I'll Be Yours If You'll Be Mine by NelyafinweFeanorion

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Chapter 40

It was a long, cold walk back from breakfast. Maglor kept rubbing his hands together but they were so tingly from the cold he could barely feel them.

"It was your idea to go to breakfast," Tyelko said, rubbing his arms. "We should have called Mae to come get us."

"I'm sure Maedhros had more important things to do, like talk to Dad." Maglor hadn't gotten a text from Maedhros. He could only assume things had gone well. Or at least had not resulted in Maedhros leaving for Formenos. Surely he would have called if he was planning on leaving.

Maglor shivered and rocked on his heels as Tyelko punched in the garage door code. They both ducked under the garage door as soon as it reached a reasonable height, not willing to spend one more minute outside.

Tyelko made it to the laundry room door first. He yanked it open only to find Maedhros on the other side, unbalanced by the abrupt door opening, almost falling into him as a result.

"I was wondering if you were ever going to come back," Maedhros said, steadying himself with a hand on the door frame. "I texted you," he said to Maglor.

Even with the garage door closed now Maglor could feel himself shivering. He gingerly pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Crap. I must have left it on 'do not disturb' from last night." He looked up at Maedhros apologetically. "Sorry."

"At least you're back," Maedhros said. "I got a bit concerned when you weren't answering. I found Tyelko's phone on the kitchen counter so I knew there was no point calling him." He jangled his car keys at them. "I was heading out to look for you. I couldn't imagine you had lasted this long on a run, Maglor."

"Much as I appreciate the sentiments, Mae, can we do this in the kitchen? It's cold as fuck. I can't feel my hands or feet and I swear my balls are retracting," Tyelko complained.

Maedhros put a restraining hand flat on Tyelko's chest. "Nope. Not until I talk to you. Your balls have been blue before and you've survived," Maedhros said drily. "Listen, did Maglor talk to you? About Dad?"

Tyelko's eyes grew stormy and his face flushed. "Yeah and I have a few things to say about that . . . "

"No, you don't. Not if you want to come inside," Maedhros said flatly. "Dad's backed down. There's no need to rehash it, trust me Tyelko. I've said my piece and from what I understand from Mom, so has Maglor." Maedhros' silver eyes swept over to his other brother.

Maglor knew that look. He would be getting a lecture, of that there was no doubt. Maybe it could wait until he warmed up? "Ok, Maedhros, we get it. Can we please talk about this inside?" Maglor asked, another shiver rippling through him. "I think even my balls have progressed to purple by now."

Maedhros continued to bar their entrance. "Tyelko?" Maedhros' stern looked returned to his fair-haired brother.

"Fine. I won't say anything to Dad today. Now will you let us come into the damn house? Neither of us will ever be able to father children if we stay out here any longer," Tyelko growled.

"Idiots," Maedhros said, as he moved aside. "Why didn't you just call me for a ride?"

"Thought you'd be busy with Dad or driving like a maniac out to Formenos," Maglor's teeth were chattering now, as he stepped into the house.

"I never drive like a maniac," Maedhros objected, closing the door behind him.

Tyelko and Maglor exchanged glances. Tyelko rolled his eyes at his eldest brother and Maglor just shook his head. "Figure of speech, Mae, figure of speech," Tyelko said, barreling past him to get to the warmth of the kitchen.

Soon the three of them were seated at the kitchen table, mugs of steaming tea in hand. Maedhros shook his head when Maglor asked for details of his conversation with Fëanor. "Not here, Maglor. Everyone's home and I don't need the whole family embroiled in this. You two are bad enough. We can talk up in our room later."

Maedhros cornered Tyelko while Maglor showered and Tyelko finally, grudgingly agreed to let the matter rest and not antagonize Fëanor any further. Assurance that there would be no repercussions about his relationship with Aredhel seemed to finally mollify him. He had left when Maglor had returned, to take his turn in the shower.

Maedhros turned his attention to Maglor. "Why didn't you tell me you talked to Dad?" Maedhros asked. His expression was guarded, his gaze intense.

"You'd had a rough enough night as it was-you didn't need to be worried about me," Maglor said, throwing up a hand warningly when Maedhros tried to interrupt. "No, let me say this," he continued, his voice strengthening and the timbre deepening as he spoke. "I know how you were before Fingon. And after. I see what the two of you mean to each other." He rubbed his hands on his legs and resumed. "You weren't going to tell Dad that. But I could give him a snapshot of it, a view that you wouldn't share. Maybe my insight as an outsider would make him rethink what you had already said to him." He narrowed his eyes at Maedhros. "I think I just reframed it," Maglor admitted. "And I think he had already realized he'd overstepped, by the time I got to him. He really didn't give me the kind of fight I expected." Maglor regarded Maedhros intently, fists clenched in anticipation of the lecture Maedhros had in store for him.

But instead he got one of Maedhros' smiles, those soft, fond ones he remembered from their youth. "You are a force to be reckoned with when you get riled up, Maglor. I'm glad it doesn't happen often and that I'm not on the receiving end." Maedhros' voice dropped. "Thanks. I know how much you hate doing that kind of thing. Especially with Dad."

"I'll do whatever I need to for you, Maedhros." Maglor kept his voice steady with effort.

"I know," Maedhros said. "And I would do the same for you."

"You've spent your whole life doing it already-for me, for Tyelko, for all of us. It was only fair for me to speak up for you, for once."

Maedhros had left Tyelko and Maglor contentedly sprawled on the family room sofa, arguing about whether to watch a movie or play video games. This encroachment into what the twins considered their personal territory had engendered some indignant squawking from the Ambarussa but Maedhros had cheerfully made his exit anyway, leaving the four of them to argue amongst themselves. They could figure it out. He had plans with Fingon and he wasn't about to be late.

Maedhros was actually early and had only been at the cafe for a few minutes when Fingon slid into the booth across from him.

"Hey," Fingon said, blue eyes lighting up at the sight of Maedhros. He stretched his hand across the tabletop.

Maedhros linked their hands together and felt the calm of Fingon's presence settle over him. "How'd it go?" he asked, fingers threading through Fingon's, warming the other's chilled hand. "You find a car?"

"We found dozens of cars. Dad wants me to get a new one, even though I keep telling him used is fine." There was a note of exasperation in Fingon's voice.

"So nothing looked good, then?"

Fingon groaned. "They all looked good. But Dad isn't satisfied with new-he wants new and a deal on it. Not so easy a combo." Fingon's shoulders slumped. "He likes to haggle. It drives Mom crazy-he does it everywhere, all the time. When we're on vacation, with appliance purchases, home maintenance, everything. It never bothered me much-well, it did when I was a kid-we could never get through the street markets in Alqualondë without Dad trying to drive a bargain for something. But it drove me mad today-I just want a car, any car."

Maedhros laughed, his fingers tightening on Fingon's affectionately. "My Dad's the same way. I think he just enjoys the process." His face grew more serious. "Not just any car, Fingon. The roads to Formenos and around the lake get ugly in the snow. You've seen that with me. I want you in something safe, something with all-wheel drive, a car that handles well in all kinds of weather." He squeezed Fingon's hand again for emphasis.

"This kind of protective Maedhros I like," Fingon said.

Maedhros looked puzzled. "What do you mean? I'm just being sensible."

Fingon smiled. "Fine then. I love sensible, protective Maedhros." He rubbed his thumb over the top of Maedhros' hand. "I'll tell Dad I want the Subaru then. He can negotiate the details to his heart's content, since he's bound and determined to do so." He leaned back, resting his head against the leather booth as his eyes drifted over the restaurant. "This place is new. I didn't even know it was here."

"Tyelko and Maglor found it this morning and mentioned it. It's close to your parent's place so it seemed like a good idea."

They put their order in when the waitress came and Fingon laughed at Maedhros' story of Maglor and Tyelko walking back home in the cold, too full of food to run back.

"So how was your night?" Fingon asked. "Usual brotherly chaos?"

"Something like that," Maedhros said but Fingon had caught his hesitation.

"You said there were some rough spots. What happened?" Fingon asked gently.

A troubled look briefly flashed across Maedhros' face but all he said was "You had some rough spots too, you said. You go first."

Fingon opened his mouth to argue but something about the set of Maedhros' jaw stopped him. All right, then. He would go first and leave nothing unsaid. Perhaps that would be the best way to encourage Maedhros to share what was bothering him.

"Family, you know. Close quarters, after living apart." He looked at Maedhros directly. "My Dad was quite curious to hear about you. I told him I knew you were acquainted."

"Ok," Maedhros said noncommittally.

Fingon continued, eyes on Maedhros to gauge his reaction. "He was more concerned about how your father was going to react to us seeing each other."

Maedhros' eyes widened. "Oh," he said, keeping his voice neutral.

Fingon met his gaze, his blue eyes steely now. "Stop it, Maedhros. This is me you're talking to. We need to be upfront about all of this because it affects us both, ok? I'm just telling you what Dad said."

Maedhros nodded. "Ok, so tell me."

Fingon drummed the fingers of his free hand on the table. "Dad was very reticent to say anything about meeting you before." Fingon shook his head. "Attorney-client privilege," he grumbled. "But he did admit he and your dad had been close, at one time, but have a pretty strained relationship now. That's why he was concerned about your father's reaction."

Maedhros withdrew his hand from Fingon's and dropped both his hands below the table, to his lap, where he could clench them unseen. "Did he object to us seeing each other? Did he ask you to break this off?"

Fingon's heart thumped. Careful now, he told himself. His father had suggested just that but he suspected Maedhros' reaction was due to a similar occurrence with his own father. Fingolfin had been persuaded to change his views. Fingon wondered if Fëanor had not.

"He was worried your father would object," Fingon said, reaching across the table to rest his open hand in front of Maedhros. "Did your father ask you to end it with me, Maedhros? Just tell me if he did. Please don't sugar coat it. I need to know."

The tension didn't leave Maedhros but his hand crept up from under the table to take Fingon's. "He didn't approve," Maedhros said slowly. "And initially, yes, he mentioned me breaking it off before it got too serious." He gave Fingon a half-hearted smile. "Too late for that, of course."

"What do you mean 'initially'?" Fingon asked.

"I said no when he said to break it off. I told him that you meant far too much to me. That I'd walk out on him before I'd ever leave you," Maedhros said.

A warm sensation rushed through Fingon at Maehdros' words but a sliver of apprehension too. His father had been right, Fingon thought. He had thought Fingolfin had been exaggerating, to make his point, but he hadn't been. He'd been right.

"He doesn't even know me," Fingon murmured. "It's all about his falling out with Dad, isn't it?"

Maedhros' grip on his hand was almost painful now. "It is about that. But he's ok with it now, despite that. Dad fumed initially and blustered. But I wouldn't budge. I didn't know it until today but Maglor gave him a piece of his mind, after I spoke with Dad." The grip on Fingon's hand loosened slightly. "I've no doubt Mom talked some sense into him too. Dad apologized this morning. He admitted he overreacted." Maedhros tilted his head and his eyes crinkled at the corners as he continued. "He said he's looking forward to meeting you." Maedhros' smile was crooked but the hard edge in his gaze had faded.

"Great. Not stressing about that meeting at all," Fingon said tonelessly.

"There's no way he can't like you. Even if he tries not to," Maedhros said, his smile softening as he looked at Fingon.

Fingon wasn't so sure. His fingers on his free hand drummed a faster beat on the table and then his eyes widened in alarm. "What about Tyelko and Aredhel?"

"No worries," Maedhros assured him. "We're a package deal. He's backed off over the whole thing," Maedhros said. He reached his other hand out and captured Fingon's drumming fingers in his, lacing their hands together to still them. "It doesn't matter to me what he thinks or says. You matter." He leaned forward, across the table. "He's willing to back off-this is my life, my decision." Maedhros rubbed circles on the back of Fingon's hands. "But are you ok with your father's concerns?"

Fingon gaped at him. "Are you serious, Maedhros? My Dad accept this, accepts us. But if he didn't-it wouldn't change anything between us. We're in this together."

The arrival of the waitress with their food put a momentary pause on their conversation, which they resumed as she left.

"Mom wants to see you again," Fingon said, between bites of his omelette. "And Dad does too. He's really looking forward to it, you know? I promised to bring you by some time, before I start my internship." He looked up at Maedhros. "Is that ok?"

Maedhros put down his coffee cup. "Of course it's ok. I'd like to see them again too. Your father . . ." he paused, his gaze moving down to the table, his index finger swirling through the drops of water dotting the surface. "He was kind to me. When everything happened. I appreciate that." He looked up, his crooked smile making Fingon want to reach across the table to hug him close. Maedhros picked up his cup and took another sip of coffee before speaking again. "My Mom really wants to meet you and Aredhel too. Maybe over break you can come over or we can meet you somewhere, find a time for you to meet Mom and Dad. Strength in numbers, right?"

Fingon slumped onto the table. "Aredhel is being more of a problem than the parents at the moment."

"What do you mean?" Maedhros looked perplexed but then his face hardened. "Did Tyelko do something?" he asked. "Is that why Aredhel is upset?" The concern in his voice was evident.

"No, of course not! Any fool can see he's crazy about her. No, it's nothing to do with Tyelko." Fingon sighed. "It's me. Or to be more accurate-you and me."

"You and me?" Maedhros repeated. "I thought she was good with this," he muttered and then sat up abruptly, his expression closed off and hard. "It's about Saturday, isn't it? He closed his eyes. "I knew they wouldn't think I was safe for you," he said.

"Maedhros," Fingon said. "Look at me."

Maehdros opened his eyes, the anguish evident again.

"Maedhros. She's just worried. She doesn't understand." Fingon ran a hand through his hair as he tried to sort out his words. "Turgon's not the issue-he's taking it in stride and not worried about it. But Aredhel. Aredhel's different." He frowned and clasped his hands together in his lap. "She's had some rough times with relationships and that's made her wary. I haven't told her anything about . . . about your past. I didn't feel it was my place to. You put your trust in me by telling me and I'm not about to violate that trust."

"She thinks I'll hurt you, doesn't she?"

"Maedhros," Fingon said again, a sterner tone to his voice. "She worried about that, yes, I can't deny it." A frustrated look came over him. "It irritates me no end that she won't take my word that we've got it under control."

"I don't know that I'd go so far as to say we've got it under control," Maedhros said gently. "It's not something that's going to go away so easily."

"But we have a plan for dealing with it. And it's worked so far," Fingon stated.

"Fingon, think about it. What would you think, if you were in her position?" Maedhros countered. "It's obvious she cares about you too much to keep quiet about her concerns. I can't fault her-I would do the same, if it were one of my brothers."

"She may care about me but she's not listening to me when I talk to her. I wish . . . I wish I could. . . " Fingon stopped himself. It wasn't fair to ask that of Maedhros.

Maedhros knew without him asking. "It's ok if you tell her. I don't mind. Perhaps I would have, a few weeks ago." He pushed his plate aside and reached out to Fingon again, taking his hand. "You can tell her. As much or as little as you want. Whatever works for you. Whatever you feel you need to share."

"You sure?" Fingon asked. "I don't want to have to make you do this, just because Aredhel's bothered." He chewed his bottom lip and then spoke again. "She had a relationship that wasn't good. The guy was super controlling-had to know where she was all the time, didn't trust her, didn't like her talking to other guys or hanging out with her friends. She was still in high school at the time. They finally broke up and he was awful then too-threatening, stalking her on social media, following her around at school, showing up places she was at, texting her day and night."

"I'm so sorry," Maedhros said. "You don't have to tell me this, really you don't. I get why she's worried."

"No, I want you to know. I think you deserve to know, if I'm going to tell her about you," Fingon said. "Turgon finally got the whole story out of her one weekend he was home. He told Dad about it."

Fingon frowned. "I still feel bad that I didn't even realize something was going on with her. We were always so close but I was so preoccupied with the start of my Master's program . . . I just wasn't around for her." He shook his head. "Dad was furious. He made it clear to the guy's parents he would take legal action if it didn't stop and that ended it. But it's made her wary." He shrugged. "And I can't say I blame her." Fingon leaned his head on his hand. "I'm actually surprised at how taken with Tyelko she is. She's been pretty hesitant to seriously date anyone since then. But maybe it's just that he's so different from that other guy . . ."

"Thanks for telling me, Fingon. I'm so sorry she had that happen to her." Maedhros looked disconcerted. "Did she say if she'd told Tyelko about it?"

"I don't think she has. At least she hasn't said anything. Why?"

"He's had some tough relationships also. He would totally be sympathetic with this but I think it would be a good idea if he knew. As you said, it's affected her relationships." Maedhros exhaled. "I don't know if you realize how much he likes her. He's hard to read, because he's so brash and confident, making jokes and acting the way he does. But Tyelko feels things very deeply. If she's looking for something totally casual it's best if Tyelko knows that upfront."

Fingon looked startled. "I don't think she's looking for something casual. But you're right-it will lead to problems if they're not on the same page." He nodded his head. "If I'm going to talk to her about you then it may be a good idea to mention Tyelko and let her know she needs to be a bit more upfront about her past and where they're headed. For both their sakes."

"I think that would be a good idea," Maedhros said.

"Thanks for giving me clearance to talk to her. I know it will put her mind at ease."

"You think?" Maedhros said. "I don't know that I sound any less alarming when you know the back story. I'm still damaged goods."

"You aren't damaged goods," Fingon said, his voice tender and soft. "You're one of the strongest people I know. And the best thing that ever happened to me. You've had horrible things happen to you and you've kept on going. It's more than most people could handle." His fingers tightened on Maedhros' and a small smile came over his face. "I should probably follow your advice though."

"What do you mean?" Maedhros asked.

"About being on the same page. We've talked about it some but maybe I should just say it," Fingon's blue eyes were bright and his cheeks flushed as he spoke. "I am in this for the long haul. I love you, Maedhros and I can't imagine my life without you."

Maedhros grinned as he gripped Fingon's hand back. "We are definitely on the same page," he said. "Same paragraph, in fact."

Maedhros pulled into the driveway at his parents home, having dropped Fingon off already. He felt as if a weight had been lifted from him. He had dreaded telling Fingon about his conversation with Fëanor but it hadn't been that bad. Both of them had dealt with parental concerns and had resolved them, at least for now. Meeting the parents would be its own hurdle, likely a more challenging one for Fingon, Maedhros thought. But that would come after Christmas.

Christmas.

Shit. He had forgotten to check in with Erestor, to see if the book had arrived at Beleriand. He put the car in park and pulled out his phone to text his manager.

MAEDHROS: any sign of a package for me?

ERESTOR: I was going to text you before I closed for the night. Packages came today. I checked them all. It's the Safdie book you were waiting on, right?

MAEDHROS: That's the one. You got it?

ERESTOR: Yeah it's here. You want me to drop it off after work?

Maedhros started to text 'yes' but then he paused. The amusing hat he had bought for Fingon on a whim last week was still in Formenos, damn it. He had been so sure he would be back there to pick up the book that he'd neglected to pack the hat with his things. He and Fingon hadn't really made Christmas plans. He had a present for Fingon, two in fact now, but he didn't want to just drop them off to him. He wanted it to be special, this first Christmas of theirs.

The book and the hat were both in Formenos. An idea started to coalesce in his mind and it brought a smile to his face.

MAEDHROS: No, I've got to run down to the house for something tomorrow. Why don't I pick it up from the store.

ERESTOR: Remember we close at noon tomorrow.

MAEDHROS: I know. I'm the one that sets the time, remember?

ERESTOR: Whatever. You forget things sometimes.

MAEDHROS: What?

ERESTOR: One of us is working right now. Gotta go. See you tomorrow.

This was not a conversation he wanted to have by text.

Maedhros dialed Fingon's number from his car, still parked in his parents driveway. It was a far quieter place than the house was likely to be,

"Hey," Fingon answered

"Hey " Maedhros replied, unaware of just how fond the expression on his face was.

"You miss the sound of my voice already?" Fingon teased. Maedhros could just imagine his amused expression.

He closed his eyes. "Not all I miss," Maedhros said.

Fingon groaned. "Are you even home yet? Why are we not making out in your car somewhere right now?"

Maedhros laughed. "Because we both have family commitments."

"Family commitments can go hang," Fingon said mutinously.

"Ok, I didn't call to get you all 'bah humbug' about the holiday," Maedhros said. "I know we're both going to be busy today and tomorrow. . . "

"Dad's taking me car shopping again tomorrow," Fingon said tonelessly.

"That's a good thing," Maedhros pointed out

"Spending Christmas Eve in a Subaru dealership haggling is not a good thing."

Maedhros snorted. "You won't be the one haggling. You'll be watching bad holiday cable TV in the waiting room while the sales guy makes a deal with your dad so he can get home to his own family. Good tactic there on your dad's part."

"You're so comforting" Fingon complained. "What are you calling about anyway?"

"Like I said, I know we'll be busy tomorrow and Christmas Day but I was wondering if you had plans for Thursday night?"

"I now have plans with you," Fingon said agreeably.

"Great. Are you ok coming out to Formenos? I thought we'd have more privacy out there-Maglor and Tyelko will be at my parents still," Maedhros made a mental note to make sure they would be-he was not above bribery.

"I like how this is sounding. Go on." Fingon said.

"Nothing very elaborate. I thought it would be nice to get some time ourselves, kind of our own Christmas celebration," Maedhros said.

"Our first Christmas together," Fingon said gently.

"Something like that," Maedhros agreed.

"I'd like that." Fingon said, smiling at the thought. "You're working, right?"

"Yes."

"Meet you at the store, then?" Fingon asked.

"If that's ok with you?"

"Of course it's ok. Are we staying there for the night?"

"If it's ok with you and you don't need to be home. . ." Maedhros said, a questioning lilt in his voice.

"I don't need to be home," Fingon answered decisively.

"All right then, it's a date." Fingon could hear the smile in Maedhros' tone.

"Yeah, it is."

thanks to Cheekybeak for reinforcing it should be Turgon who discovers Aredhel's questionable boyfriend situation. 

Also I am tired of spellcheck wanting to change Erestor to Erector. It's figured out all the other names-why not this one?!

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