Many Journeys by Elleth

Vanishing Like Smoke

Why did Amarië choose not to depart from Valinor into Exile? Amarië/Galadriel, with implied Finrod/Amarië/Galadriel in a V-relationship. SFW. 

They lie together, beautiful and golden and bare-skinned under their covers, pressed against one another in a circle of golden light. Candles and lamps burn about their bed to keep the dark at bay.

Artanis threads her hands through Amarië's gem-studded hair, dishevelled from the way she tossed her head as she found her bliss just moments ago, and wants to hold her forever, devour her all over again.

"You should not come with us," she says, sorrowful and low.

"Hm?" Amarië cracks one eye open, pulls a corner of the blanket over her shoulder where it slipped and exposed her to the cold. The candles in the room flicker in the movement of the air.

It's easy to tell that she did not expect to hear those words, not at a time like this, or ever. Her glance goes immediately to the mountain of things that she and Artanis have piled up to take on the road when the Marching-Forth is called - their swords, lamps and candles aplenty, for the road will be long and dark, and what passes as armour in this formerly-blessed Realm.

"I cannot explain it," Artanis says. "I know that you are gentle, and kind, and neither fool nor craven, and my heart tells me that we will have need of healers to mend the rifts between our people. You - " and here she laughs soundlessly, " - you convinced my brother and me that we might both love you and be happier thus than if our hearts were torn. I cannot think of one better to come on the road."

"Yet still you think I should stay in Aman." What bliss Amarië had been feeling is gone now, replaced by cold, and by sweat that clings, clammy, to her skin, between her breasts and at the back of her neck, and where her skin touches that of Artanis. "Give me at least a reason."

"You are not permitted to depart," says Artanis, in a deeper voice than before, as she feels the shiver of prophecy settle on her and a light come into her eyes brighter than that of the candles. "Not for my sake, but for my brother's, and that of all Middle-earth. There is something that Findaráto must do - a task that he must accomplish, and my heart tells me that if he stays for the love of you or any other - then it will not be fulfilled, to the ruin of many, and a mounting darkness that I cannot now understand."

She is weeping softly as she speaks, and after, and Amarië is silent as a stone until it passes and the light that was in Artanis' eyes fades back into the glow of lost treelight, no more or less Elda than she ever was. Already the memory of the prophecy is vanishing from Artanis' mind like the smoke of a candle blown out, for such is the way of these things, of a power too great to comprehend speaking through another's body.

"I will stay, though I must break my own heart in doing so," Amarië says, resolute. There are no tears in her eyes, and, though they are glassy, only determination. "I will endure in pity and hope, but let me at least have you while you are here."

"You will not accompany us?" Artanis asks quietly, torn in between unexplained relief and a deep sadness, and Amarië kisses her face and tastes her tears.

"No," she says softly, then against Artanis' lips. "I am not permitted to depart. The Valar have spoken, and if I can move the world to be better than it was by this, then I will."

Chapter End Notes

War of the Jewels states that "[... i]ndeed she whom [Finrod] had loved was Amarië of the Vanyar, and she was not permitted to go with him into exile." Not permitted by whom?