Many Journeys by Elleth

Desideratum

Nerdanel, Fëanor, and letters from Formenos. 350 words, recycled from an older drabble I wrote ages ago.

Her father's house lay near the road from Formenos to Tirion.

Messengers often passed that way, and always she wished that it was not for her: Please, a message from Finwë to his other sons. But more often than not they wore her husband's colors and clattered over the cobblestoned yard to wait outside while she locked the study-door and read. They would not have to tarry long, she could soon promise, for in his letters he used few words, and each time the same. Her fingers trembled nonetheless.

You will return.
And that was all.

She gave the letter to the flames, unlocked the door, and smiled. She had long since learned to let it reach her eyes. "My only message to my husband is that I have none. He will know what to make of it."

The messengers departed and returned.

You will return.
That letter, too, fed the fire.

You will return.
That, too.

After that, years passed and no more letters came, though often the messengers would stop on the road, just briefly, and gaze at the house in wonder. They wore Finwë's colors now and passed out of sight into the city. There was no more reason to smile. The fire moved hungrily when she passed by, but she had no paper for it now.

At last, one morning, the half-missed sound of hooves on stone. She rushed outside in her festival gown, her wreath of copper-flowers knocked askew, and received the note. Her study-door remained unlocked as she read.

Nerdanel, please return. As the Valar have commanded me, I will be at the feast in the Halls of Manwë upon Taniquetil. If you will, beloved, I will await you there.

No tears came. Instead, she sat long in thought, the letter still in hand. A sudden cold fell on her, a dread she could not explain nor understand, and her fist tightened around the paper. Already arrayed for that very festival (though her dress was crumpled now), she rose and gazed outside. Golden and silver light played on her study windows --- faded, struggled, flickered --- and went out.

Darkness.

Chapter End Notes

desideratum dih-sid-uh-RAY-tum; -RAH-, noun;
plural desiderata:
Something desired or considered necessary.

Desideratum is from Latin desideratum, "a thing desired," from desiderare, "to desire."

(from www.dictionary.com)