No Justice to Yourself by oshun

I loved this one! I don't normally read Erestor since he's not canon enough for my stingy rules. But you have me convinced! 

With a few changes it fits in with our own lives. That's what I liked the best about this.  Museums, Fingon and Earwen were all very convincing.

Hi Oshun,

I decided to post my MEFA review here for this great story.

I simply adore Oshun's ability to depict nuanced, in-depth, living, breathing characters. This story is a brilliant portrait of Erestor returning to Valinor and finding himself caught up in unfinished business from his youth, his infatuation with the handsome Finarfin. When the [very married] King unexpectedly returns his affection, Erestor becomes involved in an affair that cannot possibly end well. This was a swap fic request and I appreciate how completely the story fit all the particulars of Darth's request, down to the fact that Eärwen is most emphatically not "soppily happy for them."

There is so much to admire in this story. First of all, Oshun did a great job with the setting. I can visualize the pageantry of the party in the beautiful palace with all its grandeur and history, the costumes, the musicians sawing away in the corner, the mouth-watering menu. All of it seen through Erestor's eyes as he tries to reconcile his memories of the place and the person he was then with who he is now. The history of the Noldor is deftly woven into this story, and it's gratifying to know that much of the painful wounds have been successfully healed. Fingon makes an appearance, remarking about the portrait of his grisly death in the new Museum of Rebellion, Flight, and Reconciliation. (I love that.) But of course you can't completely go home again, as Erestor discovers.

Oshun depicts the characters beautifully, including a fully healed, playful, and pregnant Celebrian who warns Erestor to ["guard your heart well, Erestor. My grandfather is still a gorgeous man. And still very married."] and a tiny but powerful Eärwen who does not hesitate to confront Erestor in order to protect her marriage and the kingdom. We can feel Erestor's loneliness after his failed relationships and his yearning for that love of his youth, all of which makes him vulnerable to Finarfin's advances. I love his self-awareness of his state, and yet inability to stop himself, which is so true to life. [Erestor recognized the exquisite pain of letting down the last self-protective barriers around his heart. ‘I'm a menace to myself,' he thought.]

With Finarfin, we get the impression of a good man, who has a certain amount of ennui in his marriage (it is forever after all) and is now indulging his own need for romance and for new experiences since he's never had a relationship with a man before, as well as working out his past attraction for Erestor. The love scene is so well done, with its sometimes less than romantic details, such as that wonderfully awkward first kiss and Erestor's numb leg. Their attraction feels very genuine. [It was on those occasions that Erestor realized Finarfin appeared protective of their time together as if uncertain of how long it could last. But the quiet kisses or fierce lovemaking, the talks, the stillness in each other's arms, were not something Erestor could sacrifice simply because it would be sensible for him to end it before Finarfin did.] The fact that the story ends with uncertainty as to what will happen (although we can guess that Erestor will end the affair) works beautifully. Life is messy like this. I'm left with an aching in my heart for all of them. A story that will join my list of favorites.

Cheers,

~elfscribe

Copy of my MEFA review:

This is certainly not a pairing I’d think of looking for and, in fact, it seems Oshun didn’t think of pairing Finarfin and Erestor originally herself, but accepted a challenge. However, she’s made an amazing success of it. The setting in fourth-age Tirion is sketched in with just the right amount of detail, the premise that things did not quite work out again between Finarfin and Earwen after his return to Tirion is a likely one, and Erestor is given a detailed enough history to make him interact interestingly not only with Elrond and Finarfin, but with others as well.
In a way, this could be read as a sad story. In spite of the relatively open ending, it seems quite possible, perhaps even likely, that Erestor is heading for yet another fall, the sort of emotional entanglement he was desperately trying to avoid from the start. Fingon, in the sub-plot, seems to be embarked on a somewhat hopeless, perhaps even slightly delusional, enterprise.
However, there is plenty here to counteract any possible gloom. There is, for a start, the delightfully recovered Celebrian—she and Elrond are clearly ready to function as an effective support network in case of need. There are the affectionate touches, the humorous touches, the slightly naughty ones (Erestor’s propensity for swearing, that unbelievable museum) and the telling ones. These characters are a pleasure to meet (or meet again). And I’m happy to note that Oshun herself seems to be pleased enough with her version of Erestor to introduce him again, briefly, in her more recent fiction Ulmo’s Palace.

Wow... what a fiction! 

I loved it!

I loved the truth expressed in this. Erestor's self-deprecating reaction to being approached by Finarfin and getting involved with him rings very true to how life actually is: complex, messy and uneasily resolved in the best of cases. And the added bits of architecture and tapestries, the larger history of the Noldor comes through nicely. I almost would have liked a bit more about Erestor's history as a Feanorian and how the relationship might end. I was looking for a chapter two before I realized it was a one-shot. I do love the fact that Earwen was not "soppy" in any way, shape or form.  Thanks for an engaging read!

I was impressed by your depiction of Finarfin.

You managed to portray the highest king of the Noldor, who appears so faraway in the reception, as less then sure of himself, and maybe even a little manipulative at the end with a lover he wants to keep.

I'm impressed, although ofcourse, this makes me like Finarfin less then I usually do.

But Erestor, I love your Erestor. So observant and self aware, and yet besotted, like a teenager again...

The story left me with a feeling of "c'est la vie". Life is never easy.

Thank you for a good read.

Oh, wow, I wasn't expecting this outcome! What a brilliant story you've written, Oshun! Your characters shine through the pages so vividly, and there are so many incredible details in here! I loved how you've woven the history of the Noldor into Celebrían's new home but, more than that, this had elements of comedy, drama, romance... perfectly balanced. Of course, I loved seeing this Finarfin - different from the majority of portrayals - but your Erestor... ah, there's nothing like a well-written Erestor (I love him!) and yours was exceptional. This was truly brilliant!