To Doubt and To Have Faith by Himring

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Fanwork Notes

True Leader Challenge prompt: 

"We should never believe anything we have not dared to doubt." ~ Christina of Sweden

I had a number of ideas for this prompt, two of which featured women in leadership roles, but they failed to come together in time. 

Instead, in this fic, we see a woman who is nominally elevated in rank by her marriage, but instead finds herself extremely constrained. But the theme allowed me to touch on issues of faith and doubt suggested by the prompt.

Warnings: canonically very dysfunctional marriage, reference to minor character death, other issues implied by the summary and the canonical background.

Fanwork Information

Summary:

Inzilbeth, daughter of Lindorie of Andunie, struggles to maintain her childhood faith, when she is pressured into marriage with Gimilzor, prospective heir to the throne of Numenor, and finds herself surrounded by fervent adherents of the King's Party at court.

The birth of her elder son, the future Tar-Palantir, gives her hope.

Major Characters: Ar-Gimilzór, Inzilbêth, Lindórië, Númenóreans

Major Relationships:

Genre: General

Challenges: Akallabêth in August, True Leader

Rating: Teens

Warnings: Mature Themes
Chapters: 1 Word Count: 957
Posted on 8 August 2020 Updated on 8 August 2020

This fanwork is complete.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Comments

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adrift alone in the midst of a sea of Unfaith What a great image!

Poor Inzilbeth. Your description of her marriage reminded me of Catherine Parr, managing - just barely - to survive the religious upheavals of her day, and her husband's convictions (and pride) in particular. And it also reminds me of discussions with extremists (of any kind) where, even when you are convinced that you know better, they'll argue in circles until your head is spinning and you can't even sort your own thoughts anymore...

In short, this is a very convincing glimpse at Inzilbeth's situation and her struggle with doubts and a faith that feels abstract at times - such as when her father's death makes her think about the Gift (which of course isn't about dying in accidents, since an Elf might have died of a hoof to the head just as well, but about death of old age), or when she reflects that she cannot know the true reason for the Ban herself.

Thank you very much! It is good to hear that it feels convincing!

I had a critical imp sitting on my shoulder as I finished this, whispering in my ear that I was doing too much telling and not enough showing.

But Inzilbeth's troubles seem to have resonated anyway, judging by the comments I received!

(And I confess I could not have borne, at present, to try and write a blow-by-blow account of her marriage with Gimilzor!)

Ouch. What a difficult road for Inzilbeth, trying to maintain her faith and her independence in a situation that valued neither! But she does seem to be onto something - better to doubt and examine one's beliefs than maintain a rigid, unexamined certainty that can't admit any competing notion.