Book Blubs by oshun

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Fanwork Notes

Bird Talk - Known for his popular TV show “Shut Up and Listen,” specialist in bird behavior from early childhood Turko Fëanárion insists that his methods work with the most resistant birds and the clumsiest of humans. Get all the details in this water-resistant 100-page paperback guide.

Fanwork Information

Summary:

Chapter 5 – Bird Talk - Known for his popular TV show “Shut Up and Listen,” specialist in bird behavior from early childhood Turko Fëanárion insists that his methods work with the most resistant birds and the clumsiest of humans. Get all the details in this water-resistant 100-page paperback guide.
 
These blurbs are written by a reader who is on the mailing lists of far too many publishing companies. Why not use some of the dozens of prompts of yet another annual B2MeM to design covers or ads, write ad copy, review, or draft summaries of books I would not be likely to write?

Major Characters: Celegorm, Elu Thingol, Finarfin, Fingolfin, Finwë, Indis, Maglor, Mandos, Olwë, Túrin

Major Relationships:

Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor

Challenges: B2MeM 2017

Rating: General

Warnings:

This fanwork belongs to the series

Art/graphics
Chapters: 5 Word Count: 11, 471
Posted on 3 March 2017 Updated on 7 March 2017

This fanwork is complete.

Chapter 1 - Swan Ships

What happened after the destruction of the shipping industry of his home town? Would all hope be lost? Or would the upheaval usher in a new area of prosperity and innovation? Find out in the new novel Swan Ships.

Read Chapter 1 - Swan Ships

Chapter 2 - Who Killed Námo?

Who Killed Námo - The wacky and wonderful P.I. team of Ingwë, Finwë, and Elwë are faced with their most challenging case yet. Who did not want to knock off Námo?

Túrin Turambar adds another darkly atmospheric and hilarious thriller to his popular The Realm of the Valar mystery series.

 

Read Chapter 2 - Who Killed Námo?

Chapter End Notes

1-black and white (blue path: artwork)
2-abstract (blue path: artwork)

 

Chapter 3 - The Colors of Our World

Powerful High King Fingolfin receives word that their unified kingdoms are once again under attack. Will saving the Noldor from the fierce onslaught of Morgoth prove more daunting even than bringing together its restive elements?

Read Chapter 3 - The Colors of Our World

Chapter 4 - Noldor

Noldor - Tea & Books Tirion’s largest bookseller is unable to meet demand for sensational new novel. Some call it slander, some call it art, and still others claim that under the sensationalism lies a blatantly political bias.

Read Chapter 4 - Noldor

Bestseller Noldor contains incontinent alcoholics, sadistic brutes, depressive whiners, sex addicts, and greedy sociopaths. Some call it slander, some call it art, and still others claim that under the sensationalism lies a blatantly political bias. Not surprisingly, a few families most harshly dealt with in the book tried to halt publication. “It’s too much,” said Arafinwë Finwëan. “Most of it is not even true.” Tirion Herald Tribune.

Accordingly to a spokesman of the District Court of the Western District of Valinor, the book has already generated a plethora of lawsuits. “The publishers of Noldor were warned by the concerned parties, but ploughed on regardless. When novelists base their characters on real people, trouble tends to follow. However, this kind of case rarely makes it to court.” The Jurist.

Intercepted at the stage door of another sellout performance of his new rock opera and asked about the new book sensation Noldor, Macalaurë Fëanárion said, “You know what they say! For an artist, any publicity is good publicity.” Indie Music News.

She's wise and glamorous and doesn't have time for trashy novels filled with gratuitous sex scenes and gossip. Queen Indis professed to be unworried by the sales of Noldor. “This will all blow over in time. These things always do.” Profiles in Style.

King Finwë seemed unruffled today by questions about the novel Noldor. “It is only a novel, which means it is intended as fiction. And the writer is not willing to acknowledge authorship. I have far more important things to worry about, like the critical issues in education today which we called this press conference to discuss.” Valinor News Today.

Chapter 5 - Bird Talk

Bird Talk - Known for his popular TV show “Shut Up and Listen,” specialist in bird behavior from early childhood Turko Fëanárion insists that his methods work with the most resistant birds and the clumsiest of humans. Get all the details in this water-resistant 100-page paperback guide.

Read Chapter 5 - Bird Talk

Bird Talk

Bird photo in public domain; US Fish and Wildlife Barred Owl.

Comments

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I adore so many of her character portraits. I was wondering about the markings on Fingon's face and her response to that was, "Battle bodyart))) He goes to rescue Maitimo)!" That just made it more wonderful for me. I remember as a little girl in the reference section of the library sitting in a corner and obsessively pouring over obscure references to ethnic and aboriginal body art of warriors around the world over the centuries. The concept fits Fingon perfectly who carries everything to the furthest extent.

Imagine his father asking, "How could do anything so insane? Alone and unprepared!" And Fingon answering, "I was prepared. I covered my face with war paint and I was determined to succeed or die trying. One cannot underestimate that power behind that, coupled with my love." Maedhros had a very good friend.