Celebrimbor: 30-Day Character Study by cloudyhymns

Day 28: Down Memory Lane, Part Four

How Celebrimbor might tell his story.

They way I see him, Celebrimbor, as a whole, is far harsher in his expectations of himself than any other, even his father. He speaks honestly, if harshly and perhaps blindly, when alive, and maintains that honesty after death--alongside additional clarity. He speaks of scholarly pride leading to disaster, but he also speaks of what he's created--not the Rings, per se, but the little projects that meant so much. The joyful ones, the ones that brought communities together. The Doors of Dúrin he speaks of, but shares only what he can; despite the Dwarves of Khazad-dûm being long gone, he took their secrets to his grave and beyond. Not even Fëanor can get a word out of him.

Celebrimbor turns soft when he speaks of the Havens, and apprenticing for a time under the people of Lord Celeborn. How it allowed him to survive the slaying of Finwë, the Oathtaking, and even the Kinslaying on the water--his voice is warm, even if his eyes are wet.

He turns wistful, almost dream-like, when he speaks of Nargothrond. While he refuses to discuss the Fall unless he is pressured into it, there are plenty of memories to be heard regarding the walls of stone; stories of Finrod and Orodreth, but stories of the early Dwarves, too, and their histories and lore and what techniques they were willing to teach a young Elven-smith.

Of the Gwaith, he speaks with pride. He has learned all their names in the afterlife, the names of all in Eregion, and recites them regularly so he does not forget. The lives of Elves are long, the lives of Elven *fëar* longer, but Celebrimbor ensures their memory and memories are preserved. He goes to them, too, when he can, after they leave the Halls of Mandos; even those who turn him away, who will not see him, receive his well-wishes and occasional support from an anonymous benefactor when the going gets tough.

He cries, of course, when he speaks of those who fell, be they Men or Elves or Dwarves or creatures, but his bleeding heart goes on. Of Annatar, he speaks in hushed tones, colored by shame even when he receives forgiveness from those of his kingdom. Most, it seems, would have him move away from shame and regret over time, but time has yet to wash those stains away when Celebrimbor insists upon remembering them. Whether or not he was "good," whether or not he "did the right thing," he hurts for it, and it is hard to define black and white in a universe of greys.

For he loved Annatar, and he loved Narvi, and he loved Galadriel, in whichever ways you choose that he did cannot be argued. I believe that Celebrimbor and Finrod have a similarly broad love for the world, and I do not see that as a mistake; I would like to think that choosing love over strife is something Celebrimbor learned from Finrod in the process of finding his own way through the world.

When he speaks of his uncles, when he speaks of his <i>father,</i> Celebrimbor smiles. What else is there to say?