Piecing our Lives back together by chrissystriped

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Chapter Four

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Maedhros stopped short when he entered his bedroom. Nolofinwe knelt naked on the floor, his eyes cast down. They hadn’t spoken in private since the morning after the coronation, Maedhros had ensured that he didn’t run into him alone and had been relieved that Nolofinwe hadn’t summoned him – he would have had to obey his king.

Nolofinwe was shivering and Maedhros wondered how long he’d been waiting here. He had spent the afternoon sparring in the forest with Findekáno. His technique was slowly getting better - frustratingly slowly, and it was so infuriating that he had to consciously think about the easiest parries because all his ingrained reactions were wrong, but he was making progress and he also started to feel like himself again, now that his body had mostly recovered. He had wanted to get changed before dining with his brothers, but now... Maedhros locked the door.

“What are you doing here, núro?”, he asked sternly and didn’t leave any doubt that he wasn’t talking to his uncle and king but to his servant. (‘Slave’, a dark voice whispered in his head and Maedhros shoved the thought away. No, Nolofinwe had never been his slave.) Nolofinwe had come to him and he didn’t want to discuss it, he didn’t have the strength to resist his own longing. “I don’t remember calling you.”

Nolofinwe took a trembling breath and threw him a quick glance. “I miss you, my prince”, he answered. “I dream about you and wake aroused and longing for you. Please, Prince Nelyafinwe, give me your attention.”

Maedhros gripped a fistful of hair, unbound the way he liked it, and pulled Nolofinwe’s head back. “Have you forgotten that it is only my pleasure that counts?”, he snapped. “I doesn’t matter what you want.”

Something dark and desperate moved across Nolofinwe’s face. “And don’t you want me anymore, Prince Nelyafinwe?”, he asked and Maedhros knew this wasn’t a game now, he meant it very seriously.

“I do”, he answered gently and caressed Nolofinwe’s cheek. “Always.”

‘But you wouldn’t want me, if you knew...’ He pushed the thought aside. Maybe it was selfish to keep it from him, knowing that he wouldn’t be here if he knew, but he couldn’t tell him. And he didn’t have the strength to send him away again, it had almost ripped his heart in two the first time.

“But now I’ll have to teach you a lesson”, he said sternly and Nolofinwe smiled, because he knew it meant he accepted his submission.

Maedhros locked all his doubts away. Nolofinwe was here, Nolofinwe wanted him, he hadn’t come out of pity. ‘I dream about you’, he had said. Maedhros let go of his hair and slid his thumb over his lower lip. Nolofinwe shivered and made a soft sound, his lips parting slightly.

“I expect perfect obedience, núro”, Maedhros said. “Even more than before.”

Nolofinwe’s eyes moved to the stump and he nodded. “Of course, my prince. I wouldn’t think of defying you.”

Maedhros slid his thumb into his mouth and Nolofinwe sucked on it.

“What a sight you are”, he whispered and Nolofinwe’s cheeks blushed.

He would have liked to spank him until his ass was glowing and he writhed on his lap, his arousal hot against his thigh, but he had justified doubts about his ability to strike with any accuracy. His left hand still felt so clumsy.

“On the bed, núro”, he ordered. “Lie on your back.”

Nolofinwe obeyed without hesitation and it felt so good. Maedhros sat down on the edge of the mattress and stroked his chest.

“Don’t move”, he ordered gently, “show me how obedient you can be.”

Nolofinwe took a deep, trembling breath. Maedhros watched him closely while he caressed him, sometimes with the flat of his hand, sometimes only with his fingertips. Nolofinwe’s skin rose in goose-bumps when he drummed his fingers along the inside of his thigh and his breath hitched when he dragged his nail up the hollow of his knee, but he didn’t move, not even his fingers twitched. Maedhros kissed his neck to hide his emotion. It meant so much to him that Nolofinwe obeyed him so unconditionally.

He touched Nolofinwe’s arousal with the stump and Nolofinwe moaned, his muscles trembled as he fought not to thrust into the touch. The scar tissue was pressure-sensitive, especially where the bones were, but he didn’t have much feeling in the skin. The scars were ugly and it was so obvious that something was missing, he was barely able to look at it, he’d never have thought that he would dare to touch him like that. But Nolofinwe had kissed it and now he didn’t seem to be disgusted by being touched like this – more to the contrary, judging by the sounds he made.

“My núro”, he murmured and kissed Nolofinwe’s cheeks, his lids, his lips, sliding his stump slowly up and down his cock. “You are so good for me.” He let go of him for a moment to undress. “Turn around, núro.” Nolofinwe moved to lie prone on the bed and Maedhros knelt between his spread legs. “Remember not to move”, he said before he used his stump to draw spirals and tendrils on his back.

Maedhros took his time to experiment, turning his arm this way and that until he found a spot where he had enough feeling to enjoy the smoothness of Nolofinwe’s flushed skin and the minute trembles that went through his body. The stump still felt like something that didn’t belong – couldn’t belong! - to his body, but right now he thought he might be able to make his peace with it after all. Maedhros kneaded Nolofinwe’s buttock with his hand, before sliding his finger down his cleft and rubbing his entrance. He felt oil and bowed forward to kiss Nolofinwe’s ear.

“You are wonderful”, he whispered. “Did you bring more oil along?”

“Yes, my prince”, Nolofinwe answered with trembling voice. “In my pocket.”

Maedhros patted Nolofinwe’s backside before standing up to fetch the phial. For a moment he contemplated just dipping it, but he was sure that would startle Nolofinwe into moving and he didn’t want to be mean, so he made sure he realised he was coming back.

“I’m going to slick you up a little more, núro”, he said, touching his skin with the back of his hand, before drizzling the oil down his cleft.

Nolofinwe took a shuddering breath as Maedhros prepared him slowly, his passage trembled around his fingers. Maedhros stifled a moan at the thought of how it would feel around his cock.

“Please, my prince”, Nolofinwe whimpered and Maedhros grinned, lazily moving his fingers in and out.

“Please what, núro?”

“Fuck me, please. Let me... let me serve your pleasure.”

Maedhros grin widened. Nolofinwe clearly had enough presence of mind left to not want to risk being admonished for thinking of his own pleasure again.

“I might just feel like it”, he said, reaching out to pull him up by his waist and a sharp pain shot through him when he remembered his missing hand again.

Maedhros gritted his teeth. What was he doing here? He moved back, his arousal flagging. But Nolofinwe seemed to feel that something had changed and said softly: “My prince, I want you as you are, I’m yours. Let me serve you.”

Maedhros felt their fёar touch and tears sprang to his eyes. “My núro.” He kissed his neck before sliding his arm under his belly and pulling him to his knees, he could learn to live with his mutilation.

Maedhros slid his cock up and down Nolofinwe’s cleft, soon he was hard again, his desire spurned on by the sensation and the needy sounds Nolofinwe was making. Maedhros groaned as he entered him slowly, wringing more desperate, aroused sounds from him. Nolofinwe trembled, his back wet with sweat, but he was still holding still. Maedhros kissed his neck again.

“You are serving me so well, my núro. You are allowed to move now. Show me that your words are true.”

He gasped when Nolofinwe pushed back, taking him deeper. Maedhros braced himself on his forearm, his hand lying on Nolofinwe’s hip who fucked himself on him with quick motions. Hot shivers ran down his spine.

“Núro, my núro”, he moaned and bit Nolofinwe’s shoulder. He wanted to mark him, wanted everyone to see that Nolofinwe was his. Reaching around him he started to stroke Nolofinwe’s cock quickly. When he’d started this he’d thought to make him wait for his release, but now he just wanted to come with him. “Come for me”, he gasped and came himself when Nolofinwe cried out, his muscles clenching around him.

 

Nolofinwe snuggled into Maitimo who had slumped beside him.

“I’m happy”, he whispered. “So happy that you still want me.”

Maitimo enfolded him in a bone crushing embrace. “I never stopped wanting you. I wanted you so much, but I thought I mustn’t. I’m still not sure...”

Nolofinwe didn’t say anything, he didn’t want Maitimo to push him away again if he asked him about it. Maitimo gave him a loving look and caressed his cheek.

“My Nolofinwe”, he whispered. “Thank you so much. You made me so happy, too, with coming here.”

Nolofinwe sighed relieved. He’d been unsure about it, hadn’t known if he’d push him too far by sneaking into his bedroom. It had been a higher risk than he’d taken in a long time – the thought of anyone but Maitimo coming in had made him sweat in fear – but hearing this from him made the risk worth it.

“Maedhros... can I stay a while longer?”

Maitimo beamed at him. “Of course you can. But won’t you be missed?”

Nolofinwe shook his head. “Not right now. I can’t stay the night, but a while longer.”

Maitimo gave him a joyful kiss and jumped when someone knocked impatiently against the door.

“Maedhros, what’s taking you so long? We are starving!” Nolofinwe though that he recognised Curufinwe’s voice.

“I’m coming! Give me a minute!”, Maitimo answered.

“You better, or I’ll come in and drag you out!”

Nolofinwe tensed, the thought of being found in Maitimo’s bed – by one of his brothers! – was horrifying. Maitimo’s laugh sounded a little tense, too.

“That won’t be necessary.” He looked at him regretfully. “I’m afraid I have to leave you for now. Are you going to be here, when I come back? I won’t take long.”

Nolofinwe nodded. “I’ll be here.”

“Good.”

Maitimo dressed hastily, Nolofinwe could see that he had a few difficulties with closing the buttons with one hand, but he managed it alone. Before he left, Maedhros turned back to him with a pensive gaze. Nolofinwe squeaked in surprise when he pulled the blanket back and wrapped his hand around his cock.

“You’ll wait here for me, núro”, Nelyafinwe said with a grin. Nolofinwe moaned, his cock hardening under his prince’s knowing touches. “And when I come back, I want you to be hard. You may touch yourself to stay hard, but you are not to come, do you understand?”

“Yes, my prince”, Nolofinwe gasped and whimpered when Nelyafinwe let go of him, his arousal throbbing.

His prince gave him a quick kiss and whispered against his lips: “See you soon, my núro.”

 

Maedhros hoped he hadn’t seemed too absentminded through dinner or his brothers might worry. He didn’t need another disruption. It wasn’t unusual for him to retire soon after dinner, his body was still not back to his normal strength, although his wounds had healed. Maedhros carefully locked the door and turned around to Nolofinwe. The view made him shiver with pleasure.

Nolofinwe was drenched in sweat, his skin flushed. He was stroking himself slowly, lips parted slightly. Maedhros wanted to kiss him, suck that full lip into his mouth, feel his moans in his throat.

“Stop, núro”, Maedhros said and Nolofinwe obeyed with a whimper, his body shuddering.

He looked at him with dark, pleading eyes and Maedhros put on a grin, inwardly he was flowing over with affection. He’d missed him so much.

“What a wanton creature you are”, he said and caressed his thigh, Nolofinwe was trembling under his hand. “But you’ll be good and wait for your prince’s permission, won’t you?”

“Yes, my prince. I’m yours to command”, Nolofinwe croaked.

“I find myself in the mood to feel your lips on me, núro.” Maedhros knelt on the bed and opened his trousers to free his cock. “Come here.”

Nolofinwe crawled over with a whimper and pressed a kiss to the tip before wrapping his lips around his cock. Maedhros moaned and slid his hand into Nolofinwe’s already tousled hair. He looked down, rocking his hips and could have come from the sight alone.

“You look so good with my cock in your mouth, núro”, he groaned. “It’s one of my favourite sights.”

Nolofinwe blushed brightly and Maedhros grinned. He was getting close, when suddenly it was like he’d switched places. He was choking, Morgoth gripping his hair and thrusting into his mouth. His throat and lips were sore and he couldn’t breathe! Maedhros scrambled back, almost falling off the bed in his haste, his arousal gone. Sobbing, he clung to the post of the canopy, his back turned to Nolofinwe.

“Maedhros, did I do something wrong?” Nolofinwe didn’t touch him and Maedhros was grateful for it, he couldn’t have endured it now. He shook his head, crying too hard to get a word out. “Please, Maedhros, how can I help you?”

‘Don’t leave me’, Maedhros thought. He didn’t want Nolofinwe to see him like this – Too late, the cynical part of his mind told him – but the thought of him leaving was unbearable.

‘How can I help you?’ Nolofinwe’s fea touched his gently, ready to pull back.

‘Make it go away!’, he answered without thinking. ‘The helplessness.’

Maedhros leaned his forehead against the post, thinking that he felt Nolofinwe’s eyes on him, but his uncle didn’t say a word. He could hear rustling and felt the mattress move under him. Maedhros risked a peek over his shoulder and saw Nolofinwe blindfold himself with a sash. Maedhros watched in fascination as he tied his own hands together. He knelt on the bed, motionless, blindfolded and bound – vulnerable. And Maedhros realised what he was doing. He made himself helpless so Maedhros could be strong.

“Nolofinwe”, he whispered gently and embraced him.

Nolofinwe said nothing, just leaned into him a little and let himself be held. Maedhros clung to him, trembling, suddenly afraid of the power that was laid in his hands.

“What are you doing? Can’t you see that I’m unable to look after you?”

“I trust you”, Nolofinwe answered. “You are in command and I know you’ll take care of me.”

Maedhros took a deep breath. He wouldn’t let Nolofinwe come to harm. Nolofinwe trusted him, made himself so vulnerable, even now when he’d seen him falling apart... it didn’t arouse him but holding his bound lover in his arms made him find a place of strength inside him. He could be that – he wanted to be that. Morgoth wouldn’t win. Maedhros wiped the tears from his cheeks, the trembling had stopped, and kissed Nolofinwe’s cheek.

“Thank you”, he murmured and lay down with him, just holding him a while.

Nolofinwe stayed completely silent, breathing slowly, his body relaxed. Maedhros slid his hand down his arm and back up his chest, cradling his throat gently. Nolofinwe’s breath hitched a little at the touch. Maedhros suddenly wondered, if he’d be able to tell him, after all. Like this, bound and blindfolded, maybe gagged, unable to do anything but listen. Maedhros pressed a kiss to his shoulder. Not today, he knew Nolofinwe would have to leave soon and he needed time for that.

“I’m sorry for spoiling the fun”, he said softly.

“Don’t be”, answered Nolofinwe equally soft. “There’ll be other occasions.”

“Yes, in fact...” Maedhros coughed and slid back into the voice of Prince Nelyafinwe. “I told you, I’d teach you a lesson, núro”, he said tweaking Nolofinwe’s nipple. “You won’t touch yourself until we see each other again, and it’s for me to determine when that’s going to be. Your desire is mine to fulfil, only mine. Do you understand?”

Nolofinwe shuddered in his arms. “Yes, my prince. As you command”, he answered.

Maedhros smiled, undid his ties and slid the blindfold off his eyes.

“Thank you”, he said again. “I know we didn’t discuss...”

“It’s fine.” Nolofinwe caressed his cheek. “More than fine, actually. And we did, a long while ago.” A shadow crossed his face and Maedhros knew he thought of the reason why this was possible now.

“I’m sorry”, he said and wasn’t sure if he really was. Anaire’s staying in Aman meant he had Nolofinwe to himself now and that was a selfish thought, but he couldn’t push it completely out of his mind. Nolofinwe shook his head.

“It hurts that she left me, but it gives me strength to know that she is safe. I don’t know if I could have endured the ice, seeing her suffer.” He shuddered and Maedhros felt guilt for that come over him again.

“I’m sorry. I should have argued more...”

Nolofinwe laid his fingers on his lips. “Let’s not talk about it.” He kissed Maedhros long and gently. “I don’t blame you. I wish I didn’t but I have to leave now.”

Maedhros nodded and watched him get dressed. “I’ll help you sneak out.”