A New Life in an Old Home by chrissystriped

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Chapter One

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No one waited for him when he left Mandos. Maedhros hadn’t wanted it any different. He was close to Formenos, only a long march away. Before he met other people, he wanted to move this new body a little. It started to rain and Maedhros pulled the hood of his cloak over his head. He didn’t know what would happen when he met his uncles and he needed to get used to life before he did that. Maybe it was cowardly, but he didn’t have the strength.

The short grass on the rocky ground felt springy under his steps and he enjoyed the feeling of the cool air filling his lungs. He’d thought it could never be that way again, they hadn’t fulfilled the Oath — but then Namo had told him that Ilúvatar forgave them and nullified the Oath. Maedhros hadn’t wanted to live again for a long time regardless — not after all the things he’d done. The thought of how Fingon and Nolofinwe would look at him... It was still a scary thought, but one he intended to face. Now that he was allowed to. He’d served his sentence and it had been long years of his fea aching for a hroa.

Maedhros saw the grey stone of the fortress appear on the horizon, barely distinguishable from the mountains around it. His father had called it a fortress, but now that he knew something about war and building fortresses, he saw how easy it would be to take it. Even when they’d spent their time forging swords and armour and listened to Morgoth’s lies, not knowing it were his words, they’d been innocent — before the Darkness.

The grey walls came slowly closer and Maedhros readied himself to be recognised. A banner with the Star of Feanor flew above the tower. When he was a few dozen steps away from the gate, it opened and two elves ran towards him. Their hair glowed like flames in the grey surrounding and Maedhros stopped in his step.

“Ambarussa”, he whispered as they hugged him.

“Maedhros, we saw you come and we knew it’s you”, Amras said and Amrod nodded.

Maedhros looked at his youngest brother and tears ran down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Amrod. The ships, I... forgive me!”

Amrod hugged him tighter. “I know. I also know that you didn’t take part. I’m not angry with you, Maitimo.”

“Come in. Horrible weather. Let’s get you warm.” Amras took his hand and the twins pulled him into the fortress.

Soon he sat in dry clothes, that were a little too small for him and a steaming cup of tea — Amrod had added a generous swig of brandy — in front of a roaring fire.

“And you’ve come here straight away? Not Tirion?”

Maedhros shook his head. “It seemed... too much. I wasn’t sure how our uncles are going to receive me. I didn’t know that you are here.”

“Only in summer”, Amrod said. “It’s too warm in Tirion.”

Maedhros looked out of the window and laughed. “Yes, the summer in Formenos is truly splendid.”

“Our uncles hold the opinion that everyone who is allowed to leave Mandos, is forgiven. You don’t have to fear retaliation.”

No retaliation... was that the best he could hope for? Maedhros shook his head at himself. Nolofinwe was reunited with his wife. And after the crimes he’d committed, he surely didn’t want him anymore. He’d forgiven him Alqualonde and the Ice, but Doriath? Sirion? Maedhros shuddered. “And everyone agrees with that?”

Amras shrugged. “Not everyone is happy that we were forgiven, but they accept the decision of the kings.”

“I’ll soon pay my respects to them, but...”

“Returning isn’t easy”, Amrod said.

“After the long time in the silence of Mandos”, Amras continued.

They’d driven him mad by continuing each other’s sentences, when they’d all been young, but now it brought tears to his eyes. He remembered too well how Amras had sometimes stopped in the middle of a sentence, before he remembered that no one would finish it. It had broken Maedhros’s heart every time.

“Stay here for a few days, get used to living again. And when you are ready, we’ll ride back to Tirion together.”

“You’ll break off your summer holiday for me?”

Amrod leaned against him. “But of course, big brother. We won’t let you leave alone.”

Maedhros bit his lip to stop himself from starting to cry again. Whatever waited for him in Tirion, he still had a family, he had his brothers. He’d forgotten how good it felt to know that. They’d had each other in Mandos, too, but that had been... different and Maedhros realised that his memories of the time there — as long as it had been — were already fading.

“Thank you”, he whispered. “That means everything to me.” He took a deep breath. “How is mother? And our brothers, are they…”

“Amme is well. I’m sure she’d be happy to see you.”

“Yes?” Maedhros sipped at his tea. He wanted to see her. He wanted to go home and be embraced by her and told that everything was alright and forgiven.

Amras met his eyes. “She will”, he said again. “We’ll visit her on our way to Tirion. She moved back in with our grandparents.”

Maedhros smiled wryly. “Since when have you become so bossy, little brother?”

“Since I realised you didn’t have any more clue what to do than I. Stealing from Eonwe. Really?”

“Let’s not talk about this”, Amrod interjected. “You are back and that is all that matters. As to our brothers: You are the last, you stubborn idiot. Even Maglor came back over the sea earlier. He’s in Alqualonde, atoning for his deeds as he never died and thus was not judged by Namo. Curufin is here, but I doubt he noticed your arrival. You know how he gets when he is working. He decided Formenos is his and lives here all year. His inventions and jewellery are very sought after, even with him being feanorian. Celegorm… vanished in the deep forest. I think amme hears from him now and then, but he keeps away from people. Caranthir lives in Tirion, he’s… selling other people’s crafts and taking a piece of their profit for it. You’ll have to ask him how that works.”

Maedhros smiled. He didn’t know if he should be worried for Celegorm and he was worried that Curufin lived up here all alone — although it eased his worry a little that the twins seemed to spend a lot of their summers here — but he was happy that they had been given another chance at life, too. He didn’t ask about their father. He knew they’d have told him if he were alive.

“And what are you two up to these days?”, he asked instead.

“Oh, you  know, being the irresponsible youngest siblings”, Amras laughed. “We go hunting a lot and sell the fur. We are pretty self-sufficient.”

“And we annoy our relatives”, Amrod added. “Curufin threatens to throw us out at least twice a week.”

Maedhros laughed and felt tears prick at his eyes. “It is good to be back. It is so good to see you, little brothers.”

The Oath was gone. By the grace of Eru they had been released. That didn’t mean everything was over, but it meant they could finally make a new start.

 

Later, Maedhros knocked on he doorframe of the forge, waiting for Curufin to notice him. He felt his throat tighten with emotion. So many memories of their father working here… Curufin turned around, a look of annoyance on his face — and froze.

“Ambarussa tell me you bury yourself in the forge, so I decided to come and look for you.”

“Maedhros.” A look of relief crossed his brother’s face. “I was wondering… but you are here.”

To Maedhros surprise Curufin came over and hugged him. “I’m sorry”, he said.

“For what?”, Maedhros asked. “You did not do me any wrong.”

“No?” Curufin grimaced. “I did not trust you to be right when you gave the crown to our uncle. I know now you were right and I’m sorry for doubting you. I’m sorry for doubling down on the Oath when…”

Maedhros shook his head. “I would have gone that way anyway. It is over and done, for better or worse. How are you doing?”

“Quite well actually. It seems it’s fashionable to own something made by the notorious Curufinwe Feanárion.” Curufin curled his lip.

“I didn’t mean financially”, Maedhros said gently.

“What do you want me to say?” Curufin shrugged. “I’ve made up with Felagund but… I doubt it’s ever going to be he same again. I hate how people look at me on the street, I can’t stand Tirion. But I’ve always liked this place — and I can keep an eye on Tyelko that way.”

“So you are in contact with him?” Maedhors didn’t persist, he could see Curufin didn’t want to talk about himself.

“Yes, sporadically. He wants to get into Orome’s good graces again, at least he says so, I’m not sure if he’s dared yet to actually approach him.”

“We all have that one person that’s harder to meet than anyone else, I guess”, Maedhors mumbled, thinking of Nolofinwe.

“Fingon?”, Curufin asked with raised eyebrows. “Let me give you one piece of advice I wish I’d followed: Don’t wait too long. It makes it only more awkward than it already is.”

Maedhros didn’t correct him about his guess. At least there wasn’t any possibility of delaying his meeting with Nolofinwe for too long. He couldn’t risk insulting the High Kings.

“I’ll start on my way to Tirion tomorrow”, he said. “The twins are coming with me.”

“Good, get them finally out of my hair.”

Maedhros chuckled. “They mentioned you threaten to throw them out of here on a regular basis. Just like old times, eh?”

Curufin smiled wryly. “Almost. Yes. It’s good to have you back, big brother. We all missed you.”

“I missed you too”, Maedhros said softly, not meaning his time in Mandos.

Curufin swallowed hard. “Now let me get back to work, will you?”, he snapped gruffly and Maedhros left him with a smile on his lips. Yes, he had come home.

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Chapter End Notes

In this fic I'm going with "The Shibboleth of Feanor", where Amrod is the younger twin and is burned with the ships.