The Tale of the Twin Stars by Cirdan

Chapter 3

            Our love for Elenna deepened with time, and we soon desired to wed with her.  She returned our feelings as well, but she spoke little of it, for she knew not which of us she loved, and yet, I knew she loved us both, for we both loved her as well.

            As I’ve said before, being a twin is a unique experience, but not until Elros and I parted ways did I more fully understand the oddity of our bond.  Our spirits were joined and had been since our conception, but we had been born into two separate bodies.  I do not think it would have been possible for one of us to love and for the other to not also love.  After all, I could see Elenna through his eyes, and he could also see her through mine.  We were separate individuals, but we were joined closer than even husband and wife.  If we could only love together, how could we marry, for a woman could not have two husbands and more than a man two wives?  We remembered distantly the memory of having met the twin sons of Feanor, and we understood all too well why Amrod and Amras had remained unwed to the death.  Even twin children of Men would not understand, for the spirits of Men were not as strong as those of the Elf-kind.

            We continued thus for many long months, and every day seemed the more painful because neither of us could pursue our heart’s desire.  At last, I thought my heart would burst if we could not love.  Of course, Elros had the same thought as I, at the same time, no less.

            “You love her even as I do,” I said to my brother.  “Win her affections in return and be wedded to her.  At least one of us should be happy.”

            “And what of you, my brother?” Elros said.  “Can we even do such a thing?  Would you not be bonded to Elenna through me?  And even if that were not so, you would not be able to wed another, for your heart would be with her even as mines is.”

            “Let us try this, at least,” I begged.  “Go to her.  I will stay home, and then we will know if it is even possible for you to wed with her.”

            Elros would have objected if his love was any less than it was, but he could not resist the chance to explore his passions.  He went to Elenna.  She objected at first, for she loved me no less than Elros and did not wish to slight me, but Elros said that we had both wanted it to be this way.  After a time, she yielded.  They kissed for the first time, and I felt her soft lips upon mine as if I were myself there.  Elros knew what I felt as well, and his love for me was greater than even his love for Elenna.  He apologized and then fled from her house.

            Thus, our relationship continued fruitlessly.  Even when we did not see Elenna, we yearned to be with her.  She desired just as strongly to be with us, but she could not do so without being with us both.  It seemed there would be no cessation for our star-crossed love.

            At last, pushed beyond endurance, the unthinkable occurred to Elros; worse than even Kinslaying, he thought to slay himself and thus leave me free to be with Elenna.  Elros had always been close to Maedhros, who had been able to tell us apart regardless of what tricks we used, and now he thought to follow the fate of Maedhros.  I was very grateful then to be the twin brother of Elros, for if we were not so close, I would not have known his thought and been able to stop him from doing harm to himself.

            We wept in each other’s arms that night and lamented our fate.

            In the morning, I begged to my brother, “Never, ever think to do something so foolish again.”  Elros could not answer me, for he knew that I could read his heart.  He did not wish to do something so drastic, but he could not promise that the madness would not again seize him.

            I closed my eyes then and leaned against my brother.  He was said to be the elder, for he was born first from our mother, but—and this we have not spoken of to any save Maedhros, who perceived it even before us and spoke of it when we reached our maturity—we both knew that I had been conceived first, and it is by that mark that Elves usually count.  Thus, Elros was, in a manner, my younger brother, and I have ever felt protective of him since that discovery, for he was more rash than I and given to acting upon his feelings without thought.

            “Elros, your love for Lady Elenna is surely very great if you are even willing to slay yourself so that I might wed with her.  There is no need to commit such a crime against Eru himself.”  I took a deep breath and then said to him, “We have long delayed the choice of the Half-elven, but now I will choose.  I will be accounted among the people of Tuor and be judged with Men.  Already, 89 years have passed since our birth.  Beor the Old died when he had lived but 93 years; I will not have long to live now upon this world once my choice is made.  Endure the pain in your heart for a few years still, and when I pass beyond Arda, then you will be free to take Elenna as your wife.”

            Elros wept and pleaded with me not to do such a thing.  He did not wish to be separated from me.  He loved me more than her.  And yet, I knew his words were not entirely true, for he had almost separated us in order that I might have the woman we loved.  We argued and cried, but by the setting of the Sun, I had convinced Elros to accept my sacrifice.