Endless… by Yirth-kaio

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Fanwork Notes

Written for B2MEM 2010, challenge "Have you ever felt totally lost? In a big city? In a foreign country? Because somebody has left you alone? Write a story, poem or create an artwork where the character has to deal with loss--either physical or spiritual."

Fanwork Information

Summary:

Feanor's soul is lost in the Halls of Mandos and in its own faded memories.

Major Characters: Fëanor

Major Relationships:

Artwork Type: No artwork type listed

Genre: Experimental

Challenges:

Rating: General

Warnings: Character Death

Chapters: 1 Word Count: 539
Posted on 27 May 2010 Updated on 27 May 2010

This fanwork is complete.

Chapter 1

Read Chapter 1

He walks slowly along a passage, and it seems the passage is endless… or is it a maze of different passages and halls? He doesn’t know… he is not sure in anything. There’s mist everywhere and dim light… and everything seems the same… or is it the same really… maybe it’s a circle, he thinks, but the thought is forgotten the very moment it appears… He approaches a door, and the door seems familiar. Has he been here already? Has he returned here for some reason or just by a coincidence? Or is it only a false memory? When all memories are mixed and misty, it’s hard to tell… He sits down, leaning his back against the door. The door is locked, and it also seems familiar. Perhaps it’s always locked, and he comes here and sits like that now and then… He tries to remember something… it must be something important, that he has forgotten… something… somebody… He has been going somewhere… why? He must find something, yes… something he has lost… something else, not memories, they were lost later. But what is that something? Was it an object… an event… a word? A name maybe? Maybe it’s not even something he is looking for, but somebody? Faces… they evade him. He remembers somebody, but can’t remember how they looked… who they were... They did something to him… or he did something to them… He buries his face in hands and makes one last effort to remember… The door… it was long ago... there was something important behind it. He gets up and tries to open the door, but it won’t open… Finally he steps aside and walks slowly further. The mist… why is it here? Should it be here? And what place is this “here”? He doesn’t remember… He doesn’t know even how he got here or he has been always here… no, not always! He is suddenly very sure about it. He was in some other places before. He may not remember them, but they were… somewhere… one day… He walks on, cherishing the memories of that strange door until they fade away… He stops… he realizes that he has just forgotten something. “How…” he murmurs and wants to say “weird” but he can’t remember the word. It feels odd… he sighs and continues walking. The passage divides into two… he doesn’t remember which one he should choose… he doesn’t remember he always chooses the right one – just because it’s right… It feels right. This time he turns left and walks, still thinking that the walls seem familiar… even when they disappear in the mist and he finds himself in a large hall. He knows he has been here before… because he really has. There’s a tall dark figure in the centre of the hall. He approaches it to see clearer. The figure turns out to be a dark-haired man in violet robes. The man watches him intently and their eyes finally meet… … …the memories flood his mind… He remembers the silmarils… the oath… his sons… kinslaying in Alqualonde, ships burning in Losgar… Tears run down his cheeks, but he doesn’t realize he is crying… because another memory fills everything  the memory of the vala, who changed everything… all his life. And he remembers the name. 

Melkor…


Comments

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Oohh, this is definitely an eerie take on the Halls of Mandos!

I like the way you use the formatting (the way it's not broken up into separate paragraphs) to visually add to Feanor's confusion and show how jumbled his thoughts were. The sort of stream of consciousness style is also interesting!

Great story!