A Rose By Any Other Name by pandemonium_213

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Fanwork Notes

MEFA 2011 Banner

Banner by Russandol.

Many thanks go out to my fellow skinks, geckos, and chameleons of the Lizard Council for their critique, encouragement and enthusiasm for what started as a response to the Back to Middle-earth Month 2011 prompt for March 8 — "write a story or poem or create a piece of artwork featuring kilts" — and burgeoned into a wild romp of a story, which is a six-chapter sequel to Flame of the Desert. But then, would one expect anything less than a wild romp from Gilfanon?  Special thanks to Vanimë for suggesting the title. 

Resources include Darth Fingon's handy Elvish name generator, The History of Middle-earth, The Book of Lost Tales 1 and 2.  Also see Darth's character biography of Gilfanon.

The setting is solidly Pandë!verse, i.e., an alternative history set within the framework of Tolkien's legendarium, and there are what might be construed as spoilers contained therein, for example, something of a synopsis of what will be occurring during the Fourth Age of the Pandë!verse,  However, as I see it, the journey of how these things come to be is the Real Story.

Fanwork Information

Summary:

A sequel to Flame of the Desert.

On a hot summer afternoon, Glorfindel visits Elrond at his estate in Kortirion Province of Tol Eressëa. Elrond's longtime friend brings word from Gilfanon: invitations to a party in celebration of the blooming of one of Gilfanon's favorite roses; the Vanyarin ambassador and his retinue have been invited as special guests.  Gilfanon also sends peculiar garments that he has specifically instructed Elrond and Glorfindel to wear.  Elrond is wary.  He remembers all too well that escapade with Gilfanon in the desert of Valinor, but his inner imp of adventure inspires him, and Elrond experiences a night to remember.

Cameo appearances by Erestor and Mablung.

A bit risqué, a little bawdy, so let's rate this Teen/PG13.

Now complete!  And illustrated!  Thanks a million-fold to Robinka (see Chapter 2) and Elf of Cave (see Chapter 6).

MEFA 2011 Winner.  First Place, Humor, General

 

Major Characters: Elrond, Erestor, Gilfanon, Glorfindel, Mablung, Original Character(s)

Major Relationships:

Genre: Humor

Challenges: B2MeM 2011

Rating: Teens

Warnings: Sexual Content (Mild)
Chapters: 6 Word Count: 21, 895
Posted on 5 May 2011 Updated on 2 June 2011

This fanwork is complete.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: An Invitation
Chapter 2: Beneath the Kilt
Chapter 3: Lo! The Violet!
Chapter 4: Enter the Dragon
Chapter 5: The Name of the Rose
Chapter 6: A Night to Remember

Comments

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Kilt! Ha!

No wonder Elrond was reluctant to say yes. After all, he suspected what might happen if his demon-imp (LOL!) woke up.

There are many things I already love about this story, including all the glimpses at the times after the War of the Ring and at the story of Laurefin's and Melamire's family.

I'm very much looking forward to reading more :) Thank you!

I'm glad you enjoyed just this first chapter, Binka.  I had a blast writing the story as a whole so just wait...

And thanks so very much for the comments and compliments.  It's very generous of you considering, uh, that Gilfanon and crew took time away from my beta-work!

You won't have to wait long.  I'll put up the remaining chapters over the next week or so.  I admit that I just let my imagination go wild.  And hey, who knows what Tol Eressëa and Aman were really like? 

I anticipate revisiting that scene on the beach in far more detail at some point in my future writing.

Thanks for having a read, H. :^)

 

This is one of the most hilarious, and inspirational at the same time, stories I've read, honestly. I haven't laughed as hard for a long time. I could almost see Elrond's shocked face when he noticed Cemenolor's incomplete garment. I giggled at this: Woods and meadows, villages and farms, all flew past Laurefin, Elrond and their hairy knees (...), and there were of course loads and loads more of such funny lines. Most of all, I LOVE (!!!) Melamire's idea of keeping the deer from destroying the gardens in Imladris. I fell from my chair! And even more so, I imagined Melian in her efforts to establish the famous Girdle, LMAO!!! (Not to mention that I have a small idea for another small, comic addition to your story. :D Which may find its way to your inbox some time next week).

This is indeed going to be a night to remember :D

Brilliant stuff! Thank you.

Another comic!  Oh, good, good, good!  Loved the first one. :^)  

I'm glad you're enjoying this!  And hang on to your hat.  There's more to come.  Also, I was off a bit regarding Mablung's appearance.  He'll arrive on the scene in Chapter 4. 

Thanks a million, Robinka, for reading and commenting both.

"Stars' mercy, Erestor! Are you trying to kill me?"

Well, I thought the same, almost that is, without "Erestor", hehehe. That line is a hoot! I actually think that Erestor stole the show in this chapter. Also, I find Istyanis Lenwindil most intriguing :) I'm certain you know why.

Then, the next part, oh man! What a match! :D Those scenes nearly burst out from the screen with energy. Elrond using deep arts to heal his injury had a somewhat disturbing touch to it.

Loved the mentions of Samaril and Melamire, especially that how she managed to escape from her father. And did I mention I loved Mablung...?

Great stuff! Thank you :D

Erestor definitely stole the show.  He handily did so while I was in the midst of writing this chapter!  I'm glad the hurling match worked!  I know next to nothing about hurling, but I tapped into my love of ice hockey in an attempt to capture the excitement of the game.

Re: Sámaril and Mélamírë -- those are bits of spoilers, but hopefully not too egregious.  Daddy Dearest wasn't there for her escape; he was off wrecking havoc in Eriador, and had entrusted her to one of his captains who interpreted the orders he was given in his own way.  Needless to say, the escape was quite unexpected, even from her part.

You might have mentioned that you loved Mablung. :^D

Thanks so much for reading and for commenting, Binka!

Awesome! I love how you poke fun at the Vanyar -- they appear a mixture of cheap (even trashy) and rich and exotic at the same time. But, under those layers of face powder and diplomacy there are old rifts that aren't easily disregarded.

And that was the entrance!

Great stuff!

 

PS. I'm so going to nominate this for this year's MEFAs if only I could figure out how to do it with their new website.

This couldn't end up differently, LOL!

First, Gilfanon with a Taniquetil-wig must have provided a hilarious view, a blatant provocation and a cathartic, sobering message too, as he was kind to explain later. I loved how he commented the events at the party, by the way, and his remark about women was priceless (*bows deeply*). One wise elf he is!

Also, I'm immensely intrigued by what Elrond related Laurefin concerning Sauron (exchaning letters and sharing a glass of whisky with Bilbo!). Most interesting ideas! :)

This was an awesome, very entertaining read in every aspect. Thank you tons for sharing!

Hi Pande, I'm reposting my Mefa review here at the source: 

This sequel to Pandemonium's fantastic "Flame of the Desert," is a marvelous tongue-in-cheek romp of a story in which Gilfanon of the House of One Hundred Chimneys once again combats the ennui of living in paradise by throwing an outrageous party, as only Pande could imagine it. So many fun details here: fashionable lays about violets,["Elrond had not imagined that one hundred and forty-four lengthy lays could be written about a single type of flower, but there it was."]a display of hairy knees,[“leave it to Laurefin to have good leg hair,”]not to mention discovering what elves wear under their kilts, a wild game of ohta paliso - rather like a vicious game of field hockey, pompous Vanyarin ambassadors with mile-high wigs, musical monkeys, bagpipes [“an invention of Melkor”] and a lewdly named rose, not to mention Gilfanon’s unforgettable entrance that causes a veritable donnybrook.

Pandë employs such vivid details that reading one of her stories is like a feast for the senses. In "A Rose" she entertains us with gilded carriages and fanciful chimneys, fragrant flowers and pungent athletes, effervescent punch, plates of delectable delicacies, gaudy blouses, and wild wigs. I quite enjoyed Gilfanon’s skewering of the pretentious and snobbish Lord Rilyazin, blessed be his dooms, and his entourage of Vanyarins. I certainly recommend this story for its wit, creativity, and Elrond and Glorfindel in kilts. Who could ask for more?

 

My MEFA 2011 review:

This is a real Laugh Out Loud piece, without doubt, but crammed with detailed insight into the life of the elves in Aman after all the battles have been won and all the foes defeated. What would life in paradise be without a little spark of joy, without people ready to challenge and provoke? The extremes Gilfanon goes to in order to entertain and shock people who, as immortals, must have seen most things, are just hilarious and must surely threaten the peace of Valinor. The kilt fashion, the Vanyarin hairstyles (I'll never ever forget the model of Taniquetil with wired eagles on Gilfanon's head), the hurling match, the rudely named rose bush variety, Glorfindel's hairy knees, they are all a giant riot framing the deep conflict between two very different groups of people: the ones that lived a sheltered, immutable life after the Darkening (and therefore never changed or, worse still, became entrenched and intolerant in their customs) and those who had to adapt to the harshness of Middle-earth and recurring war to ensure their own survival.

As imaginative as "Flame of the Desert" (of which "A Rose" is loosely a sequel), this story is what watching a colourful Valinor through a shattered distorting glass must feel like.

 

Aaaah, I've had this tab open since Sunday in the wake of a glorious Elrond fic rec post, given current life circumstances haven't been able to get to my computer since then, but THIS IS DELIGHTFUL. I love your Elrond very much, and very delighted to see Mélamírë here as well. And Zopyrus and I were literally JUST speculating about the possibility of Elves surfing, so this was very fitting in that regard too! :D Looking forward to reading the rest at some point soon...

And a very belated but nonetheless DELIGHTED thank you for reading this!  One of these years, I'd like to follow the 3 fellahs to the slopes of Taniquetil.  Maybe there will be a weird Valar-encounter there, the Pandë!verse Valar being more akin to benign forms of Lovecraftian creatures than thinly disguised saints. :^D

My favorite line, by far, was: "So it was that Elrond — wise Elrond, healer Elrond, kind as summer Elrond — hauled off and slammed his fist into Rilyazin's powdered jaw."

Haha! This was definitely fun to read, and had a lot of interesting things going on under the surface. I read this out of order from your other stories, so I might have to come re-read it once I've caught up...

I'm fascinated by the idea that mortality = wild type gene sequence and that this can be altered via the reincarnation process. It's a neat concept, and with very interesting (and horrifying) implications! 

 

Thanks so much, Athrabeth, for jumping into this wild romp in the Pandë!verse — and out of order even! :^D   I have to confess that writing in Elrond's POV intimidates me, in part because he is such an iconic character (and I wanted to show that he is not so staid in this story and in Flame of the Desert) and in part because other writers have portrayed him so well, far better than I have ever done.  However, no guts, no glory, I guess.

The Pandë!verse is informed strongly by science (my own bias and counterpoint to Tolkien's rejection of technological progress).  A few years ago, a little group of us were yammering about unions between the Firstborn and mortal Men (I do not use the phrase "elves and humans" because elves *are* humans) and Gandalf's Apprentice pointed out that it seemed like Dior, Elwing, and Eärendil might have matured at a rate closer to mortals than elves.  She based this on chronologies (in the HoMe, I think) which noted that Dior wed Nimloth when he was in his 20s/30s.  Eärendil and Elwing were of similar age when they married.  If one is to put stock into elven aging as depicted in Laws and Customs of the Eldar (for what that is worth), then these folks married at a younger age than Elves, suggesting a more rapid maturation.  Of course, Tolkien has a footnote that contradicts his aging scheme depicted in LaCe but there you go.  At any rate, that made us conclude that mortality was the "default" setting, unless otherwise altered.  I just twisted that a bit more. :^)

Thanks again and my many-fold apologies for not replying sooner.  Your reviews are lovely, lovely gifts!

This story made me laugh plenty of times, especially Gilfanon's wig. That crowning glory, or possibly horror, sounds like the french court wigs at their worst squared. The eagles on wires just pushed it over the top.

Does Ingwe really wear that? How does anyone keep from laughing and why does he put up with the monstrosity? I hope he never has to wear it but on the most formal occasions. It sounds like an instant headache hat.

I know it's gauche to laugh at one's own work, but dang...Gilfanon slays me.  YES!  I was definitely inspired by the French court wigs of the mid-18th century.  I don't think anyone dare laugh at Ingwë's elaborate wig, but I think you're right - he probably only wears it during formal occasions when he must appear grand and a bit intimidating.

Thanks so much for having a read and commenting!  My apologies for the tardy reply.

Hiya, maeglin!  Thanks so much, and I'm delighted that you found this romp delightful.  I must admit I enjoyed writing the story, and every time I hear the Beastie Boys' (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party), a montage of Gilfanon's big to-do forms in my old noggin. :^D

Ah, The Lays of the Violet!  Although at face value, the inspiration may seem to have been derived from Angband, but more likely from the miasma drifting from an academic ivory tower. ;^) 

I'm hoping to revisit the adventures of Elrond, Glorfindel, and Gilfanon at some point in the future.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!