Piecing our Lives back together by chrissystriped

---

Chapter Six

---

He was so surprised when his blade pushed Findekáno’s sword aside and he suddenly was inside his guard that he almost let go of his weapon. The look on Findekáno’s face was as surprised as he felt, before it turned into a radiant smile.

“Ha! I knew you could do it!”, he exclaimed and embraced him.

“Only because you held back”, Maedhros said, not daring to believe it yet.

“Not so!”, Findekáno protested. “That was all you.”

And Maedhros knew by the sweat on Findekáno’s brow and his quick breath that it was true. He hadn’t spared himself or him. Maedhros laughed happily. For the first time he could believe that he might be able to go to battle, after all – even with only one hand.

“Thank you.” Maedhros returned his embrace happily. “For all your help. For bearing my tempers.”

He had cursed and shouted at Findekáno and his friend had accepted it, had said nothing, had held him when he could do nothing but cry and said nothing, either, when he’d pushed himself to exhaustion.

“You are my best friend”, Findekáno said. “I’m there for you, whatever it is you need. I’ll come with you when you go east.”

Maedhros moved back and stared at him. “Are you mad? You’re needed here!”

Findekáno’s face was serious. “I promised to be your right hand.”

“That was before I ceded the crown to your father!”, Maedhros answered.

“I didn’t promise it to the king! It doesn’t change anything.”

“It changes everything! You are the heir to the throne now!” Maedhros gripped his shoulder.  “You can’t leave your people and much less for serving me. Do you know how that would look?”

Findekáno took a trembling breath. “I don’t care”, he said but Maedhros knew, that he was seeing it.

“Findekáno”, he said gently. “You are the best of us all. You did what no one dared and saved my life and I’ll always be grateful for that. I’m proud to be your friend. But you are needed here, your place is at your father’s side. We are princes, we do what is our duty, although that isn’t always what we want to do.”

It was hard to tell him no. His mind searched for possibilities how it could work. The thought of having Findekáno as near to him as he hadn’t been since their childhood, was tantalising. His best friend who had not given up, even when he thought he’d been deserted by him and in front of whom he didn’t feel ashamed when he was clumsy with his one remaining hand. On who’s shoulder he could cry if he needed to. Findekáno had not once asked him about Angband and still managed to give him the feeling that he could tell him anytime, if he wanted. But he had already become a kinslayer because of their friendship, he had to keep his distance.

“You are right.” Findekáno sighed. “I wish it were different. But I expect letters! I hope that’s clear.”

“I’ll do my best.” Maedhros grimaced. The readability of his writing was more than poor. He lifted his sword off the ground. “Let’s have another go?”

Findekáno nodded. “Gladly. You should start to spar with others.”

“Maybe I’ll take Maglor along next time.”

He wasn’t confident enough of his skill yet, to do this for everyone to see, but Maglor would be fine.

“Ready?” Findekáno moved into his guard and pointed the sword at him. Maedhros touched it with his own weapon. “Ready.”

 

Nolofinwe woke with racing heart. It was dark in the room but he felt like someone was watching him. Did he hear someone breathe? Nolofinwe shook his head at himself and turned on his side. No one was in here. Who should sneak into his room? He was dozing off again when a voice said: “You have to tell me No.”

Nolofinwe shot up with a very un-kingly squeak.

“Maedhros?”, he asked, his heart in his throat. He took a few deep breaths. “You almost scared me to death! What are you doing here?”

He heard clothes rustling and felt the mattress dip, when Maedhros sat down beside him.

“I need you”, he murmured and kissed his neck. Nolofinwe wondered how he found anything in the darkness, he couldn’t see anything. “You have to tell me No.”

“What do you mean?”, Nolofinwe answered confused. “Why?”

Maedhros hand found its way under the blanked and slid up his thigh. Nolofinwe moaned softly. Maedhros’s teeth nibbled at his skin, his thumb drew small circles at the point where his thigh met his body, close to his wakening erection.

“To this”, Maedhros answered against his neck. “Tell me to stop.”

If Nolofinwe hadn’t heard the deep despair in Maedhros’s voice, he would have thought this was a game.

“Why?”, he asked and felt for Maedhros’s face. He would have liked to uncover the crystal lamp but he had a feeling that Maedhros wanted it to be dark. He caressed his cheek. “What’s going on, Maedhros?”

“I...” He felt Maedhros shake his head. “Please, just... I’m going to turn you on your stomach and give you a few slaps to your backside. Tell me to stop. Please!”

Nolofinwe was worried and confused when Maedhros turned him over. The night air was chill on Nolofinwe’s bare skin. He gasped when something hard met his buttock with a loud smack and then again on the other side. His half-hard cock dug into his belly and he rubbed himself against the mattress. He didn’t want Maedhros to stop – a third smack a little lower than the other two – it felt wonderful! But Maedhros... he had been serious – deadly serious. He didn’t know what this was about, but he would oblige him, although it was hard.

“Prince Nelyafinwe”, he said after the fourth slap. “Please, my prince, stop.”

Maedhros sobbed, the object he had beaten him with fell to the floor with a muffled thump. Nolofinwe turned on his side and reached out, Maedhros fled into his arms.

“Thank you”, he sobbed and Nolofinwe stroked his hair as he cried trembling at his shoulder.

He didn’t ask again what this had been about, Maedhros would tell him, once he was ready. Maedhros’s sobs became softer and finally he lay calmly in Nolofinwe’s arms.

“I... I had to hear it”, he whispered with hoarse voice. “That you’d say it and that I’d listen. I had to experience it, to know that this is different from... from what He did to me.”

“You are not like him.” Nolofinwe kissed Maedhros’s forehead. “You never did anything against my will and I know that this will never change. Are you feeling better?”

Maedhros nodded. “I’m sorry for startling you, but... I wasn’t sure if I should really wake you and bother you with this.”

“You don’t bother me. You can always come to me, no matter the time. How did you get here?”

“I walked. I couldn’t sleep.” Maedhros clung to him. “Do you promise that you’ll never let me do anything to you only because I want it? You’ll tell me, if you don’t want to do something?”

Nolofinwe continued to stroke his soft hair. “I promise it, Maedhros. What we do, it will always be with my complete consent.”

Maedhros sighed relieved and soon Nolofinwe felt his breath deepen and his muscles relax – he’d fallen asleep in his arms. It was already dawning and he’d have to wake him soon, if he wanted to slip out unnoticed, but for the moment he wanted to hold him and make him feel save.