I'll Be Yours If You'll Be Mine by NelyafinweFeanorion

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Chapter 42

Where the Silmarils finally make their appearance . . .

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The Day after Christmas: Formenos

Maedhros glanced at his watch. Just a few minutes before five. He was closing the store down a little earlier in the days between Christmas and New Year's. Fingon had texted when he left Tirion. The train should be arriving any minute.

He smiled as he thought about the train. Fingon had spent Christmas Eve morning at the car dealership, watching old movies in the waiting room-just as Maedhros had predicted. But he hadn't left with a car. Fingolfin had not been satisfied with the deal and had resorted to the age old trick of walking out, determined to extract a better offer. Maedhros could not say he was too surprised at that outcome. Fëanor would have done much the same.

He was alone in the store. No customers had come in the last half hour. Maedhros was powering down the computers when he heard the door chime. He looked up to see Fingon walk in, cheeks reddened from the wind and his hat askew, as it usually was. He couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"Hey," Fingon said, placing a large take-out bag on the countertop and moving behind the counter to tiptoe up and give him a chilly kiss. "Merry Day After Christmas."

Maedhros slid his arms around Fingon and dipped his head down for another kiss. "Mmm. Merry Day After Christmas to you too. You're freezing. I shouldn't have had you pick up dinner."

"Why not? It was on the way from the station," Fingon said, looking up at Maedhros. "But you should have let me pay for it. I got there and they said it was already paid up."

"My treat. I made you walk in the cold to pick it up after all. Talas' was closer but I didn't want you in a food coma tonight," Maedhros said with a grin.

"Then it was worth the walk. I have no intention of falling asleep anytime soon. It feels like forever since we've been together," Fingon said.

"Let me lock up and let's get back to the house," Maedhros said.

The roads were clear so Maedhros felt comfortable holding Fingon's hand for the drive. "Good Christmas then?" he asked.

"Yes. Good all around. You'll be gratified to know Turgon is looking far more human and Aredhel said to tell you she's sorry she's been a hag about the whole incident," Fingon said cheerfully.

"You spoke to her then?"

"Yes. We cleared the air. She felt bad for being so quick to judge, knowing her own history." Fingon squeezed Maedhros' hand. "Thanks for letting me be open with her."

"Thanks for giving me the strength to be," Maedhros said candidly. He rubbed his thumb on the back of Fingon's hand.

"She's out with Tyelko tonight."

"So I heard," Maedhros said. "Good thing. I didn't have to threaten or bribe him to stay away tonight."

Fingon laughed. "I would have offered to bribe him to stay away myself!" His face grew a little more serious as he turned to Maedhros. "I think she's going to open up a bit."

"That's good, right?" Maedhros asked, darting Fingon a glance.

Fingon nodded. "This isn't just a flirtation for her either. She really cares about Tyelko. She's young and obviously it's early in their relationship but she really has strong feelings for him." He grinned. "Who knew we'd be such good matchmakers?"

They walked into the house hand in hand, Maedhros carrying the food and Fingon carrying his backpack.

Fingon shrugged his coat off only to be met with a wide-eyed stare from Maedhros.

"What? You've never seen a Christmas sweater before?" Fingon asked, turning around so Maedhros could get the full effect.

"No, I have," Maedhros said, squinting at the electric blue nightmare covered with trees, snowflakes and misshapen reindeer that Fingon was proudly wearing. It was hideous but damn if it didn't make Fingon's blue eyes stand out even more than usual. It was ridiculously unfair that anyone could look this good in something as ugly as that sweater.

An alarming thought came to him. "Uh, you didn't buy that for yourself, did you?" Maedhros blurted out and then inwardly cursed himself.

"No, you blithering idiot, of course I didn't buy it for myself. What do you take me for? " Fingon narrowed his eyes at Maedhros. "You seriously thought I bought this monstrosity myself?"

Maedhros waved his hands in denial. "No, no. I just couldn't imagine who had given it to you. It's ghastly."

"Finrod got it for me, the first year we shared an apartment. He found it at some resale shop and thought he was so clever. I wear it every Christmas just to annoy everyone." His amused look faded and looked a little tentative. "I thought it would make you laugh."

"I'm sorry," Maedhros said. "I didn't mean to be rude. I just didn't expect to see you in such a hideous Christmas sweater." He reached out and stroked Fingon's cheek. "It's not your usual style."

"I would hope not!" Fingon retorted. He eyed Maedhros closely. "You look more stunned than amused. Is there an embarrassing Christmas sweater story lurking in your past?" Fingon teased.

Maedhros looked pained. "Tyelko bought an ugly holiday sweater for each of us a few years ago. As a joke. He got sweaters for my parents too. My father thought it was hilarious and my mother made us all wear them for a family photo." He turned his horrified face to Fingon. "It wouldn't have been that bad except she sent the photo out as our Christmas card the next year."

He should have expected that Fingon would roar in laughter at the visual.

"It's fine for you," Maedhros complained. "You can wear that monstrosity and still look stunning. I was stuck with a horrific Kelly green sweater with a gigantic inebriated looking reindeer on it. With a flashing red nose no less." He glared at Fingon, who was helplessly giggling.

"I'm sorry." Fingon said, trying to compose himself. "It's sounds awful."

Maedhros gave him an appraising look. "Maglor's played 'Santa Claus is coming to town' if you pushed Santa's nose."

That was it. Fingon literally howled.

"Needless to say someone pushed Santa's nose every few minutes." Maedhros started to laugh himself.

Fingon shifted closer and maneuvered himself into Maedhros' arms. "I'm sorry I laughed at you," he said, tucking a strand of Maedhros' hair behind his ear. "Do you still have that sweater?"

Maedhros' groaned. "It's at the house. Mom keeps hoping we'll wear them some Christmas morning. I think Maglor finally disabled the music on his." He looked down at Fingon fondly. "I don't mind this one." Maedhros said, running his hand lightly across the designs on Fingon's chest. "It brings out the color of your eyes."

It took a few moments for them to disengage themselves and make their way into the kitchen.

"Shall we just eat in here?" Maedhros asked as he set the take-out bag on the countertop.

"I don't care where we eat. I'm just glad we're here and alone," Fingon said, dropping his backpack on an empty kitchen chair. He moved to stand behind Maedhros and slid his arms around his waist, resting his head against Maedhros' back. "I've missed this."

"I've missed it too," Maedhros said, unpacking the containers of food onto the countertop. He turned to face Fingon. "I promise there will be plenty of time for us to spend together." He grinned down at Fingon. "I wanted to keep it as a surprise but I may as well tell you now-Maglor offered to work for me tomorrow so I've got the day off. Consider it his Christmas present to us."

Fingon's arms tightened around his waist. "I owe him. Big time."

"Let's eat," said Maedhros. "Then we can continue this by a fire in the library."

They didn't linger long over the Thai food Maedhros had ordered. "You want to take your backpack upstairs while I clean up?" Maedhros asked.

"No, I've got something in it for you," Fingon replied.

"Then stay in here for a minute, would you? So I can go start the fire."

"I can't come with you?" Fingon asked.

Maedhros looked a little bashful. "I'd rather you didn't just yet. I want to get the fire started and have it all ready when you go in there."

Fingon looked puzzled but nodded. "Is there something I should be expecting?"

"It's nothing really," Maedhros waved his hand. "Just humor me on this."

"Alright."

Fingon opened his backpack and slipped the envelope containing the Spamalot tickets out of the inner pocket and pulled out the slightly crushed gift bag containing the t-shirt he had bought Maedhros. He dropped the backpack on the chair and tried to be patient.

It wasn't long before Maedhros returned. He reached out a hand to Fingon and interlaced their fingers. "I know you like the library so I thought we could have our Christmas in there. It's where we always had the tree when Grandfather hosted." It was the first time that Fingon could recall Maedhros mentioning his grandfather without a look of regret.

Fingon followed Maedhros into the library, his eyes going wide at the sight of the roaring fire and brilliantly lit tree.

"You did this for me?" he asked.

Maedhros nodded, pulling Fingon a little closer.

"When did you even find the time today?" Fingon asked. "I thought you were working all day."

Maedhros gripped his fingers a little more tightly. "I came up on Tuesday morning to get it set up."

"I can't believe you went to the trouble, just for tonight. I don't even know what to say." He tugged at Maedhros until their lips met. "Thank you," he whispered.

"It is our first Christmas," Maedhros said, his silver eyes glinting with the reflected firelight. "I thought it should be special."

First Christmas. Fingon's chest felt warm at those words. First of many, he hoped.

"The first of many," he said, letting himself voice his thoughts out loud.

"I'd like that," Maedhros said.

Fingon moved closer to the tree, tugging Maedhros by their linked hands as he drew near to study the ornaments on it. "I've never seen a star like that before," he said, gesturing towards the eight-pointed star that sat proudly at the top of the tree.

Maedhros smiled. "It's one of a kind. My father made it years ago."

"He does metal work?" Fingon asked, leaning closer to the tree.

"He does a bit of everything," Maedhros laughed. "Metal work, glass, jewelry, carpentry, you name it. I don't think there is any craft he can't master."

"I thought he was an engineer," Fingon said.

"He is. But that doesn't keep him from exploring all kinds of other disciplines. If he finds something interests him he delves into it wholeheartedly." Maedhros shook his head. "It's why Mom made him build his workshop in the backyard-she didn't want it connected to the house and didn't want curious youngsters able to explore it at will. You never knew what Dad was working on."

Fingon caught sight of three luminous glass orbs hanging from the tree. "These his handiwork too?" he asked. "How do they glow like that? They aren't connected to the lights that I can see."

"I'm not sure how he did it. He took a glass blowing class years ago and made those but they've got some reflecting ability that makes them take the light around them but make it look like it's emanating from within them." Maedhros gazed at the delicate glass ornaments. "I don't know how he did it but he's never been able to make another set quite like this one."

"It's absolutely stunning, the whole thing, Maedhros."

Maedhros put his arm around Fingon's shoulders. "It turned out better than I expected. It's dark enough you can't see how I had to rig a support to keep the tree upright by anchoring it to the wall." He gave Fingon a wry look. "Sorry, kind of spoils the magic when I say things like that doesn't it?

"No, it just proves what an absolute dorky genius you are. A dorky genius I love," Fingon added, smiling up at Maedhros. "I hadn't noticed your fishing wire set up but I do see two presents under this tree. Should I assume they are for me? Or are they just decoys to make it look more festive?"

"No, of course they are for you." Maedhros bent down to pick up the small gift bag and larger wrapped book. "You're like a little kid," he laughed. "You should see your face."

"I love opening presents. And I love watching people open them." Fingon pulled Maedhros to the sofa and they sat down, each with presents on their lap. He offered the small gift bag he held in his hand to Maedhros. "This is just for fun, ok? There's a theme to it but this is just one part. The 'silly' part."

Maedhros pulled the tissue paper aside and pulled out a bright red t-shirt. He unfolded it and gave a shout of laughter. It was a Monty Python Ministry of Silly Walks t-shirt. "You meant the silly part literally, didn't you?" he asked, pulling his henley shirt over his head, giving Fingon a brief glimpse of his bare chest before he put the new t-shirt on. "I love it."

"It just reminded me of that night," Fingon said. "Our first date I guess?"

"I kind of like to think of our coffee date as our first date," Maedhros said, sliding his own gift bag towards Fingon.

The warm feeling came over Fingon again and he bent his head to peek into the bag on his lap. Like Maedhros had, he pushed aside the tissue paper and pulled out a blue and gold woolen hat.

"I noticed your hats never seem to stay on well and you're always cold. I thought this might keep you warmer," Maedhros said, a slight flush staining his cheeks.

Fingon put it on and pulled on the golden yarn braids to snug it on his head. Miraculously it stayed put and didn't ride up like his hats usually did. "I love it. It doesn't slide off my head like other hats do. It's snug and stays put, like a woolen helm."

"Just like that." Maedhros couldn't help but smile at the sight. Fingon's hair peeked out from under the edges of the hat but his ears were well covered and the golden braids contrasted against the raven of his hair. He was breathtaking.

"Ok, my turn again," Fingon said, handing over the envelope containing the tickets. "I told you there's a theme here."

Maedhros carefully opened the envelope and roared with laughter when he saw the Spamalot tickets. "I saw the billboards for this and thought how entertaining it would be to go. I can't believe you got us tickets."

"It's not til March but I'm sure it will be worth the wait," Fingon said.

Maedhros glanced down at the tickets, taking in the date stamped on them. His heart thumped in his chest. Fingon had bought tickets for something almost three months away, for the two of them. That, more than any words, showed a confidence in where they were going that made Maedhros' hands shake as he put the tickets back in the envelope. He had never expected this, when he had taken Fingon's book order months back, the day they first met. It was more than he could have hoped for. He steadied his hands and passed the wrapped book to Fingon.

"This is heavy," Fingon said, then smiled. "Hmm. I wonder if this handsome bookstore owner I'm dating bought me a book." He winked at Maedhros and then ripped the wrapping off the parcel.

His breath caught as he stared down at Safdie's magnum opus, the culmination of his career as an architect, all brought together in this massive art book. He looked up at Maedhros, a stunned expression on his face. "I can't believe you found this. I can't believe you got me this."

"Bookstore owners have ways of finding hard to find books. It served me well once, it seemed worth doing it again," Maedhros said. "Go ahead. Open it. I know you want to look at it."

Fingon looked torn. "I do want to look at it but tonight is our time together."

"Then let's look at it together," Maedhros said amiably. "I tried to peek at it when I picked it up at Beleriand yesterday but Erestor growled at me to stop getting fingerprints on it and whisked it away before I got a good look at it."

Fingon pulled the hat of his head and slid closer to Maedhros on the sofa; he opened the book on both their laps, spending the next bit of time slowly turning the pages, savoring the images he saw there.

He closed it reverently a short while later, carefully placing it on the table in front of him. He pulled his feet up under him and rested his head on Maedhros' shoulder, feeling an arm curve around his shoulders to pull him even closer. Fingon felt so content as he slid his arm across Maedhros and gazed at the twinkling lights of the tree in front of them. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you for making tonight perfect."

"It's early still," Maedhros said.

"It's still perfect," Fingon said. "Everything about it." He felt Maedhros' lips brush his hair and he settled into the warmth of the body next to him.

"If you had asked me, that day you first walked into the bookstore, if I could ever envision a night like tonight-I would have said no. Where I was then-something like this didn't seem possible," Maedhros said.

"I would have said the same. I was such a complete dork that day. I could barely string a sentence together. And I was just as bad the next time. I still can't believe you asked me to coffee."

"I can't believe it myself," Maedhros said. "I'm not usually like that," he confessed. He ran his fingers lightly over Fingon's shoulder as he gathered his thoughts and tried to piece together what he wanted to say. "It had been a long time since I'd felt even a spark of interest in anyone. And then you came in that day and took my breath away." He breathed a kiss in Fingon's hair again before continuing. "I was intrigued by you and attracted to you. It made me bold the second time you came to the store. I thought I'd probably never see you again so what was the harm in being more forward? If you were interested too then maybe we could have something fun for the short term."

Fingon snorted.

"It's no reflection on you," Maedhros continued. "It was all me. I told you-if I did do anything it was a short lived, casual, no commitment kind of thing. I wasn't capable of handling more than that. Until you." He exhaled and leaned his head on the back of the sofa. "It changed that night we went to Nevrast. It just felt right, you know, like something clicked into place. But it scared me too, when I realized that. Because I knew I couldn't follow through and as much as I liked you I had too much emotional baggage to be able to take the next step."

"I wondered what was going on, you know," Fingon said. "You seemed interested, really interested but then when I gave you signs I was interested in moving forward you seeemed to pull back." He lifted his head to look at Maedhros. "But I wasn't making it easy on you either. Finrod kept telling me I was sending mixed signals-inviting you up but moaning about how busy I was. It wasn't intentional, not really."

"I couldn't pull back though," Maedhros said. "I didn't want to pull you away from your work but I didn't want to stop seeing you either, even if I didn't have the courage to be honest with you and try to move forward."

"You had a very good reason to be apprehensive and I just bulldozed over that and made you feel bad," Fingon said. "It was a surprise to me how much I wanted it though. I've told you-I never shied away from short term and casual but I wasn't comfortable with anything more than that." He looked up at Maedhros. "I hadn't really thought about why-it just seemed easy to blame it on being busy and not feeling like I had the time to commit to something. But I don't think that was it, really."

"You didn't make me feel bad-I managed to do that to myself. I think what scared me the most was that the attraction went far beyond just the physical side with you. I couldn't pull it back to just physical-casual sex is one thing but with you I felt a connection that transcended that. It was new and unexpected and I couldn't keep those feelings separate." Maedhros had his eyes closed, his fingers still gently stroking Fingon's shoulder.

"I'm very lucky you went away to that wedding or I'd never have known how you really felt," Fingon said.

Maedhros opened his eyes and turned his head to look at him. "You have no idea how confused I was when you came to the store and suddenly you were confident and committed to moving forward. I didn't know what to think."

"We really need to stay focused on the communication. It takes my breath away to think how close we could have come to walking away from this," Fingon said.

Maedhros shivered. "I don't even want to think about it."

"I love you, Maedhros. I haven't felt that about anyone before. I'm willing to do whatever I have to, to make this work." Fingon grinned up at him. "Even meeting your father."

Maedhros groaned. "You'll have to meet him eventually. I don't think it will be that bad though because once he meets you there's no way he isn't going to like you."

"I don't quite share your confidence. But I'll do what I have to do because this is worth facing even the wrath of Fëanor."

"Why are we talking about my father?" Maehdros asked. "I can think of much less forbidding topics."

"Like what?" Fingon asked.

"Like how are we going to spend our day tomorrow? I don't have to work. Do you have to be back in Tirion for any reason?"

"Not that I know of. I can think of a few ways to spend our day but they don't really involve getting out of bed, let alone leaving the house," Fingon raised an eyebrow at him.

"We'll have to get out of bed sometime," Maedhros said.

"Spoilsport."

"We're wasting a romantic Christmas tree and fire right now," Maedhros pointed out.

"What are you suggesting?" Fingon asked. His answer came as Maedhros' lips covered his own and a hand snaked its way into his hair. Fingon shifted so as to reach Maedhros more comfortably. Maedhros reclined into the far end of the sofa and Fingon draped himself over his chest, their mouths intermittently meeting to share warm kisses and heated breaths.

"I love you, my Maitimo," Fingon murmured as he dropped his head onto Maedhros' chest.

"I love you, my Kanó," came the soft reply as Maedhros wrapped his arms around him.

They watched the fire burn down, content in each other's arms.