Pages from the Archives of Cîr Imladris by Lferion

Cîr.Im.IL-Misc:59443-cf | Negative Equation

Written for the Fan Flashworks challenge JE NE REGRETTE RIEN "I Regret Nothing" first posted here.
Also written for the SWG March 2023 Challenge Middle-Earth is Multitudes, the prompts Easterlings and Neurodiverse Characters, posted here on AO3.

Three drabble sequence text, triple drabble commentary/notes, not counting headers.

Thanks go to Zhie & Runa for encouragement & sanity-checking.

I see Caranthir as definitely not neurotypical. In fact, I am pretty sure all of Feanor's family (himself, Nerdanel, his sons, his grandson, and most likely any law-children, Fingon definitely included) are neurodiverse in various ways.

Text of Cîr.Im.IL-Misc:59443-cf | Negative Equation

Is it bravado, to be without regret? Thoughtlessness? Ignorance? Or is it that hearing the statement only is the smallest part of the equation. I understand equations, better than nearly everyone. The so-called answer is — as I have tried to explain on many occasions — the least interesting part. So what is the context, the framework, the parameters. What indeed are the questions being asked? The problem being addressed? Who is it disclaiming regret? Is that disclaimer a hope, a threat, a statement of fact, a veneer of falsehood or fantasy over a worm-eaten core of self-loathing? Is there a point?

To look at it another way, what is regret, singular or systematic? A feeling? An assessment (logical or emotional) of deeds or thoughts or something more nebulous? Something to flog oneself with? I have seen Nelyo revisiting his plans for the Fifth Battle, trying to find a way it could have gone other than it did. Was that an assessment? A punishment? Both at once? It is not an exercise he has done (that I know of) since Fingon returned. Is it regret to be unhappy, even terribly unhappy, at a plan's catastrophic failure? I think it reason, not regret.

I have been told I should regret many things, and certainly there are deeds I would do differently now, things I am not proud of, things based on incomplete or erroneous information, things I should have thought through more carefully, but I do not feel regret for them. What would be the point? I have apologized where called for, taken responsibility likewise, made note of better ways. I do not regret engaging Bor and his people, however angry and disappointed I may be — still am! &mdashe; at Uldor and his. But I see no reason for pointless and useless performative regret.

Archivist's Note

This is one of the newer pieces in the Archive, not only catalogued since the greater Household arrived in Aman and settled in Cîr Imladris, but written no earlier than TA240[AR^], that being the date Findékano-called-Fingon [HM-E, HE, etc^^] Returned, after Caranthir and Maedhros both.

^AR: Amanyar Reckoning. Before the seas were bent in SA3319, the count of years was the same in all parts of Arda. Since the changing of the world, time does not quite run congruently in Aman and Ennor. See Standards of Weights, Measures, and Intervals, Volume 4, Timekeeping, 3rd edition, Valmar Royal Press.

^^Titles and abbreviations of those who reigned variously in Ennor are an on-going point of discussion (contention) in Tirion. Generally, the children and grandchildren of Finwë are accounted royal, and entitled to the formal style of Prince or Princess, addressed as Excellency. Those who reigned as Kings are often styled Highness, occasionally as Highness-Emeritus; those who reigned as High King of the Noldor in Exile are often styled Majesty or Majesty-Emeritus. Lord/Lady are always appropriate. For a full discussion, see the Compendium of Noldorin Heraldry: History, Philosophy, and Practice, 12th edition, volume 7. Note Iron-Stave Herald's article in particular.

^^^House of Learning, Independent Scholarship program. More commonly known as Ennor University, Starlight School, Hollin-style education, and (in certain circles) "Damned Feanorian Avari-Exilic Nonsense". Nominally overseen by the Amanyar Federation of Houses of Learning, in practice a thriving cooperative with roots and branches reaching back to Cuivienen.