Longing for lost love by hugesilmfan

Maedhros sat about his bedroom’s balcony, his red hair bound only by a little locket that struggled to hold the hair out of his face. He was looking to the stars with his bright grey eyes, remembering…Maglor knew best that expression about his face, he of all others, except Fingon (on some matters), knew his brother as some part of himself. He understood his pain and longing. 

“You keep thinking on her, don’t you, toron*?” – asked Maglor making his brother aware of his presence. 

Maedhros didn’t look at him, but replied- “I do, toron, as you well know”- his voice sounded harsh, he had not spoken in a while.

 “I see you like this so often Nelyo, I’m starting to worry…..but I will never know what is that you really ponder with such expression” – said Maglor sadly 

“I think of everything toron, every moment spent with her, how she looked at me, her touch, her laughter……but what brings pain to mi mind is how I left her; I think of this…” - he said showing his remaining hand clutched in a fist, and Maglor could see it relax until he showed one simple golden ring. 

“Your ring.....”- Maglor whispered sadly, he knew how much his brother loved her and had wanted to marry her, until the oath came between them. 

“Yes” – he didn’t need to say anything, for his brother, whom he loved, knew him well and was aware of his suffering.

He looked to the sky again and told Maglor:

 “Usually what I remember the most are the first days I spent with her”

Chapter End Notes

* toron = brother according to "english to quenya translations" from the council of elrond

ill be writting more soon i hope but i've been busy please ( again ) review!!!

Maitimo rode second to his mother. At his side rode Macalaure, his beloved brother.

"I'm exited"-said Macalaure-"we haven't seen grandfather Mahtan for a long while".

"A very long while, I should say"-replied Maitimo

"Hurry my sons, we do not want to be caught up here at the mingling of the lights, do we?" said Nerdanel.

"NO AMIL" said both elves as a chorus.Finally after a whole day on horseback they reached the dwellings of the aulenduri, where Mahtan worked and lived. As they approached the entrance they saw Mahtan walking towards them with radiant expression.

"Younglings! I've been waiting for you"- he said, happiness all around his face. He hugged them so tight that they could barely move."Hello father" said a happy Nerdanel.

"My daughter! Let’s get inside so you three can tell me everything."

They went into the house and talked to Mahtan a while, before they were called to dinner. They ate almost savagely, for the time on the road had made them hungry, but Maitimo's gaze was captured on an elleth he had never seen in all his years visiting Mahtan, he wondered who she was, but soon he turned his attention to his family.

After dinner they went through Mahtan's forge, while he showed them all the new projects and plans. But soon they grew tiered from travelling and went to their rooms.Maitimo changed clothes and submerged into bed, but soon realized he would not be able to sleep easily. As he could not see what kept him awake, he decided to sneak into the gardens and wait.

He walked silently through the house, barefoot, and went into the gardens. To Maitimo these gardens were one of the best places of the house, when he was still an elfling he had spent much time with his grandfather for they were very much alike in both personality an appearance, and his grandfather had brought him there, to those gardens, and played hide and seek with him until the mingling of the lights came and Nerdanel made them get in.

 He sat about his favorite tree, an old red oak, and stared at the mighty stars of Varda. Suddenly he heard a low song, almost like a whisper, and thought it could be Macalaure, but as he grew closer he saw an elleth lying on a tree. He recognized her as being the same elleth he’d seen at dinner.

“You’re a good singer”- he said in a shy whisper.

Becoming aware of his presence, she quickly stood up, blushing, he had been listening for a while already and she hadn’t noticed.

“Thank you ……my lord” – she replied her answer even shier than his had been.

“Please, I’m Maitimo, I will be grateful if you called me by my name”- he said. He was tiered of everyone calling him “My lord”, he preferred being called by his own name instead of some title anyone could have.

“Oh, I’m sorry …..Maitimo, my name is Annariel” –she still spoke shyly, but with more confidence in her.

“I’m pleased to meet you Annariel, how come I’ve never seen you here before?”

“It’s because I’ve been here just about a month ago”

“Oh….. I see…….” He said intrigued-“would you mind my company? I cannot sleep”

“No, not at all….Maitimo. Why can’t you sleep? If I may inquire”

“I really don’t know it always happens when I’m far from home… I guess I’m worried about my father and brothers.”…he was surprised with how easy it was speaking to her about what he felt, he never had a problem speaking to anyone, that he inherited from his father, but he was usually reserved when talking about his feelings and thoughts.

“Then you have nothing to worry about, they’ll probably be safely in bed by now….I guess” she said.

“I hope so”

After a moment of silence she started singing again, even softer than before he arrived, so only Maitimo could hear her. He took a moment to analyze her; she had the typical grey-blue eyes of the noldor, dark brown hair and was taller than most elleths, in fact she reached to his chin, what was an achievement even among noldorin elleths who were actually tall. But there was something different on her body; it was more curved than most noldorin elleths’, which made her even more beautiful.

But as she sang Maitimo grew sleepier and had to take his leave.

“I’m sorry to leave you, but I’m getting sleepy and don’t really want to sleep out here”-he said apologizing as he stood up.

“There is nothing to be sorry about, I was thinking to do the same”-she said still shy.

“Well, then let me take you back?”- He asked courteously.

“…..thank you…..”-she said blushing a bit.

 Maitimo accompanied her back to her room, which was in the opposite side of his at these dwellings, and gave her good night. He then walked back to his room happy of having met a new friend.

Maitimo accompanied her back to her room, which was in the opposite side of his at these dwellings, and gave her good night. He then walked back to his room happy of having met a new friend.

He wasn’t surprised to see Macalaure asleep in his bed; it was an old custom of his.  He fell asleep as his head touched his pillow and rested peacefully; at least until a close breathing woke him up, to see Macalaure inspecting his face closely as he slept.

“Cano let me get up…”- he said half asleep

“Where were you last night?”- said Macalaure with an inquisitive look, identical to Nerdanel’s.

“At the gardens………I couldn’t sleep….”- he said “Cano? … I met someone…”

“Mmm….someone? Who?”- He said with curiosity.

“An elleth, she’s called Annariel…”- he said

“Well, it looks like I’m going to be an uncle quite soon” – said Macalaure with a wide grin

“Oh, come on Cano! She’s just a friend…”- said an irritated Maitimo

“I’m sure she’s a friend, it’s just that I had never seen you talk that way before, you’ve even blushed a little”

“Did I? Well …I didn’t notice…”-said Maitimo ashamed

“Don’t worry toron, you’re with me ….you know you can tell me anything”-said Macalaure

“You talk like the big brother…”

“Well someone’s got to protect YOU as well…”

“I guess so…thanks”

“When do I meet my future sister?” – said Macalaure trying to appear serious

“I told you ….she’s just a FRIEND!”- said Maitimo warningly

“Alright, alright…. I was just joking… I’m glad for you”- said Macalaure

 “Well…I should bath, so go away…”

“See you later then…but really, I would want to meet your friend” –with these he left, leaving Maitimo alone.

Some time later Maitimo emerged from his bedroom already dressed and organized. He wore a light brown tunic, short sleeved, as it was midsummer. He went to look for Macalaure, and found him, eating breakfast at a little table in the outside. He took some bread and cheese for himself and sat down beside Macalaure.

“Hey sleeping beauty, you finally came down,” said Macalaure

“Hello Cano,” said Maitimo

“Grandfather wants to see us, toron” said Macalaure, after a moment of silence.

“Really? For what?” he replied, surprised by Mahtan’s request.

“I don’t know, he just told me to tell you he was looking for both of us,” said Macalaure, with that innocent expression of his.

After this Maitimo and Macalaure finished breakfast silently and went to Mahtan. They found their grandfather reunited with Nerdanel and, for Maitimo’s surprise, Annariel.

“Finally. We were waiting for you both, younglings,” said Mahtan with his always joyous tone.

“We were eating breakfast, grandfather” said Maitimo, still distracted by Annariel’s presence.

They sat down beside their mother, who looked curiously at Maitimo’s distracted stare, which was not typical of his.

“I see you two have already met,” said a somewhat delighted Nerdanel, noticing Annariel’s reaction to Maitimo’s stare.

“We have, my lady” said Annariel with her shy voice.

“We met yesterday at the gardens” said Maitimo

“Well then, I shall tell you both that we have decided to make Annariel your mother’s apprentice,” said Mahtan grinning at his grandchildren.

Macalaure then greeted Annariel kindly, as was his way, and Maitimo raised his eyebrows, showing a wide smile. He was determined not to show his surprise at the decision.

“You never told me you were a sculptress,” said Maitimo to Annariel, after they finished discussing traveling and other issues with Mahtan and Nerdanel.

“I never had the chance” she said, now more relaxed than before.

They walked through the outside of the house, talking and joking. Maitimo was not sure why, but he talked with her as intimately as with Fingon or Macalaure, or any of his family. But she didn’t mind, instead, she returned his intimacy when talking to him.

She did not look shy with him anymore, as they spent the next days together, talking; Maitimo even showed her a secret spot on the outsides, he had discovered it years before, and went there whenever he wished solitude at these dwellings. It was a clear place in the nearby woods; it was surrounded by trees and was a great spot to see the stars. They spent much of their time in this place, staying together, until the mingling of the lights came and they went back to the house and their respective rooms.

Chapter End Notes

hope you liked it!! please review and critic. nothing else to say.

Eventually, the time to go home came for the three feanorians, and now of course, Annariel. They gave farewell to Mahtan and rode to tirion.  They camped soon after the mingling of the lights. Maitimo and Macalaure where left in charge of the cooking, which Maitimo loved to do, but Macalaure, well he was something else…

To Maitimo, Annariel seemed to grow tense with every step they went forward, so he decided to talk to her, and see what bothered her.

“What troubles you?” said Maitimo

“I don’t know how they’ll receive me, at your home. …I’m scared” she replied quietly.

“Well, my brothers can be very annoying at times, but you eventually grow to like them. Especially when you have, practically, raised four of them and have two baby brothers as the twins.” Joked Maitimo

Annariel’s reply was disbelief, and after a while, laughter.

“I think it’s going to be interesting” said Annariel

“It will, for sure,” replied Maitimo

They slept peacefully and departed early in the morning.

As they approached their house, the brothers rode faster, leaving both women behind, chattering peacefully, until they heard enormous amounts of shouting and saw Maitimo and Macalaure surrounded by their brothers.

As soon as they saw both of them, Nerdanel and Annariel, the brothers ran to embrace their mother and, off course, to meet the new girl, out of curiosity.  Hearing the scandal, Feanaro rushed out of the forge to greet them, he was expectant about the new apprentice Nerdanel had told him about in her letters. He kissed his elder sons and off course his wife; then he moved on to greet Annariel.

“Lady, it’s a pleasure to meet you….I’m feanaro,” he said, ever so charismatic.

“The pleasure is mine, my lord feanaro….I’m Annariel” she said, somewhat shy.

“Please, just Feanaro” he said a bit irritated.

“Off course” she answered.

“I’m ambarussa” said both twins out loud.

“Tyelkormo,” said turko simply.

“I’m Curufinwe,” said Atarinke

“And that is Carnistir,” said Maitimo suddenly, hugging his dark brother.

“Hello” said Carnistir dryly.

“I think we should get inside, so we can have supper,” said Nerdanel teasingly.

Feanaro and Curufinwe prepared that day’s meal, which all enjoyed. The amabarussa were making a point to show Annariel their love for hunting, conversation tyelkormo joined joyful; carnistir said few words as usual, Macalaure sat besides his wife, talking to her in a low voice so only she could hear him; and Nerdanel and Maitimo laughed at how annoying could the amabarussa become when treating the hunter’s theme, and how well was Annariel managing to get into the family.

After dinner, as usual, Macalaure sang for his family, inviting them to the garden, where they leaned on the grass, under the veiled ceiling of stars.

 Nerdanel and Feanaro leaned together holding one ambarussa each. Tyelkormo and Curufinwe where beside each other, Curufinwe holding little tyelperinquar, as his wife was out visiting her family. Carnistir sat beside a tree, alone, as usual, but not far away was Annariel leaning on a small orange tree that topped over her head by little.Seeing her alone Maitimo chose to sat beside her, as Carnistir’s loneliness and wish for solitude warned him to do.

“You have an extraordinary family,” she said. She had stopped any kind of shyness around him some time ago, though she still grew tense whenever his nearness was unexpected, something Maitimo thought strange, for it was not his purpose to make her uncomfortable.

“yes…..I find it hard, to imagine my life without them” he replied looking into her eyes, which caused her an unexpected shiver, though she was able to suppress it before he was aware of it, a task hard to accomplish with Maitimo’s experience.

“Do you have any other siblings” he asked suddenly, for he had noticed her to be somehow uncomfortable with his stare, and he did not wish that, whatever the reason.

“Well, yes, I have an older sister” she said, grateful for his “mercy”.

She bent over the roses near her, and, with a swift movement carried one of the roses to her nose.

“I love roses….if they didn’t just die …” she sighed 

 “They’re beautiful” he said simply, but sincerely.

“I could live like this” she said in a whisper, hearing Macalaure’s beautiful song.

“You will”.