Maeglin's Choice by chrissystriped

Chapter Five

Maeglin was exhausted when he came home. They’d talked all night and half the morning. Turgon had only let them go to start making preparations. The news that they were giving up the city had been already proclaimed and everywhere the signs of people packing up their belongings could be seen. Talaran, his second-in-command, already waited for him.

“Is it true?”, he asked and Maeglin nodded tiredly.

“Morgoth knows where we are, the king decided to give up the city and I’m very relieved that he did.”

“You thought differently not so long ago.”

Maeglin grimaced. “Yes, that was before Morgoth found out about us.” He had to tell them – all the people of his House – or they’d hear it from someone else. The thought made his guts roil. “Talaran, call the officers and masters together and send someone into the mountains to bring our people in the mines back home. They should hurry, we only have three days – two and a half- to prepare. I’ll speak to everyone in an hour in the great hall.” Maeglin lifted his hand when Talaran opened his mouth. “Please, I’ll explain everything to you – later.” He had to prepare his speech and he needed a few minutes of sleep.

Maeglin still felt tired out when he entered the main hall of his house an hour later. His captains, master smiths and miners, who were currently in Gondolin, stood together in small groups and were conversing quietly. Maeglin felt his heart beat quicker when they all turend to him. He had the respect of his people, they were here, because they wanted to serve him. The thought of loosing that respect once they knew what he had done, made his hands tremble.

He took a deep breath and recollected himself. He hoped, no one would interrupt him during the speech he’d prepared. If he lost the thread, he wouldn’t be able to get through this. He felt terribly young and almost wished Rog were here to explain. Maeglin shook his head. Rog had helped him more than he ever dared hope, but he couldn’t lean on him all the time. He had managed on his own all this time, he could do this.

“We have to leave Gondolin. The King decided so because Morgoth knows now where our city is. You deserve to know the truth.” Maeglin had clenched his fists so hard that his nails bit into his palms, but he almost didn’t feel it. “It was me.” He tried to blend out the murmuring, staring straight ahead. What were they going to do? “A while ago, I was searching for new places to mine, I was captured by orcs. They brought me to Morgoth...” His voice broke when the memory assaulted him. He forced his tears back.

“I wasn’t strong enough. I talked. I will release everyone from my service who wants me to. I could understand, if you don’t want to serve me anymore. The King has decided to abandon the city in three days. All available carts and horses are to be gathered, they’ll be needed for provisions. What personal belongings you want to take must not be more than you can carry. Work equipment is exempt from that. You can bring it to the festival ground and have it registered, it will be transported.”

Not his most eloquent speech, all things considered. Maeglin couldn’t look into their eyes. They had to hate him! He almost feared they’d attack him – and he’d deserve it. He jumped when Talaran laid his hand on his shoulder.

“I for my part keep faith with you, my lord. Tell me what there is to do.” More softly he added: “You look very tired. Sleep a bit more, I’ll take care of everything.”

Maeglin stifled a relieved sob.

“Thank you!”, he whispered.

He quickly told Talaran everything they’d decided in the last hours. He couldn’t remember how he’d found his bed, he was already asleep when his head hit the pillow.

Maeglin wandered through the silent house. He met no one, it was like a nightmare. Had everyone left? He wasn’t surprised. Who would want to serve a traitor? He hadn’t dared to ring for a servant, because if no one would have come, he’d have had certainty of what he expected anyway – that no one was here anymore. He’d washed and dressed alone and now was on his way to the kitchen for a dinner – if they’d left any food – before going back to the palace for another council round.

He was surprised to hear voices in the kitchen and wanted to hurry back up the hallway because he dreaded to meet some stragglers, when the door opened and he looked into the face of a startled servant.

“Lord Maeglin, you’re awake? I was on my way to wake you. Dinner is ready for you and Talaran said, you need to be at the palace at ninth bell.”

Maeglin blinked taken aback and lost for words.

“Please, the table is set.”

“But... I thought... where is everyone?”

“Making preparations for the journey, my lord. Packing up important things and bringing it to the festival grounds.”

“Talaran has everything under control, hm?”

“Yes, my lord.” Maeglin felt something in his chest uncoil. “I’ll be in the dining room”, he said and turned around.

He didn’t know how many people had turned from him – and he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to know right now – but it looked like he still had a House. He didn’t really know what to think of that. Why didn’t they hate him?

He was relieved that Talaran was taking care of things. Turgon had made him his sword teacher – Eol had taught him to forge swords but had never thought it necessary to teach him how to use them – and he’d stayed as his second-in-command even when he didn’t need any more instruction. He had made the journey from Aman, he’d be better at organising this than Maeglin.

Dinner was dished up and Maeglin felt tears rush to his eyes. His cook had managed to get hold of fresh stinging nettle in this chaos and made him nettle salad for starter. It was one of his favourite dishes – something the Noldor didn’t know and that he only rarely got because they didn’t harvest the young leaves. What did it mean? Was he so important to his cook that he went out of his way to prepare this for him? He’d stayed too... or maybe he intended to leave and just wanted to make him a nice last meal. Maeglin nodded to himself. That must be it. He was still grateful for it.