondly from FFN and I'm very glad you're posting it here! This fic is utterly delightful. It makes me smile all the way through. And it manages to cover all sorts of absurd situations while still feeling in-character! (If Celebrimbor were sent into Barad-dur as a ghost with limited telekinetic powers, I feel that going into Sauron’s torture chamber and sabotaging all the torture instruments by giving them metal fatigue is exactly what he would do.)
Oh Valar, that was the greatest laugh I've had in days. I especially liked the bits about cows and Celebrian and Naz-girls. Sauron so out of his usual behaviour in this scene was just the best.
Comments
The Silmarillion Writers' Guild is more than just an archive--we are a community! If you enjoy a fanwork or enjoy a creator's work, please consider letting them know in a comment.