Of procedure and penetration by Fadesintothewest

Chapter 1

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Findekáno was utterly bored. Attending the Nolmëisse had been exciting, once upon a time, but now, his time studying at the Noldorin institution renown for learning, was simply a study of Noldorin caste. And Findekáno hated being at the top of it, resented it sometimes. More often than not, Findekáno had to worry about how he was acting, who he was talking to, what tone he used, lest these insufferable sons and daughters of nobles run off and tell their fathers that Nolofinwë was sure scheming something! At least in seminar, if he acted out, he could get away with some fun, if he kept his teasing strictly to course subjects.

 

What a bore! Findekáno had long used up his excitement on the subjects that interested him. BUT, but there was one class he was looking forward to, taught by his elder half cousin Nelyafinwë. Findekáno reveled in causing havoc in Nelyo’s class. Nelyo took seriously the teaching of judicial procedure: from the interpretation of the archaic codes that came with them on the Journey, to the bureaucratic nonsense that emerged in the long march of time in Tirion. Findekáno, of course being the eldest of Nolofinwë, was supremely versed in these codes, had to be in order to catch a lord vying for power and trying to use ignorance to get their way. Ah, but this was a problem of caste once more. Many of the other nobles did not have to familiarize themselves so well with such mundane, juridical happenstance, for their lives did not require it. Findekáno’s did! Though admitting this, Findekáno knew he was just being a spoilt prince.

 

Findekáno frowned. “Nonsense!” he yelled out to no one in particular. Some of the students milling about, waiting for their class with Nelyafinwë raised their heads and once they saw it was Findekáno, shook them in disapproval. Surely the eldest son of Findekáno was up to something. Only the Princes had the freedom to act out of bounds. Others laughed and shared teasing words with their friend. The divide amongst the Noldor was always thus. At least they all agreed, whether begrudgingly or fancifully, that he was quite handsome.

 

Nelyafinwë walked into the large hall and students expectantly stood and filed behind their professor and walked single file into the smaller discussion hall. Nelyo stood behind a lectern at the front of the room. The students filed into their seats in the auditorium. It was a small space and the seats descended from those at the back that sat highest to the first row that sat lowest. Students waited expectantly for him to start. Many were just happy to be able to observe Feanaro’s eldest in person. He was truly well-shaped!

 

Findekáno walked in and sat towards the back as he always did. Makalaurë being Nelyo’s brother begrudgingly sat up front to appease his brother, but cared little for codes and procedure. What a bore!

 

Students around Findekáno were whispering excitedly about Hallowe'en, an old festival and celebration that came with the elves from the time before the journey, where darkness and death were more common. In the Blessed Lands it had become a celebration, a remembrance, and elves would dress up as the monsters from fairy tales of old to playfully commemorate the divide between living and dead. It was also a time of frivolity and a loosening of the strict moral codes that governed the conservative Noldor.

 

Nelyafinwë raised his voice quieting the group and started with his lecture. Large volumes were laid out before students and quills started busily dipping and writing:

 

Nelyo looked up and caught Findekáno’s attention, smirking. Findekáno leaned forward, anticipating what Nelyo was going to share. Let the games commence! Of course this was a chore for Nelyo too, but this was a role all the first born of the Princes had to fulfill. Findekáno shivered thinking that he too would have to lead his own class. Manwë’s Balls!

 

Nelyo started, with a grin, “To keep things interesting and fun this Hallowe'en, lets discuss the laws on fornication.”

 

Some students gasped. Findekáno let out a “What?!”

 

Makalaurë was caught half unawares: “A forni- what?”

 

Students laughed at Makalaurë’s characteristic indifference.

 

Nelyo glared at his brother, pronouncing with clarity: “For-ni-ca-tion!” Several students sniggered and others sighed into longing smiles. The thought of fornicating with the eldest of Finwë’s grandchildren was a waking dream many drifted into as Nelyo was lecturing.

 

Makalaurë rolled his eyes and Nelyo silently promised himself that he would send Makalaurë to the halls of the dead himself.

 

“What is the punishment for fornication before marriage from the long version of the codes?” Nelyo asked, ignoring Findekáno glaring at him from up high. The long version was informal for the version of the codes that held the elder codes pre journey and those developed post journey.

 

Findekáno stood and Nelyo acknowledged him as was customary in Noldorin seminars. Findekáno answered, rapidly listing the punishment for fornication enshrined in the codes: “One, a quick betrothal of the fornicators if agreeable--the agreeable part is quiet vague,” Findekáno added. “Two,” he continued, “is banishment though this is a holdover from before the Journey; and three the right of public grievance by one or all of the parties accused.” Findekáno narrowed his eyes. Just what was Nelyo doing, toying dangerously with a topic that Nelyo refused to speak on, indeed, pretended it never happened!

 

Some students around Findekáno rolled their eyes. One even said not so quietly. “You would be familiar with this code.” While students knew Findekáno to be a flirt, they could not fathom just how right they were, in this accusation. Others looked longingly in Findekáno’s direction. The spirit of Hallowe’en was contagious!

 

Students around him laughed. Nelyafinwë held his hand up and quieted the room of Noldor students.

 

Findekáno pretended great offense at the insult, shaking his head and kissing his thumb as a show of piety earning more scorn from some of his peers. He would not let them get the better of him. Findekáno winked at those he caught looking up at him.

 

“Correct,” Nelyo replied, Findekáno. They wouldn’t certainly forget this lesson, Nelyo reasoned. “What is the original definition of the right of public grievance?” Nelyo continued.

 

Students started busily flipping through notes and their large tomes. Findekáno made a big show of standing and waving his hand to answer. If Nelyo wanted to play at this game, Findekáno could too. Nelyo looked around. “Anyone?” Students looked hastily through their notes, but none could find the answer.

 

“Very well, Findekáno,” Nelyo offered, his face neutral. From memory and definitely from experience Findekáno recited: “Parties accused and who have been adjudicated of fornication, shall have the right of grievance. This grievance shall be made 1) in public and 2) before a council of appointed leaders. Adjudicated parties will thereby be given the opportunity to offer evidence that they were tricked by the non-elven into fornication (by witchery, fey magic, or the Dark lord) or the elven (deception, trickery, or otherwise).”

 

Makalaurë whistled in appreciation at Findekáno’s knowledge.

 

Nelyo looked directly at his brother. “Do you have anything to add?” knowing he did for Makalaurë had also been caught up in Findekáno’s quite private run in with the codes. Standing and earning the surprise of those around him—for Makalaurë was not particularly known to care about any codes—Makalaurë described : “The original definition came from the time prior to our Journey. No code has been written that supersedes it so it remains good law and defines the procedure for right of grievance.”

 

“That is correct,” Nelyo remarked. Makalaurë sat down, satisfied with himself, for once, in a class that otherwise held no interest for him.

 

“Take notes,” Nelyo directed to the seminar students. “It is an old code that came with us before the Second Clan journeyed,” Nelyo repeated. “It originates and was suited to a time when these things were commonplace. Such was probably also the case with the second punishment of banishment Findekáno mentioned. In the outer lands, the punishment of banishment was viable.” Nelyo clarified.

 

“What about the gender? Does it account for that as many of our post-journey codes do?” one student asked.

 

“Important question,” Nelyo answered. “The older code does not differentiate the gender of the aggrieved party as many of the post-journey laws and procedures do.” Nelyo continued lecturing, “And this lack of gender differentiation has implications for the manner in which adjudication processes go forward outlined in this old code.”

 

“Findekáno,” Nelyo directed himself to his half-cousin, “Is the adjudication process public or private?”

 

Findekáno coughed, cursing Nelyo. Why now? Why did Nelyo decide to face this in such a public manner? Nelyo and Findekáno had the law bent to help them once upon a time. Remembering this, Findekáno answered carefully, “Adjudication of the right of grievance of parties accused of fornication should be public.”

 

“Indeed,” Nelyo replied. “The notion of transparency is behind the public nature that shapes the procedural definition of adjudication. This procedure and intent has not changed since before the Journey.” Smiling, Nelyo looked up at Findekáno, BUT, and there is always a but, “the King’s Council has the right to decide whether to read the old codes in light of current standards. In the case of fornication adjudication might call for more care and privacy. However, the King’s Council may follow a strict interpretation following original intent that the adjudication of fornication be public.”

 

One student stood, angrily denouncing the caste system that governed Noldor life: “The power and highborn status of some parties involved in such a process might sway the King’s Council’s decision.”

 

Findekáno’s countenance softened. This was Nelyo’s way of asking forgiveness for having been so difficult through that process and refusing to speak on it.

 

“Perhaps,” Nelyo answered. Looking to the seated students in the room, Nelyo asked, “What say you all? And if you agree with your peer’s assesment what might we do in the larger council to prevent such processes from being influenced?” Nelyo paused, “but think carefully. This is where law and public policy come together.”

 

A Noldor woman, named Eruanne, stood. “Because of the biases and lesser standing of those of us identified as women the burden of strict interpretation would fall heaviest on women and heaviest on those of lesser status.”

 

Several students pounded their desks in approval. Others whistled their disapproval.

 

“Correct,” Nelyo responded. “Alas, we are only here to learn the codes, though I do urge you to take this up in the second part of this course where we discuss the role of public policies in informing laws and procedures.”

 

The class went on learning more about the arcane codes that still governed and the challenges of codes written in differing times, with radically different ideas. Nelyo was laying the foundation for the course that followed. One thing was to have laws, another question entirely was the fairness of those laws and their unequal burden upon a people so divided.

 

Seminar drew to a close. Eruanne waited for Findekáno outside the hall. Findekáno could feel someone trailing him as he made his way to his friend. He had an idea just who it might be.

 

Atanalcar, who despised Finwë and his children sauntered up to the pair. “Eruanne, please say you were not caught fornicating with this heathen? I would think your father had taught you better morals.”

 

“Oh go fuck a pig,” Eruanne answered, annoyed by Atanalcar’s predictable antics.

 

Atanalcar pretended offense. “No my dear, if one is doing the fucking of pigs, it is you,” he sneered.

 

Findekáno growled, “Be off with you, ball sack.” Findekáno flicked Atanalcar’s ear with his finger.

 

Atanalcar hit Findekáno’s hand away, angrily retorting “Swine!” He turned and walked away from them making a show of it, calling Findekáno all sorts of names as he left.

 

“Truly you deserve it,” Makalaurë answered coming to stand with his friends.

 

“You do,” Eruanne agreed, “though I certainly do not deserve to be sullied so.”

 

Findekáno pretended offense, “You should be so offended to be accused of fucking me?! I would be honored. I am a PRIZE!”

 

Makalaurë sniggered, but said nothing, exchanging a look with Findekáno.

 

Eruanne laughed. “Dear Findekáno, I would never lower my breeches for you and let that cock of yours come near me. Who knows where it’s been!”

 

“Yes!” Makalaurë agreed loudly. “You’d be surprised where it has been,” Makalaurë added,  moving to avoid Findekáno’s rebuke, but he was too slow.

 

“Shut up!” Findekáno punched Makalaurë, earning a grunt in reply.

 

“That hurt Finno!” Makalaurë accused, nursing his arm.

 

“It’s deserved,” Findekáno feigned distress. “You both sound like Atanalcar!”

 

The three continued on this way for some time waiting for Nelyo.

 

Nelyo emerged from his duties and met the trio outside the halls. “I am so ready for the mingling of the lights!” Nelyo shared, exasperated from his teaching duties. It was always this way. As students they thought it couldn’t get worse, but that’s until they started teaching, and understood the pain of it, truly!

 

Findekáno looked at his half-cousin through narrowed eyes. “Just what were you up to in there.”

 

Nelyo smiled wide. “I have to be up for some fun too you know! You think you have it bad? Just you wait until it’s you lecturing on fucking boring codes.” Nelyo looked at Findekáno more intently, “No harm done.” Between them Nelyo shared, I am sorry.

 

“I suppose not,” Findekáno replied, though everyone knew something absurd was going to come out of his mouth. “Everyone knows I am a virgin, afterall!” To Nelyo he shared privately, But I am like a virgin, I’ve missed you penetrating me!

 

Eruanne let out a snort and Makalaurë doubled over laughing. “A virgin?!” Nelyo cried out in disbelief.

 

“Yes, of course a virgin!”  Findekáno replied, acting offended. “Who here can name one maiden I have fucked, meaning my penis has entered a vagina.” Findekáno was a flirt and kissed many a maiden, but none could say if they had been fucked by the Prince. None would at least admit it because truly none had been fucked by said Prince.

 

Makalaurë laughed more fiercely and Nelyo quieted.

 

Eruanne looked ironically at Findekáno. “Besides that time you begged me to let you fuck me that one night you came to me horribly horny because of some unrequited love?”

 

Nelyo spared a sharp glance in Findekáno’s direction. This he did not know!

 

It was Findekáno’s turn to sputter. “But, but, I was quite the fool, such a scoundrel for doing that and, and… don’t repeat that story!”

 

Makalaurë was interested in this story. “This is the first time I hear of my dearest cousin considering putting an actual penis in a vagina!” He knew that Findekáno’s act of being a flirt and bedding maidens was an act to throw off those that might harm him if they knew the truth of his romantic interest.

 

Before any of the other three could speak, Findekáno spoke up, quite enthusiastically. “How do the codes define the act of fornication.” 

 

Nelyo smiled, he knew, and remembered too painfully, what Findekáno was after. “Penetration of a woman by a man.”

 

Eruanne spoke up, “Why did we not cover this in seminar!”

 

Nelyo smiled thinly, though his lips were certainly not thin. Answering Eruanne, he shared, “Oh you know Nolmëisse codes censuring any talk of penis, vagina and penetration.”

 

“Dear me,!” Eruanne exclaimed, “they truly want us to remain powerless without knowledge.”

 

“So according to those codes,” Findekáno interrupted, returning his friends attention to his question. There was a reason for it after all. “According to that, I am a virgin, technically,” Findekáno declared triumphantly

 

Eruanne’s eyes grew big. “That means that the one time you were accused of fornication??!!! I knew it!” Eruanne screamed, “I knew you liked your cock too much to not love thee cock.” Eruanne grew serious. “So who was the poor fellow you were caught with?”

 

“I will never tell,” Findekáno answered honestly.

 

“Understandably,” Eruanne added, but her curiosity was piqued.

 

Nelyo glared at Findekáno and Makalaurë ran ahead of them laughing and being entirely too amused with the situation, though the charges of fornication first brought against Findekáno and Nelyo were not a laughing matter then. At least they were now.

 

Makalaurë stopped suddenly.

 

“What is it?” Nelyo asked.

 

“My costume!” Makalaurë shouted.

 

“What about it,” Nelyo hesitated to ask.

 

“I’m going to be a great, big cock! In honor of Findekáno!”

 

Findekáno jumped around, giddy, “Me too, me too!”

 

Eruanne rolled her eyes. “Thank goodness the cock holds no interest for me.” Looking at Nelyo she asked, “Will you too be a cock?”

 

Nelyo laughed. Eruanne was not subtle in her insults. “I shall be testicles,” Nelyo answered, though there was no way he was going to dress up as testicles.

 

“This I want to see!” Eruanne answered, half sorry she was caught up in the absurd games of men.

 

Makalaurë inquired, “And what will you be? A vagina!”

 

Eruanne replied, “Of course not! I am dressing as a cloud or tree or something of that nature I can tack on a box. I mean to wear a box where I can store lots of liquor and food to bring with me wherever the night takes me!”

 

“Now that is well thought out,” Findekáno observed.

 

Before long, it was time for Eruanne to depart and descend to her home in the lower levels of Tirion less rumors start circulating of her scandalous outing with Finwë’s grandsons when a proper lady should be home and helping set the dinner table. The Noldor were chauvinist sods!

 

Makalaurë found an excuse to leave Findekáno and Nelyo alone. “My penis will take a long time to build,” he muttered, going on about foreskin and other such details. “I’ll see you at home?” Makalaurë asked Nelyo.

 

“I’ll be there shortly. I’ll catch up,” Nelyo shooed his brother away.

 

Making sure no one was within earshot, Findekáno looked at Nelyo, “I thought you swore never to speak of what happened?”

 

Nelyo smiled and though he could not get closer to Findekáno he allowed his eyes to soften. “I wish I could profess amnesia but I cannot put it out of my mind. The cost has been too great.”

 

Findekáno replied, “It has. It has been a year almost to the day. I miss you.”

 

“And I you.” Nelyo added, “What say you we try again, though more cautiously this time.”

 

“We were cautious,” Findekáno reminded Nelyo.

 

“No we were not,” Nelyo disagreed. “Nevertheless, I do not care if we are caught again. I prefer banishment than not being with you.”

 

Findekáno was for once, speechless. “Maitimo, I, I…”

 

“But only if you feel the same,” Nelyo added.

 

“Oh Maitimo, but I do!” Findekáno’s words tumbled out restrained. He had to fight back the urge to take Nelyo right there in the streets.

 

“Tonight,” Nelyo suggested, his eyes revealing the hunger he had for Findekáno

 

“Tonight,” Findekáno agreed, whispering. A sly smile graced Findekáno’s handsome face.

 

“What are you thinking?” Nelyo inquired, knowing too well that impish grin.

 

“I could be a donut and you could be some sort of penis pastry and no one would know better and you could penetrate me all night.” 

 

Nelyo started laughing. Findekáno was always outrageous and he loved him so for it.

 

“Very well,” Nelyo agreed, “I’ll be your penis pastry if you’ll be my donut.”

 

It was Findekáno’s turn to laugh and laugh they did catching the attention of many who walked by. Clearly the sons of Fëanáro and Nolofinwë were up to no good. Boys would be boys, they would think, no wiser to the truth.

 

“Ugh,” Findekáno complained, “I do not want to leave you, but I must as I am sure you need to go.”

 

“Indeed,” Nelyo answered. “Away with us. The sooner we meet our family obligations of dinner, the quicker we can get to building our costumes. Meet me at our place. I’m sure Makalaurë will have plenty of material ready for us to start crafting. We can use my mother’s tools.” Thankfully their fathers were not against their continued friendship, though their fathers and Finwë had extracted promises from each that their illicit affair end immediately. It had ended so frightening was their almost outing, but slowly their feelings for one another had drawn them back to each other, first in friendship, and now in discrete touches and exchange of loving words.

 

“Until then,” Findekáno smiled.

 

The two departed, images of donut’s and pastries dancing in their heads. Hallowe'en, the festival that allowed tradition to be mocked, would be a cockful night of penetrating adventure for Nelyo and Findekáno.