Tyelkormo's Great Escape by Aprilertuile
Fanwork Notes
Fanwork Information
Summary: Tyelkormo was currently outside the house, hiding from his mother. It was nearly winter and every winter was peak Alas, Tyelkormo didn’t want that. Works for the Sitcom Bingo : We need a distraction, Failure is the Only Option, and getting volunteered (poor Makalaurë's dramatic so he enjoys being volunteered, worry not, no minstrel was harmed in the writing of this fic). Major Characters: Celegorm Major Relationships: Genre: Crackfic, Family, General Rating: General Warnings: |
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Chapters: 3 | Word Count: 3, 285 |
Posted on 26 January 2025 | Updated on 6 February 2025 |
This fanwork is a work in progress. |
The problem
Read The problem
Tyelkormo was currently outside the house, hiding from his mother.
It was nearly winter and every winter was peak matchmaking activity time in Tirion’s palace. So Nerdanel focused more on her sons at this period since she wanted them to make a good impression so they could find a good wife as was proper for young adult elves.
She was all the more enthusiastic this year since she still believed that her plotting had worked for Makalaurë the previous year.
It really hadn’t, but she didn’t know that: His brother was a good actor and none of the siblings wanted to tell the truth to their mother on that point.
Alas now she seemed to have given up on Maitimo finding anyone anytime soon, and Makalaurë was seemingly in love and so she was focusing all her attention on him this year and…
Alas, Tyelkormo didn’t want that.
He didn’t want to give any false hope to his mother or to any of the noble girls of the palace.
He didn’t want a significant other.
He didn’t even want sex!
The mere idea of someone, anyone, touching him like that made his skin crawl and made him want to move permanently in the dark Avathar where no one ever went for safety’s sake.
And to top that off, he didn’t even want a child, so why would he bother trying to find a partner? The utter displeasure of living with an invasive other being who’d have opinions on him or his dog, or his manners or his chosen craft?
He’d end up living permanently in the wilds, never to return to civilization again!
He had tried already to tell his mother that, but according to her, he’d “grow out of this soon enough and would be grateful for her help in finding a good partner.”
But it was already true when he was a teenager, and still now as an adult it was true and he didn’t feel like it’d change anytime soon. He just didn’t want that!
But she didn’t want to hear him and her recent plans to have him participate in the string of the palace’s winter events for the express purpose of meeting hopeful young ladies was making his skin crawl. He was going to have to bite someone or otherwise create a scandal at court just to avoid people this season, he could feel it.
His father was going to be so disappointed in him…
He jumped, startled, when Maitimo sat on the branch next to him:
“I’ll have you know, brother mine, that I hate having to climb trees, so I’d greatly appreciate it if you could find a less bothersome hiding place.”
Tyelkormo snorted at that: “Alternatively you could have taken my chosen hiding space as a sign I wanted to see no one.”
“No, because mom is looking for you and I get the feeling that you hiding here is not an unrelated thing. So, do you want to share your troubles with me or do I need to involve Makalaurë?” Maitimo asked him.
“Mom is just being her usual self and trying to convince me that to marry is the goal of my life. Only… I don’t want a wife. I don’t want sex! I don’t want children! Just the idea of touching another like that, or being touched or. Or having an invasive other in my life or…”
Maitimo shivered next to him and nodded. Tyelkormo had probably let something linked through Osanwë. Oh well…
“I can feel it yes. You really don’t like the idea, uh? Ok then. Come with me, we’ll need Makalaurë’s help for that.”
“Why?”
“Because for mom’s planning, failure is the only option in the light of your feelings on the matter, and for that, we’ll need a distraction and Makalaurë’s our best bet.”
Tyelkormo sighed but followed his elder brother out of the tree. They gathered in their father’s workshop where their mother never went. Their father was at the palace of Tirion for the day at the request of his father so the place was sure to be empty.
“Alright, what may I do for you, my darling brothers, when I could and really should be working on…” Makalaurë started.
“Mom’s ambition to push us to find a wife is well focused on Tyelko this year, as you well know.”
“And so?”
“And we need your help to distract mom.”
Makalaurë was clearly going to protest, but Maitimo looked at him sharply and something passed between them through Osanwë. Tyelkormo thought briefly how he hated when his brothers did that and kept him out of the loop but right now perhaps he preferred not to know exactly what Maitimo showed or told their brother.
Whatever it was, Makalaurë turned absolutely serious.
“Alright then. Never mind me. What are we going to do? Because I can try to distract mom but when she gets an idea, she’s hard to distract, and won’t let me get in the way for long.”
“Tyelko is going to prepare a bag and he will spend the winter up north, doing the mapping of the settlements that dad wanted. And if he happens to incidentally get caught in a snow related situation, it couldn’t possibly be on purpose.”
“Uh… Better him than me! Have you seen the north in this season?!” Makalaurë said with an exaggerated shiver.
“I’ll take hiking in the north over having to tolerate meeting the people mom wants me to meet right now.” Tyelkormo grumbled.
“Good because it’s exactly what you’ll do.” Maitimo told him.
“Alright? So?”
“So we need to distract mom long enough that Tyelko can make his bag, grab provisions, his horse and leave. And that, my dearest, most dramatic and loud brother, is exactly what we need your help for.”
Makalaurë’s grin at that was sharp.
“Oh how I adore you, brother mine. I suppose it’s time, indeed. My epic love story with myself must come to an end. How tragic… There will be Songs about it! What did I say? Songs. Laments! Entire ballads!”
“Right. I’ll really be better off up north.” Tyelkormo grumbled.
“Makalaurë, we need you to be as loud and obnoxious as you can be, and to stay as close to mom as you can! As soon as you distract mom we’ll either take the side door or I’ll go in and open my room’s window for Tyelko!”
“I really hope it’ll work.” Tyelkormo mumbled.
“I really hope so too.” Maitimo answered with a faint smile.
“Well, I will go now. Pray for my poor broken heart! And if you so happen to meet with a woodworker willing to take a commission for a complicated musical instrument on your way, please Tyelko, remember fondly my sacrifice this day.”
Tyelkormo blinked even as Makalaurë left them to go back to the house, crying for their mother.
“I absolutely hate the fact that he enjoys that kind of…”
Maitimo chuckled at that.
“Makalaurë is bored out of his mind, brother. That is all the reason he needs to make some noise in any way he can.”
By now Makalaurë had found their mother and had thrown himself in her arms, crying helplessly and loudly. But the sound alas told Maitimo that they were in the kitchen of the house.
“And here goes my plan. Go wait under my window, I’ll go open it for you.”
They separated, Maitimo going inside by the living-room side door, alas in plain view of the kitchen where Makalaurë had found their mother, and went to his bedroom on the first floor. He opened the window and let Tyelkormo in:
“You’re far too quick to climb anything, you know that right?”
“It’s fun most of the time.”
“Pack for heavy weather. Warm clothing. Don’t be an idiot and good luck. I’ll keep watch just in case.”
Tyelkormo made his pack as he’d make it for hunting in the North with the Hunt of Oromë. He’d be fine with it. He then was told by his brother to go straight to the stables.
“No food supplies then?”
“Stop in Tirion for those, mom isn’t moving from the kitchen. Go. Be careful. Try to avoid dad in Tirion.”
“Got it.”
Makalaurë was downright wailing by now and even from the stables, Tyelkormo’s ears were ringing with all of his brother’s noise.
“I’d hate to be mom right now.”
“Mom is starting to want more kids, so that’ll be a nice reminder that kids are noisy little things.” Maitimo snorted.
“Is that why she’s that unbearable this time around?”
“I’d think so. Now go before she realizes that something’s up.”
“You think she can even hear her own thoughts long enough through Makalaurë’s racket to realize that anything is going on?!”
“It’s mom! What do you think?”
Tyelkormo grimaced, accepting that point, and just grabbed a blanket for his horse, and added another one for when they’d be up north and left the stable, leading the horse carefully so they’d stay out of sight of the kitchen.
He then mounted up and left in somewhat of a hurry. He needed to leave fast and most of all he needed to be at least a day of travel away before he’d be safe from his mother shall she discover his disappearance.
Tirion
Read Tirion
Tirion was always very colorful for the season. It was never missing its chance to become an eyesore of epic proportion in Tyelkormo’s not so humble or silent opinion.
It wasn’t even like it was really getting all that cold in Tirion anyway, not like in Valmar that was higher up in a mountain. There was never any actual snow in Tirion. And an elf would be comfortable enough in those temperatures but no, the city of Tirion as a whole was acting like winter was different.
It only was different in mountains or up north where his father was tempted to build a house - closer to those of their people who settled there.
Maybe he shouldn’t criticize the people’s desire to keep decorating Tirion like that since it meant that his father and his lamp making colleagues were kept well in business but still… To his eyes, that amount of unnatural colors and light was more headaches inducing than nice.
Tyelkormo dismounted, preferring to walk through the busy streets of Tirion. His horse let itself be led calmly.
He would go to Tirion’s market and fill a bag with travel bread. And some wine. He would find water easily on the way, but wine… And jam if he found any.
Hopefully his father would be busy in the palace and he’d be long gone from Tirion by the time his father would poke his nose outside.
In the marketplace, Tyelkormo managed to secure a nice pack of travel bread, and if he wasn’t completely stupid about it or added to it by hunting and gathering, it should even be enough to last him until he didn’t need it anymore.
He secured a couple of jars of honey, and dried fruits, but alas no jam. Oh well… He’d do without.
However when he turned to go to another merchant who seemed to have various wines in various containers, Tyelkormo spied his father dealing with said merchant.
His blood froze in his veins and he pulled his horse to the nearest side street he could see. He still could hear his brother warning him against meeting their father in Tirion if he could help it.
He didn’t know for sure what Maitimo had in mind, but whether it was because their father would take their mother’s side and bring him back home whether or not he wanted to, or because he’d be sympathetic to his plight and would start another argument with their mother, Tyelkormo didn’t think he’d enjoy the outcome.
Their parents were unbearable when they argued. It happened far too often for the sake of his sanity for one.
And for a second, shall his father take the side of his wife, he’d have to fight against both his parents and that would certainly not be a success.
The parental unit could be downright terrifying when they agreed on something.
The street was a very narrow street that had his horse throw him a threatening side-eye, but Tyelkormo pulled the animal through, and the creature followed placidly enough.
“So, what do you think? Stay here and risk encountering dad somewhere else, or leave Tirion now?”
The horse snorted, and shook its head and Tyelkormo sighed:
“You’re of absolutely no help, you know that right?”
He looked around quietly, but finally sighed again:
“Alright, let’s go to the northern gate and leave. I’d rather be without alcohol than meet dad here. Come.”
Tyelkormo carefully avoided the area of the market and started to walk toward the northern gate…
“Hey cousin Tyelko!”
He jumped out of his skin as he turned to face the voice…
That belonged to his insufferable cousin Findekáno. Right. No. Absolutely not, he was not doing that. Findekáno was a good friend of Maitimo, but certainly not of him.
Out of patience, Tyelkormo mounted his horse in one jump and sent it trotting away. He heard grumbling behind, but he didn’t turn around or acknowledged in any way that he heard or saw his cousin.
At least he was close enough to the gate of the city that the streets were actually almost empty of people at this time of the day.
It really was just bad luck that he crossed paths with his cousin.
The first part of the journey
Read The first part of the journey
Riding up north had been particularly calm. Tyelkormo didn’t cross paths with anyone of note, didn’t meet with any animal that’d force him to call on Oromë, didn’t have to make a detour due to the weather…
If he didn’t know any better, he’d think the Valar were helping his escape from the awful matchmaking of his mother.
However, he did know better. The Valar had better to do with their time than to poke their metaphorical noses into the personal lives of the Elves.
As usual when he was traveling, Tyelkormo made notes in a notebook of what he found and what path he was taking.
It was a habit he got from his father. As Fëanáro said often during their family travels in his childhood: ‘What’s the point of picking up samples of materials to test at home if it’s to forget where exactly you picked it up and how to access the place in the case of rough terrain?’
Unless Tyelkormo was mistaken, all the family had the same habit of keeping a journal of a sort when they travelled throughout Valinor by now, even if most of them weren’t picking up random samples of things, but just wandering for the sake of it, it was a habit. Their library was full of their traveling journals.
Since the winter weather was felt more strongly here, he was starting to wear his winter hunting gear, and added the second, warmer, blanket on the horse when they stopped to rest. The travel bread was handy to have: a couple of bites would sustain him as long as a full meal would.
Oromë had warned all his hunters to not live off of travel bread all year round but it’d be fine for one season if it came down to that.
He had no doubt that by now both his parents had realized that he had escaped home, but… Oh well, it wasn’t the first time someone in the family just left without a warning. Granted, it usually was their father or Makalaurë on a fit of inspiration, and it was the first time he did disappear without a warning but…
He hoped that his siblings wouldn’t have troubles for the help they gave him in escaping home.
Upon a moment of rest in the journey, Tyelkormo was sitting on the cold grass, looking at his horse who was swearing up a storm about the cold and the taste of frozen grass and the wind and…:
“You know, I think I’ll have to find you a stable where you’ll be able to spend the rest of the winter until I come and pick you up again. You will absolutely hate where I plan on going and honestly if the weather turns to snow in that area like it usually does, I’ll have trouble feeding you anyway…” Tyelkormo mused for his horse that, frankly, didn’t look like it was paying him any attention, too busy swearing with such a vocabulary that Tyelkormo never knew his lovely mare even had.
He’ll blame Makalaurë’s mouthy stallion for that one.
Tyelkormo sighed and let himself fall on his back, watching the sky and the clouds that were dancing on the wind overhead.
“And now I’m talking in Quenya to my horse like she’ll understand that. Great. I escaped too late: Mom did turn me insane.”
There was the cry of an eagle in the far distance, and Tyelkormo’s eyes turned toward the sound, catching the sight of one of Manwë’s giant birds.
Tyelkormo idly contemplated whether or not he wanted to plan a detour toward Manwë’s eagle nests to see if they had babies or not, but he quickly decided that he didn’t want, nor need, to make such a detour.
There was no bigger gossip in the world than birds. Gossip went fast, more so on wings. He refused to make it easy for his mother to find him this season.
There were things to terrible to contemplate out there, and his mother finding him in time to harass him about his supposed need to find a good wife was one such thing. There was truly no escaping the feeling of dread that came over him at the idea, and he had no will to try and work on that side of his being.
If only she was clever about it and looked toward the members of the Hunt to make the idea just a bit more palatable! but no, she was certain he’d find a good match at the palace of Tirion: In the one place in all of Valinor that he avoided cheerfully since early childhood without a fail.
The previous year he even went to Valmar more often than in the palace of Tirion!
Tyelkormo shook his head, and turned his thoughts back on his journey.
If he wanted to leave his horse somewhere safe, he needed to stop at the next village over, see if they’d agree to keep his horse in exchange for money. Perhaps he should have left his horse at the palace of Tirion. But that’d have taken the risk of his father finding him and getting the whole story of what he was doing here and that was a big no.
Only two days of travel and he’d get to the next village. The place was always darker and colder than Tirion but the elves living there didn’t seem bothered by this.
Ch 1
This is very entertaining! I love how close the brothers are and how they understand each other. And the use of osanwë.