Searching and Searching by Elleth

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Fanwork Notes

The title was taken from Muriel Rukeyser's poem Searching/Not Searching.

Fanwork Information

Summary:

Both Nimrodel and Mithrellas are said in myth to have vanished without a trace, but that is not all there is to their story. Written for Astris at I Need My Fics 2014.

Major Characters: Amroth, Imrazor, Mithrellas, Nimrodel, Original Character(s)

Major Relationships:

Genre: General, Het, Slash/Femslash

Challenges:

Rating: Teens

Warnings:

Chapters: 1 Word Count: 6, 726
Posted on 15 September 2014 Updated on 15 September 2014

This fanwork is complete.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Comments

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Hello, I want to offer you my congratulations for this piece, is extremely well written. The style is evocative of beautiful images and drags you in making every single moment interesting and building a very nice tension that unravels nicely at the end. Besides I found the way the Lay of Nimrodel was introduced extremely elegant. There were many things that made this fic feel extremely 'realistic': (given the context obviously XD) the description of the storm's consequences, the human's reactions to their Prince's marriage and, last but not the least Mithrellas' feelings in regard to her children that, in my opinion felt extremely real, I loved how she couldn't avoid seeing them as mortals first of all.

On this note I must say I liked how every single character had his/her own reasons for acting as he or she did and each one of them was relatable. Besides I really liked how you managed to keep the atmospheres of the original material while depicting a love story between two females: brava! On a more personal note I liked seeing someone depicting different kinds of love since I find "Law and Customs of the Eldar" almost creepy in that regard (then again Nandor aren't Eldar, still..). 

Congratulations again.

Hi, and welcome to the SWG! :) Thank you for such a substantial review; this was a surprise to say the least, but a very lovely one!

I'm glad you found so many things to enjoy in the sory, and that the realism (which I personally don't feel is a contradiction when Middle-earth operates under the same basic tenets as our world) rings true for you. I was not originally going to include Imrazôr or Mithrellas' children at all, but they proved to be integral to her character at this point after all, even if they were mostly defined by their absence. Seeing how hard it is for Mithrellas to let go, their mortality did prove to be a constant grief that she was not very well able to deal with, so reading your review makes me doubly glad I did elucidate on this.

Thank you as well for the commentary on the characters. Characterization feels like one of those great weaknessnes that I'm never writing as well as I'd like, so hearing that it worked for you is a great encouragement, too. As Nimrodel and Mithrellas' love is concerned, I'm thoroughly disenchanted by the LaCE as well as fandom's tendency to apply it everywhere and to every cultural group when it's an in-world historical document applied to a very specific group of Elves. Indy wrote a great essay in response to that, if you're interested. As for the rest, let's just say that Tolkien's heteronormative-all-the-time vision of perfection... isn't for me, so I will be taking it with a mountain of salt, and offering my own fannish interpretation in return.

Thank you again!

Oh. Oh damn it. You've made me cry *wipes away tears*.

 

This story is absolute perfection ♥♥♥.

 

Reasons. Oh, reasons. First, Mithrellas. Mithrellas is lovely, and heartbreaking, and I can't imagine what it must have felt like for so many years, to be disconnected from everyone around her by her immortality. And then, of course, when the Elves arrive, her disconnection from them.

 

"Gilthaith’s tone made it clear that she was still counted among those they had lost."
This. This just broke my heart *sighs*. I confess that, even though Gilthain's distrust is understandable, I hate her. Just a little bit.

 

"Mithrellas swallowed a sigh that wanted out at the criticism weighing down her apparent praise, since neither the timber-yard nor Edhellond itself were hers to give, and her generosity was faulty at best."
I am flailing with nothing to say because I. Just. Asljdbfajebfajef

 

“I do love you,” she said softly. “More so because you understand my nature. More so because you took me to wife even knowing that Nimrodel was my first love, and remains first in my heart.”
I love Mithrellas' capacity to give, and love, here. ♥♥♥ And I love the writing here; pure perfection.

 

“I wager she thinks they’ve left her behind, and they have in a way, haven’t they? Like you. And now the last ship’s gone sailing into the Old West, and all the swans you’ll find are birds, not boats…”
Again, I don't even know what to say here, because this is pure, pure gold. (And also, the image of the fisherwoman being confused by a series of Elves is hilarious, especially when she asks whether Mithrellas wants to hail the boat West, too)

 

I love the idea that the song about Nimrodel in LotR was Mithrellas', which seems fitting.

“Indeed. Hearing his voice upriver, crying Nimrodel’s name… it was not until the Lady Galadriel came to us that she was able to placate him for a while - how, I do not know, and only for a while. And that was the least of the sorrows that came upon Lothlórien.”
More untold stories! I love these snatches, they're so very tantalizing.

 

I like Minalnitîr. I like him very much.

 

"“I promised that I would not, and I will hold to that promise until my heart’s breaking.” When he leaned forward to kiss her, she turned her head away, her throat suddenly too tight for words."

and
"“Sometimes,” Imrazôr said, “I forget what you are - not merely my wife, never merely. But you are also an Elf, and in ways forever beyond my understanding. Do not tell me when you leave, never even announce to me when the ship is ready. It may be beyond my heart’s breaking after all.”"
I. I. Damn. I love your Imrazôr (he is perfection, and a wonderful, wonderful husband, and I love that Mithrellas loves him too, in her own way, did I mention that?), and I am crying for him.

 

And, of course, I'm happy that Nimrodel and Mithrellas got their happy ending—but oh, so much pain first. So much pain.

 

This is such a lovely story, and I am so, so glad I found it ♥♥♥

Oh my goodness! When I saw that you'd reviewed this fic I was very happy, but it didn't prepare me for this much squeeing! :D ♥ So first of all, thank you so much! 

Mithrellas is very much in between everyone here - she's said her farewells to Lórien, she's lost Nimrodel, she married a human and has two mortal children without really belonging there, and the arrival of her former companions very much hammered this home for herself as well - I do think she was happy in Dol Amroth with Imrazôr (in my opinion a good man, without any derogatory implications in that term - it broke my heart writing him here, just a little), but there still was the idea of Nimrodel keeping her there. If not for her, I think she may have sailed (or tried to) much sooner, to be there in Aman when Nimrodel gets out of Mandos - thankfully that wasn't necessary! 

More untold stories! I love these snatches, they're so very tantalizing.

Their voices crying along the river actually is out of the books (LotR I think, during the Lothlórien chapters?), and while it's never explained what the sorrows were that came onto Lothlórien, that is an avenue to explore! :)

I like Minalnitîr. I like him very much.

Eee, thanks! She pretty much came out of nowhere and wanted to be in the story; I'm glad she worked for you! :D

I'm so happy you enjoyed it and found so many things to love, even with all the pain! ♥