Manwë's Birthday Party by Dawn Felagund, Tarion Anarore, , Rhapsody, , oshun, , Isil Elensar, , pandemonium_213, , Beatrisu

Chapter 7 - "Loosen Up, Leggie!" by Oshun

My personal most words written in the shortest amount of time.

"Legolas!" squealed Yavanna. "I hoped you'd be here."

Now, thought Legolas, why in the world would that woman, who could take any form she wanted, wish to look like nothing so much as a down-at-the-heels wood-elven girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown after losing her feckless boyfriend in that notorious fiasco called the Last Alliance. Well, that big hulking husband of hers can never be bothered to clean the grime from under his fingernails. That could account for her lack of care in her appearance. He flicked a bit of lint off his shoulder and extended a graceful hand.

"My Lady Yavanna. It is an honor, indeed," he said, bowing from the waist, releasing her hand and studying his own, wondering if it would be rude to use the hand sanitizer he had tucked neatly in his back pocket for just such an eventuality.

"Cut the crap, Leggie. Loosen up. Have a drink. Manwë! Manwë! Get back here with the hooch. Give the cute Moriquendi boy a drink. And to think I was told your sort was loose and wild. How did that rumor ever start making the rounds?"

"I wouldn't know, my lady. Perhaps it was my father. He has quite a colorful reputation."

"Colorful? That's rich. Where is the wily old reprobate? Now he at least knows how to party."

"I am sorry, but he has not been going out much lately. Complains of too much light and not enough trees, I'm afraid."

"You are such a Debbie Downer! Don't talk to me about light or trees. Thanks, Manwë. Whoops! A little of this goes a long way," Yavanna said, jerking back the plastic champagne glass, gaining her a vicious scowl from Manwë and slopping a generous amount down the front of Legolas's leggings. He didn't have time to even fret about the stain before it dried right before his eyes and he felt a tingling burning in his loins. "Bottoms up, sweetie. No permanent damage done. If you think that burned, wait until you swallow it. We'll have you swinging from the rafters and dancing with the cats in no time."