For Love or Money by Lady MSM

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Nerdanel Explains her Dilemma

Chapter 5: Nerdanel Explains Her Dilemma

It’s been five days since I left home now. They’ve all been basically the same—I get up, I help Nerdanel with chores, I eat, I help Mahtan, I eat some more, I do more chores, I go to bed. You’d think I’d be bored, but I haven’t had a moment of free time since I got here. Harma’s made me some clothes, so I’m not constantly borrowing Mahtan’s, and though the new things still have that funny smell at least they fit.

Nerdanel and I are still on that fine line between hating each other and getting along. Honestly, there are a lot of things I like about her…she’s intelligent, and tough, and she says what she thinks. What I don’t like about her is that a lot of what she thinks seems to be that I’m an idiot, and so far she’s given me no reason for why she thinks this.

“And what are ye thinking about so intensely, Ernil?” asks Harma, smiling. “Ye’ve been staring at that wall for nearly ten minutes now!”

“Oh,” I say. “Sorry. Just…daydreaming, is all.”

“Well, if yer done, would ye mind going into town with Nerdanel and running a few errands for me? We’re in need of a few things from the butcher’s shop and that.”

“All right,” I say with a sigh. Will they ever run out of chores for me to do? And is it necessary for me to do them with Nerdanel all the time?

If Harma’s offended by my attitude, she doesn’t show it. “It’ll be good for ye to get to know the village, won’t it? Nerdanel can show ye around. I’m sure ye’ll have a good time.”

“Er…yes, I’m sure I will.”

“All right, Ernil, ye can stop being polite now,” says Nerdanel, entering with a basket in her hand. “Let’s just get going.”

Well. It’s good to see that she can read my mind.

“So how many people live in Fana’s Crossing, anyway?” I ask as we step out into the street.

“About two hundred. ‘Course, there’s more that live on the farms outside of town, but still, it’s small.”

“It must be nice, having such a close community like that,” I say thoughtfully.

Nerdanel looks at me sharply. “No. It’s not.”

“Why not?”

She sighs. “Because ye can’t make a single move in this town without someone watching it. Ye can’t do anything without the old gossips misinterpreting it seven different ways. I…” She looks at me and shakes her head. “It’s none of yer business. Come on, the butcher’s shop is right here. We need to get some more sausage.”

Needless to say, the prospect of delicious sausage immediately distracts me from what Nerdanel was saying.

“Ah, Nerdanel, me lovely rose!” cries the young man behind the counter as we enter. He’s thin and wiry, not too tall, and looks like he really needs to comb his hair. “And what can I do for ye today, milady?”

Nerdanel rolls her eyes. “A pound of sausage, please, Bril.”

“Anything for you, me dear.” He starts to wrap up the sausage, then frowns at me. “So who’s this?”

“I’m Ernil,” I say.

Bril nods curtly. “I’m Brilhen. Me da owns this store. So…yer not from around here.”

“No, I’m from Tirion. I’m studying with Nerdanel’s father.”

“I see.” He shakes his head. “And just when I thought this town had enough people. Has he been botherin’ ye at all?” he asks Nerdanel.

“No, Bril, he’s been fine,” says Nerdanel firmly.

“So…how do you and Nerdanel know each other?” I ask stupidly, hoping to smooth a bit of the tension.

“Nerdanel and I have been friends since we were children.” He briskly wraps up the sausage and places it in Nerdanel’s basket. “That’ll be six pennies, love.”

“Thank ye, Bril,” says Nerdanel, handing him the money. I’m sure I’m not imagining the tone of annoyance in her voice. “We’d best be on our way.” Brilhen nods and winks at her, and then scowls at me as we go.

“He’s certainly…interesting,” I say once we’re out the door. “Seems quite fond of you.”

“Like he said, we’ve been friends since we were children,” says Nerdanel tightly.

“Hmm. I wouldn’t call that being friendly, exactly. More like being a lovestruck suitor.”

“I do not,” she says, “want to talk about that.”

“Talk about what? I was just joking.”

“Never mind.”

“Nerdanel, you have to tell me what’s going on, otherwise I’m going to be bothering you about it for the rest of the time I’m here.”

“Yer incredibly nosy, has anyone ever told ye that?”

“Lots. Come on, we’re frenemies, at least, aren’t we? Or something.”

She laughs. “Frenemies? Did ye just make up that word now?”

“No, people have been using that word in Tirion for about three years now, and…hey, don’t try to change the subject. Tell me what’s going on with you and Brilliant Bril back there.”

There’s a brief silence, like she’s trying to figure out what to do, and then she finally nods. “All right. Let’s finish up our errands, and then we’ll go to the pub and get some cider and I’ll explain.”

Our other errands are fairly brief—we buy some bread and tea and pick up a pair of boots for Mahtan from the cobbler’s. Nerdanel doesn’t say a word about Bril, and I can tell she’s enjoying keeping me in suspense. Finally, we head into the Sheep and Fiddle and drop into a table in the corner. Regiel brings us each some cider and tells me to send my thanks to Mahtan for the frying pan. Once she’s gone, Nerdanel starts explaining.

“Well, like Bril said, he and I have been friends since we were children,” she begins. “He and I were like brother and sister until I was about sixteen. Then…he decided he wanted to marry me. And it’s been like this ever since.”

“I see. So that’s why he was calling you ‘love’ and acting all protective of you.”

“Exactly. He’s always trying to scare off the competition. But there isn’t any competition for him, not really.”

“So you want to marry him?” I ask, more than a little surprised. Bril doesn’t seem like Nerdanel’s type. Not that I know what her type is, but still…

“Not exactly,” she says with a sigh. “But the thing is…look, Ernil, I know I’m not particularly pretty and I know I’m too plainspoken and not charming enough. I don’t have much of a chance of finding a husband in this town and even once I come of age I’m not going to have the resources to go to Tirion. And Mam’s always telling me how Bril’s a nice boy with a good job and how I’ll learn to love him if I spend more time with him. So I feel like I owe it to Bril to at least try to fall in love with him. Sure and what other options do I have?”

“What?” I cry. I’m not sure why this makes me so angry, but it does. “Nerdanel, you’ve been friends with him for years! Don’t you think you’ve spent enough time with him by this point to know if you love him or not? You can’t make yourself like someone.” I think of Indis. “Trust me, I know.”

Nerdanel shakes her head. “It’s not that simple, Ernil. It never is.” She takes a drink of her cider and stares at the table for a few moments. “Anyway, we had better get going. Da and Mam will be wondering where we are.”

I want to say more about Bril, but every time I try to speak up on the way home Nerdanel changes the subject. Instead, she shows me a bit more around town and we wind up talking about the Harvest Festival in a few weeks that everyone in the village is preparing for. Apparently it’s the biggest event of the year in these parts, and even the people from the furthest-out farms come. Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll be able to stick around long enough to go.

Just before we reach the door, Nerdanel turns around.

“Listen, Ernil,” she says. “I don’t know why I’m telling ye this, since ye get on me nerves whenever I’m around ye and ye don’t deserve to know any of me business, but…I want to be a sculptor.”

“Really?” I reply eagerly, my surprise that she’s telling me this briefly overcome by my interest in what she’s saying. “That’s great! So you like making things too, eh?”

“That’s the first time I’ve gotten that response,” says Nerdanel, smiling. “Most people think that if I’m going to be learning a trade it should be something useful, like Da does. Not much call for it around these parts. That’s why I have to go to Tirion, if I want to actually do something with it.”

“Are you any good?”

She snorts. “Am I any good? I’ll show ye me workshop sometime, then ye can see for yerself.”

“You’re on.”

We head inside, both of us smiling. I know it’s too soon to hope, and I certainly don’t want to jinx it, but I think Nerdanel and I might be on our way to becoming friends. Just as long as we can avoid Bril.

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For Love or Money by Lady MSM

Nerdanel Explains her Dilemma