A Sense of History: Straight Road
The next in a series of articles about ships passing to and from the West, Simon uses "The Fall of Númenor" to attempt to arrive at Tolkien's reading of the exordium to "Beowulf."
Sorry it's taken me so long to post a new chapter! I've been insanely busy lately. Anyway, enjoy.
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Chapter 8: I Screw Up Completely, and Bril Helps
Nerdanel’s been spending more and more time with Bril lately. He’s been over for dinner a few times, and I see them together around town constantly. I guess she’s taking what I said in her workshop seriously.
I’ve got mixed feelings about the whole situation. On the one hand, Bril’s horribly annoying and I don’t think Nerdanel’s going to be able to make herself love him and I think she’s wasting her time. On the other hand, if she married him I probably wouldn’t have to see her so often.
Meanwhile, preparations for the festival continue. Ward Seven’s been meeting every other day now to devise strategies to beat Ward Two. Today’s meeting is at Angaring’s house, which is, coincidentally, connected to Bril’s house—their mothers are sisters and their families sort of live together (although, oddly, Bril’s family is in Ward Six. I asked Mahtan why this was and he said the line went right through the part where the two houses are connected). This might be tolerable if the house was three times the size it was. As it is, I’m stuck seeing Bril and hearing him say something horribly annoying (usually about Nerdanel) every ten minutes.
“All right, so let’s go over what we know about Ward Two,” says Ararast. “Their ward is the furthest south…”
“Wait a minute,” I say. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but…” I glance at Bril, who’s in the adjoining room and in complete earshot of our discussion. “Do we want people from Ward Six overhearing us?”
“Ah, Ward Six doesn’t care about our plans,” says Ararast. “They’re probably too busy comin’ up with their own ways to sabotage Ward Two. Anyway, Two’s ward captain is Soron, who owns the largest farm in the village, and their women are considerably more charming than ours. Don’t look at me like that, lads; it’s just the truth. Has anyone thought of anything?”
“What can we do, eh?” asks Marnil. “Sure and they’ve got twice the resources we do.”
“Ah, hogwash,” says Angaring. “We’ve got Mahtan, haven’t we? He’s worth twice any of those damn Ward Two rotters.” I grin when I see Mahtan straighten up a little in his seat next to me. “Me question is, why are we concentratin’ so hard on sabotaging Ward Two when we could be fixin’ up our own team so they’ll have no chance of beating us.”
“Because we know Ward Two won’t play clean,” says Lomelind (he’s Marnil’s son, and he doesn’t usually talk much). “They didn’t last year and they won’t this year. Let’s face it, playing clean isn’t the way to win this.”
“Well,” says Bril, walking in the room uninvited (again), “Nerdanel told me…”
That does it. “Shut up, Bril,” I snap. “We’re trying to have a discussion right now—one that you’re not even part of. Since when are you in Ward Seven? And shut up about Nerdanel!”
Bril looks confused. “What did I say?”
“You think you’re being clever, coming in here every ten minutes and dropping your new girlfriend’s name? Wake up, Bril, she doesn’t love you! She’s only spending any time with you because she’s given up on going to Tirion! Otherwise she’d never waste time talking to you.”
“Hey!” says Angaring angrily. “Don’t ye talk to me cousin that way!”
“Yer a fine one, tellin’ me what a girl I’ve known since childhood wants,” snaps Bril. “She couldn’t stand bein’ friends with ye for more than two days! “
“So? She was more honest with me in those two days than she’s ever been with you.”
“Even if she was, what does it matter? Maybe she’s changed her mind. Maybe she’s realized from hanging around ye that living in the city just makes ye angry and rude and boring!”
“All right, lads, that’s enough…” says Ararast, but neither of us listens to him.
Well, actually, it’s mostly me that doesn’t listen to him. Instead, I shove Bril backwards, causing him to trip over someone’s foot and fall flat on the floor. He doesn’t seem to be hurt, but everyone looks at me like they’re going to kill me anyway.
“I think,” Ararast says slowly, “that this meeting should be over.”
“Aye,” says Angaring. He scowls at me. “And Ernil, if ye ever push around another member of me family again, I’ll run ye out of town. Understand?”
“He understands, he understands,” says Mahtan, standing up. “Come on, Ernil. Sure and we’ve got to finish up the cart anyway.”
I expect him to lecture me on not following his advice and alienating the people I’m supposed to be making friends with on our way back to the house, but we walk home in silence. It seems like Mahtan’s finally given up on me.
When I head into the house, still fuming, Harma is in the kitchen, washing some dishes. She glances at me as I enter.
“So it looks like ye haven’t had much luck making new friends,” she remarks, her tone neutral.
“I haven’t,” I say. “They hate me. I thought I was making progress, and then everything just fell apart. I can’t understand why.”
“I think I might,” says Harma thoughtfully. “It’s because of Nerdanel.”
“Excuse me? I thought it was mostly because I yelled at Angaring’s cousin.”
“Aye, that’s probably part of it. But I know the reason ye don’t like Bril is because ye feel like he’s holding Nerdanel back.”
“Why would you think that?” I ask incredulously. Can Harma read minds now or something? If so, I’m in trouble.
Harma smiles. “We mothers are a pretty observant bunch. But don’t try to change the subject. Ye feel like ye know what’s best for Nerdanel’s future, and yer angry at Bril for spoiling it.”
“Well, I do think she’s making the wrong choice,” I admit. “But it’s not like I care what she says. She insulted me.”
“Sure and she was right, wasn’t she? About ye needing to understand where ye are a little more?”
“No, she wasn’t.”
“Aye, she was. Mahtan gave ye the exact same advice a few days later, remember? And ye followed it. So Nerdanel must have been right.”
“She wasn’t right. She practically bit my head off for no reason. And she may have had a point, but it’s not like it makes a difference now.”
“Doesn’t it? I thought ye might understand a little more why she’s hurt now. She feels like ye don’t have any respect for her.”
“Why should I have any respect for her at all?” I snap. “She’s the one who hated me as soon as she met me, for no reason at all.”
“She had a reason. Didn’t she tell ye that? Something about goin’ about with a sense of entitlement? Or did she just tell me that?”
“No, she explained that to me. But that was at least a week after she’d met me.” I sit back and fold my arms. “She’s the one who needs to apologize. I may be at fault, but I’m not as bad as her.”
Harma shakes her head. “That’s exactly what she said about yerself. Anyway, I give up. If ye both want to carry on yer silly little feud, that’s yer choice. But I expect ye to be civil to each other at me dinner table. And if this keeps up, ye may find yer welcome here worn out a bit sooner than ye’d like.”
“You’d throw me out because I don’t get along with your daughter?”
“Oh, of course I wouldn’t. Yer our guest, after all. But being stubborn and refusin’ to talk to a member of the family that’s sheltering ye doesn’t exactly make ye a pleasant one. And remember, Nerdanel’s me daughter. I’m far more likely to take her side than I am to take yers.”
“So what are you saying exactly?”
“I’m sayin’ that this may reach a point where ye want to leave,” says Harma. She smiles kindly. “Oh, don’t ye worry, Ernil. I’m sure Regiel will let ye stay at the inn if there’s any room—and if ye’ve got any money left. And if ye don’t, well, I’m sure yer family would love to see ye again. Ye’ve probably learned all ye can here anyway.” She goes back to the dishes. “Hadn’t ye better be doin’ yer evening chores?”
I get up, sort of in a state of shock. I can’t believe someone just threatened to throw me out. I especially can’t believe that it was kind, motherly Harma doing the threatening.
For a moment, I miss Tirion. Miss having a fireplace in my room on rainy days. Miss having friends who I’ve known for years and having everyone respect me. Miss my father.
But then I think of Indis, and my half-brothers, and the constant noise, and everyone constantly sucking up to me because I’m royalty. I think of how people here aren’t afraid of me, and how it’s a challenge here to actually earn people’s respect instead of being born with it. And Eru knows, I love a challenge.
I can’t leave. Not yet.
I’ll just have to think up a solution.
I close my eyes and concentrate. Let’s see, Ward Two, Ward Two…their captain has a big farm, they’re in the south, Ward Two, Ward Two, Ward Two! Why is it always them we’re hearing about?
What was it that Ararast said about Bril? Ah, Ward Six doesn’t care about our plans. They’re probably too busy comin’ up with their own ways to sabotage Ward Two.
I open my eyes and grin. If all the other teams are trying to sabotage Ward Two…well, we can use that, can’t we?
I may be arrogant, bad-tempered, stubborn, and snobbish, but no one ever said I’m not brilliant.
Yes, once again, Feanor punches or gets punched by someone. He never learns.