Bringing Trouble to Barad-dur by Aiwen

Mistaken Identity and Other Confusion

Gil-galad looked back at the orcish guards who were milling around in confusion and staring at the very large puddle of dirty water currently flooding the hallway. "First we have orders about searching for an escaped prisoner, then I can't find them and you come down with different orders from the Great Eye to go and clean up this flood - just what are we supposed to be doing?" said an orc wearing a lieutenant's stripes.

"I don't get it," complained a rank-and-filer, and several more nodded, although those nearest the complainer backed away.

"If the Great Eye tells us to clean up the flood, we clean up the flood you idiots," said a very large orc with the rank tabs of a commander.

"But we don't know where the foul stuff is coming from," objected a smaller orc. "And if the prisoners get away it's your job to tell the Great Eye about it. He wanted to know about anything strange happening, remember? And surely somebody ought to go and check on the hostages. There are orders to kill them if anything strange happens, and this," he gestured at the flood, "is strange."

Gil-galad tensed. They'd already gotten the hostages away, but he wasn't sure if Celebrimbor had managed to get the rest of the prisoners to the underground chamber yet. It would be disastrous if they got caught with a group in the halls. He had to keep the orcs away for at least the next 20 minutes.

He eased open the hole in the damaged pipe a bit more, or that is what he tried to do. The rusty pipe crumbled, and water gushed everywhere, making it very obvious as to where the water was coming from.

"There," said the great orc, "you can see where it's coming from right now you idiots."

"Yes, but isn't it a bit suspicious..."

"It's a burst pipe, you stinking swine! They do that. We need a plumber, and unless you're volunteering to explain personally to Lord Zigur why we're standing here arguing I suggest you go and find one now!"

"Yes your ugliness," said the orc and ran off.

"Why you little chicken - I'll teach you proper respect for your betters later, just you wait. And the rest of you stop dawdling. Go on, or do all of you have your brains where you can sit on them? And you, short arms, go and find the switch to shut the water off!"

"But I don't know where -"

It took the orcs another half hour to sort themselves and the burst pipe out enough to remember the prisoners. By then, the prisoners were gone. Gil-galad stood back and watched as they ran hither and thither like headless chickens. Then they started blaming each other and things degenerated into a fist-and-knife fight. Gil-galad shook his head. Orcs really hadn't changed much in the past three thousand-odd years.

Meanwhile, down in the underground chamber...

Duilin listened attentively as Lord Aule gave out information and laid down some ground rules. When it came to the end he stood:

"Lord Aule, I cannot thank you enough for..."

The chalk abruptly fell to the floor and snapped in half. Duilin stared at it. He'd obviously said something very wrong. "Or whichever of the Valar you are?" he continued uncertainly. "We're very glad to be rescued."

Half of the chalk flew back up the wall. I'm not a Vala, it wrote. I'm just, and here it paused, a strictly temporary servant of lord Namo.

"Are you normally one of Mahal's people?" asked one of the dwarves.

Actually, I'm not Ainur. I'm just an elf who died in Sauron's dungeons a long time ago.

"You're a ghost," said Duilin.

"You mean to say we've been rescued by an elf?" said the dwarf.

I guess you could call me a ghost, though we term it a disembodied fea if you want to be technical. And yes, you've been rescued by elves.

The dwarf shook his head, muttering something inaudible into his beard. One of the others glared at him and bowed deeply to the chalk. "Whoever you are, we are deeply in your debt and I for one am not afraid to acknowledge it. What might have your name be, so that if I ever meet your descendants I may remember my debt to your house?"

"Yes," said one of the elves. "Who are you, and why do you linger on this side of the sea?"

I have no descendents, and my house is extinct. Although if you find a mad elf with a burned hand and an incredible voice wandering beside the sea, be kind to him. And my compatriot is a relative of the lady Galadriel. He should be coming back soon; he was providing the distraction that lured the guards away. I am reluctant to give exact names should Sauron find you despite everything. As for why I'm here, I'm here under orders from lord Namo.

"I hate to mention this, but won't Sauron find us eventually?" said Damrod. "We haven't exactly gone very far."

Maybe. I certainly hope not. Sauron's currently fighting a battle and may be too busy to spend much time looking for you for the next while. We'll be doing plenty to distract him, too. Bear in mind that you are one small battle in a very much larger war. I don't pretend to know everything the Valar are doing, let alone what Eru has planned. But they are doing something, you can rest assured of that.