Rubicon as Sin by SonOfMandos

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Fanwork Notes

An ode to the 00s/early 10s badfic style.

Fanwork Information

Summary:

Celegorm, Curufin, Maedhros, Maglor, Caranthir and Finrod meet at Caranthir's on Maedhros' order because Finrod owns Celegorm and Curufin, and Maedhros is angry about it!! Finrod doesn't want to give Tyelko and Curvo away for free, that's stupid, he demands payment. Moryo has tons of money. Finrod desires more. SUSPENSE!!

Read the fic to know what happens!!!

Major Characters: Celegorm, Curufin, Finrod Felagund

Major Relationships:

Genre: Crackfic

Challenges:

Rating: Teens

Warnings:

Chapters: 1 Word Count: 901
Posted on 11 October 2022 Updated on 11 October 2022

This fanwork is complete.

Rubicon as Sin

Read Rubicon as Sin

Celegorm pov

We were reunited at Moryo’s (Thargelion) on order of Nelyo. I don’t know what Nelyod din’t want us to go at his place because that’d make more sense, considering he’s the one who said we should meet. Moryo wasnt very happy but he accepted because he secretly fears Nelyo will do something stupid if he doesn’t listen. Káno lives with Nelyo and keeps an eye on him. Káno has issues too, so he’s busier with his own emotions than with Nelyo’s. It’s very sad.

Since Curvo and I can’t move on our own, we were accompanied by Finrod and his men. It’s insulting. I know where my brother lives, thank you very much.

Nelyo heard what happened to Curvo and I. He’s mad at us that we went to Nargothrond. When Curvo told him he’d reject us if we went to Himring, Nelyo told him to shut up. Nelyo does that when Curvo is right. Curvo is right most of the time. He’s sometimes too much in his head and scheming and misses the point, but otherwise, he’s right.

Nelyo is angrier that Ingo owns us. I’m angry too. I wish I wasn’t scared of Mannish magic. Ingo threatened to torture Curvo and I with Mannish magic if we disobeyed him. Men don’t have magic in their souls like Elves do. Oromë explained me Secondborns can channel the magic of the Ainur O_o. Scary. Ingo is friends with everyone. It’ll bite him in the butt one day.

I was sure he slept with Curvo, that’s why he accepted we live in Nargothrond. Apparently, it’s not true, they don’t do anything. Curvo would love to. I know he thinks about Ingo when he jerks off and cleans his hand with his special handkerchief. The thing is that Curvo would kiss Moringotto’s spiky balls before he admits it. I know because I know him better than himself!! Can you imagine??

“I demand payment,” Findaráto said with his chanting, divine voice. His silver circlet pressed on his honeyed skin like delicate velvet. The brillance of the jewel shone as the stars of Elentári, interlocked with the pale gold of his hair, dancing veil of beauty. “They are mine. You can’t reclaim what is no longer under your possession. They became my property the moment they crossed the borders of my kingdom. They swore the Unbreakable Vow.”

“Cease the nonsense at once!” eructed Maitimo. He slammed his fist against Carnistir’s desk. His hair of flames cascaded on his shoulders. Fury tinted his cheeks, vermilion breath of passion. “My brothers and nephew are no cattle you can sell on the market!”

“You’re right. Cattle have value,” replied Findaráto, unbothered. His eyes had the madness and mystery of a seraph (A/N: I know seraphim don’t exist in Middle EArth but it’s a comparison ok). I saw the same gaze in his sister. Artanis resembled him. I don’t understand why atya never asked Ingo to have a strand of his hair. Actually, he has better hair than Artanis. And Laurëfindil has better hair than everyone—Lúthien don’t count.

“Fine,” grunted Carnistir. “How much do you want?”

“More than you can afford,” huffed Findaráto. He bit his lips, rubicon as sin, like when the devil bites poison.

Curvo appeared like he wanted to hang himself. I understand that I want to hang myself too for other reasons. The Oath sucks. We didn’t bring Tyelpë with us. HE stayed behind in Nargothrond to play with Huan, Faelivrin and Artaresto. Thats unfair! Ingo says Tyelpë is an adult who can look after himself.

SLAP!!!

Maitimo’s hand just slammed Ingoldo across the face!!!

Everyone was shocked!!! O__O x_x

(A/N: It hurt me sooo much too! My poor mewo meow blorbo barbie ugnnnh Finrod he’s like Lestat the vampire I just can’t haha mdr ptdr lol xd c’est pas possible j’te jure)

I was sur e Ingo would cry. He didn’t. Ingo is really cold and never cries. He’s darker than Mandos and thats super scary, like. He wasn’t like that before we killed his people at Alqualondë. He was a ray of sunshine, breaching through the darkness of the Void and Melkorian treachery.

Findaráto let a crimson drop of blood slide on his chin. He stared at Maitimo, defiant.

“I have seen wonders of the sea, Elves, Men and Dwarves alike. What I demand in return must held the wonders of Eä,” he pronounced darkly.

“Gold? Silver? Silk? Furs? Spices?” listed Carnistir. “I have all of those.”

“The silmarils,” said Curvo, who had been silent up to now. “He wants the silmarils.”

Makalaurë (I almost forgot he was here too oops! He was hidden behind the door. I saw him right away. I didn’t want to offend him so I pretended I didn’t notice) appeared from the dark (wow, he’s so dramatic xD).

“Silmarils are evil. He has no wish for them.”

“Then, what?!” yelled Maitimo, out of himself.

Findaráto grinned a predatory grin.

“Lúthien Tinúviel.”

 

***

Melkor: I am inevitable.

Aulë: And I am Iron Man.

Ooohhh snap

 

***

Huan pov

Woof.


Chapter End Notes

Tell me what you think!! :333 Pwease!!!

***

Writing something stupid is an art. But I do like the plot idea (Fëanorians on a mission to capture Lúthien to free Celegorm and Curufin from Finrod's claws).


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