Zingers

I wish I’d said that! We all love a cool comeback, a fierce burn, or a witty insult, particularly when it’s from one of our favorite characters. This month, we’re offering zingers and insults from literature and pop culture as inspiration. You may use the prompt any way you like - it need not be included in the fanwork, only inspire it!

To receive a prompt for this challenge, comment on our Dreamwidth, send us an ask on Tumblr, post the the #monthly-challenges channel on our Discord, or message us through the SWG site.

This challenge opened in July 2022 .

Prompts

Choose your prompt from the collection below.

View Prompts

• "She ran the whole gamut of emotions from A to B." - Dorothy Parker
• "I like your opera, I think I will set it to music." -Beethoven
• "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." - Mae West
• "If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off." - Kurt Vonnegut
• "You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!" - Monty Python
• "I don't dislike him. I just don't like him. Which is quite different." - Downton Abbey
• "The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so." - Gore Vidal
• "Light travels faster than sound, which is the reason that some people appear bright before you hear them speak." - Rowan Henry
• "Don't look at me in that tone of voice." - Dorothy Parker
• "He was the sort who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting 'All gods are bastards'." - Terry Pratchett
• "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde
• "May your genitals sprout wings and fly away." -Terry Pratchett
• "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" - Monty Python
• "You’ve got about as much charm as a dead slug." - The Hunger Games
• "Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett
• "He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle." - Alice Roosevelt Longworth
• Insults and comebacks from Monkey Island insult duels:
  • - “You fight like a dairy farmer!” - “How appropriate. You fight like a cow!”
  • - “I’ve spoken with apes more polite than you.” - “I’m glad to hear you attended the family reunion.”
  • - “I once owned a dog that was smarter than you.” - “He must have taught you everything you know.”
  • - “You make me want to puke.” - “You make me think somebody already did.”
  • - “Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified!” - “Is that your face? I thought it was your backside.”
  • - “I can’t rest ‘til you have been exterminated!” - “Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.”
  • - “I’ll hound you night and day!” - “Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!”

Unattributed or Conflicting Attributions

• He suffered from constipation of the brain and diarrhea of the mouth.
• You are like a bad case of herpes. You're inconvenient, embarrassing, no real threat, and you simply will not go away.
• If you gave him an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox.
• “What do you think of the singer's execution?” “I’m all for it.”
• Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! I still have mine.
• It’s impossible to underestimate you.
• If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
• I’d love to help you out. Which way did you come in?
• I’m glad to see you’re not letting education get in the way of your ignorance.
• Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?
• I do not consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
• I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one.
• Mister Rogers would be disappointed with you.
• You see that door? I want you on the other side of it.
• If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person in the world.
• What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me.
• You are so full of crap, the toilet’s jealous.
• Your brain is like a square tire. It'll roll, but you really got to push that sucker.