Findekáno the Valiant by oshun
Fanwork Notes
Fanwork Information
Summary: Response to Claudio/Darth Fingon's challenge to write how Fingon got the label of "the Valiant." Warnings: crack fic, language (somewhat crude), and could be read as foreshadowing slash (years down the road). Major Characters: Caranthir, Celegorm, Fëanor, Fingon, Maedhros Major Relationships: Genre: Humor Challenges: Ankle Biters, Family Matters Rating: Teens Warnings: Expletive Language This fanwork belongs to the series |
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Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 911 |
Posted on 8 June 2008 | Updated on 8 June 2008 |
This fanwork is complete. |
Chapter 1
I went for broke with this one: contains a cute little elfling, coarse language, and rude and callow youths behaving very badly.
Read Chapter 1
Celegorm = Tyelkormo, Turkafinwë
Caranthir = Carnistir
Findekáno knew it was a bad idea. But it was hot and he was bored. He followed Tyelkormo into his aunt and uncle's bedroom. Carnistir tagged along behind. Fëanáro's desk stood in front of the wide windows, much neater than the one in his office next to the forge. Only a few rolled scrolls and a small, stoppered glass vial were visible on its surface.
"Here it is." Tyelkormo picked up the vial filled with clear liquid and held it up triumphantly. "It'll burn through anything. Barely leaves a trace."
"What is it?" Carnistir asked, his mouth dropping open in what Findekáno thought of as his typical expression of stupefied innocence.
"Don't crowd me like that. It's caustic," Tyelkormo said.
"What's caustic?"
Findekáno ruffled Carnistir's hair. "Never mind. He means it will sting really badly if any of it touches your skin."
Maitimo appeared in the doorway, a book under one arm and his perfect eyebrows lifted in suspicion. "What are all of you doing in here? He'll kill you if you mess up anything on his desk."
"Don't worry. He showed me this stuff yesterday. It can make a sheet of parchment dissolve in an instant. Burns wood too, a lot slower. Really impressive." Tyelkormo smirked. "I know exactly what I'm doing."
"Oh, yeah. I just bet you do. Put it down and get out of there. I have to leave now."
After Maitimo left, Tyelkormo screwed up his face into a pinched grimace and said in a mincing, scolding tone, "Put it down and get out of there." He did put the vial down, however.
Then Carnistir pointed to a rolled-up scroll on the desk, "Oh, look. That's Aulë's seal. I know what Aulë's seal looks like."
"Leave it alone," Findekáno warned.
"Whoa," said Tyelkormo. "I better look at that. The seal's already been broken. He'll never know. He threatened last week to send me to study with Aulë if I didn't start applying myself."
"Could be worse," Findekáno said, cackling. "He should send you to study with Rúmil. That I would love to see. ‘A, duh, what's a sarat, sir?' or, more likely, ‘Why should I learn this stupid crap. My atto made a better set.' Heh. How about: ‘Oh, look, there's a bird. Is it time to eat yet?'"
Tyelkormo grabbed Findekáno in a neck hold and pinned him against the desk, cackling madly. "Say ‘uncle,' you skinny freak."
"How can I say anything when you are crushing my windpipe?" Findekáno said, appalled at the squeak in his voice.
"Well, you're talking now, aren't you? Nothing can keep your ugly mug shut. He-he-he!" Tyelkormo whinnied. "Say ‘uncle.'" He let go of Findekáno's neck and started tickling him. "Say ‘uncle.'"
"Hey, no fair. That's dirty fighting."
"Oh, no. Not dirty. Clever. Dirty is the way you look at my oldest brother. Ewww! Say ‘uncle,' freak."
In his peripheral vision, Findekáno saw Carnistir reach for the vial of fluid. "Stop. Uncle."
"Sissy!" Tyelkormo crowed, knocking into Carnistir, causing the boy to drop the vial, which splintered into a thousand pieces.
"Ow-ow-ouch! Amil! Atto! Atto!" Carnistir shrieked, shaking his hand wildly.
"Shut up, Carnistir," Tyelkormo said, picking up his sniffling brother. "It's not even a drop. Spit on it." A thin tendril of bluish smoke floated upwards from the desk.
"You spit on it. You spit on it for me," Carnistir screamed. Tyelkormo drooled on Carnistir's hand.
"Shit. You're dead now," Findekáno said. Fëanáro wouldn't send Tyelkormo to Aulë, or even Rúmil, more likely to the Halls of Mandos, he thought.
"What's going on in here?" Fëanáro burst into the room. He immediately lifted Carnistir and held him to his chest, examining the wounded hand. "It'll be all right, little one. What did your brother do to you this time?"
Apparently, Tyelkormo's saliva had helped. Carnistir's shrieks had turned to sobs.
"The cussic stuff got on me. It was an accident."
"Bloody buggering Aratar, Turkafinwë! Aulë's notes." Little more than a black stain remained on the desk where the scroll from Aulë had rested. "He sent me pages of comments on a theory I mentioned to him and I barely had a chance to glance at them yet."
Tyelkormo withered. It could be a very long summer. Findekáno thought for a moment. Fëanáro had a soft spot for him and was far less invested in how he turned out.
"I am so sorry, Uncle. It was an accident. I needed a pencil and I popped in here to take one from your desk." Findekáno cleared his throat and sighed. "I don't know . . . Maybe we could write Aulë and I could offer to re-copy his notes for you?"
"He should send us his original notes so that Turkafinwë could burn them again or use them to wipe his arse?" Fëanáro snarled, before lowering his voice. "I know you are lying. Findekáno. But I appreciate valor and loyalty to one's friends." He turned and walked out with Carnistir snuggled up against his neck. "Come on, little man, let's go fix your burn."
As soon as Fëanáro was out of hearing range, Tyelkormo started up again, grinning and slapping him on the back. "Oh-oh. Findekáno the Valiant! Hey, seriously, nice work, freak. What do you want? You name it. Want that sling shot I made yesterday, Findekáno the Valiant?"
(1) Comment by Rhapsody for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
Celegorm knows how to make - inadvertently - make history with naming Fingon the Valiant. :) Makes you wonder how he'd react ages after to Fingon's nick, especially in battle. Oh muses!
Re: (1) Comment by Rhapsody for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
Thanks for reading, Rhapsody. Pretty silly, but I had a lot of fun with it. It is AU to my own main story line, of course. (Fingon is modeled on my brother, Jerry, and Celegorm on my brother, Tom. Caranthir was inspired by any one of my younger siblings.)
(2) Comment by Dawn Felagund for Findekáno the Va... [Ch 1]
Very nice! I think that everyone who writes Fingon must, at some point, justify "the valiant." :) I like your version ... and I'm glad you went for broke on it. It's cute and funny and yet in-character at the same time.
Re: (2) Comment by Dawn Felagund for Findekáno the Va... [Ch 1]
Thanks, Dawn! You wrote several lovely, moving ones in AMC, so I could really only go for silly this time around. I got a kick out of writing it.
(3) Comment by Robinka for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
Very amusing and very nicely done! Thanks a lot for sharing. I like it very much :)
Re: (3) Comment by Robinka for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
Thank you for reading and commenting. I am thrilled to have amused you. It was fun to write. I turned my internal editor off and just had fun.
(4) Comment by Lethe for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
Lol, I enjoyed this, although I don't read humor, since I love wallowing in drama and angst, but still your handling and familial interaction comes across from your other stories. I really liked it :)
Re: (4) Comment by Lethe for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
Thank you so much! (Sorry I am late responding. I somehow originally missed this review.) I do greatly appreciate that you liked it as I am well aware of your more serious tastes.
(5) Comment by Lady MSM for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
Ha, I loved this. You write some really good stuff- and your sense of humor is great!
Re: (5) Comment by Lady MSM for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
Thank you. I am so glad you enjoyed it. I had a lot of fun writing it. Would probably not have done it without a push. (I can't even write tragedy without including humor, do I am happy when it is appreciated.)
(6) Comment by downtide for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
This is great. It would definitely take a good deal of valiance to face up to Feanaro in a bad mood.
Re: (6) Comment by downtide for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
Thanks for reading the silly thing! It's was fun to write.
(7) Comment by Erulisse for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
When did you write this one, Oshun? What a fun little tale with some of my favorite elves, of course :-)
- Erulisse (one L)
Re: (7) Comment by Erulisse for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
I wrote this about three or four years ago. I'm afraid to look-- if I read it, I'll want to start editing it. I am thrilled that you enjoyed it. I recall having fun with it at the time. I wrote a couple of stories pairing Celegorm and Fingon as wicked youthful co-conspirators in the days of their wanning childhood. They were still kids and close in age whilst Maglor and Maedhros were already young adults. I can imagine their generation of family members being terrified to face up to Feanor, but Fingon the Valiant could not be--he was know for his courage, right? And later Galadriel, of course, who in my verse is both vain and ballsy.
(8) Comment by Talullah for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
"I know exactly what I'm doing."
Famous last words! lol!
Cute elfling!Carnistir is not bad at all! And I just love Fëanor's swearing. What a dirty mouth!
Re: (8) Comment by Talullah for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
I got a new review on this story today and realized that you had read it and reviewed it nearly two years ago and I missed it! Thank you so very much.
(9) Comment by Gabriel for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
I think this fits Celegorm perfectly.
The one in the family who always gets himself into mischief and a whole world of trouble. Who can't seem to wrap his mind round the concept; 'No!' or 'Don't touch'
Fingon's so sweet and Celegorm really gives him a bit of a hard time. But at the same time I like seeing Celegorm in this way. It seems to suit him as a character.
The brother who has something akin to ADHD, won't listen, sit still and not much seems to phase him. A law unto himself in a sense.
Thank you for sharing this, I quite enjoyed it.
Re: (9) Comment by Gabriel for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
Thank you for reading! I love your comment. The way you interpret the story is exactly what I was aiming for! So happy you enjoyed it!
(10) Comment by Dilly for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
This Celegorm is awesome... They look like real teens !
Re: (10) Comment by Dilly for Findekáno the Valiant [Ch 1]
Thanks! I have known more than a few adolescents in my life. Nothing else like them.